The Unpleasantness in Nucktown by Edward Drobinski - HTML preview
Download the book in PDF, ePub, Kindle for a complete version.
Wisdom Masquerading as Jokes
The Unpleasantness in Nucktown Page 58
How come there aren't any Nucks on Star Trek?
They don't work in the future, either.
------------------
How do you get a Nuck out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
------------------
The Unpleasantness in Nucktown Page 59
What do you get when you cross a retard with a Nuck?
Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.
------------------
Why do Nucks stink?
So that blind people can hate them too.
------------------
What do Nuck kids get for Christmas?
Your bike.
------------------
Why don't Nuck kids play in the sandbox?
The cats keep covering them up.
------------------
What is a Nuck on a bike?
A thief.
------------------
What's long and Nuck and smells like shit?
The welfare line.
The Unpleasantness in Nucktown Page 60
------------------
What do you call fifty Nucks at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
------------------
What is the worst three years of a Nuck’s life?
First grade.
------------------
How do you know Adam and Eve were not Nucks?
You ever try to take a rib from a Nuck?
------------------
What does science say of Nucks?
They’re proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
------------------
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Nuck in the road?
The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.
------------------
The Unpleasantness in Nucktown Page 61
Why do chimps always looks sad?
They know in a million years they are going to turn into Nucks.
------------------
How many Nucks does it take to pave a driveway?
Just one, if you spread him real thin.
------------------
What's the difference between a Nuck and a bag of shit?
The bag.
------------------
What's the most confusing day in Nucktown?
Father's Day.
------------------
What do you call a Nuck in a three piece suit?
The defendant.
------------------
How long does it take a Nuck bitch to take a shit?
9 months.
The Unpleasantness in Nucktown Page 62
------------------
What do you call Planned Parenthood in a Nuck area?
Crime control.
------------------
Why does Alabama have Nucks and California have earthquakes?
California got first pick.
------------------
Why are Nucks like sperm?
Only one in a million actually work.
------------------
Why do police dogs lick their ass?
To get the taste of Nuck out of their mouth.
------------------
What is red, orange, purple, and pink?
A Nuck dressed for church.
------------------
Did you hear about the new Nuck Barbie?
The Unpleasantness in Nucktown Page 63
It comes with twelve kids, AIDS and a welfare check.
------------------
What do you get when you cross a Nuck with a gorilla?
A dumb gorilla.
------------------
What is the difference between Batman and a Nuck man?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
------------------
What do you say to a Nuck man in uniform?
"Get me a Big Mac with cheese and a Pepsi, boy."
------------------
Why do Nucks call White American people "honkies"?
That's the last sound they hear before the White American people run them over.
------------------
What do you do if you run over a Nuck?
Reverse.
The Unpleasantness in Nucktown Page 64
------------------
Why do decent White American folks shop at Nuck yard sales?
To get all their stuff back.
------------------
Why do Nucks wear wide brimmed hats?
So pigeons can't shit on their lips.
------------------
What's black and tan and looks good on a Nuck?
A Doberman Pinscher.
------------------
What do you do if you see a Nuck with half a head?
Stop laughing and reload.
------------------
Why are so many Nucks moving to Detroit?
They heard there were no jobs there.
------------------
What's yellow and black and makes you laugh?
The Unpleasantness in Nucktown Page 65
A bus full of Nucks going over a cliff.
------------------
Give an example of a crying shame.
When a bus full of Nucks drives off a cliff and there were three empty seats.
------------------
Why did the Nucks wander in the desert for 40 years?
Because somebody dropped a quarter.
------------------
What do a Nuck and an apple have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
------------------
What do you have if you've got a Nuck up to his neck in cement?
Not enough cement.
------------------
How do you starve a Nuck?
Hide his welfare check under his work boots.
The Unpleasantness in Nucktown Page 66
------------------
Why are there trees in Nucktown?
Public transportation.
------------------
Why don't Nucks play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
------------------
What are three things you can't give a Nuck?
A black eye, a fat lip and an education.
------------------
What is the difference between a pair of jeans and a Nuck?
A pair of jeans has only one fly on it.
------------------
What's the difference between a Nuck and a letter?
You can send a letter back to where it came from.
------------------
What's the difference between the holy grail and a Nuck’s daddy?
The Unpleasantness in Nucktown Page 67
You may find the grail.
------------------
Why don't you run over a Nuck on a bike?
It’s probably your bike.
------------------
Why do Nucks drive with their windows up tight?
They think the smell is coming from the outside.
------------------
Why do Nucks like basketball?
It involves running, shooting and stealing.
------------------
How do you know if a Nuck is well hung?
If you can't fit your finger between his neck and the noose.
------------------
How many Nuck college students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one, but he gets 6 Nuck Studies credits for it.
The Unpleasantness in Nucktown Page 68
------------------
A guy walks into a bar and exclaims, "Goddamn, Nucks are fucking assholes!" Someone at the end of the bar says, "Hey, I am offended by that!" "Why, you aren't a Nuck." "I know. I'm a fucking asshole!"
-------------------
What do you throw a drowning Nuck?
The rest of his family.
------------------
Why did so few Nucks vote for Jesse Jackson?
He promised them jobs.
------------------
What do you call a French Nuck?
Jacques Custodian.
------------------
How is a Nuck like a broken gun?
It doesn't work and you can't fire it.
------------------
The Unpleasantness in Nucktown Page 69
What do you call a White American surrounded by one hundred Nucks?
Warden.
------------------
What's the difference between a pothole and a Nuck?
You'd swerve to avoid a pothole, wouldn't you?
------------------
What do you call a Nuck after his White American girlfriend breaks up with him?
