You have to show your love. The quality of sex or physical intimacy between the two of you is important. But remember that love isn’t just about the number of times you have sex, or about how many orgasms the two of you reach. It’s about the how
each of you can help each other grow into wise and mature human beings, and how you can each make both of you happy.
How willingly and creatively the two of you share each other’s time, energy, talent, and other resources to achieve this is a good indicator of deeply you’ve fallen in love with one another, and how capable both of you are in sustaining a long- term relationship. It’s what will help both you “keep” one another.
Question #2:
“When should sex happen, and how often?”
Given the rules I just mentioned beforehand, this question should be a fairly simple one to answer.
Don’t have sex with anyone unless you’re absolutely sure they’re seriously after a long-term relationship with you.
In real life, I know plenty of people among you will scoff at what I just said. When you get the hots for someone, it’s oh so, so hard to resist.
Unfortunately in today’s modern world, very little is said about the full power of sex in a relationship. Much of our attention is focused on the physical pleasure and excitement of
it, and on those aspects alone. Our old-fashioned folks weren’t of much help in this area either, because they were either incapable of describing just what it was about sex that made it risky outside of a long-term relationship—or were neurotically inclined to think of sex as evil.
So I’ll spell it out right here and now. Sex is a powerful way for couples to “imprint” themselves on each other, permanently. The imprinting I refer to here is the human equivalent of what happens to a duckling that beholds the first object it sees when it first hatches out of its shell. (The little thing imprints on “it” psychologically and follows it, wherever
it goes. “It” is assumed to be the mother duck, but farm people and pet owners will tell you “it” can be just about anything.)
Even the most jaded or sexually promiscuous people will admit that, depending on the person, a permanent form of imprinting happens during sex. As intelligent human beings we can, of course, override sexual imprinting and have multiple, simultaneous sex partners for all we please. But it’s foolish to think that some part of your psyche or wisdom isn’t lost, damaged, or sent off-balance when you do.
This is precisely the reason why, to this day, despite the excitement we feel on seeing or meeting real-life “sex-pots”, there’s still an undercurrent of disdain in how we view people who are into casual or multiple partner sex. (Insults like “big slut” and “cheap gigolo” come to mind.)