I am the book keeper by D.A.Sanford - HTML preview

A moment in time, an impulse taken can be a decision that changes the way you go in your life. Taking a different road away from the way you thought you were in. Here is a man who was mondain. A simple man who gave into opportunity

Voice of the ordinary

I was a driver for a remote radio feed. We had the reporter and the tech guy. The reporter just dropped the mic and walked off. Evidently the main base people had turned over the feed to us. The tech guy told me to take the mic. I did.

I had been told that I did have a voice for radio. One of those rich deep voices. A comforting voice so I did.

“Good morning. This is Dan. Our reporter has left us so I am filling in. Today, I just want to talk about nothing . When I say nothing, I mean no current events, no controversies, no politics. Just some funny things, strange things. I guess I would say human things.

I’ll give you an example. When I was young, preteen, I did something very stupid. There was a pre parade gathering in the park. We lived on the opposite side of the street. My brain was only fixed on that gathering. You see, in those days they had street vendors who sold trinkets at these parades. My eyes were fixed on those. I ran across the street and all I heard was the screeching of tires. I kept on going but today I think there must be another world where I was hit.”

That is all I got out because the tech told me that we were cut off. A manager pulls up and in an enraged voice demanded to know who that was. I told him that it was me. He fired us both on the spot. He had someone with him to drive the unit back.

Later in the day, I got a phone call from another radio station wanting me to join them. They loved the idea of a nonpolitical, noncontroversial, just having casual conversations about being human.

I took the job since I was unemployed. This time from a studio. I introduced myself as Dan. Human. “I introduce myself that way because I am human. I have many flaws and I am proud to admit that. I’m sure that some of you heard me just jump in on the air after a reporter walked off. I was cut off and fired. You see I was their driver.

I have a program that is long overdue. Upfront, I have a button here. My tech will put you on hold and I will answer in the order. We will not screen topics but know this, current events, politics, world events and especially the blame others game, I will just cut you off and say next. This show is for those of us that live by the two rules.

First, life is too short to take it seriously and second is live everyday as if it was your last. One day you will be right.

Let’s try to enjoy each other. Learn from each other and cry with each other. In so many words I want to talk about us. We humans are such a complex being when we do not need to be. We try to make everything more complicated than it needs to be.

I’ll start out his first show with a topic. Why do the food companies have to put on the instructions, first remove from box before heating. This is a human show. When you call first tell me if you have put something in the oven without taking it out of the box first. Like I said, we are human.”

I talk for a while and soon there was one call.

The caller says that his son did just that but in the microwave. “The chicken strips were moist not rubbery. I tried it and it was like he said.” He did warn that you needed to be right there or the box would burn. We talked about it but he started to go into what the school was teaching them.

I cut him off. “Folks understand why I cut him off. When you start blaming others like the school, you are making your life more complicated. You, not the food companies should say to that child, What are you thinking? And then tell them that the microwave can burn paper.”

The board lit up. People were calling in with their tales of being human. Tips and stories. A lot of embarrassing things that they now say that they should be dead. By the way, by the end of the show, only that first one needed to be told to remove from box.

The station manager came in after we were off the air. “I have never had so much fun listening to you. You were fair but stuck to the premise of the show. The advice you gave was wonderful and you kept the callers engaged. Good work, see you tomorrow.”

The show became very popular. Thing is that some people were deliberately trying to get political. When I cut them off, quite a few of them went to other radio shows telling the audience how terrible I was. I got that strange feeling and talked with the boss.

He got slightly mad and told me not to bring things like that when he was taking a drink of coffee. “I could have choked! That is the best idea that I have ever heard. The next day, I was on the air and I asked the listeners to do just that. I called the other station that had harsh words about me. My rejected callers somehow always called his show.

I had to give his screener my name and what I wanted to talk about. I told him that I was Rodger and had some very interesting things to say about Dan’s show. I found that I was going to be the next caller.

That host told his listeners, “Next caller we have Rodger. Rodger what do you have for us today.?”

I have something I found from Dan’s show that only you can answer.”

What would that be?”

“Do you microwave in the box?” then I hear him gag. “Hi this is Dan. Can you tell me exactly what you find offensive about my format of no politics or other current headline news. All my show is about is for”

With that, I was cut off, but my tech recorded what he said. He told his audience that my show violated the freedom of speech of all citizens and should be dropped. We played his response and then I told my audience that “Isn’t that exactly what he did? Now enough of that. I bet he microwaves in the box. After all he is only human.”

The evening news had been swamped with callers about just that. They called me and I told them that all I am doing is having a show that is about people, not politics, not the end of civilization as we know it. “People need a break from being told what to think and who your real friends should be. Because of hosts and news people like him, there are family gatherings that some family members will not go to because one of their siblings or parents support something they feel is evil. My show is just for humans.”

I said more and when they showed it, they talked to my manager. “The station whole hardily endorse the show and will keep the same format. Our ratings show that people want this type of show.”

That news reporter told the audience that they contacted that host and the station. They were told that they had no comment.

The next weeks ratings for my show went through the roof. Sponsors were begging for slots. That other radio station was found, by the FCC, that the radio station’s employees were the ones trying to get those subjects on the air to sabotage my show.

It turns out that the other station was owned by that station who fired me. Their reputation tanked, sponsors were lost

Over the years, my show was imitated. Mine soared peaked and after many long years, tastes change. New generations want to hear the views they were indoctrinated to by their generations environment. I said my final good bye and signed off.

It was a good run but my fame had waned. There was no room for me anymore. I still am happy.

This one is on the ordinary shelf but it still attracted me. He lived by not being caught up in terror and fear. He let people feel good about just being human. His picture at the end is him smiling as he sits behind his mic.

I put the book back on that dusty shelf but I do remember all of these books.