Last night I was very miserable. I had probably gotten up too quickly after the clearing, but I was so cold all I wanted was to put my coat on. I was so terribly cold I thought I would never be warm again. When I arrived home, I immediately put on flannelette pyja-mas, thick wool socks, and my poncho from Peru, and got into bed and covered up with several layers of blankets. I listened to part II of the Epstein tape. When it was over, I was crying. I know about Innate Intelligence. I have never doubted it.
The crystal I saw in the flash of a second, was that Valerie’s skull crystal? Did its quirky, smiling face actually pass before my inner eyes? I thanked it for helping me. I know it does. I have nothing to prove it by, but there have been too many coincidences not to believe that her crystal has taken the time to help with my healing. I am very grateful and my thanking it was honest. That is when I remembered the Rainbow crystal that appeared to me at the end of our last meditation in Machu Picchu.
When we had had our ceremony at the vortex, I felt really silly with my puny little crystal cluster. The others had special ones, very particular to them, very precious. Valerie had the skull crystal. I had nothing except this little one I had bought in Ottawa; nothing much.
As someone said, it is what it is. Still, I wished I could find a really special one among those the native people were selling by the dozen.
It is said that one should only purchase a crystal if it speaks to you.
None had spoken to me, and I kept wondering if there would ever be a special crystal for me.
At our last meditation, while the shaman was chanting and Anna was saying a blessing, I saw in my mind’s eye this incredible structure.
It was at least twelve feet tall; a pyramid made of crystal. It radiated all the colours of the rainbow and twirled and hummed. It sat squarely in the middle of our circle. It was magnificent! As I sat there admiring it, even though my eyes were closed, it started to move, almost
collapsing into itself, and it dove (that is the only way I can describe it) into my forehead, entering my third eye. The chanting stopped. I opened my eyes. The meditation was over. The lights were gone. The group was relaxed and, though it was pitch black, I think we all felt connected to each other and everyone was enjoying the night.
I did not purchase a crystal in Machu Picchu, but I had been given an incredible, mystical rainbow crystal. I could never lose it. I could never break it. It would be with me everywhere and for every moment of my life. I did not understand the meaning of the rainbow crystal, but I was very thankful for it. I also thought I understood why so many of the Inca statues have a rainbow on their foreheads, which they wear as a crown.
I came back to Ottawa flying high from the visions and experiences at the Citadel, but all it took was one clearing day at Hell’s healing centre to lose my wings and come crashing down, and crash I did. I lay there in several pieces, unable to put myself together again, then the darkness came and I thought it was the end of me. No more Michelle.
All gone! But there must have been some life still left in me, because when I went to visit Stéphane, all it took was one comment from my mother at the dinner table, in front of his family and his wife’s family, to make me feel as if I’d been kicked in the stomach, and to send pain through me again. Soon my right arm started to hurt. I can type with a sore arm, but I cannot drive if I can’t lift my arm for the pain or feel my hand for the numbness. I need that right arm in good working order to shift gears. I made an appointment with Hell for an adjustment. He lent me the tape and I listened to it last night and drifted into a meditation with the rainbow crystal and Micha.
There it was again, right there before my closed eyes. I took it and I brought it into that awful room where Micha is hanging from the ceiling. It is so cold there. She is so cold — all naked and dirty. I took a piece of the rainbow and I wrapped her in it as I took her down from the hook. I told her, as Dr. Sheppard has taught me, what a marvellous child she is. How brave and how strong she is. I told her how she made me the strong person I am today. How I raised my son and how I managed as a single mom. How I got this great job and bought
my own place. I told her that this strength comes from her and that I am very grateful for it.
Then she was wearing a wonderful dress that was all lights and colours, and she laughed and giggled, stomping her naked feet. She was so beautiful to watch. She twirled and danced, and I wished I could paint the picture I saw. I joined her and we danced, holding hands. We were dancing inside the beautiful pyramid; right inside the colours of the rainbow crystal. We were no longer cold. We were not separate, we were one. I know — we know — the rainbow crystal is there now, and every time I go into that dark place I will bring Micha inside the crystal, and there she will shine and sparkle and she will be as warm as toast, and I will laugh and giggle, watching her dance, and I will no longer be cold.
That is the gift of Machu Picchu, the gift of the rainbow crystal.
It is my crystal forever. I cannot hang it around my neck; no one will ever see it; but I will cherish this magical secret.
Jan. 19, 2000 (NSA journal after adjustment) Today I felt…relaxed for a change. The neck treatment is wonderful. It warms me up somehow. I don’t feel cold tonight. I feel rather sleepy. I think, but I’m not sure, that some space opened up in my neck. Also felt at times, as my head turned all the way to the right, that I may be searching for something. Tonight I seemed to be in the park where I fell off the parallel bars when I was seven years old. That’s when I hurt my neck so badly.
Jan. 23, 2000 (Letter to Hell)
I wrote what is on the reverse side, the night of December 5. I just wanted to let you know that your meditation tapes are appreciated, in spite of the fact that I always resent it when you ask, “How do you feel? What is going on?” (Because it is usually different from everybody else!) I do not play well with others. But please know that I do pay attention.
Jan. 26, 2000 (NSA journal after adjustment) Today I felt…as if I had a good clearing today. I may finally have figured it out. When Hell puts pressure on the back of my neck, it
resonates in my chest. That is probably why the coughing. Also, my heart seems to beat faster. I simply love the neck treatment.
Jan. 29, 2000 (Dream)