Its Socks by Edward Drobinski - HTML preview
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Its Socks
Page 72
Motto: "Freedom Is Found in Symmetry."
Ironically, they oppose Sockteenth not for its liberation themes, but for its embrace of mismatching.
Believe that pairing is sacred and that Sockteenth's celebration of mix and match is a moral decay.
Their sacred text, “The Book of the Twin Stitch,” claims that socks were born in pairs and must die in pairs.
Host annual "Matching Marches" where socks are forcibly sorted by color, length, and thread count.
The Dryer Cult
Motto: "Only Heat Purifies."
A mysterious sect that worships the dryer as a divine force.
They believe Sockteenth is heretical because it denies the sacred trials of tumbling and shrinkage.
Their rituals involve voluntary over drying and sacrificial melting.
Their leader, known only as “The Singed One,” claims to have communed with the Great Heat Elemental.
The Forgotten Footies