SIXTY SIX
“Hi, I missed you,” Nimesh hugged her as Maya came out of the airport.
She hugged him back.
“There was no need to pick me up. I would have come on my own,” she said.
“How unromantic is that? He took her bag from her. “Let me carry it.”
They walked towards his car. “You know I have almost finished the book.”
“In three days?” she smiled
“Yeah. Since you were not there I thought I might as well utilize the time,” he said.
“I've got a small gift for you,” she smiled.
“I'm glad you remembered me.”
“Why don't you take me seriously? While you were away I just could not think of anything else but you,” he said.
“You know I am serious about someone else, right?”
There was silence. She looked out of the window. She knew there are still twenty minutes to reach home and she wanted them to pass quickly.
“I don't think you are,” he replied. “If someone has a boyfriend it shows!”
“His name is Vikram. I've told you.” She felt a strange pride in announcing it like that.
The remaining ten minutes again passed in silence. He dropped her home with a heavy heart.
“Won't you invite me over for a coffee?” he asked with hope glinting in his eyes.
“Nemo, I am too tired. Tomorrow please.” she smiled.
“What if I disappear from your life, will it make a difference” he asked her as she made way towards her home.
“Don't ask stupid questions Nimesh” she frowned.
“I want to know. It's important.”
“Yes, it will.”
“We will find out” he smiled.
She shrugged his silly questions and went inside.
The flat was empty. Reva had left for Delhi, unable to stand Mumbai any more. She felt a little scared. Nervously she unpacked her things and arranged them on the empty cupboard. She was too tired to make anything for herself. She regretted not having a coffee with Nimesh. For an instance, she thought of calling him back. She wanted to fight her own battle with loneliness.
She took off her clothes and hada shower. She lied down in her bed and draped herself with a soft blanket. She closed her eyes drifting into a semi-conscious state. She felt some one was lying next to her. A naked ugly looking man with withering skin and dark under eye circles. He was lying on his back next to her.
“Who are you?” she jerked.
Tears slipped out of the corners and he kept looking up at the ceiling.
“I am loneliness. Why do you dread me so much?” As he turned towards her, his voice was husky and frightening.
“You are painful,” she replied with fear encompassing her.
“You make me painful by dreading me. A part of me surrounds everyone. I walk with you all the time. You can't run away from me. You work so hard to avoid me and drain us both. Be with me. Understand me. Find solace in me. I can give you that. Love cannot exist without me. When you will learn to accept me, I will change my form into contentment. That is when I will bring you the light of love that is within.”
“Girl,” he continued, “problem comes when people don't want to face themselves. They are scared of being alone. In the process, they cling on to anyone and everyone. For once they have to realise that just because they are scared of me they don't have to claw on anyone else. Others are just as mortal as you are. You need to lean on me and only me to fight with me.” They stretched their hands to grip each other.
She woke up next morning feeling lighter than usual. She was excited about going to work after her stint with Italy.
As soon as she reached office, her boss called her to ask how the trip had been. He was glad to hear that it went off well.
“I expect you to start on this new magazine immediately. We want interesting stories. I want this to become an essential and informative reading for every woman,” he said. People and their ideas!
She wondered how Esha could ever sleep with him. He was shrewd with a fat nose that extended both sides of his face.
She called Vikram and told him all about her promotion and about the plans for the new magazine.
He did not wish her good luck or congratulate her. Sometimes she wondered if the man was normal.
She and her team exposed stories about how women are exploited in various fields, glamour being one of them. The more she came across different stories across the globe, the more she realized how strongly hypocrisy has merged with power. She came to of people who would be associated with NGOs in the day and criminals at night.
A 16 year old girl she met was called for a photo shoot and forced to have sex with six drunken men at the same time. She was even clicked so that she does not talk about the incident to anyone. One of themwas a top fashion photographer and the other one was a top film producer. Maya asked the girl to name them and she did. Maya was shocked since she had read both their interviews often in her own paper. One of them was attached to an NGO that worked for women. He claimed that a percentage of his film revenue went towards the education of these poor women. What he didn't mention was that he then took it back from them with interest.
Her boss told her that no names should be published since they didn't want the first issue to go under any controversy.
“Who knows if that girl is actually speaking the truth or not?” he had said.
“What does that mean?” Maya was upset.
“See women are themselves involved in all this. You think those men really need to rape anyone given that they have no dearth of women around them. She might need some cheap publicity.”
“She is just 16.”
“That's a good age enough to exploit men,” he said.
“Exploit men. What are we talking about? She was gang raped. She has lost the charm a 16 year old should have towards life. She does not know what goal she should keep in her life anymore and you say she was exploiting them.”
“You tell me why they would have to rape a girl like her?”
“Power. Power works on your head and makes a person sick. They want to force their power on weaker people. The fun then lies in snatching, suppressing and showing one's darker side without being afraid of anyone,”she paused for a moment.
