THE GOOD GIRL IS TIRED by Fortune Stanley - HTML preview
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Copyright © 2026 Fortune Stanley
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This book is a work of reflection and personal commentary. The experiences and situations described are drawn from realities that many women encounter, but they should not be taken as a description of every woman's life or every Nigerian family.
To the woman who has spent so much time being there for everyone else that she forgot what it feels like to be there for herself.
To the daughter who learned to be obedient before she learned to speak.
To the woman who stayed because everybody told her to be patient.
To the woman who smiled at church on Sunday and cried alone on Monday.
To the woman who keeps saying, "I'm fine," because she does not know what would happen if she finally admitted that she isn't.
And to the woman who is slowly learning that choosing herself does not make her a bad woman.
This is for you.
The Girl Who Was Always Called "A Good Girl"
There is a particular kind of tiredness that sleep cannot fix.
It is the tiredness of always being the one who understands.
The one who says, "It's okay," when it is not okay.
The one who says sorry first because she hates conflict.
The one who keeps giving because she does not know how to watch someone struggle when she has the ability to help.
The one who stays quiet because she does not want to be called disrespectful.
The one who forgives quickly because she was taught that holding a grudge is not Christian.
The one who is hurting in her relationship but keeps praying because she does not want people to say she gave up too easily.
The one who is almost thirty and has heard, "When are you getting married?" so many times that she has started wondering whether something is wrong with her.
The one who wants more from life but is afraid that wanting more will make her look ungrateful.
Maybe you know her.
Maybe you are her.
I know her too.
She is the Nigerian girl who was taught to greet everyone properly.
She was taught to respect elders.
She was taught not to answer back.
She was taught to help in the kitchen.
She was taught to dress properly.
She was taught to protect the family name.
She was taught that a woman should know how to keep a home.
She was told to be patient.
She was told to be humble.
She was told not to be too demanding.
She was told not to be too loud.
She was told not to have too many opinions.
She was told not to behave in a way that would make a man run away.
And somewhere between all those instructions, she learned how to become acceptable.
She learned how to smile when she was uncomfortable.
She learned how to swallow anger.
She learned how to apologise even when she had been hurt.
She learned how to carry responsibilities quietly.
She learned how to become useful.
She learned how to become needed.
What she did not always learn was how to ask herself a very simple question.
What do I want?
That question can be surprisingly difficult.
For a woman who has spent her entire life considering everybody else, "What do I want?" can sound almost selfish.
What will my father say?
What will my siblings need?
What will my church say?
What will my friends say?
What will my husband think?
What will his family think?
What will people say?
There is always somebody to consider.
And there is the woman herself, somewhere at the bottom of the list.
This book is about that woman.
It is about the woman who has spent years trying to be good and is beginning to wonder whether goodness was ever supposed to cost this much.
It is about Nigerian women, but it is also about something much wider.
It is about the messages many girls receive about femininity, respectability, marriage, sacrifice, obedience and love.
Some of those lessons are valuable.
Respect matters.
Kindness matters.
Family matters.
Commitment matters.
Faith matters.
Sacrifice has its place.
But there is a difference between being kind and being available for everybody's demands.
There is a difference between respecting people and being afraid to disagree with them.
There is a difference between patience and tolerating repeated harm.
There is a difference between compromise and disappearing.
There is a difference between loving someone and losing yourself inside the relationship.
The good girl eventually discovers these differences.
Sometimes she discovers them gently.
Sometimes life teaches her.
Sometimes heartbreak teaches her.
Sometimes motherhood teaches her.
Sometimes an empty bank account teaches her.
Sometimes a failed relationship teaches her.
Sometimes she reaches a point where she looks at her own life and quietly asks: "When did I become this tired?"
That
question
is
where
this