The Confident Heart. From Fear to LOVE by Nils Klippstein - HTML preview
PLEASE NOTE: This is an HTML preview only and some elements such as links or page numbers may be incorrect.
Download the book in PDF, ePub, Kindle for a complete version.
Download the book in PDF, ePub, Kindle for a complete version.
6. A New Relationship with Fear
We don't always need to put a name to our fears. In fact, trying to find the 'correct' label can be a way for the ego to stay stuck in the mind, analysing instead of feeling. The most important step is simply acknowledging the signal.
Fear is not a subtle emotion. It announces itself in the body with a unique and unmistakable sensation. We may experience a tight feeling in our stomach, a sudden chill, a racing heart, overwhelming nervousness, or a constriction in our throat. These are our protective impulses sounding an alarm. It's an ancient, simple system that cannot tell the difference between a true physical threat and emotional vulnerability. Its job is simply to shout 'DANGER!'
The moment you sense this signal, your work begins. The aim is not to fight the fear, attempt to fully understand its historical roots or engage in mental arguments with it at that moment. What you need to do is shift your state from panic to presence and acceptance:
- Reality check: Ask the fear whether there is a real, imminent danger here: "Am I actually unsafe, or am I just feeling vulnerable?" Since the ego often experiences vulnerability and danger in the same way, this simple question helps to distinguish between the two. This takes the edge off the panic because you acknowledge the fear without letting it control you.
- Heart-centred breathing: Immediately after the reality check, focus your attention on your heart centre. Breathe normally, directing your awareness to the sensation of your breath moving in and out of your chest. Feel your chest rising and falling. Breathe LOVE in and out through your heart centre. If you wish, imagine it softly glowing. This shifts the centre of your consciousness from the frantic, fearful part of your mind to the steady, intelligent space of your heart. From here, you can simply observe from the safe harbour of your own presence.
Once you have shifted your state through the reality check and heart-centered awareness, you create a new space. Now, you can begin a new conversation with your fears, gently reassuring your perhaps overzealous inner protector through a new, compassionate dialogue.
- If you wish, you can acknowledge and thank the fear. Silently, in your mind, speak to the sensation: "Thank you. I feel you. I know you are trying to protect me." This may feel strange at first. You are not agreeing with the catastrophic story that the fear is telling you, but you are validating the intention behind it: your own inner system's desire to keep you safe. This acknowledgement drains the fear of its power, allowing it to calm down.
- While continuing to breathe through your heart centre, you can now engage in curious inquiry. Ask yourself: "What is the worst possible outcome that could happen?" Allow the answer to arise without judgement. Often, bringing this shadowy, unnamed worst-case scenario into the light of conscious awareness instantly deflates its power. You will see that it is often just a painful but manageable outcome, such as feeling embarrassed, being rejected or making a mistake, and not usually a literal threat to your survival.
- Having faced the 'worst', you can now allow yourself to feel it and fully accept and embrace this possibility. You are breathing, you are present, and the feared catastrophe probably won't actually happen. Even if it does, you would be able to handle it. You are showing your protective system that your conscious heart is a capable leader.
The process of walking through your fears is about reparenting your inner world. It teaches your nervous system that vulnerability is not an overwhelming threat and that your heart can provide more balanced and confident guidance through life's uncertainties than the ego's frantic alarms.
...
You can read more about how to work with your fears through full embodiment in my book, A Kind of Magick. Look for the chapter The Fear of Awakening.