Mixin' Misery & Skiin' - Heinsian Skiboy in Western Music by Gary Heins - HTML preview

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'Cause she loved the skiboy, my writing and lingo

---That's all I needed to know;

Yeah, I found I was needed

on the Ski Shores of Old Jackson Hole.

Yeah, she loved the skiboy, my writing and lingo

---That's all I needed to know---Ha-hah;

Yeah, I found I was needed

on the Ski Shores of Old Jackson Hole.

32 -- MIXIN' MISERY & SKIIN'

This was not an easy song to rewrite---the mouble-dean-ings and "needs" and "bees" and "buts" and "becauses" were tremendous,---but it's an important song, because it talks about the obvious, . . . that poor "faded glove" ski instructors are often treated like prostitutes, complete with low self-es-teem. It's no secret that everyone sees ski instructors as having a romantic sex-crazed lifestyle, but it's not usually in-the-end as romantic and lasting as everyone thinks. People come to the mountain, they fall in love with their ski instructor, they have a fling for a night or two, maybe a whole week, and then the poor ski instructor is left high-n-dry yearning for the next quick fix, if not something bigger. It can be fun at first, but the economics of the situation are ter-rible: ski instructors can end up spending their whole life kissing the rich people's ass on and off the slopes in order to make ends meet in the expensive ski town---Gary's not near as good at faking it as some people. Don't get us wrong: Gary loves his students to no end, but, even though he's spent nights with guests in the triple-digits, he's spent most of his life sleeping alone, alonelier than anyone, with more lonely triple-digit goodbyes than anyone can imagine. The same thing happens over and over in romantic places like Jackson Hole, or Steamboat, or Park City, or Vail, with dude wranglers, river-raft guides, and on and on and on: the rich high-paying guest falls in love with their romantic guide, for a short interlude, then the rich guest leaves the guide to fend or his-r-her-self---it can work the other way too. In the early 1990s, two young-stud Vail instructors were fired for brag-ging in GQ Magazine about what really goes on. From late 2010, a poingnant remake of a Shelly West classic, "Another Motel Memory"---now, if we can find just someone with a great voice like Shelly West:

Heinsian SKI-BOY-n-WESTERN MUSIC -- 33

Another

Jackson Hole Memory

I can see your desire

reachin' out . . . from day-skiin' to night; I can feel your turns

goin' from these slopes . . . to bein' warm in-side; But there's somethin' I'd rather do

than spend just-one-night with you.

'Cause the last-thing I need

is another Jackson Hole Memory,

The last-thing we need

is another Jackson Hole Casualty;

I need Lasting Love---

you're the last love I will ever need;

But the last-thing I need

is just another Jackson Hole Memory.

I've been here before:

it's our last snow dance, and it's time to go; If you can feel the love

as steep-n-deep as mine, I hope you'll let me know;

'Cause there's somethin' I'd rather do:

it's spend my Whole Life with You.

'But I don't wanna be

another Jackson Hole Memory,

We don't wanna be

another Jackson Hole Casualty;

With my faded-lasting gloves,

I'm the last love you will ever ever need---

But I don't wanna be

just another Jackson Hole Memory.

I don't wanna be

another Jackson Hole Memory . . . .

34 -- MIXIN' MISERY & SKIIN'

One of Gary's own personal favorites, this remake of

"Marina Del Rey" is a true story. The seagulls at the end of the George Strait classic years later inspired him to envision

"Ski Shores of Old Jackson Hole." From 1993, this love song illustrates the age-old idea that skiing is as good or better than sex:

Heinsian SKI-BOY-n-WESTERN MUSIC -- 35

Ski Area Del Rey

We said goodbye in Ski Area Del Rey---

"We skied a good line"

was the last thing I heard her say

as I walked away.

And, on the tram, back to Rendezvous Peak,

my mind comes across our memory,

and Powder Eights

in Ski Area Del Rey.

On the hidden steeps under a golden sun,

they spread a blanket that we skied down on

and carved the world away

in Ski Area Del Rey.

