The Last Call: Hidden in Plain Sight by Onidas J. Beaudin - HTML preview

The Fountain

There is a place that I have seen, it is a place that isn’t what we are used to here.  How it was decided for me to go there I may never know.  It was a journey that I had to completely let go of everything from within myself. To trust that what was being presented to me was the truth that I had been searching for.

I saw a light and a tunnel.  I followed down the tunnel that wound, turned and crossed other tunnels.  I had to jump over the tunnels that crossed through mine like a ditch.  The light stayed ahead of me and I kept following and following until it opened to a small room.  I had to jump over a last cross tunnel to get to this room.  The room looked like a carved out round cave.  It was very loud in there because of a large upward flowing of a vibrant, radiant light that was in the side of the wall.  It was like a river, it was extreme unstoppable power shooting strait up and out of sight past the top of this room.  The room glowed with it and vibrated beneath my feet.

As I was standing looking at the glowing vibrant river I looked to my left. Against the wall was a cloaked man holding a tall wooden staff.  The hood was long, and I could only see the bottom half of his face.  It was to me that he was a type of "keeper" of this room and this upward flowing river of light.  He was there to watch it and I was in his room.

I turned to face him.  He was looking at me and after a pause he motioned with his hand by his waist. A gesture for me to enter the beastly flowing river beside me.  I faced the river and everything about me said NO!  The next thing I knew I was flowing in it and surrounded by it.  It was quiet, not loud anymore and soft, I was just floating.  I started to look around and that is where the story of the fountain starts.

This fountain is where all things come from, an unending fountain of creation.  Anything that I thought of at any moment as I looked around would spring in front of me from the fountain.  Whether it was as small as a boot, or as big as the greatest tree.  There were no limits of size, shape or type.  It was an amazing thing to see.  I was surprised, but also felt some confusion.

The thing about everything that came before me was none of it had any meaning or connotation attached to it. It was just the shape of the object and in fact it was the object itself.  Everything I thought of that appeared to me was like it was nothing, but within this fountain was everything at the same time.

I soon realized that the meanings and connotations were what I had given to these objects throughout my life.  That in their bare essence all objects had no meaning to them.  They just "are".  It’s what we have projected on them to make ourselves feel safe and in control of these objects and this world around us.

The fear and the loss I experienced from these everyday things... as simple as a boot without the projected meaning on it that I'm used to seeing sent me whirling through my soul.  Of who I AM.  If I’m not "that" then Who Am I?  One object after another, I searched for something I could Identify myself with but there was nothing there.

If you think of a great masterful tree, what are all the words, and feelings you could attribute to what you see?  Beautiful!  Majestic!  Harmony!  Life!  Health!  Very Old!  Awe Inspiring!  Strong!

In truth none of those things are there in that tree.  Those are all things we project on to the tree.  The tree just "IS".  We do this projecting with everything and we come from our own individual place of our experience and the path we are following.  It becomes hypnotic for us, to where those meanings we give to the things around us become the truth of what it is.

The trouble is depending upon the path you are following in your own personal choices, you will most definitely give a different set of meanings to the same tree, as another person might who is following a different path.  But it is the same TREE.  The tree has no meaning.  All those wonderful meanings I projected about that majestic tree earlier...  to another who may be a logger, or furniture builder is seeing something different in that same tree.  Or what if you are a person afraid of heights...  that would be in your experience of looking at the tree, which would not be in mine.  If you were a pygmy living in a forest.  It would be "home" when looking at the same tree.  This can be an extreme comparison of different views, but of the same "thing".

Inside one’s head these projections are not even thought about or talked about.  We assume we all see the same thing when we look at everyday life.  We don't.  We see what we see, each.  It obviously can be very similar to one another, but it is unique to each as we have made up our own projection on it as each individual sees it.  It is a projection put on something in less than a blink of an eye.  That's how we go through life.  That's how we Identify with ourselves of who we think we are.  That's a boot, that's a tree and off to work I go.

It’s really these subtle views of things around us that we never notice... Ever.  Until that projection is not there anymore at all.  When the projection you have always had is taken away.  Now there is nothing around to hang on to and say, well this is who I Am, because this is a tree... Look!

Everything I reached for from the fountain when I was in it that makes me feel comfortable, at home, safe, knowing who I AM, had absolutely no meaning, nothing to it but the raw form of what it was.  Everything was stripped away that I had made up about it.

I got desperate and started thinking of random things to try and hang on to and they kept appearing before me from the fountain, but with the same results.  The loss and panic gripped me like I was falling an endless fall.  I didn't know where to go to stop this fall and what to do to regain my feeling safe and in control.