“Control,” she continued, “As humans, when these power addicts lose control on their lives and feel frustrated, they seek some kind of control in rape. Being able to snatch away the power of a weak woman and dehumanize her.”
“For God sake, Maya. This magazine needs to bring revenue for the company and that's your prime work. Please remember that and stop being carried away.” She came out without another word.
The first issue was a success. It was launched at a theme party organized by her company. Crème da le crème of the society was present to grace the occasion. She even met Aditya at the same party.
“I heard you are heading this magazine,” he said.
'How have you been, Adi?”
“Getting along. A bit stressed out, though.”
“How come Aditya Balraj is stressed out?” she was sarcastic.
He avoided an answer. Instead he started talking about how Maya was doing.
“You disappoint me. You should not have cheated on Reva,” Maya told him.
“I knew you would be angry. That's the reason I didn't have the heart to talk to you. I am sorry.”
“Whats it Adi? You look troubled,” Maya held his hand.
Apology coming from Aditya was unusual.
“I feel lonely Maya,” His eyes were moist. “I am tired of screwing around women.”
“Adi. What's wrong?” Maya knew he was serious.
“I miss a companion. Every time I sit alone I miss a girl.”
“Who?” Maya was surprised. Love can torture anyone.
“I wonder if you remember that girl with whom I spent the longest time with. Simran,Simran Kaur.”
Maya shook her head in disbelief.
“Why don't you get back to her?”
“I have tried so hard to trace her. I have lost touch and she had blocked me on Facebook.”
Maya thought for a while and whispered.
“I know where she works. Will that do?” she smiled.
Adi's jaw dropped. “How do you know?”
“Don't ask me that. If you want to know I can tell you, but you need to return the favor.”
“I will do anything,” he pleaded.
“Apologize and be nice to Reva. Both of you are my friends. It wasn't fair.”
“I will. I am anyways guilty of all that. I have gone through enough.”
Her phone beeped and she excused herself.
“Sun Software systems,” she whispered in Adi's ears before she left.
Coffee?
It was Nimesh.
Tied up.
She sent the reply.
You have no time for me these days. What about my book? You were to edit it. Don't be silly. I will. Will catch up on the weekend.
The magazine started taking most of her time. The next issue was on exploitation in holy places and she got to know of dreaded treatment women had to face. She met a woman who was sent away to a religious ashram in Vrindavan, near Ganges as a child widow. She was raped by her own brother in law after her husband's death. She was further raped by the priest in the name of shuddhikaran. She was then sold by the same priest to influential people and all in the name of God. A life dedicated to religious prostitution. She went through miscarriages, witnessed gory murder of her confidante and best friend in the same ashram. Maya shuddered at the plight of widows.
What's wrong with our religion? There is something terrible that we cannot see in our own set of rules. At an age of thirteen when she should have been reading in school and playing with friends under some banyan tree in the city of Lord Krishna, where people visit to cast away their sins, this girl was facing all this. She was forced to cut her hair ,wear a white saree and live a life that was stamped every second. She was forced to sing bhajans, but the same caretakers were ruining her dignity. Such brutal tortures, those that were unheard of. Women guarded even in bathrooms. Women humiliated to an extent where life becomes gore.
She knew there was no point discussing it with the boss. This girl was a live witness with names that could set the magazine on fire. She knew no one will want to get deeper into mudslinging. All she could do was feel sorry and give a bird's eye view. The world was burning and we were just warming our hands on the fire.
Three issues of magazine were out and Maya's work was appreciated critically. In fact she got an award from the director's desk. She was gaining some recognition for herself. She had applied for a home loan and shortlisted a small one BHK in Mumbai that she could afford.
One afternoon she was busy working on a media plan sent by her client. They were looking at buying out first four pages of the magazine for the entire year. This meant big money for Maya.
Hey, wanna catch up. It was Nimesh.
I'm too tired.
I am leaving for Sydney tomorrow.
She had not known that he was to leave so soon. She had been caught up in her job for weeks and been too busy to see him. They agreed to meet that evening. She wanted to wish him goodbye.
“I had decided against going to Australia. But my mother insists,” he said glumly. “He's been so nice to me that I don't have the heart to refuse.”
“I'll miss you, Maya,” he continued.
“Come on, Nimesh. Don't behave childishly,” she chided him.
“I'll miss you, Maya,” he repeated, his face wan.
“Listen, whether you agree or not, I'm in love with you. I thought it would be an infatuation and I'll get out of it. But no, Maya, I can't get rid of your thoughts.”
”Go and focus on your course, Nimesh. Make a life for yourself. Soon you'll get over me,” she said firmly.
“I have a bad feeling about going,” he said. He was sad. She was firm.
He was great to be around. But this was different. The boy was playing with his life, she could see. “Nimesh, looking glum doesn't suit you. Grow up,” she said.
“Okay. I'll go, Maya. Since you don't love me what's the point to stay?”he said wiping a tear from his eye, he got up suddenly and went away, head bowed.