CHUM by John T Buckley - HTML preview

“I died on that same cliff myself, too many DAMN times,” confessed Dustin as his eyes started feeling wet. “I’m sorry, friend, I mistook you for the keeper of other people’s lies. Now I know, if I die, a part of me will live in you. It’s that, and that alone, that binds us all together,” Dustin paused and then continued, “I’ll drive ya anywhere you wanna go, but I can’t wait forever.” Dustin sat down on the rock; and rubbed his right elbow (like nothing had happened).

The crowd started to clap (everyone was truly blown away at the fragility Jack and Dustin had just shown) and they keep it up for 5 minutes. Jack sat there staying in character, but also realizing he had just been a part of something special.

“That was awesome, Jack, why didn’t you stay a bit longer?” Jen asked as she walked arm and arm with Jack down the street. This, as the crowd was still cheering for him on the Easy Rider set (Jack didn’t mind).

“It’s one thing to peak, it’s another to wait beyond your peak,” Jack said confidently as he smiled as warm as Sunday apple pie. “For that set, and that material, there was nothing left to say.”

Jim listened intently to Jack; and he could see now he was truly gifted. Jim started to feel an incredible urge to get his own applause (acting was a competition if you were any good). He looked around at the sets for Star Wars, 1984, and Blade Runner, but he was still looking. He didn’t want to use up what he had, unless it was perfect.

Then Jen saw Pride and Prejudice; and she debated taking a run at a British accent (but she had Ben on her mind). They walked over to the Scarface set, and it was bloody (and vomit-inducing). There were dead bodies lying around, people drunk and high and fake bullets were being fired at everyone (by a

young Canadian actor named Michael Foundtree). He looked a bit like Pacino, but he was a half foot taller. He screamed out his line,” SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!” Then he tripped on the blood and fell on his gun. The other actors riddled him with fake bullets; and holographic blood was heaped on him in splashes of red.

“Come on now, really?” Fred considered this set seriously. “I missed out on playing that role. I wonder when they’re gonna fire this scene up again?” asked Fred. “Wait here for a second,” Fred said as he looked around for the director. Then he saw a man sitting behind a tree in a director’s chair; and he hurried over to him.

“Fred going for Scarface, I would have thought Pee-Wee’s big adventure,” Jim joked as he watched Fred. “Just saying, no I’m sure he can act,” Jim said as he started to chuckle at Foundtree getting kicked, and continually shot by the holographic gang members. Michael was trying not to laugh, but it had been going on way too long for him not to.

“Jim?” asked Jen softly.

“Yeah what?” asked Jim nonchalantly.

“Fred’s actually very good, wait and see,” Jen continued, “I’m telling ya, wait and see.” Jen was happy for Fred (he’d earned it). And then she rested her head on Jim’s chest.

“It’s true, you’ll really be surprised,” Scott replied as he sucked on a Dr. Pepper pop. “Fred’s a badass, won an acting award last year in a summer stock play. Watch and learn,” said Scott slyly as he pulled out a cigarette and pinned it behind his ear. Scott was looking down the road at Rebel Without a Cause (still wanting to go to the Griffith Observatory). He knew that would be one sweet scene to jump in and stay in for awhile.

“Really, Fred a badass?” asked Jim in disbelief with his eyes squinting like noonday sun. “Man, well you never can tell, I mean right? So, he probably won’t embarrass us all to lives of SHAME.

Although, he might be that nice to us,” Jim wisecracked. “Fred’s a giver, just ask Fred,” Jim said sarcastically as he kept taking peeks down the street-there was some sort of large commotion down around the corner-where the road went to the left and to a row of large stages. He was wondering what was drawing the big crowds around the corner.

“Here he comes,” Jen said as she saw Fred walking over with an “I just got laid” smile on his face.

“Well?” Scott asked.

“Scott, I can get this role in an hour, but I want you in it,” Fred continued, “Would you like to be the assassin, and I’ll be Tony?”

“Fred, the assassin sucks!” Scott said indignantly as his jaw dropped quicker than power lines in a Northeaster. “What if we rotate scenes? Like I’ll start off as Tony, and then you take the death scene at the end?” Scott asked as he put his hands in his pockets and grimaced. Scott wanted the same role as Fred, bad. And Scott thought he could make him cave.

“No way, that sucks,” Fred rebuffed with his worst stink face making an appearance. “I want Tony, and you owe me a favor anyway. Just, whatever other role you take, I’ll play the stiff. How’s that?”

asked Fred.

“Fine, I’ll do it, because I know you love this role,” Scott agreed.

“YES!” Fred spoke with a high pitched almost crow sounding voice. “I need this, Jim, like bad.

You wait ‘til you see me, I mean total commitment. I don’t hold back, and I play the scene, Jim,” Fred said excitedly, as he patted Jim on the left shoulder and then acted like he was eating his head.

“Yeah, I know all about it, Fred,” Jim said his mind feeling invigorated to act something, anything.

“That said do you mind if the rest of us play gang members? Because I would love to shoot you dead,

and watch you suffer. No, nothing personal, it’d just be fun,” Jim said as he tried not to laugh, but he couldn’t help himself.

Jen chuckled, moved her left leg like she was part ballroom dancer, and then grabbed Fred by the arms and asked,” Yeah, Fred, we want in, will you let us? I promise to upstage you.”

“Yeah, of course, but don’t upstage the talent,” Fred said as he cracked his knuckles and surveyed the crowd for hecklers. “I can’t have you going too far off script, Jen,” said Fred as he made a face like a wounded 9 year old-minus the blood and dirt stains-and looked intently at Jen. Fred worried Jim would have to steal the scene. And Fred was really hoping Jim wouldn’t act with him (not yet, not until he proved himself).

“Fred, you’re so Jim Nuts right now,” Jen joked with a hollow smile reminiscent of bad movies from the seventies. “Fine, we’ll let you take the glory, but I want to go look around for awhile. So why don’t you hang here, and we’ll be back, hmm?” asked Jen happily as she karate chopped Fred in the stomach softly. Fred smiled, looked around cautiously-as he didn’t want to lose his friends in the crowd-and covered his stomach with his hands.

“Great, but don’t be late.”

Then they all walked off down the street; and they checked out each new movie set as they did.

They went past several movies in production on the large stages (typically it was considered great cache to make movies on Veraclare). They were using sets from 2001: A Space Odyssey-simply changing the color scheme and camera angle- and One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

“Hey, hey look!” Jim’s voice excited and youthful all at once. “I almost forgot they have a vast section of holograms using the actual real actor’s brainwaves, and scans. Oh man, look its Forrest Gump.

Wow, Tom Hanks really looked like a goober in that one,” Jim said as he walked up to the entryway to HOLOGRAPHIC HEAVEN, as it read on a gold arch above the street. They stood there looking in at the

bevy of famous actors walking the streets (their bellies in knots and their minds on fire). Then Jen looked up and saw a large gold sign.

“If you’re disrespectful to the actors, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts,” Jen said happily as she pointed to the sign. “Oh that is too good, Jim, let’s cross the threshold,” Jen said playfully as she dipped her foot into the holographic side. And as she did, her clothes on that side morphed into holographic white cotton pants, and pink lacy socks.

“That’s interesting, it must be that anti-gravity technology I heard of,” Jim muttered as his took in a deep-chest filling-breath. “They create pockets of gravity at certain points. Then they use holograms to add flare to the clothing. Well I’m game,” Jim said as he stepped through the archway. Then Jim’s clothes changed to an Amish farmer’s work clothes.

Scott and Jack stepped through just after Jen; and they all ended up in multi-colored clothing (mostly made of denim and old cut up shirts). Jen suddenly had on a shirt reading I’M WITH THE BAND; I’M

THE LEAD GUITAR PLAYER. Scott also had on a red crushed velvet hat with a cotton lining. Jack had on a black denim short sleeved shirt, and red leather work boots.

“They must really enjoy doing this,” surmised Jack as he smiled. “I know I sure am,” Jack said sarcastically as he walked along with certain pep in his step. Then he saw Mel Gibson in Braveheart.

And he knew he wanted to share some air with that buzzard.

“Where are you going?” Scott asked as he watched Jack half jogging over to Braveheart.

Jack spun around and said jokingly,” TO FREEDOM!”

“That’s AWESOME, man he really has a flare for things,” Jim said as he waded through the crowd.

“I need to take this all in. There’s literally Robert Redford-from the Natural-throwing pitches to the Wammer, 3 feet from me. Holy shit, this is blowing my mind,” said Jim in disbelief as he watched Robert Redford throw his second pitch and then say ” Watch your mouth, mister” causing Jim to laugh.

“Hey, Hayseed, I bet you can’t strike out Jim Nuts here in 3 pitches,” Jen said jokingly as she walked towards the short man playing the Wammer (he was named Ed Holden). Ed looked over angrily; and then tossed Jim the bat, and waved him over.

“Jen, I haven’t seen this movie in years firstly,” Jim said hollowly as he had seen it right before he left. “And secondly I haven’t swung a bat in several years. Usually embarrassment follows such things.”

“Jim Nuts, just swing it, you’ll be fine,” Jen reassured as she rubbed his lower back. “Let’s go, JIM

NUTS! Come on, everyone cheer him on!” Jen yelled as she clapped her hands and pushed Jim towards the grass. This was where Robert Redford stood. Jim knew it. And when he looked up Robert was glaring back at him.

“Jim, you can do it, REMEMBER THE ALAMO!” Scott said loudly as he clapped like a sea lion.

Jim took the bat and started taking practice swings. And suddenly he felt at ease, better now with this wood in his hands, and he snapped into character.

“You gonna throw that shit or what?!” Jim demanded as he slammed the tip of the bat hard into the ground, and then spit in his hands.

“Watch it!” Robert snapped. “I don’t take to that language,” Robert Redford said indignantly as he walked around the patch of grass he was throwing from. Jim stuck out his tongue, grabbed his balls, and then his gut and the crowd laughed. Robert went into his long windup. And he tossed it just past Jim’s belly (perfect strike).

“Whoa, I wasn’t ready yet, hayseed,” Jim cried as he spit in Robert’s direction. “Maybe we play this above the board, huh?” Jim snorted as he tucked his shirt into his overalls and spit again (this time at the crowd).

“I warned you, Mister, and when I show you what for you’ll wish for daylight,” Robert said sharply as David Duvall came over and whispered in his ear” Blow it past him, nothing else.” Jim cackled and swung the bat the wrong direction a few times (for spite).