And, as we sunk into each other's lines,

we found our bodies lost in Paradise---

doin' Powder Eights

in Ski Area Del Rey.

Like the tram-car lines in Jackson Hole,

love sometimes comes n goes away

in Ski Area Del Rey.

And, as this tram-car's touchin' down,

tears touch my eyes for I have found

my heart has skied

in Ski Area Del Rey.

-------

On the hidden steeps under a golden sun,

they spread a blanket that we skied down on

and carved the world away

in Ski Area Del Rey.

And, as we sunk into each other's lines,

we found our bodies lost in Paradise---

doin' Powder Eights

in Ski Area Del Rey.

We skied a good line

in Ski Area Del Rey.

36 -- MIXIN' MISERY & SKIIN'

Here's "The Last Cheater's Waltz" skiboy style, "The Last Skier's Waltz," 1996. Maybe the Ski Patrol will post this one on ski-area boundary lines, to deter powder poachers from going out-of-bounds where they might not be able to get back, in this case because of a cliff-band. Gary tinkers about working with Ricky Van Shelton's "Statue Of a Fool"

for the same reason, but then that might be too gruesome for the families who've lost a member frozen to death wander-ing out-of-bounds---if he works with that song, it will be for preventative measures.

Heinsian SKI-BOY-n-WESTERN MUSIC -- 37

Last Skier's Waltz

We picked up his pieces

toward the valley floor---

He just had to ski here,

to ski just one more;

Those turns finally cost him,

the ultimate cost---

The cliff-band

played the Last Skier's Waltz.

And, oooooooh, don't he ski lonely;

and, oooooooh, don't he ski sad;

And, oooooooh, deep-powder only---

see the signs he ignored here,

And the cliff-band

played the Last Skier's Waltz.

He chose to ski powder,

where no one dared roam;

He told us he skied here

his best when alone;

The avalanche is all over,

and we know he's lost,

As the House Band

plays the Last Skier's Waltz.

And, oooooooh, don't he ski lonely;

and, oooooooh, don't he ski sad;

And, oooooooh, deep-powder only---

see the signs he ignored here,

And the House Band

plays the Last Skier's Waltz.

38 -- MIXIN' MISERY & SKIIN'

The real-estate business is kind a burr under Gary's saddle simply because the average ski instructor who doesn't see ski-teaching as the profession it should be . . . becomes a money-hungry real-estate agent in order to make the big score---there are probably more real-estate agents in the expensive ski-towns than any other profession. What sickens Gary: when these bums get their students in a ski lesson, they talk more about real-estate on the chair-lift than they do about skiing better. . . . Just when you thought George Strait's "Ocean-Front Property" in Arizona was far-fetched, listen to this one from 1996. Some Texans sure would like to believe it.

Heinsian SKI-BOY-n-WESTERN MUSIC -- 39

Ski-In-n-Out Property

If you don't ski, . . . I won't miss you;

and it don't bother me that . . .

You think I hafta ski, and I do it extremely,

'cause I don't have to---

Now, if you'll buy that, I got some . . .

ski-in-n-out property in Texas for ya:

From my front porch,

you can ski the steep---I got some . . .

ski-in-n-out property in Texas for ya---

If you'll buy that,

I'll throw the season pass in free.

I don't worship . . . the snow we ski down---

I never have, and that's a fact;

I don't follow . . . reports for new snow,

'cause I don't need to---

Now, if you'll buy that, I got some . . .

ski-in-n-out property in Texas for ya:

From my front porch,

you can ski the deep---I got some . . .

ski-in-n-out property in Texas for ya---

If you'll buy that,

I'll throw the season pass in free.

I got some . . .

ski-in-n-out property in Texas for ya:

From my front porch,

you can ski the steep---I got some . . .

ski-in-n-out property in Texas for ya---

If you'll buy that,

I'll throw the season pass in free.

Yeah, if you'll buy that,

I'll throw the season pass in free.