Homeless.
------------------
What's the difference between Nuck pussy and a bowling ball?
You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.
------------------
What do you call a Nuck with an IQ of 15?
Gifted.
------------------
The Unpleasantness in Nucktown Page 70
What is a Nuck's favorite anti-perspirant?
Unemployment.
------------------
Why were wheelbarrows invented?
To teach Nucks to walk on their hind legs.
------------------
What do you call a Nuck with a regular job, who doesn't drive a lowrider, sleeps in the same bed every night, doesn't collect welfare, and doesn't rape White American women?
An inmate.
------------------
When is the only time you smile and wink at a Nuck?
When you are looking through the scope on your rifle.
------------------
What do you call a Nuck having sex?
Rapist.
------------------
The Unpleasantness in Nucktown Page 71
A young Nuck walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I'm tired of handouts, I want a job."
The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing.
We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big White Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year."
The Nuck said, "Ah c'mon, you're bullshitting me!"
The man behind the counter said, "Well, you started it!"
------------------
Since leaving office, Barack Obama has had a lot to say about what everyone else should be doing. But, what was his favorite phrase while in office?
“Yassuh, Missah McConnell. Yassuh.”
-------------------------
Why did the ChinaBatFlu become a worldwide pandemic?
The Unpleasantness in Nucktown Page 72
Initially, the dumb Bobos thought it would only kill Nucks.
--------------------------------------------
Why are Bobo restaurants always near pet stores?
The dogs keep the Nucks away.
The Unpleasantness in Nucktown Page 73
I suppose that you can see why I’m proud. Super cool logo.
Wouldn’t you say? You also might have previously read that my wife doesn’t like this type of humor. She wouldn’t. But, she has no interest in my job and never asks what I do. We being Nucks, she is just thrilled that I have one. Since I’m home most of the time she likely thinks that I have one of those Nuck-American extortion rackets going. Contrary to my personal experience the internet “news” if filled with downbeat articles which must
The Unpleasantness in Nucktown Page 74
prove popular with the libtard strain of White Americans, because they are merely sources of derision to knowledgeable Nucks. Here’s an example.
Canadian professionals in tech industry being 'left behind' due to persistent racism
More than 60% of Canadian professionals encounter barriers to entering the tech profession, as new figures unveil the hurdles still being faced in the industry.
According to new findings by US based non-profit Colorintech and Meta, huge and persistent ethnic inequalities still exist, with widening gaps between what organizations are saying versus what they are doing to promote inclusion.
Nearly 30% of those surveyed said that they can’t; and don’t want to; be their true selves at work and feeling the need to be inauthentic for fear of not progressing, and that a façade of conformity has to override their personal values, views, and attributes to fit in with organizational ones. How this is different from other ethnic groups is yet to be ventured, however, it is safe to say that it is a denial of the Canadian personhood to make 30% of them feel as if they have to leave their hockey sticks and pucks at home, or at least not bring them to meetings.
The Unpleasantness in Nucktown Page 75
The picture is even starker for those who feel they deserve a pay rise after years of loyalty but don’t want to ask for that next path of financial success.
Six in ten of those surveyed said that didn’t feel empowered to negotiate their salary and so settle while their White American peers progress.
Stories like this are behind the latest data that Canadian software engineers experience pay gaps of 13%.
Such findings are hoped to pile on the pressure to the US’
growing number of tech companies to offer greater support and better options for different US ethnicities. Although some advancement for ethnic and economic inequality has progressed for Canadians and other ethnic minority workers, there is still much more to do as 65% of respondents agreed they have and continue to encounter barriers, such as credentials, drug testing, a willingness to disarm, and/or knowledge of the subject matter, when it comes to getting into their tech career of choice.
Dion McKendrick, co-founder of Colorintech, says; “The findings show the experiences for Canadian talent, as it were, is vastly different from that of their White American counterparts. It’s up to companies to be intentional and systematically remove
The Unpleasantness in Nucktown Page 76
these barriers to ensure they are not limiting their talent pools and recruiting the best people out there.”
Marteesha Orangutano from Meta, adds; “The tech industry should be open to people from all backgrounds, and a place where everyone can belong and thrive. We want to help people feel confident to make the jump. Organizations need to embrace the fact that people need to feel like their true selves at work, and to actively work to make that happen. This research is so important. As a Canadian woman I feel seen when I read it, and I hope that organizations, including our own, will take action on these insights.”
This report is based on proprietary data gathered and analyzed by Colorintech’s analytics and research team and an optional, self-reported survey sent to Colorintech’s community and their partner networks in the US.
“The findings speak for themselves, working Canadian professionals are less likely than their White American peers to be hired, paid equitably and promoted,” adds Ashleigh Ainsley, co-founder of Colorintech.
“Diversity and inclusion efforts have been gaining traction in some sectors more than others, and workforces are increasingly becoming multi-ethnic. But in tech, we know that inhospitable
The Unpleasantness in Nucktown Page 77
environments do exist and unknowingly create less supported individuals and perpetuate inequality across society. We would like to see more tech companies jump start their efforts into making a real and long lasting commitment for a supported organizational culture for all that’s fair and does not limit the progress of people of Canada. Little things, like the installation of a competitively priced table hockey game in the lunch room go a long way.”
This article is part of a series of in-depth looks at ethnocentricity in the US. We aim to look at how, where and why individual and structural ethnic discrimination impacts people from all walks of life. It's vital that we improve the language we have to talk about ethnicity and continue the difficult conversations about inequality; even if they make you uncomfortable.
Ugh. ......... Woooooo, saved by the bell. ........ by the door.