“I’m warning you, Hay for brains, you hit me with that ball, and there’s gonna be the wrong kind of trouble over here,” Jim said as he hit the makeshift plate-a red plastic dish pushed deep into the ground reading OLD BETH’S TASTY PIES-3 times with the tip of his bat. “I’ve been known for my pugilist ways, all over, Hayseed,” Jim said snidely as he grinned and watched Robert-completely committed to playing the Roy Hobbs character-warming up and he wished his dad was there to see this. Jim’s dad Carl loved the Natural; and would have given anything to see just this one scene.

“No sir, he’ll bring the hospital bill right to your door, Sir. I’d be careful,” Robert Duvall replied as he got out of way and laughed like an old man finding a young heart. Jim watched this happening and he suddenly realized the pitch Robert had just thrown, was not very fast at all. He suddenly felt the urge to crush it (his mind filling with high school baseball memories against Caribou high, where he hit a homer for the first time).

Then Robert went into his long windup; and threw the pitch right down the pipe. Jim hit it right out of the hayfield and into the movie Unforgiven. It clipped Clint Eastwood’s right ear, and he glared back-directly at Jim-not knowing what had happened.

“Oh, that’s gone like wind in a teacup,” Jim said as he pumped his fist in a circle. “Come tell the big daddy, what suppa gonna be,” Jim said sarcastically as he ran the nonexistent bases. This while Robert looked around in shock, and then threw his glove at Jim’s head. Jim ducked it, and felt a tinge of anger starting to brew. Jim would not stand for any violence on his person (Roy Hobbs or not).

“What’s your beef with me, huh?” Robert barked as he paced back and forth. “Ya know baseball ain’t played like that, meant to be pure. You beat me, fine, then you win,” Robert said as he looked at his

hand. “All that other stuff I don’t have to take,” Robert snapped sternly as he walked towards Jim pointing his finger at his face.

Jen saw this and she was in heaven; as she couldn’t believe how amazing this place was. Then she saw Jim start for Robert. And she started to laugh, but then abruptly stopped and remembered Ben Train.

She needed to find him today, and give him what she thought he needed. She hoped he would enjoy acting with her, because she in some way wished it would heal him.

“Yeah, yeah shut your yap,” Jim snorted as he got ready to throw down with Robert. “I’ve pounded losers like Roy Hobbs many times. You want some of the skunk?” Jim asked sternly as he threw the bat over Robert’s head; and he kept heading towards him. Robert sprinted at Jim and they started all out brawling. Suddenly Jim realized the anti-gravity gave Robert’s holographic body the same feeling as the real one. And at the very least he knew the punches hurt the same.

“Jim, flip him over,” Scott said as he moved closer to the fight.

“What, oh yeah,” Jim answered awkwardly as he grabbed Robert around the waist, and flipped him hard onto the ground. Robert writhed in pain, and Jim punched him hard in the head a few times (just for spite). Then Jim said in disbelief,” I can’t believe I’m beating up Roy Hobbs, this is INCREDIBLE!”

Jen laughed, sighed, and bent over at the waist; but as she did she felt a pair of eyes on her. She looked back and saw a man wearing all black-including round black sunglasses-and he looked right at her. His name was Pothacary Blim, but everyone called him just Blim. Blim glared at her and then started working his way over to her.

“JIM!” Jen cried as she moved away from the crowd of onlookers (and away from Blim).

Then Jim looked up and asked,” What, I’m kinda busy?”

“Some guy’s coming after me!” Jen said nervously as she ran-with Scott doing the same-past Robert Duvall and over to Jim.

They looked up, and Blim had broken free of the crowd and was heading right for them. Jim looked at Blim and he was reminded of the Cherry Picker gang in Boston (they wore the same dress as Blim).

Jim threw Robert Redford aside-like a bag of garbage-and stood up.

“What the fuck do you want?” Jim asked angrily as he glared at Blim; and he got his fists ready to fight him if he had to.

“Just her, I have a special gift for her,” Blim said hollowly as he smiled a smile repo men call genuine. “Please, don’t be an idiot. I could kill you if I wanted to. And I don’t need to be burying bodies. Come now, hurry up,” Blim insisted sternly with a voice that sounded like he had been through throat surgery (2 packs a day for 30 years). The echo his voice produced put everyone who heard him on edge.

Jim carefully watched his hands; and saw he was carrying a pistol in his pocket.

Scott stepped forward and said defiantly,” Not gonna happen, beat it!”

Blim grinned, shuffled his feet, and grabbed Scott around the wrist; slamming him hard on the ground. Then Blim said calmly,” I’ll kill you all if I have to. But she won’t be working with Ben Train anytime soo-”

“Hey, you’re Beth’s goon aren’t ya?” Jen interrupted as she kept her body sideways towards Blim (made her harder to shoot). “Jim, you gotta kick some ass,” Jen said urgently as she moved directly in behind Jim.

“I got ya, so you’re feeling tough?” Jim asked snidely his hands bouncing side to side like a well oiled metronome. “You look like a Cherry picker to me. I’m ready for ya, Pal, COME ON!” Jim said

coldly as he watched the body of Blim and not any part in particular (he knew he needed to see his strike coming). He had a feeling Blim knew some form of karate, but so did Jim.

“You’ll all die here, and for nothing,” Blim responded as he took off his coat and showed his muscle bound physique. He took an aggressive karate pose; and worked from side to side as he neared Jim and Jen (he couldn’t just shoot Jen or he might hit someone else in the crowd by accident).

Jim waited patiently-hardly showing any emotion-and then saw Blim step awkwardly on a bent Washington quarter (the coin had fallen out of Robert Redford’s pocket during the scuffle). Jim seized his opportunity and punched him hard in the chest. Blim fell back, and Jim leapt on top of him; like a wild eagle to a warm feast of flesh.

“Get him, JIM!” Jen shouted as she tried to help out Jim-but Jim didn’t need any help-as he ground and pounded Blim. Blim tried to get Jim into a submission hold, but Jim headbutted him under the chin causing Blim to lose his grip.

“Hey, Jen, we need to help Jim,” Scott said frantically as he started to work his way around to the back of Blim’s head.

Jen laughed and said happily,” No we don’t.”

Then Jim landed a good right hand to the mouth of Blim; and it knocked him out cold.

“Yeah, you take a little sleep,” Jim said snidely as he looked down on Blim. “Might give you some manners, Jerk-off,” Jim said coldly with his hand on Blim’s newly bloody ear. Then Jim stood up and screamed. The crowd cheered, and Robert Redford offered Jim his hand to shake. Jim took it and they shook hands.

“I see I figured you wrong, Mister, you know hardship,” Robert said warmly as he tapped Jim on the shoulder with his ball cap. “That sort of thing makes friends out of enemies, all over. Hope I see ya

again someday,” Robert said as he looked Jim in the eye. Then he tapped Jim on the stomach with the back of his hand; and walked off with Robert Duvall throwing him his leather pocketbook (even the money inside was authentic for the time period).

“Whoa, so yummy tummy, Jim, I’m impressed,” Jen spoke in a little girl’s voice as she rubbed her stomach.

“Jen, I’m having the time of my life,” Jim confessed as he looked around in a haze. “I can’t believe I don’t live here for god sakes. Well, let’s keep looking around I need some ah…I kicked his ass food,”

Jim said happily as he walked through the cheering crowd and out to the main strip.

Then they heard Jack’s voice-roaring over the masses-as he walked up to the set; and he was smiling and wearing the Braveheart blue makeup. Jack smiled and said jokingly,” I am William Wallace, goat lover and man who does not bath. Who will follow me to BAT-ULL, and more?”

“Ah ha haa, good delivery,” said Jim as he clapped for Jack. “How was your scene?” Jim asked as he rubbed his shoulder and looked around in awe of it all.

“Incredible, I played one of Mel Gibson’s friends,” Jack replied happily as he kicked a can into the garbage vents on the side of the road (they went down into a recycling center below the city, with sorters working there all day and all night. It was huge business). “Remember that Irish guy, who said it was his island?”

“That guy?” asked Jen in disbelief.

“Yes, that guy and it was so much fun,” Jack said as he looked back for his next scene cue. “I shaded him a little crazier and the crowd loved it. I got 3 standing O’s, and then I just got sick of bowing and left. So, have you tried anything yet?” Jack asked as he strutted along like he was much taller and stronger than he actually was.

Jim grinned at this, and looked at Jen and Scott. Scott nodded and then said hollowly,” No, hell no, we’re still looking around.”

“O.k., well we better find something quick, they’re filling up fast,” Jack spoke as if he could do no wrong. “This guy here told me there’s an acting troop from Denver that just arrived. And if that weren’t enough, they’re gonna flood the streets in an hour or so. Just saying,” Jack said as he looked over at Jim.

And Jack could tell Jim was locked in thought.

Jim eyed the biggest stage of them all; it was a few hundred yards down the street. He knew it had to be one of the bigger movies, but he didn’t know which one (even judging by the odd sets).

“Yeah, you’re right, I need to be acting,” Jim tried to cough, but his throat was too dry. “Because if I’m not, what’s the point right?” asked Jim as he kept his eyes on the big stage. And then he saw a man walk out. He watched this man thinking he had a cool walk and way to him. Then Jim realized it was Ben Train, and his heart nearly stopped. He stood where he was, trying not to stare, and hoping to stay calm.

“Jim, are you alright?” Jen asked her mind also on acting more than anything she was doing at the moment. “You look sick and not alright,” Jen rubbed Jim’s back and his shoulders.

Jim pointed with his hand and then dry heaved.

“What is he pointing at..,” Jack asked before seeing Ben Train up ahead (and now he felt instant panic). He knew who the best actor was along with EVERYBODY ELSE. And he thought he would be carefree seeing him, but he was as far from that as you could get.

Jen looked at Jim intently. Then she looked up and saw down the hill to the stage where some man was flipping out. She started to smile and then muttered,” Ben?”

“BEN?” Scott asked in disbelief. “Holy cow, it is him. Let’s hurry down there,” Scott said excitedly as he watched the crowd marveling at Ben’s talent. Jen started to run and she didn’t even know why. She sprinted away from Jim and Scott; and she headed right for the stage. She got around the corner of the stage; and ducked a man’s elbow as he stretched out.

“Excuse me, I didn’t mean to breathe near you,” Jen said ruefully as she moved away from the man that had almost hit her. She wormed her way through the crowd. Then she came face to face with Ben Train (not even 2 feet from her).

