Still Life by Edward Drobinski - HTML preview
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Still Life
Page 174
Workplace Surveillance
At the Ministry, Gerald reviews surveillance footage of a janitor who accidentally dropped a spoon into a bowl of chunky stew.
Gerald: "This is a Level 4 Incident. We'll need a full psychological profile and a palate audit."
Intern: "But sir, it was just a stew."
Gerald: "That's what they said about salsa. Look where that got us."
Evening Entertainment
The most popular reality show is "Spread or Shred," where contestants must build sandwiches that appease all factions. One week, a contestant is exiled for using crunchy pickles without a permit.
Host: "You've been .... de-crumbed."
Audience: Gasps, then erupts into factional chants.