Star by Eliza Witte - HTML preview

63

XXXVIII

Annie spent the early hours of the day by her window. She gave a good cry, of course, mostly because she blamed herself for not being good for anything. One should have in mind that stars don’t ever fail. To fail means that you didn’t fulfill the meaning of your existence. Existence, however, is meaning. Stars exist full of meaning, so they can’t fail. So it was hard for Annie to define exactly what had happened to her. At a certain moment Jessie knocked at the door. Annie let her in and got even more upset to see her friend looking more miserable then her, ‘I blew it, didn’t I? Are you angry with me?’ Jessie sobbed.

‘No. You’ve done what you could,’ assured her Annie. Then after taking a big breath she confessed it aloud at last , ‘I was the one who failed.’

‘This wasn’t supposed to happen. I am so sorry but…,’ yet, Jessie couldn’t finish her sentence She was gazing at Stu’s poster, ‘Who is this? He looks so much like Stu. This is Stu! Tour 2024? My Goodness, how did you come by this?’

‘I come from very far. I tried to tell you that – really far, I'm not from this world. I am a star.’

‘Annie, have you been smoking again?’

‘No, but it’s true. Therefore I’m so clumsy sometimes and I’m so good at school.’

‘Annie, you are high again,’ Jessie sounded frightened, her voice quavering.

‘No. Do you remember when we first met?’

‘No. Actually I don’t.’

‘Do you know why? Because we didn’t meet at all. They prepared everything for me –

I simply came here in the right time and came into your life. If you ask Aaron, he will remember that he has never been in love with me for I was not here. We have also never studied together because your mind is not projected to see 4-dimensionally or 5-or 8-dimensionally. You have certain reminiscences but that's all you can have in your 3-dimensional life.’

‘That’s unbelievable,’ exclaimed Jessie but Annie continued, ‘I came to help Stu. I’ve known him for so long and I can tell you – although all stars sing, no star sings the way he does – with all his heart and soul into it. He is a wonderful person but he doesn’t feel comfortable with who he is for he is lonely. He wants to kill himself. He is very sensitive and vulnerable and doesn’t know how to deal with his talent. It takes so much courage to be a creative person. I think he's gradually losing hope that somebody will ever understand him. I know he is odd sometimes, but that’s because he dwells in another world. He dwells in… our world. That’s why I love him.’ Annie took a big breath again and continued, ‘Look, I won’t 64

come tomorrow for work. Please, tell Louie that I feel sick. I have certain things to take care of.’

XXXIX

The beginning of June was the most exciting time of the year for everybody at the College. The annual ball was just days ahead and it was the main topic of all conversations.

Girls talked about ball-gowns and boys talked… about girls. No reciprocity (again). The overall excitement was taking place a little too far from where Annie was. She had decided to spend her last days on Earth doing things she had come to love and didn't show up in class at all. Instead, she visited the chapel on each and every occasion as she seemed to have become fond of the place. She strolled around in the park on endless walks, went several times window-shopping again, got into McDonalds and used 'money' to get a soft drink from the automat in the lobby of her dormitory. She often toyed with the opportunity to get back home with her toothbrush as she had come down here with Stu’s poster but she didn’t quite know if this would be possible.

Jessie, in her turn, also didn’t bother much about the ball. She was feeling particularly lonely these days. She was regular at classes but watching every day Annie’s empty chair was hard for her. Sometimes Jessie was simply sad, other times she was so mad at Annie that she worked off her bad temper on everybody around her, including Chris. She rolled over and over her last conversation with Annie in her mind and the more she thought over it, the more she realized that an absurd explanation about stars and skies was much better than the alternative of being left alone in a very sad world.

Stu, in the meantime, had tried to keep on writing and one could see him often coming in or going out of the rehearsal room. He was always alone and tried his best to avoid his friends. They got all together only once for the usual rehearsal some time before their last evening at Louie’s bar. Stu had firmly decided to erase Annie from his thoughts once and for all as soon as their last night at The Blues had gone. In the meantime, he tried hard to be as prolific as before but although he improvised over and over again with different tunes, they simply didn’t work. This made him annoyed and uncomfortable. However, he accepted it just as a sign of how upset he was from everything that had happened. He was flattered, though, by the thought that he would act now more professionally than ever – he would just perform his songs the best he could with no emotions at all.

On the last evening at the bar he announced briefly that due to conflict of interests he and his band would no longer play and although the clients wanted to express their disappointment he simply hit one song after another. It was just a usual evening but it had an 65

unusual end. During their break right before their last session of 45 minutes, the strange guest who had requested Stu’s best song mysteriously appeared on stage while the boys were arranging their stuff for the next set of songs. The man was in his early 50s and looked rather indifferent at first, but he quickly got down to business obviously reluctant to waste any time, ‘I’d like to talk to you, young man!’ he turned to Stu. ‘Get the boys, too!’ his attitude commanded all the respect the man exuded, ‘What will you say about recording this – ‘The World’s In Your Eyes’-song?’

