If You Feel the Need to Say You “Are”… You “Are Not”
When we ask people to define negotiation on the Scotwork pre-course paperwork, purchasing people very often refer to “finding a middle road” or “common ground”. They deal every day with variables about which they and the people across the table feel differently and what they really mean is “let’s split the difference”. Sales people however refer to “persuasion” often as their all- encompassing definition of negotiation. This persuasion they see as a unilateral process of changing the view of the other party in order to have them accept their offer or opinion. Salespeople often consider this to be an essential fundamental skill of their trade.
Persuasion is an instinctive approach to conflict in an attempt to change the view of the other party(ies) towards our own. The reason we resort to this is very simply because if we indeed reach agreement solely through persuasion the cost to us is NOTHING. Persuasion is clearly an attractive option, but in our minds persuasion takes on an importance that far outweighs its prospects of success. Just as more people buy a lottery ticket than can expect to win, it seems that we invest a considerable amount of time in persuasion because it is spectacularly cost-free if successful and the persuasive party feels an enormous personal sense of achievement if the outcome is successful. Conversely, as is most often the case, when persuasion fails it feels personal; there is a sense of loss of honor or pride.
The newspapers report significant disputes every day where often the only attempt made to resolve differences has been persuasion. Our politicians proudly announce “No concessions” to the electorate and immediately they reduce their options. We too see that week by week even the most experienced negotiators resort to persuasion like a reflex action at the beginning of t<