The Fall of a Rising Star by Corey Turner - HTML preview

A change of pace

starting off a new wasn't something I wanted do when I got back home but anyway I met my cousin at the bus station and got in the car he lit one right in my face and then stuck it in my grill and you know I had no choice it was like a mandatory welcome home thing when I pulled up everybody was there which I didn't expect at all only because I was so plastered I just wanted to run and hide for a spell still though it felt good to see a welcome gift like this after I talked a bit and ducked out here and there they finally left and note soon as I got myself settled I got a call from my other group member from the old days and he was performing at a club that night so I decided to pay him a visit this fellow that I called jeez his nickname had a group called balk one of the legendary group around Jackson my home town and few other states after they tore the roof off we blew it out in the back of the club while we're doing it up in a cloud of maze before you know it he talked about getting together  and trying to start a group you know how I was thinking already...yeah...right but seeing that we use to be in a group I thought what the hell I got nothing else to lose and plus it wasn't like I was doing anything anyway before you know it later on in the week we got together to do a jingle for a famous soda company in which I will not name they had advertised it on the radio that they were looking for the best jingle and so we entered it when the results came back we won!...second place and when everybody told us that we were better that pretty much gave us the confidence to push ahead in everything we did from then on while in the studio I started to talk to easy about this other DJ I knew back in the days he was also a rap artist and could play anything he heard and then some plus he was a good friend to me then I thought anyway well after I kept pressing and pressing him he finally said alright lets hook something up the day came when we finally got together it didn't take long but I guess a few minutes of listening to his music when we immediately became a group knowing now what I didn't know now I never would've proposed that idea to him anyhow soon as we got started it was nonstop which I loved we stayed busy and always had something to do whether its somewhere to perform or in the studio writing songs we all knew something would pay off and that day finally came when one of our dis friend called him on a proposed deal that included him signing on as a group member you know this didn't dove well for me or easy j but we had to shake it off and give his friend the benefit of the doubt so we gave it a shot he knew some people in Nashville and thought that they could manage us so we got together and discussed some plans on how we were going to do this traveling wise after we finally nailed down what we needed to do everyone left but me because I decided to stick around a while something shoulder told me to leave but I didn't so as me and my DJ friend played around a bit on some music he decided to leave out  for a minute thatch when his wife his first wife started to kind of give me that look you know what I mean that look like she wanted to tear me apart but in a good way...a real good way I wasn't until one day I was over there she went to go take a bath and the bathroom was right across the hall not to close to the living room and I didn't think too much of things that were going on then out of nowhere I hear a psst! She passed me by with nothing on I mean bucked naked and oh! I looked don't get me wrong she was built like an amazon beautifully stacked if you know what I mean well I guess later on that day she had an argument with him then I guess she decided to give me a call and tell me she was on her way to my house thinking to myself what the hell is going on here she knocked on my door and I let her in I guess that was the moment she was looking for because within the next few minutes she welcomed inside if you know what I mean and it was a wet and wild ride that didn't last as long as we wanted because we both started feeling a little ashamed so we cut it off not too long afterward moving on pass that we meaning my group members and I got the chance to meet up with our soon to be manager they lived in a nice townhouse in the suburbs area of Nashville as we walked in her daughter was the first to greet us now mi gonna tell ya she had an alright face but damn that body wow! Not soon after our manager walked in she caught me off guard because she was a nice person very religious and always had a story to tell you she was also pretty good at the job of getting us noticed she started off getting us a gig at this local club in Nashville until she got an idea of getting a block party started with good promotion because we weren't getting anything played on the radio but still we had a nice crowd to see us perform and everybody loved us after the show was over everybody was beaming with confidence knowing what we have could be something everybody would like so we decided to part ways after the show and meet up the next time as we were driving back after talking about what happened when we were performing our DJ friend DJ t just spurted out that he and his wife had gotten a divorce and after he said that I kinda wasn't the same only because I thought I had something even if it was a small something of them being divorced but I learned later it really wasn't and that they were just growing apart and just had enough of each