40 -- MIXIN' MISERY & SKIIN'

The sad thing about skiing bubbly virgin champagne powder is that it does not last forever. The economics of the ski business require that a ski instructor's turns earn their keep---packing snow and/or skiing with the dudes. Many untrue ski teachers teach skiing most reluctantly, wishing they could save the whole ski area for themselves. In any case, when enough skiers ski virgin powder and the ensuing crud long enough, moguls develop---and many skiers ar-guably agree these skier-formed bumps can be as obnoxious and un-fun as an abused bronc, requiring special instruction, even when the student is ready. Some think it would be nice to have nothing but virgin powder all the time: after all, as Gary puts it, the job of a skiboy is to pack virgin powder for summer irrigation of the ranch lands---and, when the work's all done, what fun is that? Well, skiing can be an addiction for many, not unlike alcohol---maybe, with the bumps head-ache to contend with the following day, this 1996 song is about a skier's hangover, if you will. The line about "some pretty young skiin'" is a nice touch, referring to new snow rather than young female flesh. Steamboat Springs should like this one, in the locker room anyway, where the beans can be spilled without the customers knowing everything.

Heinsian SKI-BOY-n-WESTERN MUSIC -- 41

Skiin' Champagne

I'm skiin' champagne, feelin' no pain,

till my group lesson,

Findin' and trashin'

all the virgin powder I can find:

I'm havin' a fling with some pretty young skiin'

till my group lesson,

Knowing, in an hour, I'll wake up

with students all in line.

Guilty conscience, I guess,

though I must confess

I couldn't ski as much without these dudes all in line.

So we'll all keep skiin' champagne, feelin' no pain

in my group lesson,

Findin' and trashin'

all the virgin powder we can find;

We're havin' a fling with some pretty young skiin'

in my group lesson,

Knowing tomorrow we'll wake up

with moguls on our mind.

-------

Guilty conscience, I guess,

though I must confess

I couldn't ski as much without these dudes all in line.

So we'll all keep skiin' champagne, feelin' no pain

in my group lesson,

Findin' and trashin'

all the virgin powder we can find;

We're havin' a fling with some pretty young skiin'

in my group lesson,

Knowing tomorrow we'll wake up

with moguls on our mind.

42 -- MIXIN' MISERY & SKIIN'

You might know a great classic about a guy who didn't stop loving a woman until he finally died, "He Stopped Loving Her Today." Well, here's a song about a guy who loved skiing as much as that George Jones character loved that woman. Written way back in 1982, this is probably Gary's first skiboy-n-western classic. "I remember singing it a-cappella," Gary recalls, "to fellow German instructor Christoph Shork on the chair at Park City---he told me

'That's beautiful,' and I knew I had something." . . . Actually, he had his friend Doug Coombs in mind when he wrote this, way before "Extreme Skiing" would become a Western term, but he wouldn't tell anyone until after Doug's death in 2006.

But Doug didn't die from the actual skiing; he died trying to save a friend from the actual extreme skiing. Gary's book The GREATEST SKI INSTRUCTOR In the West is about the difference between himself and the famous extreme skiers: ultimately, it wasn't Doug's skiing that got him killed; it was something else--- But World Champion Doug Coombs was truly the Greatest Extreme Skier.

Heinsian SKI-BOY-n-WESTERN MUSIC -- 43

He Stopped

Skiing Here That Day

He said, "I'll ski here till I die,"

they told him, "You'll get bored in time."

With the snow so deep n dry,

face-shots peyed upon his mind.

Hung ski posters on his wall,

went flat broke now and then;

But he still skied here through it all,

knowing it would snow again.

Kept his ski boots by his bed,

new in 19-82;

He wore underwear of red,

an old turtleneck of blue.

I went to ski with him that day;

oh, but he didn't ski 'nough turns:

All dressed up to ski away,

first time I'd seen him die in years---

He stopped skiin' here that day;

they placed his skis upon his door.

And soon they'll carry him away---

he stopped skiin' here that day.

You know, he has skied here his last time---

ah, we all wondered when he would;

And it kept runnin' through my mind:

this time, he's over it for good.

