SIXTY SEVEN
As the days progressed, work took up all of Maya's time. She was too busy to think about anything else.
She got a call from an unknown number.
“Have you decided anything?” It was Kartik.
“How are you?” she managed to ask.
“I'm fine. What about you?” His voice was bland.
He couldn't care less, she thought.
''I'm fine too!”
“Didn't you get the papers? I sent those weeks ago!”
She had received them, but had not done anything about it.
“Alright. I'll look at them and call you,” she said, putting the phone down.
When she went home that day, she stood in front of the mirror. She looked at herself. She felt she looked older than she was. There were small wrinkles appearing on the sides of her eyes. Her eyes had lost their sparkle.
She wondered if leaving Delhi and coming to Mumbai was a mistake. If staying with Kartik and being little more patient would have helped.
The phone rang.
“I just landed in Mumbai,” said Vikram.
“Why don't you tell me beforehand? You always surprise me!”
“You don't like being surprised?”
“I do. If it's by you.”
“What about dinner?” he asked.
“Come home. You haven't seen my new house,” she said.
She had a shower and decided to order dinner.
An hour later Vikram arrived, neat and attractive as ever.
She hugged him impulsively.
“So people have started recognising you through your magazine now?” It was more of a comment than a question.
“True. In fact I am even done with the book I was writing. It should be ready to get published soon.” “How are things going with Kartik?” he asked.
“He's sent me the divorce papers,” she responded. “We are done with it.” He could see the sun setting from her window. “Sun set looks beautiful,” he said.
“Vikram, Why is it that I feel sad whenever I think about my divorce. I don't have any intention of going back.” Vikram Smiled.
“It's very simple. I will tell you about one of my clients. She is a beautiful and independent lady who decided to dump her husband. She filed in for a divorce. She felt wonderful and confident. Her husband though came back and pleaded to her for forgiveness. He didn't want her to go away. She gave in and decided to go back to him. It was fine till the time where he went back to his old ways. This time he decided to leave her. She came back to me devastated. The same woman who was herself convinced that there was nothing left in the relationship was now feeling shattered. Psychologists call this a fantasy bond. At times both the parties are tired doing ugly things to each other. Yet the one who decides to leave first makes the other person feel terrible. She wasn't worried about her husband. The fantasy bond broke. The feeling of stability. The social image, the false pretension of everything being all right superficially. The fear of being left alone. That fear is the language of the world. The heart has no fear. If the heart would have been fearful people would have never gone out of their way to do illogical things. True winners have always been people who have listened to the heart and abandoned fear of unknown.”
“Don't try to control your life Maya,” he went on. “The problem is we all want to control our lives. We have to surrender to the life force. Let it take its course. You know we human beings feel we know it all. We need to understand that there are things out of our control. Don't take life too seriously. The wisest thing is to just let it be.” “Is it as easy as that?” she wondered, aloud.
“It's not difficult. The point is that we are not just brother, sister, father, spouse, son, daughter, employee, neighbour, colleague, acquaintance. These are roles we carry out. But playing a role is only one aspect of our life. We exist as individuals, remember that. We want to be happy. We owe it to ourselves to be happy!” “What's the end?” she asked.
'There's no end. Every passing moment is the gateway to the next one that is emerging. Learn to flow with the moment. If we keep holding past moments the new ones will have nothing to teach us,” he said. His hand slid down to the nape of her neck. She kept her head on his lap. He was caressing her shoulder and her neck. It was comforting for her. “Live in this moment and let go off your burden.” Dinner was delivered.