The Confident Heart. From Fear to LOVE by Nils Klippstein - HTML preview
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The Mask of the Controller
This mask is designed to give the appearance of command and competence. When we wear it, we create the illusion that we can silence our internal chaos by managing the outside world perfectly. However, this has nothing to do with true leadership skills. The controller has a desperate need for dominance to protect themselves.
- Core motivation: Preventively managing the external world to avoid feelings of internal helplessness, chaos or inadequacy.
- Tactics: Dominance, criticism, micromanagement, offering unsolicited advice, setting rigid rules and using intellect to dismiss emotions.
- Hidden payoff: A temporary, false sense of order and safety. The belief that if we are in control, we cannot be hurt.