other it kinda deflated the pressure because I never want to be the one that destroys a relationship but I guess he managed to move on and not to soon after he was divorced which was only a month he found another and he managed to surprise us one weekend we just happened to notice her in the car and he told us that she was his fiancee and they were about to marry to say the least she wasn't anything like his first she was drop dead gorgeous and didn't mind flirting when she had the chance and for some reason I felt connected to her like a magnet as she was to me being his friend or what I thought was friendship at the time we told him him don't you think you should take the time to really know her and not to rush into this but he was in love and not even paying attention to what we had to say so we just moved on with that subject the next day I seen them the attraction became more stronger and I couldn't get her off my mind so as I got there and came to the door she was the first to answer the door with a look and body that would fulfill any savage beast dream I said hello and went straight to his studio room after days of coming over and over she started to sit with us  one day then after that almost every time I went over minute by minute hour by hour she almost never left the studio whenever I came over pretty soon afterward it wasn't  hiding it and I knew something was going on I just couldn't put my finger on it then one day I had came over my producer slash DJ friend came to me with a proposition and would like to know what I thought about swinging and me being real dumb at the time I said what is swinging that's when he started to just crack up laughing and he explained well it's when you let your husband or wife have sex with another person and me feeling like homer Simpson when he's in his dough! Moment it remember watching a porn about it and by not being attached to nobody and feeling the adrenaline of that whole thing I said cool mysteriously he was relieved and that weekend we had nothing to do so I came over and went straight back there to the studio feeling a little paranoid I guess because I was high and feeling the pressure of wanting to do my best anyway while we were  back there she came in with pretty much nothing on but her lingerie she went to him and did her thing and made her way to me and to tell you I was nervous would real be the truth but I played it so cool that everything went off without a problem it's only when she started to kiss me is when it felt kinda weird but it was a good weird because soon after it was over the nerves went away and it was like a regular thing you know the whole time that I have been screwing her it felt like a porno by the time it became a every day thing I met an old friend and we started to hit it off but at the time I really didn't want to get serious because of the situation I was in with my so called friend and his wife but as stupid as I was I went in head first so as it continued I started to feel bad because of the whole situation but then again I let it go because who knew what she was doing behind my back and at the same time we were just dating for a while but she made sure that I didn't have to worry about anything at least I thought she even had a friend who wasn't bad looking and had a beautiful body and we all sat back and got a little drunk and finally broke the ice let me tell ya it was a strip show going on and they were on the floor showing all the goods one thing went to another next thing you know we had a scene to blow all scenes away I left that night thinking it couldn't get better than this with a look-aid smile on my face I thought I was on top of the world especially after having sex with my friends wife but really to be honest with you in the end you just get hurt by doing all of this and as the days were passing so fast before we all knew it time to go to Nashville again by the time we got there we had to meet an investor our manager knew that wanted to put money into our group note we didn't ask for much of anything for ourselves he just started giving us things like clothing and out to eat and throwing a little cash on the side in our pocket needless to say I thought we were on easy street nothing could bring us down from the high we were on it wasn't till the next day when we had to perform at a public high school and we performed the kids there loved us I think it was cameras everywhere to contribute to our egos getting bigger and bigger and bigger hey there was never a dull moment in Nashville we went up there broke but when we got there we didn't have to spend a dime so when I say everything was taken care of I mean everything was taking care of we kinda felt like kids in a candy store and the investors were our fathers and we just ran wild footloose and fancy free grabbing any any everything we seen not looking at the prices as the day came into night we went back to our home town and I think it was a Monday when our manager called us and told us she had a surprise for us and to come that following weekend of course we're like I wonder what she meant by that you know we were thinking record deal well as the weekend came and we got there she told us that she had tickets for us to go to a concert to see how the big stars do it and the concert was this group called 112 and at that time they were a pretty large group back then and we got to see them live and it was one of the best shows that I ever attended they truly showed themselves like true professionals all the way the ladies were screaming so