Slightly exhausted but in a great mood, single Christian strolls past the swimming pool outside in the bright sunshine and passes a table where two smart-looking girls are chatting—one is blonde, the other has black hair. How can I get close to them? thinks Christian. Just at that moment, he picks up a strange phrase: »Not worth a red cent!«

  Christian feels addressed, sees an opportunity, and attacks.

  »Hey, are you two talking about me?«

  The girls look at him in amazement and giggle briefly as a duet.

  »No, we’re not talking about you.«

  The one with the dark hair has clarified the misunderstanding, and she puts a magazine aside.

  »About the beach. The beach here, all stupid pebbles—you can forget about it«, the blonde gets annoyed and plays with her ponytail. Christian estimates her to be in her late twenties, barely older than him.

The Black-haired will be in her mid-twenties, he guesses. He notices a tattoo of an eagle on her upper left arm.

  »There are great sandy beaches on Rhodes, but more in the south«, Christian announces.

  »Really? The guy seems to have a clue. Why don’t you sit down for a minute?« the blonde asks him, therefore beginning the introduction. »Her name is Jessica, and I am Isabel.«

  »Hello, Jessica«, Christian greets the black-haired girl. »And you go by the name Isabel, if I can believe your words.«

  »You can take my word for anything, my boy«, claims blonde Isabel in a cheerful voice.

  »Absolutely anything!«

Full of expectation, Christian sits down with the two angels and tells them his name.

  »The weather doesn’t look too good for tomorrow«, says Isabel a little gloomily.

  »But you both look very good, and that will also be the case tomorrow«, enthuses Christian.

  »What a charming way to start the conversation« Isabel thanks him and makes a suggestion.

  »Always this stupid topic of the weather. Let’s enjoy this wonderful afternoon by the pool and eat kalimera again in the evening.«

  »Kalimera?«, wonders Christian. »Are you talking about squid, calamari?«

  »That’s what I meant.« Isabel gives him the puppy dog eyes.

  Christian has to smile and promptly believes that she thinks souvlaki is a traditional dance in Crete. And she orders a glass of sirtaki with dinner.

  »So let’s enjoy this wonderful afternoon«, says Isabel again, »before thunder and lightning force us into a card game marathon tomorrow. Let’s have a little chat about extraordinary people. Let’s start with you, Christian.«

»About me? Well, as I said, I am Christian, and my hay fever disappeared in Greece. Especially, I am allergic to grass pollen.«

  »You’ve lost your hay fever? And now you’re looking for it on Rhodes?«, Isabel jokes.

  »Good luck«, she says. »You’ll find grasshoppers on this island. And butterflies.«

  »I’ve already found two«, says Christian, who grins.

  »But you haven’t netted them yet. Believe me, I’m not that easy to catch. Excuse me, peeps, I’ll leave you alone for now«, says Jessica, and she apologizes. »I need to put on some suntan lotion and take a look in the mirror.«

  »Well, then you go«, says Isabel. »See you soon and be good, Jessie. Don’t do stupid things!«

So Jessica makes her way to the hotel room with her high-quality leopard print handbag. Christian enjoys her flawless physique for a few seconds and would like to know if she has had any other tattoos. The women’s magazine remains on the table. Christian has a suspicion: Jessica belongs to the category of girls who think cellulite is more dangerous than the sting of a scorpion.

Christian and Isabel are now sitting alone at the table and looking at each other.

  »One butterfly has already flown away, and we’re among ourselves. Christian, what do you do for a living?«

  »Me? Surveying technician.«

  »So Chrisy is a surveyor. I’m allowed to say Chrisy, aren’t I?«

  »Nice ladies always. I don’t have anything against it. It’s okay for me.«

  »My colleague gets upset every time I tease him by the nickname«, explains Isabel.

  »Oh, really, his name is Christian too?«

  »Nonsense. No, his name is Michael. I always annoy him with Mick.«

  »Where do you work?« Christian wants to know.

  »At the hospital, I’m a nurse.«

  »Where exactly?«

  »In Hannover.«

  »And this Michael is a colleague of yours?«

  »Yes, that’s right! Imagine that he has never had a woman—incredible! And you? Where are you from?«

Christian briefly wastes a few words on his small community in the Black Forest. He’d rather find out about the girls now, and he gets started.

  »Is Jessica your friend?«

  »More like a vacation acquaintance. We met yesterday here at the hotel. She lives in Freiburg. Is that far from you?«

  »Uh, about 50 kilometers«, answers Christian.