“Chum, how’s a little ice cream to fill that belly?” Ben asked warmly as he made his hand appear to be holding an ice cream cone. “That belly still got my car keys in it?” asked Ben sarcastically as he was handed the two strawberry ice cream cones by the YES, IT’S FROZEN ice cream parlor employee. He spun around and Chum was running over to him, and smiling.

“Thank you, thanks, and thank you sooo much more,” Chum said happily as he took the cone and started biting off big chunks of ice cream and molasses. Chum was cuter in person that Jen remembered, but he made her happy just to see him.

“Chum, oh god it’s actually Chum, AHH this is awesome,” Jen said excitedly as she eyed Chum.

Ben put his hand on Chum’s head, carefully, and they walked along through the warm sunshine. Jim looked at Jen up ahead, and he had to smile. He knew how much Ben and Chum meant to her, because they meant everything to him.

“Chum?” Ben asked.

“Yes, ice cream giver?” Chum asked jokingly as he grinned mischievously. Then Chum patted Ben on the leg with the side of his hand.

Ben looked down at him, and smiled as he messed up his hair. Then Ben saw Chum’s ice cream falling off his cone; and he tried to stop it, but it was too late. The ice cream hit the ground and Chum froze in his steps. Ben slapped him and said angrily,” Damn it, Chum! I go to all this trouble and you waste it, wasted now! Why should I even let you eat you’re so stupid?”

Chum teared up, and he tried rubbing his cheek in a circle to help with the pain, but it wasn’t working. He knew if he cried he would get slapped again. He looked down and away from Ben and then said softly,” I sorry, it slipped.”

“Slipped my ass, you DROPPED IT!” Ben cried as he lifted his hand again to slap him. “Well I’ll tell ya what, it’s not going to waste,” said Ben as he glared at Chum. “Reach down there and grab a handful. Go ahead, hurry,” Ben said sternly as he glared at Chum, and then pointed to the ice cream. Ben was at his wits end with Chum (due to his clumsy nature).

“Do I really have to?” Chum asked sadly as he fought back tears.

“YES!” Ben answered. “Let’s go, Chum, you’re not wasting my money this time. NOW,” Ben said angrily as he grabbed Chum around the shirt collar-the collar ripping as he did (which was not in the original script)-and pushed Chum’s head towards the ice cream.

Jen watched this and sobbed for poor Chum. It reminded her of her own upbringing in so many ways. She thought of the time her dad made her eat all the cereal she had thrown into the trash, because he thought it was TERRIBLE TO WASTE FOOD. She held her hand over her mouth and muttered,”

Please, Chum, pick it up.”

“O.k., I’ll pick it up, Daddy,” Chum said sadly as he bent down and eyed the-now covered in ANTS-ice cream. He looked down at it, and he could feel Ben’s anger just over his shoulder. He reached down and grabbed a big handful of ants and ice cream. And then he looked at Ben and asked nervously,” Now what, Daddy?”

“Eat it!” Ben snapped. ”Eat it all, Chum, ants and all. You won’t be the clumsy screw up kid anymore. You’re too much like that idiot mother of yours,” Ben watched Chum intently, as he tried to wipe some of the ants off with his hand, but Ben cleared his throat loudly when he did. “Well there will be no more of this. From here on in you’re going to take care of your things. EAT IT,” demanded Ben as he gave Chum a hard pinch on the shoulder.

Chum rubbed his shoulder, coughed twice, and then he opened his mouth as wide as he could and slowly moved towards the ice cream. He took a large bite, and started to chew the ice cream and ants.

He even thought it didn’t taste that bad, kind of crunchy. Then Chum chewed a mouthful of more ants than ice cream, and grimaced.

“Oh god, this is the scene where he eats the ants,” Jim came out of his daydreaming mind. “I always hated that scene. Look at Chum, the good kid that gets kicked around. I can relate to that,” Jim confessed as he watched Chum eating the ice cream and ants; with Ben standing over him grinning proudly.

“There ya go, some delicious ice cream,” Ben said as he picked up Chum’s chin to look at him.

“Most boys never taste ANY ice cream. You’re a lucky boy, Chum. How is it, crunchy?” Ben asked as he smiled and messed up Chum’s hair. This caused Chum to straighten his own hair out a second later (he liked it parted to the side and not touched).

Chum ate the last of it, and was about to wipe his hand on his pants when Ben tapped him on the cheek. Chum looked around for something to wipe it on. And then he saw a potbelly piglet in a pen nearby. He walked over-with Ben watching-and wiped his hands off on the belly of the piglet.

“Oh god, I didn’t know how painful this scene was for Chum,” Jen said sadly as she tried to not cry.

“I feel bad for him,” Jen said tearfully as she rested her head on Jim’s shoulder; but she kept watching Ben and Chum. Chum walked back over to Ben, paused as he looked around, and then showed him his semi-clean hands.

“See I made them all better now,” Chum said as he flew his hands around in front of his face. “They are clean like green and spleen. I love cleany hands, they don’t get the germs all over the house, like we talked about,” Chum said as he walked beside Ben through the county fairgrounds.

“Now, Chum, they’re not as clean as you think,” Ben explained. “That piggy could have been hanging around the crumby people. And those crumbs, well they bath in dirt and use mud as deodorant.

Now, Chum, maybe there’s a hand washing in your future, what do you think?” Ben joked as he grinned down at a laughing Chum.

Chum nodded his head yes, and continued giggling loudly. It sounded like a hyena-almost unreal vibrations-and it made people look over and wonder what was wrong with him. Jen saw it and started to smile through her tears. Chum acted like he was going to rub his hands on Ben, and Ben gave him a hip bump. Chum said jokingly,” But dirt has feelings too, Daddy, just eat some.”

“No, Chum, I will not be dining on dirt, nor it on me,” Ben said as he parted Chum’s hair back the way he wanted it. “Why don’t we go see about the horse riding portion? I thought you might like to ride a horse,” said Ben as he walked along with Chum; as Chum had his little arm around the back of Ben’s legs.

“WOOO, that was awesome!” Jim yelled excitedly as the whole crowd erupted into applause. Then without notice, the holographic scene changed from the county fair, to the backyard of Beth’s house.

The backyard had a small pool with a green tarp over it and the words I FILLED THIS POOL WITH

ME written on it. There were golden statues of Beth along the sides of the pool (among other egotistical things). Beth was sunning herself near the edge of her hilltop property. There were also 10 deck chairs and a waiter handy. Chum sat there in his deck chair and made very little noise. He was worried Beth would make him run up and down the stairs again. He hated those stairs; and he didn’t think he should have to sit all day quiet and still either.

“Mother?”” asked Chum hopefully.

Then just before the hologram of Beth-taken from her brainwave analysis after the Oscars-could speak, the real Beth stepped into the scene and took her hologram’s place. She said sternly,” What is it you, you blithering idiot?”

Chum grimaced, and he felt bad for even thinking of asking anything. He looked around and then said softly,” I think you look great, Mother. And I was just wondering if I could go inside, and drink some more broccoli drink? I really love the flavor.”

“That’s the real Beth, I can’t believe it,” Scott said in disbelief as he leaned in close to Jim; and they watched Beth spit a wad of snot over the cliff. Jim nodded yes, and he started to smile with glee because he knew what was coming next.

“Won’t you shut up already, won’t you?!” Beth cried as she squirted suntan lotion at Chum. “You don’t want to be a chubby nobody, like your BUM FATHER, do you?” asked Beth sharply as she flipped her body over; and started exercising her chin muscles.

“But Daddy works, he’s a scientist, Mother,” Chum replied as he ducked the suntan lotion she was shooting at his face. “I thought Scientists made big monies?”

“Chum, that man is a bad influence on you,” Beth said condescendingly as she tossed a half eaten banana at Chum, hitting his leg. “I don’t know why you don’t stay here for good, with your dear old mum? Wouldn’t you like that?” Beth asked coyly as she wrapped her arms around her legs and smiled like a beauty queen at Chum.

“I thought I had to call you Mother?”

Beth bristled at this and flicked him off. Then she got up and walked right over to him; and kicked him in the side and said angrily,” Shut up! You won’t talk sass with me you brat. I’ve done things in my

life, and quite frankly a scientist is just a job for people with NO talent. Not like me and you, Chum, we’re above them all.”

“Yes, yes I know we have the talent,” Chum answered as he looked down at his hands. “I just don’t want to miss Daddy all time. If I did it would be tears, and more tears. Maybe you could get back together?” Chum asked softly as he continued looking down at his hands.

Beth bristled again and kicked Chum hard in the arm. This caused him to fall out of his chair. Then she stood there breathing heavy and she said angrily,” Chum, that man is beyond scum! He cheated on your mother, treated me like NOBODY! Now fucking stop SAYING THAT!” shouted Beth as she kicked Chum again but in the ass this time.

Chum scampered behind the other chairs; and tried to keep from getting kicked again.

“Man, this kid has the worst parents ever,” Scott muttered as he watched Chum moving the brown deck chair reading BETH’S ASS FITS HERE, to keep Beth from punching him.

Jim heard this, and he realized Scott didn’t know it was based on a real couple and their son. Jim looked at Jen-wanting to be the bearer of this tidbit-and she shook her head no. That told Jim not to mention it to Scott.

“I don’t know, I had the same shit,” Jim said as he rubbed his left arm. “Didn’t have a rich mother, but I got beaten up for no reason more than any damn kid should. This is true to life. Kids who get abused develop into people who can take more pain than most. That invariably leads to them, later in life not wanting lots of people around them. Ya know, it’s not where you’re born, but who pulled you into this world from the outside, that counts,” Jim said sadly as he thought about his sister beating him senseless (a few times too many for his liking).

Jen looked at Jim, and she had heard enough and asked,” Jim?”

“Yeah what?” asked Jim as he looked at Ben.

“This,” Jen replied then she planted a kiss on Jim; and he grabbed hold of her with all he had. They kissed for several seconds, and then Jen said happily,” that’s just a warm-up.”

Jim flashed a mischievous grin and swayed his head a from side to side a few times. And then Jim said sarcastically,” Well, I must say I’m warm already, like gooey smores warm too. And if you want to spend some time with me, the offer’s on the table, Gorgeous.”

“I love smores, handsome Jim, and I accept,” Jen said brightly as her eyes looked warmer than they ever had. “But we need to do what we came here to do. It matters, Jim, it matters that I act with Ben.

I’m sorry, but I can’t leave yet, he needs my help,” Jen said as she watched Chum throw a red rubber lifejacket at Beth. Then Chum sprinted past her into the house yelling like an Indian warrior. Jen laughed at this, and everyone cheered.