loud it kinda reminded me of a Micheal Jackson concert we had a ball plus we learned a lot on how we need to be as far as carrying ourselves onstage and off stage as well my only regret is that we didn't meet them in person that would have been great but hey that was enough for me soon after he concert was over she told us she had a proposition for us and that it would be a great thing for us so as curious as we were we were like OK spit it out whats the proposition and she told us would you or could you think about singing gospel and we were like totally thrown a loop first off we were thinking gospel well I don’t know about that rand b was our life I mean hip hop was our love and to transition from that would be like a big transition we had to think about for like a while soon after that she had called us to tell us that they had a gospel seminar in Nashville and thought that it would be a great opportunity for us to go and find out what goes on and in the gospel circuit so we said what the heck lets do it when we got there we were like hey what have we gotten ourselves into but actually it turned out to be one of the best we've had yet we met a lot of famous people there one of them was a rm Jonathon Slocum a comedian on the rise at the time he at the time did a little stand up and not knowing who he was he did a great job its just amazing to see how much he accomplished now compared to were he was then when the seminar ended she our manager pulled some strings and happened to get us back stage to met some people first off we met Howard Hewlett in which I was a major fan of when he was with marshal I think Jodi wattle was in that group I believe also and both have done pretty good on the solo circuit so anyway wen had to get autographs and he gave us really good advice on the music industry but he also said gospel is on the rise and that you should not be dismayed by the title it can also be a very lucrative business as well but you have to be true to it and that was great advice so the more that I thought about it the more it made sense and I guess it did for them as well I could just tell by looking at them but the very thing that I finally realized I wanted to do I knew I had to get rid of the skeletons in my closet to make it feel right so as we left the seminar and went back home that feeling of disgust was all over me so I had to go home thinking about the whole scenario real hard and believe it or not a part of me still really wanted her so bad and a part of me just wanted to end it all the problem didn't go away from me for a while when they say temptation is a bitch you should really believe it that devil in me was strong and for a while it was hard for me to say no every time I went over there to try to do music there would be a time out for a lot of play and well...I played... the rush from it all was so exciting and I guess the passion that played a scene when we were having sex was intoxicating so I had to fight within myself to just quit cold turkey so decided to take a small leave of absence you to get in the music industry takes a lot of dedication and money I shoulder have listened when one of the producers I met took me aside and told me that I could be a force by myself and me trying to be the good Samaritan boy I really regret it now to know what you could have been and to finally realize your not getting any younger but much much much older doesn't sit well with you anyway getting back to our group were kinda like stuck in a position to where we didn't know what move to make and our manager hasn't heard a word on squat which means that we're back to square one so at this point we all decided that we'll just keep in contact with each other until we can get some money up and try to touch basis then I don’t know about anybody else but that's code for no more group to me after a week rumors to spread about our manager and her boyfriend at the time getting into a skirmish with each other I guess she supposedly slept with one of our group members not directly though just an outside friend and helper and he caught wind of it and they start arguing I don't know what to say about it but more delays and more drama and to top it off my other group members started to distance themselves from each other and you know I could get mad about it all but hey why things were getting dry for us and it started to feel like the same thing that happened to me when I stayed in California so a break was needed but to my surprise but not really my producer was calling me nonstop and I don't think this conversation is about anything but triple x-rated vulgar and explicit shit in which I’m trying very hard to distance myself from but the dude was so insecure that he doesn't want his wife to screw anybody else but me which may sound terrible but in a messed up way it's not you wouldn't find me doing that with my wife but that's just me any how this whole process of screwing his wife was taking it's toll and in the midst of that mi trying to rebuild my career especially from what I’ve been through in California and I want to do this the right way and by meaning the right way I mean by not screwing your so called friends wife I already screwed his first wife if you want to call it that and now his second wife also it takes a toll on you mentally and physically as well and as it kept happening friendships get tested and feelings get a little more personal  that's exactly what happened to us just the little things every time I went over and she was around in the front,back whichever place I was he