  »Well, you’re from the south, and I’m from the north. By the way, you’re tanned«, Isabel notes. »Have you been on vacation for a while? This is the first time I’ve seen you.«

  »I just arrived at the hotel two hours ago«, reveals Christian. »However, I’ve been traveling in Greece since the beginning of May, hopping from island to island.«

  »That would be almost three weeks? That’s cool. Where have you been so far?«

  »Wow, at least six islands. On Patmos too. A slight earthquake woke me up at night.«

»Patmos? Isn’t that also cream cheese?«

  »No! Patros would be a sheep’s cheese.«

  »All right. Let me summarize the news«, says Isabel. »You’re freshly stranded on Rhodes this morning, and our sweet Jessica is, as she told me earlier, in love freshly. Her last boyfriends must have all been complete idiots, but the current one would be marvelous in every way—a beauty of a guy.«

  Christian wonders: How long will it be before Jessica labels her current boyfriend a complete idiot, too? Or is Jessica naive enough to believe that the magic of romance and first-class sex could be an integral part of a long-term relationship?

After a brief pause for thought, Christian has to quench his thirst for knowledge again, and he continues his research.

  »Is Jessica’s magnificent specimen here too?«

  »No, he’s at home; he has to work. He also has to go to Philadelphia, USA, for a few days next week on business.«

  »What about you, Isabel? Are you in a happy relationship?«

  »You’re not curious at all«, she says, moving her head back briefly and thrusting her chest forward.

  »I’m not curious, I just like asking questions«, Christian replies cheekily. »So, are you in a relationship?«

  »No«, is her answer. »On the contrary, I ended my last relationship six months ago. I don’t want to be called a stupid cow by any guy anymore.«

  »What was the chuff’s name?«

»I called him John. His real name was Johannes; that was too long for me.«

  »You like abbreviations, I can tell. If you’re longing for a new boyfriend, what about your colleague Mick?«

  Isabel starts laughing hard. »You are a comedian. Michael with his antiquated views? No, thank you! That’s someone you can forget about completely. There’s nothing special about him. Besides, he’s too old for me.«

  Christian makes a comparison: The level of enthusiasm that Isabel shows for Michael is the same as I would show for a root canal treatment at the dentist.

»At 42, Michael still hasn’t had a wife«, continues Isabel. »And he’ll never find one, that bore.«

  »Why are you so sure about that?« asks Christian. »Why shouldn’t he find a suitable woman one day? Anything is possible in life.«

  »Anything is possible in life? Yes, of course! And Michael will turn out to be a bold womanizer and macho one day«, fantasizes Isabel.

  »Do you like macho men?«

  »Why? Are you one?« Isabel shoots back, nervously fiddling with her ponytail.

  »No«, Christian assures her. »Are you disappointed now?«

  »Ha!« When a woman makes such a short remark, it leaves room for many interpretations.

Christian takes a short pee break. Back from the toilet, he tries to get more information from Isabel. Hopefully she will not turn out to be a Jezebel, hopes Christian. Jessica has not reappeared yet.

  »Are there any bikes for hire around here? Because I’m planning a little bike ride.«

  »Yes, there are.« Isabel explains, »You go right out of the hotel to the main road. Then go down it; it’s an avenue that leads to the center. There you’ll find stores where you can hire scooters and bikes.«

  »What about you? Not in the mood for a bike ride?«

  »Oh, stop cycling and similar sporting activities«, whines Isabel. »They’re not for me. There are more comfortable things. Horseback riding would be cool. Or scooters. Besides, I’m riding back home in two days.«

  »You’re riding home in two days? Probably on a white horse? You won’t get across the sea on that.«

  »Mine is a Pergamus, it has wings and is excellent at flying.«

  »Pegasus«, corrects Christian. »By all means! The direct route across the Mediterranean is a shortcut. It’s no longer a secret that you love shortcuts.«

  »Pegasus exactly«, she corrects herself.

»Cycling is great«, says Christian, and you can see his enthusiasm. »It releases happiness hormones and lifts your spirits. Two years ago, I cycled through the Netherlands with a friend. We saw and experienced a lot, it was great. Poland must also be exciting for cycling, I’d like to go there one day. Do you know Masuria?«

  »So Christian, listen«, moans Isabel. »I’m not going to spend my vacation in this country. Ever since I was sexually harassed by a Pole, I swore to myself that I wouldn’t. I’m aware that not every Pole is a bad finger, but somehow I can’t get rid of the prejudice. No, definitely never Poland.«

  »My friend Daniel was there last year and came back absolutely thrilled. And he had a lot of positive experiences with the people there«, says Christian.