He stopped skiin' here that day;

they placed his skis upon his door.

And soon they'll carry him away---

he stopped skiin' here that day.

44 -- MIXIN' MISERY & SKIIN'

Here's a snappy song, about skiing being the true dangerous ranch chore that it is in Gary's mind. Having the most continuous vertical feet in North America, over four-thousand-feet---oh, Blackcomb and Big Sky might have more vertical, but it's not continuous, nor as steep,---Jackson Hole has always been considered "The Big One," the same title as the 1994 George Strait song referring to the Big Quake or a Big Heart Attack. This expert skier has finally found his soul-mate, and she's all mountain.

Heinsian SKI-BOY-n-WESTERN MUSIC -- 45

We Skied The Big One

Was just this mornin', down Rendezvous Bowl, My lungs ached, and my thighs weren't cold:

This is The Big One---there's no steeper runs.

Packin' snow here for the Swingin' G Ranch, You need to know when there's no avalanche.

This is The Big One---I'm fallin' in love.

Now it's deep, deep, deep---

My Harts're bendin' out a message:

Steep, Steep, Steep means turn left-n-right; SSS, in this situation, means Skiin' Such a Site.

No need to panic, I tell myself,

But I've never felt this feelin' skiin' anywhere else---Oh!

This is The Big One---I'm fallin' in love.

Now it's deep, deep, deep---

My Harts're bendin' out a message:

Steep, Steep, Steep means turn left-n-right; SSS, in this situation, means Skiin' Such a Site.

No need to panic, I tell myself,

But I've never felt this feelin' skiin' anywhere else---Oh!

This is The Big One---I'm fallin' in love.

This is The Big One---oops,

I just touched a glove.

46 -- MIXIN' MISERY & SKIIN'

The trouble with paradise is that everybody brags about it, word gets out, and everybody else and their brother moves there to spoil the beauty---that's what's happened to some major ski areas, and the ski instructors are just as much to blame as anybody. Probably the saddest song, a 1996

parody of "Tennessee Waltz," this song laments what happens when you make your skiing paradise too accessible to the masses, or rather too appetizing for the worldly affluent.

"When I was giving them great lessons in past years," says Gary, "little did I know they would move in and take over and financially drive me out. Oh, well, my books will sell, and then I'll be back on my own turns---er, terms."

Heinsian SKI-BOY-n-WESTERN MUSIC -- 47

Black-Diamond Waltz

I was teachin' a group lesson,

the Black-Diamond Waltz,

to some new friends just learning to ski; I introduced them to a virgin,

and, after our lesson,

my friends stole the steep-part from me.

I remember the plight

of the Black-Diamond Waltz---

and regret all the turns that I've lost;

Yes, I lost my powder virgin

after my teachin'

the beautiful Black-Diamond Waltz.

-------

I was teachin' a group lesson,

the Black-Diamond Waltz,

to some new friends just learning to ski; I introduced them to a virgin,

and, after our lesson,

my friends stole the steep-part from me.

I remember the plight

of the Black-Diamond Waltz---

and regret all the turns that I've lost;

Yes, I lost my powder virgin

because of my teachin'

the beautiful Black-Diamond Waltz.

Oh, the beautiful Black-Diamond Waltz.

Yes, I lost my powder virgin

because of my teachin'

the beautiful Black-Diamond Waltz.

Oh, the beautiful Black-Diamond Waltz.

48 -- MIXIN' MISERY & SKIIN'

Gary was tickled pink when he discovered this rewrite, immediately after the stem song came out; April of 1997---

George Strait's "One Night At a Time" inspired this song.

Depicting a perfect ski lesson where a new run gets difficult, but the snow and turn stay familiar, this song really fits the whole premise of Gary's Heinsian DOWNHILL SKIING manual One Good Turn Deserves Another.

Heinsian SKI-BOY-n-WESTERN MUSIC -- 49

One Turn At a Time

We both yelled "Single," Baby, in the lift line; Now we're skiin' The Big One, and it sure is fine---

Let's ski this run . . . One Turn At a Time.