At first Stu was intrigued by the re-appearance of this man, then he was stunned and then wary ‘Does Annie have anything to do with this?’

‘I don’t know who Annie is, young friend, but I am very glad to meet you! Melvin McCane from Olympia Records.’

XXXX

‘It's so beautiful!’

‘It's rented. The last wage from Louie did a good job!’

Annie was swaggering in front of the mirror in a beautiful ball-gown and Jessie, already fully equipped with her own ball-gown, make-up and a hair-dress was standing behind Annie helping her fix her hair.

‘I want to have a nice memory from here before I go,’ said Annie.

‘You are going?’ Jessie dropped the comb.

‘Yeah, I asked my Boss to take me back. Tomorrow there will be the summer solstice.

When the sun is strongest at noon I will leave.’

‘Will you die?’ managed to utter Jessie.

‘I don’t know! I will simply be gone,’ Annie replied. She walked up to the wall and took off Stu’s poster and handed it to Jessie. ‘Please, give this to Stu from me as a souvenir, will you?’ she asked and then looking straight into Jessie’s eyes she added, ‘Without you I wouldn’t get even that far.’ Jessie was ready to cry. That’s why Annie rushed her, ‘Don’t! Or you will spend the rest of the evening fixing your make-up! Come, the boys must be waiting.’

Aaron and Chris were waiting for them downstairs in front of the dorm. They made for the big pavilion in the park where the ball was going to take place. Students were coming in crowds and the music could be heard from afar. On the way Jessie, Annie and their partners met a lot of friends, whom they talked to and thank God the casual conversations made Jessie brighten up a bit. Annie still looked anxious though. She was constantly looking around and Jessie knew she was searching for Stu. Yet he was nowhere to be seen. At the jostle of crowding students in front of the pavilion Jessie and Chris managed to get inside 66

first and Aaron and Annie were left alone for awhile. Aaron immediately used the occasion to tell Annie how glad he was that she had accepted to come with him but all she did was just to smile with this smile of hers that seemed to be a reflection of its own light, Aaron thought.

When they finally got inside Aaron took the initiative to invite her to a dance but while they were turning and whirling under the music, Annie’s eyes were also dancing upon the crowd.

After the first dance was over she finally accepted the fact that there was nothing for her there anymore now that Stu had gone from her life. Aaron suggested that he fetch some drinks and it was when Annie was left absolutely alone that the DJ hired for the ball declared,

‘Wow, wow, wow! It’s getting hot tonight, isn’t it? May I now have your attention, ladies and gentlemen? I have the pleasure to introduce you a brand new song which has already hit the Sun Dance Radio Station 6 times today. A song written by a young man whom we all know very well. Ladies and Gentlemen, the last hit on the market is the brand new recording of

‘The World’s In Your Eyes’ by Stuart Reynolds and ‘All The King’s Men’!’ And the record rolled.

There wouldn’t be any nice memories upon departure. All she remembered was the lump in her throat and Dian’s voice behind her boasting she was together with Stu when he wrote it. Her eyes were full of tears now and when Aaron returned with the drinks she only managed to say, ‘Aaron, I’m sorry – I can’t. I can’t stay with you. I love Stu.’ Then she ran to the door into the night.

XXXXI

She ran till she was breathless. Her feet took her on to the path to the river but what was her surprise to hear the quiet sounds of guitar strings coming from the trees in the darkness. Before she saw him she knew Stu was there. He was sitting with his back to her just like they had met before. Annie stopped at a distance behind him and wiped away her tears. When she plucked up heart to speak she asked, ‘Why are you so sad? There’s a ball over there going on. They are playing music… your music. And it's really nice.’

‘What should I go there for?’ Stu said turning to her, ‘to make them look at me and to think that Mr. Self Confidence, the crazy musician, the weird guy finally fulfilled his ambitions?’ The bitterness in Stu’s voice made Annie shiver, ‘Hey, you’ve made the first step and you have all the reasons to be proud. Talent will out!’

‘Talent is loneliness,’ Stu muttered and Annie sighed.

‘Yeah… I guess that no-one can see just the boy that creates something for they can’t really forgive his talent. Especially in an environment like this. Stu, I think that you are special. I’ve been watching you for long and I know you’ll achieve a lot. The rest is unimportant. You are young, ambitious and you are proud of it. And you know what? –