Beth ran into the house and asked angrily,” Where the hell is he, MARIA? I know you’re thick as thieves.”

“I don’t know, it happen so fast,” Maria said hollowly as she looked around nervously; and she played with her bottle of Maine maple syrup.

“You bitch!” Beth snorted her eyes red with anger. “How dare you lie right to my face,” Beth said indignantly. “Well, you might get fired for this one, Maria, fired but good. I don’t have to take it, there are hundreds of Maria’s all over Hollywood,” Beth paused to wipe the sweat from her face and continued,

“Maybe I’ll pull out the rolodex and find me someone who isn’t IMCOMPETENT?! Yes, that’s what I’ll do. Now, where is he?” Beth asked coyly as she looked around the posh living room for Chum. She could feel the sweet slap of his cheek to her hand already. She saw a shoe sticking out from under one of the red velvet chairs. She ran over and dove on the shoe, but it was a trick by Chum.

“I don’t know where he is, Beth, no clue,” Maria said hollowly as she saw Chum sticking his head out of the cereal cabinet behind her. She pushed the door back shut with her foot, and grinned for a moment when Beth looked over.

“Well FIND HIM!” screamed Beth as she tossed a black cushion from her yoga mat at Maria (but it missed hitting her). “I’m not paying you minimum wage for nothing. God, I’ve got a READING

TODAY, Maria. Now I may end up losing the lead, and go broke on Sunset. Oh, why doesn’t anyone love me?” Beth asked coyly a she looked around for Chum (she knew Maria was weak and could easily give in if she pressed her). She could see a sock hanging out of a closet up the hall, making her eyes light up. She glared at Maria; and Maria was intentionally trying to look nervous.

“Keep looking, Bitch, he ain’t in there,” Jim said snidely as he laughed to himself. “Why don’t you try the back room, or the fucking stable you horse head?” Jim asked sarcastically as Jen had her arm around his back and his arms were folded in front.

The crowd laughed at this; and Scott saw several people filming the performance in holographic definition. He wondered why he hadn’t thought of a way to tape his own performance. He looked around and saw many people filming: with phones, implants, and even cheap sunglasses. And then he smiled and asked,” Is it me, or are all these people filming this?”

“Scott…yes they are,” Jim said as he looked around at all the novice directors. “I think if we’re smart, we’ll do the same. Here, take my phone and catch some magic,” Jim said warmly as he pulled out his phone and handed his-red and black stripped hand shaped with the word COMMANDO burned onto the wood-phone to Scott.

Scott looked at the phone, yawned, and then aimed it at Chum; just as he snuck out of the cereal cabinet and ran outside. Everyone cheered at this, as Beth neared the sock hanging out of the closet.

“Way to go, Chum!” Jen cheered. “Run like your head hurts,” Jen said happily as she smiled and watched Chum run outside; and then he headed for the door to the street. He ran over and grabbed his bike; and then made his way out of the visible scene.

Beth walked up to the sock and said angrily,” You’re so dead, Chumly, DEAD. Come here,” Beth said coldly as she pulled open the closet; and she kicked the mop and bucket thinking it was Chum. The dirty water got on her new makeup job; and she panicked and ran screaming to her makeup chair. Then the scene dissolved; and they saw the beginnings of the premier scene for the fictional movie Filthy Famous. It was a film the character Beth was playing in Shadow Thief that she was supposed to be starring in.

There were anti-gravity limousines flying into the premier from every direction (many of the rooftops were covered in lavish parties). The stars would each land and literally ooze out the car doors onto the red carpet. The row of photographers constantly flashed their camera implants (even if no one was there). They couldn’t run the risk of missing the big shot; and missing out on a huge payday.

Jen folded her arms, burped into her sleeve, and started doing a kicking motion with her right foot (a few inches into the scene). She really wanted in this scene, but she decided to just wait for a minute to catch her bearings.

“You’re going in aren’t ya, Jen?” Jim asked but he already knew the answer.

“Yes I am,” Jen declared proudly as she walked over to the hologram of starlet Beckany Hort-originally played by a cross dresser in the film version-and assumed her clothing and role. The crowd watched this eagerly and clapped, as many of them were too nervous to walk into any scene with Beth.

Beth came out of her limousine with Chum being dragged by the arm behind her.

“Oh God this is gonna be good,” Jim said as he shook out his hands and jumped up and down a few times. “Of the whole movie, this scene is one of my top three. Watch, I bet Jen nails it. Let’s go, Jen!”

Jim yelled as he clapped his hands hard together, and let out a couple loud yells.

“I think you’re right, look at her,” Jack added as he watched Jen intently. He had been hanging out behind them patiently waiting for Jen to go for it all (he knew she had magic).

“Aren’t I marvelous?” Jen asked as her lips kissed the air in front of her. “You can say yes,” Jen said playfully in a husky voice as she worked the red carpet. The photographers took picture after picture of her (in her nearly sheer red lace dress). She smiled and looked at each person with no fear to speak of (she was ready).

“Oh that damn BITCH, Beckany is here,” Beth snapped as she continued posing for the cameras.

“Chum, I want you to go punch that woman in the gut. Now, you owe me this one, Chum, don’t ya?”

Beth pushed hard on Chum’s back. Chum looked around for someone to help him, but there was no one.

“Maybe she’s the wrong person?” Chum looked around nervously for a place to hide. “Did you think of that?” asked Chum hopefully as he grimaced.

“Stop being so obtuse, Chumly,” Beth growled as she nudged him with the toe of her high heels.

“Just go and really sock her one. I’m not asking, Chum, HURRY!” Beth said angrily as she tried to keep composed, but she wanted to slap Chum good and hard on the mouth.

Chum looked at Jen, and he knew he was doing wrong, but he headed her way anyway. He walked out behind a few big stars; and then under the lifted leg of a beautiful brunette that had crashed the party-a Sophia Lauren copycat. He looked up and saw Jen smiling and looking amazing. And he felt truly terrible about having to hit her. Chum looked back and saw Beth glaring at him. His heart sank and he started to sweat all over.

“Nice lady?”

“OH, hi there, Little One, what do you need?” Jen asked warmly as she bent down and fixed Chum’s crooked shirt collar.

“Well, see my old mum wants me to gut punch you,” Chum said nervously as his eyes seemed to bulge out with every word. “I don’t want to do it, but have to. Can I punch your tummy?” Chum asked sadly as he grimaced and tried not to cry.

Jen looked and saw Beth watching them. That damn Beth, she thought. And she smiled as she bent down and said warmly,” Yes, you go right ahead.”

“I’m sorry,” Chum said apologetically as he punched Jen in the gut. Jen acted as if it really hurt (it felt like someone nudging you at the super market). And Beth laughed, waved to Jen, and smiled like she’d won another Oscar.

“Owe, you really popped me one,” Jen said as she rubbed her stomach. “Well, tell Beth, she can’t act the scene. She’ll know what that means, bye little boy,” Jen said as she patted Chum on the back.

And Chum ran through the crowd of stars-and mostly wannabes-smiling as he did. Jen watched this and then turned and smiled for the photographers (she owned this moment).

“Hey, mother, I did it, I punched her!” Chum said excitedly as he went to hug Beth’s leg, but she used her hand to stop him. “Can I have a morsel of food now?” asked Chum hopefully, as he hadn’t eaten all day.

“Chum, come now, food is for winners,” Beth said as she waved to several of the bigger name directors. “You lost your spelling bee yesterday, remember? I can’t reward incompetence. You’re bum father might do that, but he doesn’t see the flashing lights like we do, Chum. We’re different, we’re blessed,” Beth said dismissively as she smiled for the cameras; and she hugged Chum for the first time in months. She knew little children really played big in the rags (that’s why she brought him in the first place).

“Hey, Beth, you suck!” Jim said loudly, standing only inches from her and smiling. Beth looked down slowly. And then she promptly moved away from Jim and more towards Jen.

“Hello there, Ice Queen,” Ben said snidely as he held back a smile. Ben knew just the sight of him, at HER MOVIE PREMIER, would incense Beth beyond belief.

She looked over in horror and yelled,” GET OUT OF HERE, you loser! No handouts here, Sunny Jim.”

“I’m prosperous, Beth, you know that,” Ben replied, and he knew by not using Beth’s character name at all, it would drive her crazy. Jen knew this as well, and she made her way over to Ben and Beth.

“Daddy, I been punching people, but good,” said Chum proudly as he offered his flexed right arm to Ben. “You should have seen me, wallop. I won’t wallop you, you’re safe,” Chum assured as he hugged Ben’s leg, and then looked up at him.

Ben grinned and fixed Chum’s hair to the right, instead of the left. He did this to bother Beth (who only liked it to the left). Then he asked warmly,” Good job, Chum, are you ready to leave now?”

“What?!” asked Beth indignantly as she looked at Ben aghast. “He’s staying jerk-off, this is my moment! Now go suck up some lunch in the park,” Beth said coldly as she pushed Ben back from Chum with both hands. Chum looked at both parents, and then he made his way back towards the adoring fans.

“Really, Beth?” asked Ben.

“HI there, Dr. Train, how are you today?” Jen asked deliberately, as she tried to steady Ben against Beth by using his real last name.

Ben smirked and looked at Beth, and then Jen. He nodded to Jen and said warmly,” I feel much better now. Do you know a good place we can lock up this loon here, this Beth?” Ben asked snidely his

hands acting like they were going to touch Beth’s dress. “She’s on her last legs,” Ben said as he chuckled at Jen, and then looked defiantly at Beth.

“An aging actor IS STILL AN ACTOR, you idiot!” Beth barked her hand raised ready to slap Ben.

“Like I’ve got time for sidewalk kissers like you,” Beth said sharply, never showing a bad angle to the cameras. ”Chumly, Chum, CHUM! Where has he gotten too?” Beth asked, she was startled as she looked around; and she continued to smile for the photographers. Ben looked and saw Chum hiding behind a statue of an alien (a red skinned dragon headed alien at that). Chum smiled, and waved to him, and Ben didn’t react.

“Did you lose my son, Beth, is that it?” accused Ben hollowly.

“Look, don’t be dramatic, it doesn’t suit you,” Beth replied dismissively as she pulled out a diamond broach; and then clipped it over the neck portion of her dress (like nothing was more important). “He’ll turn up, he’s Chum. Look, I have a big favor to ask. Could you find him, and watch him for me?” Beth asked in a voice softer than any she had ever used. ”I swear I’ll let you have him the whole week if you do,” Beth said hollowly as she made herself seem humble, but she really didn’t want to be a mother during HER BIG PREMIER. She prayed Ben would just take him for the night, and she could dance away her worries.