There's one thing that'll make it easy:

I'll ski like you, and, Baby, you ski like me---

Let's ski this run . . . One Turn At a Time.

All right, let's ski it right---

this powder is perfect, gonna get it right,

Turnin' left-n-right, One Turn At a Time.

All right, let's ski it right---

this powder is perfect, gonna get it right,

Turnin' left-n-right, One Turn At a Time

Oh, I skied without you way too long,

You're skiin' so good it cain't be wrong---

We'll get your skis un-crossed

before . . . you . . . fall . . . down.

If we fall, well, there's another way:

Come on, Baby, now whadaya say?

Let's ski this run . . . One Turn At a Time.

All right, let's ski it right---

this powder is perfect, gonna get it right,

Turnin' left-n-right, One Turn At a Time.

Oh, I skied without you way too long,

You're skiin' so good it cain't be wrong---

We'll get your skis un-crossed

before . . . you . . . fall . . . down.

All right, let's ski it right---

this powder is perfect, gonna get it right,

Turnin' left-n-right, One Turn At a Time.

All right, let's ski it right---

this powder is perfect, gonna get it right,

Turnin' left-n-right, One Turn At a Time.

50 -- MIXIN' MISERY & SKIIN'

Here's another one that would be impossible to recog-nize by the titles alone---Gary's Commercial Poetic License sure comes in handy to get the job done. Where would skiboy-n-western music be without a song about dangerous Double-Black-Diamond ski runs?---these are the most difficult ski-runs barely open to the public. This is basically Extreme Skiing without necessarily the five-hundred foot cliffs lurking below, or, in some cases, what Gary calls Severe Skiing. A remake of Hank Thompson's "Hangover Tavern,"

this 1996 song implies that, by skiing double-black-diamonds, your skiing either improves suddenly, or you die.

But the dividend is that the skiing in these places is usually the best snow because of the shadowed steep-n-narrow chutes facing North where the snow stays soft and dry and skier traffic stays light---the only skiers who tend to go to these places are skiers with finesse, so any possible moguls don't get obnoxious either.

Heinsian SKI-BOY-n-WESTERN MUSIC -- 51

Double-Black-Diamond

Oh, Lordy, me, I'm skiin' so bad this mornin', a-but I won't be skiin' bad too long---

I'm headed for a Double-Black-Diamond.

This snow is heavy, the ski-lift kinda low;

and, every time the skiin's this way, to-a

Double Black-Diamond I go.

Well, this run I'm a-talkin' about

'sNorth straight down

to keep the sunshine out;

The skiin's so bad, so don't mess up---

a good Chair-Tender chairs you up.

Singin':

Hey, Lordy, me, if you're skiin' bad this mornin',

then watch your Blues just fade away

on-a Double-Black-Diamond today.

Oh, Lordy, me, when I rode up this mornin',

I just had to make my way

on down a Double-Black-Diamond---

The powder's dry, enough to satisfy,

and there ain't too much company

on-a Double-Black-Diamond for me.

Ah, the skiin's just right, it's easy to unweight,

but most people plant their pole too late; I just cain't for the very first round---

tell the men to turn the snow-cats down.

'Cause:

Hey, Lordy, me, I was skiin' bad this mornin'; but I ski my Blues away

on-a Double-Black-Diamond today.

Double-Black-Diamond, here I come.

52 -- MIXIN' MISERY & SKIIN'

Like "One Turn At a Time," here's another song that is closely to related to Gary's Heinsian DOWNHILL SKIING

manual, One Good Turn Deserves Another, and his brilliant overall system for teaching people from beginner to expert.