Still trying to use rational thought in this unruly place, I realized that I had been bringing to myself familiar common place things all around me.  "Outside" myself stuff.  Since bringing everything around me out from the fountain that had engulfed me by this time wasn't working...  I turned my full consciousness and attention to going "inside".  My intention was that surely, I do know my body is a true part of who I Am!  I reached the palms of my hands towards myself and put them on each side of my face expecting relief from this experience and a foothold on who I Am again.  For me to regain some control in this situation I was in.  What happened instead was under my hands, was meat.  Like seeing a carcass of a cow.  I could see the muscle tissue and my jaw bone, and the teeth stuck in it.  My body, my face, it was just meat and bone.  I felt almost an embarrassment I could think that meat and bone was who I was.

My panic hadn't slowed down but quickened.  I was about to go deeper inside "Me" to try and find some solace.  I was feeling terror gripping me and a loss of grip on reality as I knew it.  I was completely alone in this place that I had blindly, but willingly come.  I was realizing I didn't know where this would end for me and what kind of state I was headed.

It was rapidly becoming known to me that I had no place to go.  There was no feeling that I had my feet on the ground and some control of this experience of my own existence.

Likened to laying down in a pond I looked above me and through the thick blur of the fountain all around me...  I could see a "Man" dressed in white flowing robes.  He was shimmering... and was outside the pond the fountain had created around me.  I could barely see his shape, he was looking down at me.  His face clearly seeing me as I was literally drowning in this place.

He was standing on what seemed like a platform at the time beside the pond and reaching down to me to help me out of this carnal predicament I was in.  I reached up without hardly a thought when I saw his outstretched hand!  He seemed to be the only thing that was real in this place of the fountain, and he was here to help me!  He pulled me up I could not see his face.  I didn't really try to.  Everything was still such a whirling blur from being in the fountain.  I just wanted out of there and that's what this tall man robed in white was doing for me.  He was saving me.  What he was saving me from I wasn't even sure.  There seemed to be a lack of time, but I knew without a doubt that this man knew where I was and where he was, and I needed to get out of here and go home!

I didn't hesitate to do what he said to do and take his direction.  I walked beside him along a pathway that thankfully lead away from the fountain and the pond.  The path abruptly ended as I looked out into a vast space of black nothingness with my toes hanging off the edge of the path.

The man raised his arm out in front of me and pointed deep ahead into the vastness.  I strained hard to see what it was, I was sure it was important to my survival.  I saw some lights strung in a row.  There looked to be five of them.  They were teeny little lights very far away.  He pointed at the middle one of the five and he said to me somehow without words, “that one there in the middle is where you are from!  With all you have concentrate on that one place and go back there!"  I immediately took to doing what he said. In the blackness the lights got bigger and closer.  I concentrated with every ounce of my being.  I could see my home, and my place that I was from.  I was able to return from the fountain and the pond, but I was never to see my existence the same again!

WHO WAS THIS MAN!? Why was he different and separate from the fountain in that place?  He was comfortable there like it was part of his dwelling.  He plucked me out of there easily, like I was a feather swirling in a ditch.  Those five lights were all different places that had a real existence to them in a different way each.  I could feel and see that as I got closer to them all.  The middle one was just "this" place that "We" live in, and experience in our own way here.  This place is completely real for us.  I don't know what it would be like in the other four places, but they are just as real as here.

This man wasn't "IN" any of those "places".  He wasn't in the fountain either.  I got the feeling he could be in and exist in any of those places and the fountain whenever he wanted and was never locked or trapped in any of them.  He was completely free of all of them!  He had his own existence, an existence we don't understand, free from the "reality" limitations that all these places represented.

These places are all places we get locked into believing each place or situation as being our reality at the time that we are in them.  It doesn't matter even if the reality is "heavenly", it would still be yet one more place that we project ourselves and our own meaning to things that isn't real at all.  Just made up by us in yet a completely different experience in a completely different existence. Good or bad it doesn't matter.

All content that fills everything in existence, comes from the fountain, and flows in to every reality!  Whatever it is that you think of it appears and flows into the reality you are in. You experience it in the way that you choose to do so.  That is what we DO have in this type of machine that we are in.  We can choose what our inner experience is of what’s presented to us.  What’s also important is what we think is created immediately in the fountain and brought forth to us where we are.  There is no limitation to this.

The question remains!  Who was that man at the fountain!?  He was definitely in his own space and free from the bondage we seem to be in.  I know who he was for me, he was deep in my heart, but the "who" he was is still another projection of mine.  None of us know who he was    but! ... it IS who we are to BECOME!!