would watch a little bit more at her movements it just got a little more stressful every time and not to mention we had a group a damn good one and we didn't need anymore negative attention that we didn't already have but anyhow we'll get back to this story because believe me it's not over by a long shot I just want to move on and tell you that I remember the words monkey wrench and this would apply to that phrase because it was going downhill our manager didn't have anyone at call I don't know if she called anyone at all we couldn't just see her like we used to because of money situations and we not being able to practice in weeks this was starting to be the same scenario for sure everyone was turning on everybody else behind their back and the unity we once had was slowly tearing us apart the fact is pretty soon though the no calls had weighed down hard on us and also my DJ and his wife also wanted to play their swing games in which I took apart of like a damn fool which I regret to this day because like my late mother said you do wrong wrong be done to you and boy that's what happening well as soon as I got home from that swing session I had got a phone call and it was the girl I was seeing and she told me she needed to talk to me now I had a very weird feeling about that but she also told me it's late now so I’ll tell you in the morning and by knowing how I am I couldn't wait but she insisted on telling me to my face so I said OK that's fine so the next morning came and she let me know that she was on the way so with much anticipation she came a knocking and we hugged and she looked right into my face and said I know what's been going on I said what do you know and she said everything I couldn't do anything but say and how's that she said because she was screwing him and she was getting tired of the whole thing I said what I started to really get angry but why what she told me was that she was screwing him before we met in which I don't know if I believe but it also takes me back to when we were working with each and every time she would pick me up they would have that look at each other and I felt funny about that whole thing then and also when she came to me about her being pregnant and that I had suspicions about it being mines then she had an abortion when I know if it was mines she wouldn't have done that so that is still up for debate but when I mention that  she doesn't want to talk about it but anyhow back to the scene of the drama she told me she would understand if I didn't want talk to her anymore and boy I really wanted to say get the hell up out my house but I didn't I was falling for her I know if it was you you probably would have told her to take a hike but I look at it like this I was screwing behind her back even though we were not officially going with each other but as it progressed over time I was developing them for her I just didn't want her to know and I think that's why this continued to go on I might be wrong  but that's me and I felt like I still wanted to be with her but and there is a but I can never put my total trust in her and she may feel the same way but that's how it's going to be and I don't know how long it will take to get that trust back it came to a point where I didn't know what I would do now group wise I know you shouldn't let your feelings get in the way of your dreams but it's hard to look at someone after they been with your girlfriend in an intimate way and it's hard to listen to what they have to say when they've been lying to you the whole time about things that come out of their mouths saying that because I asked him and he said no so you know relationships and friendships get a little testy after you go through an ordeal like I have been through it even affected the group that I was in I won't lie when I tell you I rarely wanted to do anything with the group because of him just looking at him even ticked me off every time we practiced or even when we performed I don’t know I just couldn't take it anymore without a doubt I regretted everything that went on so after the final gig we did on that day going back home I really didn't say much and you know it didn't dove well for my other members they started staring at me with the look of why are you so quiet I wanted to tell them but I just didn't want everybody to know except I believe two did but knowing that even they still couldn't comprehend without taking things the wrong way I just had to do it NY way and that's not saying too much or even calling them after a couple of months they got the idea I guess I just wanted some me time with my girlfriend after all we're trying to get our lives at least halfway to normal and spend as much time as we can with each other we both know we couldn't look at each other the same way we did but at the same time I know I loved her and I know she loved me it was just hard to put our trust totally in one another but we gave it a go and till this day we're still going strong and taking it day by day and that's all you can do getting back to this problem I’m going through more rumors are being spreader about and it's coming from my best friend jeez and he was telling me our so called friend slash producer didn't like me spending too much time with my girlfriend because we have priorities and mi like priorities we can't even communicate as a group first of all and second of all we don't have  money and were all sort of like floating about for now and third it's seems like a little jealousy of me being with my girlfriend and it seems like he wanted her more