A high percentage of advanced skiers in-fact are afraid of powder, even on intermediate terrain, because they are too often introduced to it wrong by themselves or their well-meaning friends or incompetent instructors---and they get unnerved when they can't see their skis anymore. "I even had a pretty-much-expert teen-age racer from Back East one time," Gary says, "who was afraid of powder---she had no idea she could already ski it! and she must have been shell-shocked from her previous coaching." Gary feels about other ski books the way George Bernard Shaw feels: "The road to ignorance is paved with good editions." This song describes Gary's gentle way about getting someone loving powder in no time: if it's steep-enough, it helps to get One Good C-shaped Turn each way a few times before you strive for a bunch of S's linked together; and, if it's not steep enough, just play with the edge-angles ever-so-slightly as you don't worry about sharp-turning or speed-control, just getting a feel for the stuff first. When going into powder,"

says Gary, "you don't want to act like hyperactive Kramer on Seinfeld, with all those sudden moves; just relax and learn to feel it." The whole song is in bold print because basically the whole song is the meat of a powder lesson. You won't find a ski-racing coach as gentle as a true instructor like Gary: whereas race coaches tend to work hard-core only with good skiers to begin with, a good ski instructor gently helps everyone at their own level---the first line says it all, and any misery or heartache in this song belongs to previous instructors or coaches. . . . It was years before Gary found that he could rewrite a Ray Price song, but, once he figured it out, it was obvious. From Christmas 2010, not near as sad as Chris Christopherson's "For the Good Times," the tearns here are tearns of joy, not sadness.

Heinsian SKI-BOY-n-WESTERN MUSIC -- 53

For the Good Turns

Don't look so sad, . . . I know it's Powder; But we'll ski down, . . . and this old girl

will keep on turning:

Let's just be smart, . . . and take our time

and safely get there---

There's no need . . . to watch the edges

that we're turning:

Lay your edge . . . deep-in this pillow;

Hold your warm . . . and limber body

just like mine;

The deflection . . . of the ski tips

carving strong . . . beneath the soft snow---

And wake-believe you can ski

One Good Turn

---For the Good TurnS.

We'll get along, . . . we'll try another; And I'll be here

if you should find . . . you ever need me.

Don't ski a turn

without some angles . . . or some pressure---

There'll be time enough for S's

when you leave me:

Lay your edge . . . deep-in this pillow;

Hold your warm . . . and limber body

just like mine;

The deflection . . . of the ski tips

carving strong beneath the soft snow---

And wake-believe you can ski

One Good Turn

---For the Good TurnS.

54 -- MIXIN' MISERY & SKIIN'

Many a young ski instructor has a big ego . . . and the notion that no one can ski without a great ski teacher expounding everything he knows all day long. Even a seasoned ski teacher who understands that a student skiing totally independent is the main goal anyhow---well, he can still get jealous, or possessive, just like a Mom whose son leaves home for the first time. . . . Now, if we can find someone with a voice like Pam Tillis, who can sing this 1996

remake of "You Can't Have a Good Time Without Me."

Maybe Gary will get around to rewriting Vince Gill's song

"Don't Come Cryin' To Me" with a similar idea in mind.

Heinsian SKI-BOY-n-WESTERN MUSIC -- 55

You Can't Make a Good Turn

Without Me

You say you don't need lessons, Darlin'---

I know you do and always will need.

I saw you up above, pretendin' you could carve---

ah, but that don't mean nothin' to me;

'Cause, as you skied by, that fear in your eye

showed me where your edge is secretly.

Guess I'll be teachin' you in the middle of the Blues---

You can't make A Good Turn without me.

You can't make A Good Turn without me;

you're gonna need me, or you'll ski sorry;

You're gonna need me if you'll learn to ski---

You can't make A Good Turn without me.

I remember those steep-runs with you, Dear,

when I taught you all by myself---

Now those runs are gone, but our tracks still linger down

you won't find with anyone else;

Ah, you may carve one good smile, fool yourself awhile, but your Harts and your mind will disagree;

So I'll be teachin' you in-the-middle of the Blues---

You can't make A Good Turn without me.

You can't make A Good Turn without me;

you're gonna need me, or you'll ski sorry;

You're gonna need me if you'll learn to ski---

You can't make A Good Turn without me.

