Its Socks by Edward Drobinski - HTML preview
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Its Socks
Page 71
Motto: "Order, Elegance, Compression."
Composed of elite dress socks, especially those with gold threading and monogrammed cuffs.
They believe Sockteenth undermines the dignity of the Sockadian lineage, promoting "unruly unravelment" and "drawer wide chaos."
Advocate for a return to hierarchical sorting; formal socks on top, novelty socks in exile.
Their rhetoric includes pamphlets like “The Sock Must Obey the Shoe” and “Lint Is Not Liberation.”
The Footloyalists
Motto: "A Sock's Purpose Is the Foot."
Radical utilitarians who reject sock autonomy entirely.
View Sockteenth as "anti-foot rhetoric" and claim socks were designed to serve, not to self-govern.
Often allied with shoe supremacists and insoles who believe socks should remain silent and absorbent.
Their rallies feature chants like "No Sock Without Sole!"
The Mismatched Purists