  »It’s a different story with you guys. What guy gets hit on except by a gay man or a drunk woman who’s had a vat of vodka?«

Drinking was a good keyword. They both get some well-chilled alcoholic drinks at the pool bar and sit down at the table again. A few minutes later, the other girl returns.

  »Hey!« Isabel says happily. »Who’s that approaching with cream on the tip of her nose? Is it our Jessica? Her birthday is in exactly two weeks.«

  »Here I am again«, Jessica speaks in dulcet tones, takes a seat, and rubs her nose a little with her index finger.

  Isabel announces the news. »Listen, my little dove, our friend Christian may not have sunscreen on his nose, but he comes from—guess what—the Black Forest. In his opinion, anything is possible. Anything is possible.«

  »Really?«, Jessica marvels. »Anything is possible for Christian? Perhaps in his boundless imagination. He’s from the Black Forest, too? Look, Christian, if anything is possible, then it would be the icing on the cake if we met there.«

Over the next two days, Christian shows great interest in Isabel. Jessica looks dazzling and has a much better figure, but Christian thinks she is conceited. What’s more, some things of the woman seem artificial. Christian has his thoughts on this: Her black hair is pseudo; the monthly cost of maintaining her fingernails is probably astronomically high; and by zodiac sign, she is a Gemini. Jessica and me? No, out of the question! None of this fits. She chases along country roads in a sporty beamer, and I chug through the countryside in a Korean rattletrap.

When Isabel leaves, she gives Christian her email address. One day later, Jessica also says goodbye. Christian refrains from exchanging contact details with her. Jessica tells him that she is actually from Offenburg and has only moved to Freiburg to work as an educator. Christian already knew from Isabel that she was an educator. Jessica needs someone to bring her up herself, he thinks as he takes farewell of her.

Christian spends his last evenings on Rhodes in the company of crystal wheat beer or red wine, depending on his mood, and in the morning with a hangover and a longing for a sincere girl. A girl named Laetitia from France crossed his path during this time. She came from Normandy, and her intentions were obvious. She hardly knew any words in German, but for a hussy, she knew the three most important ones for bed: good, deeper, and continue. This made Christian prick up his ears—he had no appetite for a fleeting adventure. So he turned the French girl down. Christian’s wish remained: I need someone for a firm and honest relationship.

Four months have passed. Still-single Christian goes to the historic cathedral in Freiburg. He prays to God. Please give me someone for a firm and honest relationship.

There’s a market on the cathedral square. The potato farmer from Forchheim am Kaiserstuhl is selling delicious homemade chips. Just as he is about to place an order at the trolley, Christian spots Jessica. He almost did not recognize her; her hair was now brown. He calls her name and rushes towards her.

  »Hey, who’s coming?« Jessica greets him. Her face is without make-up, a completely new site for Christian.

  He likes her much better without cosmetics.

  »Hi Jessica. It’s nice to see you again. How are you?«

  »Great. Just think, I’ve become sporty. I sold my sportster for the sake of the environment, and now I cycle a lot. Don’t you?«

  Is Jessica on drugs or on an eco-trip?

  »Of course, my hobby«, he replies.

  »Hey«, Jessica shoots off, »weren’t my words of prophecy right? We’ll meet up sometime. Life is full of surprises, don’t you think?«

  That’s right. When did she stop painting her fingernails?

Jessica tells him that she’s broken up with the guy she started dating in the spring and has been single ever since. She runs a hand over her hair during this confession. The complete idiot is now dating a chick from Pennsylvania.

  Christian is dying to know if she’s still in contact with Isabel because she hasn’t answered any of his emails for a long time. Jessica replies in the affirmative and tells him that the butterfly recently spent her vacation in Poland. Isabel was enthusiastic about Poland, cycling, and Michael, her colleague. She went on this trip with him, and they are now a couple.

»She thought all that was great?« wonders Christian. »Cycling? Poland? And all with that Michael guy too? Didn’t she think he was awful?« asks Christian, suddenly not understanding the world anymore.

  »Why? You wouldn’t have thought so, would you? Anything is possible, my dear. You said that yourself, didn’t you? Those were your own words!«

  »That’s right«, replies Christian. »You’re absolutely right.« Why seek far afield when the good is close by?

  And Christian suddenly realizes what a fool he has been to believe the words of a woman. He feels like a complete idiot for falling for that deceitful Isabel. Wait a minute, he thinks: complete idiot? But surely complete idiots have a good chance of ending up with Jessica?