You can't make A Good Turn without me;

you're gonna need me, or you'll ski sorry;

You're gonna need me if you'll learn to ski---

You can't make A Good Turn without me.

You can't make A Good Turn---you can't ski no steep-runs No, you can't make A Good Turn without me.

56 -- MIXIN' MISERY & SKIIN'

Every skier finds himself standing in the chair-lift maze, at one time or another, wondering who they're going to ride up with, almost like walking into a busy dance hall that's fresh out of empty tables, as in George Strait's song "The Chair." I know, I know, a lot of chair-lifts now are high-speed quads or triples; but don't let anybody kid you: the old fashioned double-chair is probably still the best chair in many cases. And Gary isn't the first guy to ditch a male friend in order to meet a pretty ski-girl. From 1996:

Heinsian SKI-BOY-n-WESTERN MUSIC -- 57

The Chair-Lift

Well, excuse me, but

are you single up there?

No, I'm not taken---I don't have

any friends skiing here---

I'd be glad to share.

Yeah, it's usually packed here in

the lift lines;

Oh, if you don't mind,

could I talk with you on this ride?

Well, thank you---would you

like to switch sides?

---Oh, listen to me---

What I mean is: Can I do anything?

anything you please.

Oh, you're welcome,

but I don't think I

caught your name;

Are you waiting for someone

to ski with you here?

---That makes two of us

Glad you're game.

No, I don't know the names of the runs,

but they're good---aren't they?

---It's such a great range;

Yeah, I like this run too,

it reminds me of you

and me, Baby---

Do you think there's a chance

that, later on,

I could ski you down?

---No, I don't mind at all.

Oh, I like you too; and,

to tell you the truth,

I wasn't sin-gle after all.

Oh, I like you too; and,

to tell you the truth,

I wasn't sin-gle after all.

58 -- MIXIN' MISERY & SKIIN'

Of the three basic skills for skiing with balance-in-motion, edging is maybe the most talked about in advanced ski lessons: it deals with getting the proper ski angle, for grip-ping and carving turns, via angles in the hips and other parts of the skier's body---not that skidding is no good when you need it. A remake of George Strait's "A Little Heaven's Rubbin' Off On Me," written for a 1991 ski school party:

Heinsian SKI-BOY-n-WESTERN MUSIC -- 59

A Little Edgin's

Rubbin' Off On Me

I used-to-like fallin' down and then gettin' up and never having to explain;

I've always skied free, I never could see me diggin' in for a turn.

I'd like skiddin' around, makin' carved turns never was my cup-o-tea---

But, since I been holdin' some angles,

a little edgin's rubbin' off on me.

And I'm beginnin' to like

just skiin' with quiet hands;

Lookin' into my lines,

I'm thinkin' 'bout future turns.

And then I get the feelin'

that the lines that I been skiin'

ain't all there cracked up to be---

Since I been holdin' some angles,

a little edgin's rubbin' off on me.

I used to like to spend my life

skiin' anywhere but in Ski School,

Thinkin' I was skiin' fine

with all of those other fools;

But, since you taught my hands,

I think I understand

It ain't the way we oughta ski---

Since I been holdin' some angles,

a little edgin's rubbin' off on me.

And I'm beginnin' to like

just skiin' with quiet hands; . . .

60 -- MIXIN' MISERY & SKIIN'

A problem with many teacher/student relationships is that the student becomes too dependent on the teacher---

sometimes it's the teacher's fault, sometimes the student's. A 1993 remake of Bob Wills's "I Wish I Felt This Way At Home," here's a sad song from a student's point of view.

Heinsian SKI-BOY-n-WESTERN MUSIC -- 61

I Wish

I Skied This Way Alone

If I could ski with you forever,

my reckless Harts

would never do me wrong;

I've never been taught

the way you taught me---

I wish I skied this way alone.

When you ski with me,

I can turn without skiddin'---

I don't believe that God

would call this wrong;

Your turns are the refuge

I been seekin'---

I wish I skied this way alone.

But I don't, and I won't---

I tried all that I could;