“I don’t know, seems like a hassle.”

“Come now, Ben, please, I’ll owe you one?”

“I don’t know I might never find him now that you’ve lost him.”

“Do you have to torture me?” Beth asked in her softest of voices. “Just be his father for once, find him. Chum needs you, and I need you to understand. Will you help?”

“Yeah, yeah I will, but don’t show up in the papers drunk and HIGH tomorrow, Beth” Ben said sternly as he glared at Beth; and she recoiled from him. “Chum’s sick of being teased at school ya know.”

“How dare you?” Beth cried as she was pretending to be taken aback. “I’ve been sober 6 years now, you know this!”

“Beth, you’re high right now,” Ben answered as he pulled out a small bottle of Brandy (the mere sight of which had Beth dying for a drink). “Your pupils are dilated and your heart rate is slowed. Go lie to someone else for a change, I’m being a father tonight,” Ben said as he turned and walked over to where Chum was hiding.

Beth stood there only momentarily looking at Ben, then she was back to being the star. She posed and danced her way into the movie theater.

“Hey, Daddy, can we ditch mum, and go ice creaming?” Chum asked as he grabbed Ben’s hand; and Ben took one last look for Beth, and she was gone.

“Yeah, of course, Chum, all you can eat,” Ben helped Chum and Jen-her eyes drinking in the last gasps of the red carpet-into his waiting convertible Jaguar. Off they drove, and Chum looked back to see all the paparazzi still swarming around the movie premier (he made a square with his hands like he was shooting a movie).

“Jen’s available, I’m telling ya she’s good,” Jim insisted as he grinned. “The question is now, what is she going to do in this last scene?” Jim asked as he looked around at the crowd, and saw many people staring at Jen. Jim could tell Jen was a star if anyone ever had been.

“What do you mean, Jim?” Scott asked his mind still thinking about the last scene.

“Scott, there’s only one scene left, right,” Jim continued after pausing to look at an Anne Hathaway virtual clone. “It’s the faceoff between Ben and Beth,” Jim suggested, as he and Scott moved close as a

cat to a bird, nearer to the stage. “There aren’t any other actors in the scene. “But Jen’s still out there, wanting to act it,” Jim said as he rubbed his forehead. “She has to know what’s going on, but why is she staying?” asked Jim as he looked at Jen perplexed. What is Jen planning he wondered.

Jen saw the hologram for Beth starting to appear between her and Beth, and she ran for it. This caught Beth off guard, and she froze. Jen ran to the spot and assumed the clothes of Beth; and literally stole the role from Beth before she knew what was happening.

“Damn you, you insolent CHILD!” cried Beth. “That’s my role; I made it REAL, BITCH! Get out of my shot!” Beth screamed angrily as she stomped over to Jen. Beth was infuriated, and wanted some sweet as honey retribution, and fast.

“No, go to hell, Bitch!” Jen snapped as she looked at Beth with” I hope you die eyes”. “You’ll just have to repeat the scene after Ben and I am finished,” exclaimed Jen coldly. “You try me, and I’ll crack that head like an egg. Remember, I got nothing to lose,” Jen pointed out her fist clenched and ready; and then she flexed her arm and put her fist up in Beth’s face.

“Well, you’ll blow it, talentless rubes always do,” said Beth dismissively as she pulled out a cigarette holder. “Fine, you want Hollywood, say hello to Hollywood boulevard. That’s where the worthless find their only talents. We’ll watch you with baited laughter,” Beth said as she started to walk away, and then took one last look at Jen. Beth for some reason felt a twinge of fear when she locked eyes with Jen. It made her forget her accomplishments; and she hated her for it.

Ben walked in with Chum, just as the set turned into a dusty driveway outside a hillside convenience store. The sun was setting, and luxury cars would speed by in the background every so often.

“Hi, Mum, I mean, Mother, I missed you,” Chum said as he stood there beside Ben (some 20 feet away from Jen playing the Beth role).

“HI, Chumly, why aren’t you coming over to your dearest mother?” Jen asked as she stood there smoking a long cigarette-the smoke was real except for the nicotine-and shifting her weight from foot to foot. Jen was showing Ben he didn’t have to commit to the same interpretation of the scene (every time he did it).

Ben peered at Jen, unsure what was happening, and then looked down suddenly. He was seeing the scene differently. My oh my, what is this, he thought. Then he said sharply,” I have an idea, Beth, one you’ll like.”

“Huh, well I can’t pry it out of your head,” Jen said, her hand bouncing off her hip with a cigarette in tow. “What is it?

“I’m going to leave the final decision of who gets Chum here, to Chum.”

“What are you saying, Ben?” Jen asked as she blew some smoke out of the side of her mouth. Jen stood there, still now, and looking away from Ben.

“I’m going to let Chum, stand between us both,” Ben explained as he mopped the sweat off his forehead with his shirt sleeve. “The same distance from each of us, and he’s going to pick the parent he wants to go with for good. If you agree, we’ll be out of each other’s hair forever. If you disagree, I’m going to punch you hard in the mouth you BITCH,” Ben spoke with a newfound confidence in his voice (Beth noticed this from off-set). “Because, Beth, I’ve had it with you and your elitist ways. You’re ruining Chum and everyone knows it. Now, once and for all Chum’s fate will be decided. Chum?” asked Ben sadly as he bent down to look Chum in the eye.

“Yes, Daddy?” asked Chum as he put his hands on Ben’s stomach.

“This is it, it’s yours to decide my boy,” Ben said as he tucked in Chum’s shirt; only to have Chum giggle and untuck it himself. “I love you either way, and I always will,” Ben said with dignity.

“I love you too, Daddy, much, much, and more much,” Chum said honestly with a hint of a smile.

“But what do I do now, I ask ah?” asked Chum timidly as he looked at Ben and then Jen.

Jen glared at Ben, and smiled lovingly at Chum. Ben saw this, and he suddenly had a better hold on what Beth had been doing to him all these years. He stepped back from Chum; and put his hand over his mouth.

“Take 7 big steps towards me, Chum, and then we’ll start,” Jen said sternly as she waved goodbye to Ben (that had been Beth’s original take on the scene from the theatrical release of the movie, but it was later changed in the DVD). “Fine, Ben, it’s fine with me,” said Jen warmly as she threw her cigarette over a small bush and into a drainage pipe.

“This is rubbish, she’s a hack,” Beth could barely stand still, her legs moving from one uncomfortable position to another. “Terrible delivery, so crude and juvenile,” snapped Beth with the same infuriating nose up and shoulders back (she loved putting people in their place). “I’ve never played this scene that low rent and cheap beer, in my glorious life. I don’t think she’s…she’s really,” Beth said blankly as she snuggled with Gloria just out of the scene. Beth was getting worried; she could see the way Jen was playing the part and it meant trouble for her. She hoped to rattle Ben with a new delivery, but she worried it would fall flat.

“She’s steals her lunch and she knows it, Beth,” said Gloria. “Let’s just wait and then you’ll destroy her,” Gloria kissed Beth on the lips and around the face, but Beth kept her eyes squarely on Ben.

“Of course, there’s no substance here,” Beth dismissed coyly, as she was worried it could all fall apart in front of this now ever larger crowd.

“Am I far enough here?” asked Chum in a lilting tone.

“Yes, Chum, you’re fine,” nothing rattled in Ben’s voice now. “Go ahead and you start, Beth, bitches first,” Ben said snidely as he showed no emotion, just stood there confidently.

Jen looked at Ben, and then Chum, and smiled and said,” Boy, Chum, you’re gonna miss your favorite show Mr. Bumly; I’d hate to see you miss that, let’s go, Chum, say goodbye already,” Jen said nonchalantly as he turned and offered Chum her hand. Jen was going off script, she figured out a good way through for Ben, and she knew it would work ( it had to).

Ben looked at her and started to smile and said,” Chum, you and I both know she’s not going to let you watch Mr. Bumly. She’s gonna make you do sit-ups. And you’re gonna have to watch her put on her makeup,” Ben replied with an answering nod. “Please, Chum, why don’t we leave that bitch behind? She hates you, Chum, she hates us both. Chum, are you hungry yet? I’ve got those ice cream bars you like in the fridge,” Ben said softly, as it took every bit of his wherewithal to not yell at Jen. He kept his focus on Chum, and did not waver.

“But you hit Chum!” Chum said tearfully as he rubbed his arm (there was a bruise there the size of a golf ball). “You beat me up, all time. I want to NOT be hit,” Chum said skeptically as his lower lip quivered; he cried like rain down a pane of glass during a thunder storm, and he faced neither one of them now.

Jen saw this and said calmly,” That’s right, Chum, your bum father beats you up, I wouldn’t do that.

Let’s go home already, Chum, RIGHT, NOW!”

Chum looked at Jen and shook his head from side to side, no. Chum shouted tearfully,” YOU HIT

CHUM TOO! Why hit Chum?” he demanded impetuously as he hit his own leg. “I don’t hurt anybody, I am just a kid. Leave poor Chum alone, one time for true,” Chum continued. “My back hurts from your slaps, and my face hurts from your hits! I can’t…I can’t take it anymore,” he cried. “Please don’t hit me anymore, please don’t. I’ll be good, I swear…I swear I will,” Chum said tearfully. “One time, one day without a hit, just one,” begged Chum tearfully as he broke down, and his hands were shaking. He looked at Jen, and then right at Ben, and he started to fidget with his hands.

“I’ll never hit you again as long as I live, Chum, I swear…I swear it,” insisted Ben. “I’m sorry, I should not have done that, I’m sorry, Chum. Don’t we have good times, Chum?” asked Ben tearfully as he crouched down and got on eye level with Chum. Beth saw this and she wanted to punch Chum right in the head. Beth knew that kid was giving the scene away.

“Yes, we have had good ice cream eats. Good bike rides, and good walk on sand. I…don’t...know.”

Jen stepped to the side and caught Chum’s attention, and said warmly,” Chum, you can’t believe him, he’s an alcoholic. You know he’s just gonna drink, drink, and die, right, Chum?” Jen asked sheepishly.

“Remember how funny it was that day he beat you up? You know it’s true. Chum, now god DAMN IT!”

shouted Jen. “I’m not waiting for you any longer. GET over here NOW! We’re going home,” Jen demanded sharply as she glared at Ben, and it all crystallized for Ben right then and there (the way through).

