Still Life by Edward Drobinski - HTML preview
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Still Life
Page 179
Genre: Satirical workplace comedy Setting: A corporate onboarding seminar run by a sentient PowerPoint named Clive
Premise: Martin, a middle-aged white man with a podcast no one listens to, starts a new job at a tech company that prides itself on "radical transparency." On Day One, he's asked to fill out a "Gut Instinct Risk Matrix" about his new coworkers. He's seated between Jamal (Black, calm, reads bell hooks during lunch) and Bryce (White, owns three snakes and refers to his exes as "collateral damage").
Martin, trying to be progressive but also deeply paranoid, marks Bryce as "high risk" due to his collection of medieval weaponry and a tendency to whisper "soon" during meetings. Jamal, meanwhile, is flagged by the company's AI as "statistically over-surveilled," triggering a pop-up that reads: "Would you like to unpack your implicit bias now or later?"
Key Scenes:
Martin tries to bond with Jamal by quoting Maya Angelou but accidentally recites lyrics from a Coldplay song.
Bryce invites Martin to his "knife juggling improv night," which HR flags as a "potentially kinetic liability."