than he wanted his own wife especially sexually so when I heard it I called and talked to him about it but once again he told me that he said nothing big surprise not just the way his tone was set I didn't believe a word he said but then he stated that jeez was saying that same exact thing it didn't take long for me to notice what was going on here and how I needed to address the situation hearsay is something that's already taking place and somebody wants me to believe someone else and right now I don’t think I can believe anybody, going through ordeals like this taught me a lot as far as who you can trust and who you cannot it also tells me that you cant totally put your trust in anybody be it friend or family that's just my point of view now I’m not saying there are any good people out here but just be careful of what you say and do for some people because they will stab you in the back if your not careful it's up to you to choose which options to take and especially in the music industry me myself I just decided to take a semi-permanent leave of absence due to having had enough of the drama but then again that's only the tip of the iceberg after my sudden departure we all kinda faded out of touch I had gotten an other job in which things didn't work out there so then on I was jobless for a while  and my mother had injured herself and her health was on the decline so we were forced to moved in my grandmothers house which is her mothers house so anyway a few months passed by still without even a call or whisper from me or anyone else and I not doing what I love to do was really leaving me depressed and empty inside I wasn't doing what I love which was music so after those months of thinking it over I decided to give them a call trying to move past my feelings in which I still never forgave or even forgot but trying to be the bigger man and plus there was no way of even getting a DJ and producer that knew the kind of music I liked to do I sucked it up and gave him a call and he and jeez was wondering why did I take this long to get in touch with them me thinking well hell what do you think I been through with you guys thinking that but not saying that of course I made up some mambo jumbo about being real sick for a while and and I didn't want to give them what I had and thinking that was the lamest one yet they believed it what so bad they didn't even ask me what I had and we moved on even knowing in the back of my mind that I shouldn't be getting involved but my love for the arts only made me that much more hungry so be hence to me my group members had already made arrangements with the investor that we previously encountered earlier and he pulled enough strings to where all we had to do is just show up and he would already have the money to shut down a pretty famous studio in Nashville and let us run the show that day with our managers clout and charisma mind you we needed to have at least a few songs recorded so that we could show a few people before the album drops what we're all about now only if we could get through our bickering and decide on which song and how we're going to do it and how the albums cover is going to be and then it was even the small insignificant things you know when it comes to somebody making the decisions it's gonna be someone that disagrees and a whole new brand of drama starts all over again until we finally decided to do at least two songs and forgo the last one you know something I had that bad feeling in my guts about this because for once we didn't know anything about this investor if he was on the up and up and two it seemed like we still can't agree on anything.

Soon after we settled in we ran out of money and we're forced to borrow till I can find a job after being totally commuted to the group I was in also threw my whole perception of staying fully focused on other things because I thought that I couldn't do anything else but music so mi slowly trying to get back to finding myself and with this economy collapsing it makes it more difficult to try and find jobs and even with a job agency your not guaranteed to last long they could easily let you go after a certain period of time but right now I’m having trouble just keeping the lights on and gas for that matter yeah it's been downhill after I left the group but out of all that I’ll never trade a thing about what I’ve been through oh it taught me a lot you can say that it made me more aware of my surroundings and that you should choose very carefully who your friends should be or else get stabbed in the back without knowing how ,why and who yeah that's still my dream and I’m still not giving up on it and that's what makes me different than most because I don't care how old I get I refuse to give up theirs more than one way to get in the door without anybody breaking my toes many other avenues to choose from every aspect of my life is about to get better I’m already half way there you know sometimes I think it's because of what I did in my younger days fooling around with women I shouldn't have and doing dumb stuff I didn't need to be doing but nonetheless it is what it is what I’m trying to get to the viewing public is my side of life in the music business and life in general it's a really scary business and you can get into all kinds of traps and pitfalls in this game I picked the wrong cards or rather didn't use my cards correctly I’ll tell you this though don't you ever give up on your dreams and stay true to what you can do and as always never ever give up on anything you do in life god bless ya