In the Gifted Love hospital ward-where Ben Train lay in his self induced coma-he was watching this happen via hologram in his mind and controlling it at the same time-and his hands started to shake. He had blue goggles on that emitted red light as he acted and lived the entirety of each scene. His legs were up on a pair of pillows, with yellow and red tubes in his chest and hands. He saw there was an answer, but he didn’t know just yet how to get there. His longtime wife Julie Train was asleep in the chair next to his bed, as Ben’s body shook violently. He looked old and grizzled, with a long beard and thin body, but the mind was sharp. On the walls were his award night pictures: showing the Golden Globes, The Screen Actors Guild best actor awards-of which he had won 3 each-and his loss at the Oscars with the words I’D

LIKE TO THANK ANYONE BUT THE ACADEMY scrawled on it in red ink.

Meanwhile Beth was eyeing Jen, and looking for the motivation to outwit this new Ben. She watched her every move, and she prayed Chum would go to Jen.

“NO, Mum, I can’t eat vegemabels all time,” Chum explained indignantly with a fierce look in his eyes. “I want, GOOD, FOOD. I’m sorry, but I have to go away from you for now, bye, Mum,” Chum said warmly as he waved to Jen.

“CHUM!!” Jen yelled sharply, and she made her body diminished by lowering her head and shoulders (old studio trick she’d heard about). “Get over here or there’s no Mr. Bumly! Chum, Chum?”

she paused. “Is there any justice for the gifted? Aren’t I ready to love you, Chum? Won’t you tell me your stories, please, Chum?” pleaded Jen sadly, as she watched Chum walk over to Ben and take his hand.

Ben didn’t look back, and he and Chum walked over to his car and got in quickly. By then Beth had seen quite enough and she shouted,” BULL-SHIT! That would never happen if it were my scene, bitch!

Let’s ROLL IT AGAIN! Get back her, Ben, you’ve won nothing!” Beth yelled angrily as she took a few steps out to where Chum was standing. She bent down like she was adjusting her shoes, and put a silver coin down nearer to where she’d be (it was a silver dollar she got for her first acting role from her mother Jean).

“You’re really going down, Beth, it’s embarrassing,” Jen said happily as she walked over to Jim, Jack, and Scott. Beth cringed at this; and she started to stare down Jen.

“Good fucking scene, Jen, you nailed it,” Scott exclaimed as he patted Jen on the back.

“Thank you, I’m just the best there is, that’s all,” she answered. “What’d you think, Jim Nuts?”

“I think you did amazing,” Jim assured. “And I think my name is Jim, not JIM-nuts. Maybe you could remember that, for good and longer. Jack, what do you think the chances are Ben gets Chum again, once and for all I mean?” Jim inquired smoothly as he rubbed his chin.

“I’d bet on him, all I’ll ever have and win,” Jack answered.

“I got a good feeling, this could finally be the day he breaks her in two,” Jen interrupted in a gratified manner. “God let Ben have the courage, please let him have it,” Jen begged nervously as she put her hands together like she was praying (they were above her head and her eyes were closed). She begged for god to help Ben, and a few seconds later she opened her eyes and grimaced.

“Yeah, he deserves it,” informed Jack. “This could be the greatest day for the art of acting, since ever there was. Man, look at the crowd that’s forming. Everyone here is talking about the same thing we are. Yeah, Jim, this is the one, and that’s all he needs,” Jack replied confidently as he watched Ben and Chum slowly walk back to their places. Ben had a certain air about him and everyone could see it.

“Well then, Beth, you’ve got your comeuppance coming,” Ben said snidely with fake enthusiasm

“How’s the crow taste today?” Ben asked coolly.

“You should know, Ben, it’s all you’ve ever eaten, FOR YEARS,” snapped Beth angrily. “Ha, I’ll crush you and everyone will know your talent was little and fading, all the while. Ben, ha hah, let’s put on a show! Chum, take you place, its breathing greatness time,” Beth insisted snidely as she strode back to her mark, smiled to the crowd, and slowly turned to face Chum.

Then the set morphed back into the one in the hills. Ben took his place, and put his hand on his stomach to calm his nerves. For some reason he wasn’t as crippled by fear as he had been low those many years. He knew her game now, but he still didn’t know if she’d go off script.

Chum walked over to Beth and said politely,” Hi, Mum, I mean Mother, I missed you.”

“Don’t we miss us all, Chumly,” Beth replied with an unyielding strength in her voice. “Well I guess we should go home, Chum, Mr. Bumly’s on,” Beth ordered, she went off script to even the playing field. Ben saw this, and he had to squelch his own anger. He knew she could trick him if he wasn’t committed to everything.

“Beth, I’ve got an idea,” he said carelessly.

“Pray tell?”

“I can’t go on with this arrangement, and I know you hate it too,” insisted Ben. “I’ve decided that I’ll let Chum, once and for all, decide who he wants to be with. Chum, you go ahead and stand in the middle of us,” Ben paused. “Then we’ll each ask you to come with us. And you go where you’re heart is, Son.”

“O.k. Daddy, I’ll do my bestest,” said Chum innocently as he turned and skipped over to the middle area between them both. He looked at Beth and saw her gently gesturing with her hand for Chum to come to her. Then Chum turned and saw Ben sitting on the ground nodding contently.

“Chum, that father of yours is a big time nobody!” Beth snorted as she laughed to herself. “He drinks all the time, and he beats you up like a toy doll. He’s a waste, Chum, he’ll ruin your life,” said Beth as she rubbed her left wrist. “And you gotta ask the question…do you want the big stage, or the audience? Because that’s all people are anymore, and you’re better than that,” Beth said urgently, as she eyed Chum with a Leopard’s eyes; and she gently moved her hand like she had something in it.

“I don’t like your smelly clothes, and your food tastes like clothes,” Chum said tearfully as he swung his hand around like a windmill punch. “I want to watch TV, more than 20 minutes a day! I deserve my own room, not sleeping on the chair. I HATE THAT CHAIR, I HATE IT!” Chum started punching his own leg, and looking blankly at Beth, with homemade rain in his eyes.

“Chum, there’s a warm bed and some macaroni at my place,” Ben insisted hopefully. “And, Chum, there always will be. You can be anyone you want, it’s your life. And, Chum…oh god, I’m going to quit drinking and hitting you,” Ben felt the river of tears inching down his face (he was killing it again and he knew it). “I know I screwed up, I know it…I’m not perfect. I can’t believe what I did to you, I won’t do it again. You can watch TV all day long, Chum, its fine. Won’t you come home?” Ben asked tearfully as he put his hands on his knees-like he was ready to hug Chum-and slid his foot out of the way to make it easier for Chum to hug him.

“Drivel, worthless and weak,” objected Beth immediately. “How can you listen to this boob, Chum?

He’s 2 weeks from homeless at any given time. He’ll have you living in a box, with smelly people all around you,” Beth spoke with a condescending tone she saved for this very moment. “You don’t want to be a bum do you? Come now, Chum, there might be a new video game thing, back at home, huh,” Beth said without remorse, as she knew that in the scene she could say anything true or not, and he had to act it correctly (everything was true in a scene, and she knew that from her acting lessons with Stella).

“Mum, you slapped my head, my back, and my neck,” Chum hit the back of his head and neck 5

times fast. “I can’t…I can’t take the pain anymore,” cried Chum violently. “It makes me sad, and lonely.

I don’t want to live that way, at, all.”

“Chum, you know I can turn it around, please just give me one more chance,” Ben begged his eyes never leaving Chum (even though Beth was trying to break his concentration with spastic movements).

“You know she’ll tell you anything you wanna hear, you know it. There’s one chance here, Chum, one chance for us to be happy. I can’t be happy without you. And I can’t ever hurt you again. I swear to god, please forgive me, Chum, please,” pleaded Ben tearfully as he reached out for Chum and sobbed.

Chum looked at Ben, and then heard Beth make a farting sound (by blowing on her armpit). Chum looked over at her and she said snidely,” That’s bad ratings cable if ever I heard it. You suck, you can’t fool us, Ben, we know. Come now, Chum, when you leave him, you leave second class behind, FOREVER,” Beth had a certain unflappable smirk that never left “Oh, is that a silver coin on the ground there, Chum? Why don’t you pick it up and bring that over to mum, o.k.?” Beth asked hollowly as she pointed with her finger; and she got as humble as she ever had in her facial expressions.

“Is it silver, wow I’m rich!” Chum exclaimed as he bent down to pick it up. “I ah, need to thinka for a second. Do I go over, or do I NOT, go over? My head is tired and hurts,” mumbled Chum as he started to walk towards Beth rubbing his forehead.

“CHUM!” Ben said urgently, as he used the same spastic hand movement Beth had to catch Chum’s attention. “I put that coin there for you as a gift. Go ahead and bring that over to me and I’ll show you it’s secret. You wanna see that don’t you?” asked Ben coyly, and he looked wide eyed at Chum in one last ditch effort.

Beth laughed and bent down at the waste.

“O.k., Mum, I want to go with…”

“WAIT!” Beth interrupted violently. “Just hold on, Chum, I’ll buy you a new mini racing car, hmm.

And I’ll buy you a new red helmet, just the one you wanted. Now can we go home and play the video, ahh game thing?”

“Chum, just look at me one last time,” Ben demanded shortly as he started to stand up onto his knees; and he put his arms out like wings and breathed in the dying sun.

“What?” Chum asked as he grinned ever so slightly. “Do you have a racing car too?”

“Yes, yes I do,” Ben insisted hollowly. “I have money saved up for your college fund too. I’ve decided to let you blow it all on food and toys. Chum, I just can’t watch you sad for one more second.

How ‘bout it, Chum, your dinner’s ready?” asked Ben warmly, nodding determinedly as he eyed Chum and cried.

Beth froze at this, and her thoughts started to race. She had nothing for the first time in years.

“O ma K, that means o.k.” Chum answered happily as he smiled at Ben. “Mum, I won’t be eating your spinach sandwiches ever again, bye to ya,” said Chum innocently as he ran over to Ben and hugged him as tight as soda pop to the can.

“Chumly, don’t go…down that…wait!” Beth was hyperventilating (she hadn’t lost anything in decades). “Just…oh god, I can’t believe I choked it like an extra, please, Chum,” begged Beth sadly.

“How could THIS HAPPEN!” Beth screamed angrily as she flailed her arms. She looked to Gloria for support, and she had left to avoid messing up Beth’s performance (and she saw the writing on the wall).

“I love you daddy,” Chum said as he smiled like a sunrise and waved his little finger at Ben.

“I always loved you, Chum, always,” Ben spoke with a truck load of emotions bombarding him ( he beat the old hag, finally). “Holy cow, I’m ALIVE AGAIN!” Ben said boisterously as he hugged and kissed Chum-and without a worry-carried him over to his car. They got in, and drove off with the credits filling the scene; and Beth in the dark half, off to the side, alone.

Jen was crying along with everyone else-she had never felt so good about something in her entire life-and she pointed up to the sky, and smiled through her tears. Jen said triumphantly,” Now he’s free, Jim, he MADE IT! Ahhhhh, I’m so happy!”

“Holy cow, Ben just laid something down so powerful I can’t believe it,” exclaimed Jim. “I wonder what in the hell is going to happen to him next, ya know? Will he actually come out of that coma?” Jim paused and pinched his own arm and then continued. ”Because, if he did, the world would go NUTS,”

said Jim in disbelief. “I mean, he’s the best, and everyone knows it. And if they didn’t know it, they’re going to if he wakes up,” said Jim without reservation or a hint of doubt in his voice, as he clapped his hands hard above his head and smiled.

Meanwhile in Ben Train’s room-at Gifted Love hospital-his body was bouncing up and down on the bed higher and higher still. It woke up Julie up and she shouted violently,” DOCTOR! WE NEED A DOCTOR, HELP!!”

Ben’s eyes started to creek open like an old rusty door hinge; and he sucked in several chest filling large breaths.

Then inexplicably, the breathing apparatus broke free of his body and he shouted with a dry tired voice,” I MAAAADDEE ITTTTT!! I WON! Eat it bitch! Woo, am I happy!” Ben said excitedly as he

ripped out all of his tubes, and the IV’s from his arms and stomach. He had blood dripping out of his stomach, but then thankfully in came a team of 5 doctors, ready to assist (his money bought him around the clock care).

“Doctor Holmes, he woke up and I don’t know if he’s sick or dying,” Julie cried.

“Julie, I’m alive and I KICK ASS!” exclaimed Ben happily as he slapped the bed with his hands.

“Come on, line ‘em up for old Ben. I’m gonna crack some skulls. Ooooh, that was one dream I don’t care to share. Doc, patch me up, I got miracles to make,” Ben demanded as he sat there smiling from ear to ear.

The doctors patched Ben up; and he shaved off his long beard, and he went instead for the mustache only look this time (he hadn’t been able to grow a real one when he entered the coma). He went through 4 months of intense physical therapy, restoring his strength. His hair was as thick as concrete, and had to be cut just a certain way (he knew they cast you all on appearance, and the rest on talent). He had some gray streaks, but it was dignified and dashing. He put on a black suit, red shades, and an orange tie with a gold clip and the word CHUM engraved on it. Then he slid into some Gucci shoes, and did a quick spin.

“Julie, you should have married someone else,” insisted Ben. “How could you wait all this time?”

Ben asked warmly, as he was confounded by her dedication to him. He walked out the front doors of the hospital with his arm around Julie. They walked a bit further, and a limousine was waiting there for them, as well as the entire hospital staff, lining the walkway to his car. They cheered and clapped for him as loud as anyone ever had (he had forgotten that sound, but not the feeling of applause).

“Are you kidding, I married the best, there’s no one else after that,” Julie replied as she kissed his ear. “Man, Ben, you’re gonna make me cry. I love you so much, I missed you.” She sighed, nodded, and then kissed his fingers.

“I felt you, sometimes in that room,” admitted Ben. “I know it’s weird, but that’s what kept me going, Julie. It was you and you alone,” Ben proclaimed. “I’ll love you ‘til the day I drop, or I start doing buddy pictures with pooches. When that day comes, put a cork in me, I will have lost it. Well then, you first, My Dear,” said Ben honestly. He turned to the staff and spoke. ”I want to thank you all for everything, really. You’re all invited to my next movie premier. Just show the heck up, and they’ll let you the heck in, bye everyone. God I love the sunshine,” professed Ben honestly as he felt the sun on his face, then closed his eyes, and smiled at the glorious sun. The doctors and staff kept cheering, and he was handed his trademark red and black fedora with the inscription JUST IN TIME BEN, sewn onto the brim.

He inspected it, and then slid it on like it had never been off.

Jim and everyone in the group had spent a month on Veraclare-as the Fresha was repaired-and they were now home and living in Hollywood. Jen had gotten an agent; and Jim was acting in a TV show, alongside a former Oscar winner Richard Strombelt. Jack had thrown himself into writing; and he was shopping around his first screenplay MISSED OPORTUNITY TO FAIL. Fred was enjoying the sun and working as a gaffer. Scott was doing construction and auditioning when he could (which meant he was always tired). They all lived in the same building, with Jen and Jim sharing a 3 bedroom suite.

“It’s fine, whatever, whatever stupid thing you’re going to say,” Jim joked. “Just open that dumb head and speak. Nobody cares, Old Man, not even the undertaker,” said Jim snidely as he stood in a burned out frame of a house, on the Warner Brothers lot. He was acting a scene: where Richard was playing his drunk gambling father, and Jim his pious son, while the grimness of L.A. surrounded them.

Richard was drinking a bottle of colored water made to look like scotch. He had actually poured some vodka in to take the edge off (and no one knew but Jim).

“My burnout son doesn’t like me, I’m in heaven,” said Richard happily as he took a long sip, and then rocked back and forth on the box he was sitting on.

“Cut!” Ray said loudly as he grabbed his balls and shook them. “Take 5 and the talent take whatever you want. Just incredible, Richard, we’re done for the day,” Ray’s voice groped unsuccessfully for the dominant male tone. Then Ray put his arm around Richard and kissed his cheek.

“I thought we had 3 more scenes?” Richard asked his voice sounding annoyed. “It’s only breakfast, Ray, I need to be working,” insisted Richard in disbelief, he truly hated short days because it wasted his time.

“We had problems with the other sets,” Ray said sadly as he threw up his hands. “One fell down, and it ripped a hole in the other two,” explained Ray in a stark emotionless way. “So you’re off for 2

days, and then we’ll grab some sky, uh? You’re the Best, Richard. Jim, man you are on a roll! Just keep walking all over the talent here, and you’ll be fine,” said Ray excitedly as he kept adjusting his sunglasses.

“Ya know, Ray, I might just have to take your direction, and do just that,” Jim said jokingly as he lifted his arm and flexed his right bicep. “Hate to do it to ya, Richard, but hey, times change, Old Man.

You could die anytime, just saying,” said Jim sarcastically as he smiled like Chester Cheetah from ear to ear; and he messed up Richard’s hair. Richard batted away Jim’s hand playfully and chuckled, as he knew Jim’s sense of humor by now. Ray laughed briefly, and walked off like no one had said anything at all. Jim watched him go; and he knew that was a man of power. Jim wanted to wield that power someday, someday soon.

“Old man my ass,” Richard barked as he drank the last of the liquor. “You young wangs don’t get it, we already know everything. Your schemes, and ploys, laughable, a complete joke,” Richard said confidently. “When I’m dead, I’m going to use you as a pillow, Young Shaver.”

“No, no, no, I’ll be long gone, Old Man,” Jim shot back. ”You’ll be food, and I’ll be banging your girlfriend. Hey, you had to know it was coming.” Jim leaned forward and eyed Jen walking up to him.

“Hey, Jen, what are you doing here?” asked Jim brightly as he could see Jen more clearly now, skipping now towards him (in an outfit that made her look like a near dead hooker).

Jen had a miniskirt on with a hole in the back showing her pink panties. Her legs were covered in sparkles, and her hair was puffed up like a Twinkie.

“Jim?”

“What?”

“Please tell me they’re letting you out early this afternoon?” Jen asked as she fussed with her hair. “I can’t wait all day.”

“They are, they’re letting us out right now,” answered Richard for Jim. “Enjoy your day, Jim, I gotta go,” Richard said warmly, as he took Jim’s moment for himself, and stood up and stretched out his back.

“Yeah, you got it, Richard,” Jim said as he pulled out his wallet (careful not to let anyone see it as it wasn’t the right time period for the scenes he was shooting).

“Really, they let you out at the same moment I get off,” Jen said in disbelief. “Oh, that is some sweet timing. Hey I heard there might be a movie with Ben in it, at Studio B,” Jen punctuated the last two words with 2 kicks to Jim’s chair. Jen lovingly looked at Jim; and kissed Jim in between his laughing breaths.

“You’re kidding, we should go over there.”

“Let’s go right now.” Jen reached into her pocket, and produced her red pass for all of the vehicles on the lot. “We’ll take one of these golf carts. I don’t think anyone will care, they’re rich,” insisted Jen jokingly as she sat down in a golf cart, and Jim sat down beside her and barked a laugh.

Trundling past several extras covered in manure and oil-that were walking towards them like bored 8th graders entering English class-Jim looked away and burst out laughing, as he knew they only did that scene in the movie to torture the extras.

“Jen, did you see those extras?”

“Jim, they are working actors, and they deserve all the manure they get,” Jen said sarcastically; she put her head to Jim’s chest, and weaved the golf cart back and forth. “I know they wrote that to mess with them. Who needs a whole gaggle of extras covered in shit?”

“Me, me I do, I need them,” Jim answered sarcastically as he hit the roof of the cart. “What, that’s the only way to get any good as an actor. You pay your dues, and make minimum wage, what? Then when you’re fifty they spit you out the backend of the porn industry. It’s a glamorous life, I mean look how happy they are,” said Jim sarcastically as they saw a pair of extras covered in manure vomiting into a trash can.

Jen swerved left to avoid making eye contact with the extras. They glided down a long road lined with movie sets and old costumes (it looked like the new Sci-Fi movie Cranium Loot). They approached a small crowd of actors clamoring around a movie shoot.

“Wait ah minute, what set is this?” Jen asked as her eyes scanned the crowd for famous people.

“I don’t know, you used real words and I couldn’t understand you,” Jim said sarcastically as he leaned forward like an eager beggar; and he stole a cameraman’s lunch bag off a chair behind him. The cameraman was oblivious to the theft, and kept fussing with his jacket, like it was a home for the entire ant population.

“Jim Nuts, that man’s going to starve now.” Jen slowed the car and stuck her tongue out at a pair of directors as they passed. “How can ya watch a man like that die? I swear, if you don’t share that food with me, I’ll RAT you out. Try me, Jim, just try,” Jen said sarcastically in her best Georgia peach accent;

as she watched Jim pull out two cheeseburgers and some curly fries from the bag (that he had confiscated by order of the king, as Jim was related loosely to an Irish king that ruled some large farms, a good 500

years prior).

“Man, I’d give you some, but you’re on a diet,” Jim ate the cheeseburger like it was caviar (he loved anything with meat and cheese). “Actually here, I love ruining diets,” said Jim sarcastically, then he handed Jen a cheeseburger, and devoured his own.

“Thank you, I guess,” she said with perceptible reluctant sarcasm.

They drove up to the left of the crowd; and walked out around the set of a darkened street. They looked through a window; and saw Ben Train standing in the middle of the road, with his arms out like wings of an eagle. There was a large silver jaguar facing him that was revving its engine, with the passenger door ajar and dangling like a loose spider web.

“Come and try, try me now while I’m breathing free air,” said Ben coldly as he gently waved his arms. “You LOSERS, you’re NOTHING!” thundered Ben as he stood there with his fists at his sides, sweat racing down his face like lemmings to the sea. “What, is your car dying and you can’t find a way to off me, hmmm? Well, then it’s off I go,” Ben’s voice was cold with rancor embedded in his every word. He smiled and then started to go right, and the car lurked forward 8 feet like a swift uppercut would.

“Oh, this is awesome.” Jim stood there watching with the interest of a boy getting his first bicycle.

“It is awesome, Jim, but what is this movie about?”

“I don’t know, we’ll find out though,” answered Jim politely; as he snuck another bite of his cheeseburger, and watched Ben turn to face the car. They had 3 cameras going, and they had worked out all the angles before they started shooting. They planned on shooting the whole shot in one take.

“You’re dead, River, you don’t flow here anymore,” Corine said, her voice was cold but the rancor was gone from it. “Grab onto something, you’re about to die,” said Corine using a husky voice as she sat in the driver’s seat of the car. Ben squinted, and he could see the car racing at him, it hit him and flipped his body high in the air. Ben landed on his feet, and ran a few steps up a nearby house’s front staircase.

“Help, Help someone!” Ben cried as he kept his eyes focused on the car. “Someone anyone, HELP!!” screamed Ben as he saw the front door-of a Victorian white house-was locked and the windows boarded. He looked back and the car was barreling down on him, crossing the front yard heading right for the front steps. His eyes looked left, and he started to run down the front stairs, when a single shot rang out. The bullet clipped his neck, and he fell to the ground in a heap.

Out of the car came an actress known as Flowda Ridehoney (she was written in as Corine as a favor).

She was short and blonde haired, with a set of-good and paid for-large lips. She walked over to Ben and bent down over him and asked,” Was it worth it? Was it worth all this, River, all these lies?” she asked savagely. “If they knew you, those friends of yours,” said Corine as she smiled. “They’d be shoveling the last of the dirt on your grave.”

“No, I was never here to begin with,” Ben answered quickly as he started to rise. “It was you, you’re the one in the pictures, I’m the one taking them,” Ben replied as he grinned and batted away her hands on his chest. “I’ll never die, as long as your ugly, smelly, face hates my guts. And that won’t be forever ha hah ha,” Ben said snidely; his words seemed to cut into Flowda, he held his hand to his neck and blood oozed out around his fingers.

Flowda smiled, stood up, and shot Ben once in the forehead; and a burst of fake blood shot like lightning out the back of his head. Ben lay there contorted and smiling ever so slightly, as the camera moved up and away from him.

“Cut!” Lance barked his Marlboro Light cigarette burned down his skin. “Not bad, I hear a sequel, Ben,” Lance Deply said sarcastically as he hopped up out of his director’s chair, went to take a drag of his cigarette and saw none left, then he threw it and breezed over to Ben and Flowda.

“Can I die in the next one, he’s having too much fun?” asked Flowda sarcastically as she pushed on Ben’s head with the tip of her shoe. Ben lay there like he was really dead, and they had to laugh.

Jim watched him slowly ooze out of character and dissolve into his normal self. Jim asked,” Wow, how does he do THAT?”

“It’s a technique, Jim, it’s called wiping up water,” Jen’s words seemed to push Jim’s shoulders down and forward. “I read about it, you don’t jar yourself out of character. You supposed to just start a slow peeling back of layers,” Jen explained. “You need to read more, maybe one book,” said Jen sarcastically; she smiled at Jim, while her eyes caught Ben springing up and hugging Flowda.

“Great, great job, Flowda,” Ben insisted with his eyes lost in Flowda’s. “I’m serious, you’ll get the call,” said Ben honestly as he rubbed Flowda’s back. To get the call meant an Oscar nomination; and Flowda felt a shot of nervousness at Ben simply saying that.

“I would love it, oh, that would be fulfilling,” Flowda said coyly as she had dreamed about it every day of her life. “What was it like when you went?” inquired Flowda in a husky-old Hollywood-screen voice.

“Terrible, I hated every second,” answered Ben sarcastically as he danced back a few steps. “That said you would have a grand time. They love people who mingle and kiss the butt shiny. I just don’t have the time for all that, it was fun though,” Ben said as he leaned back and pressed up under his own chin hard.

“What are you doing, Ben?” Lance asked as he heard Ben’s neck crack; and Ben smiled at this like he’d been asked where he hid his treasure map.

“Just a bit of violent yoga, firms the neckline,” replied Ben slyly. “So then, I heard those vandals wrecked the outer lot sets. I hope they didn’t get ours, Lance,” Ben said slyly implying a question, and looked at Flowda with wide eyes.

Lance grinned, looked around, and then grimaced. Flowda said angrily,” OH god damn it no!”

Flowda looked up and flicked off the sky and asked sadly, “They wrecked our sets, Lance? I can’t believe these horrible people in this world.”

“I’m sorry, they did a number on this shoot, but we have options.”

“Lance, options…they are?” Ben asked inquisitively like he’d heard someone talking about a chest of diamonds they’d found.

Lance looked at his watch, started to say something then stopped, and pointed with his thumb towards the front gates of Warner Bros.

“Oh God, that’s horrific!” cried Ben sharply as he slapped his leg. “I’m here to work, Lance, I can vacation when I’m dead. Look, set up some of the exteriors shots for this afternoon. Come on, you work your magic and we’ll make a dent in this futile enterprise. Life, Lance, life,” demanded Ben sternly as he put his arm around Lance; and then he walked him over to the edge of the set.

Lance let out a sigh only a punctured tire could, and then threw up his hands, and saw everyone waiting on his every word-and that word was too telling, and he knew it. Lance said solemnly,” Can’t do it. They aren’t ready and I’m not rushing the scene,” explained Lance firmly as he lifted up his leg with his hand; and acted like he was going to kick Ben. “Go play golf or something? Don’t you have any hobbies?”

“Comas I like, Gov’na,” Ben spoke using a cockney accent. “No look, you know what down time sends me off doing, gulp, snort, and I’m out. I need to act today, set up a TV cameo or something.

Maybe a bit part in another movie?” asked Ben hopefully. “Hobbies are for idiots without talent, I am neither,” demanded Ben as he grabbed Lance by both shoulders, and bent down to look him in the eye.

Lance looked away-wishing he had something to tell Ben, anything-and he shrugged his shoulders.

He said doubtfully,” Can’t be done. They wrecked everything, everyone’s screwed,” insisted Lance as he played with Ben’s hair. “Trust me, sitting at home listening to Roman tell me how we don’t travel enough all day, is no picnic. Flowda, we’ll see about tomorrow. Keep your cell phone implant on.”

“So then, that’s it, Ben?” Flowda asked in disbelief. “We could go scare off some runaways?”

Flowda asked jokingly as she played with her hair; like it was new thread and she was sowing a sweater.

“Ya know, tell them the city is throwing vagrants in jail, it would be fun,” she said with a soothing gruffness, as she pulled off her stockings, and then undid her hair extensions.

Ben looked around, kicked a small can of coke sitting on the ground hard into the wall. He dreamed of the perfect note, knowing today it would elude him once again. He looked up and saw Jen walking out from behind the set, and he remembered her and said brightly,” Beth, you old bag of shit! Oh, I have wanted to talk to you for a long time. Are you an actress?”

“Yes I am, Ben, and I really wanna talk to you,” Jen replied in her best sultry voice as she swayed her hips from side to side, sending the crew into (I hope she talks to me) fantasy mode. “I heard about your predicament, because we were eavesdropping. So sue me, but don’t take my money,” Jen whispered as she flashed her best smile for Ben, causing him to grin. He knew all too well that look, and he knew the problem complications of the love kind could be.

“Yeah hey, I’m Jim Kay, I love your work,” said Jim brightly as he shook Ben’s hand.

“Nice to meet you, Jim,” said Ben.

“What, aren’t I nice to meet?” Jen demanded as she turned her head-like a chicken smelling feed-away from Ben.

Ben looked around, and pursed his lips, then chuckled. He waved for them to follow him, as he saw some extras about to ask him for an autograph (he couldn’t be Ben Train the public persona when he was even thinking about work). He thought of the plague those people had been in his life. He remembered the time one chased him for 10 blocks; and when he caught him he stole his wallet and blued his eye. He thought how great life would be if only talented people lived in the movies.

“OH extras, yeah we don’t want that hassle,” remarked Jim, as he looked back and saw the extras get deflated when Ben walked off; and he knew that was why Ben wanted to go somewhere else to talk.

“I only know you as Beth, which would be telling if it were your real name,” Ben said jokingly with his hands in his pockets like he was hiding money. It was a technique to subconsciously stick it to people he would walk past. “It would also be the last time we ever spoke though, seriously,” Ben said honestly, then he walked them into the science fiction special effects studio called “The Hive Mind” Ben was careful to shut the door behind him-you had to in this day and age, thieves and all-to keep the autograph hounds at bay.

“It’s not Beth, its Bethany, but you can call me Beth,” Jen answered sarcastically as she laughed mid-sentence. “Actually, Ben, it’s Jen, I know, so close to perfection. Maybe you’d let me borrow your b sometimes, please?” Jen pleaded sarcastically and she tried not to smile too hard at Ben (knowing he was married to Julie). She did wish to be a friend to him though; a friend like she herself had been lucky to have.

“It’s yours!” he said presently with a hint of whimsy in his voice. “You only have to buy me lunch and a new wardrobe. Just think about it. Look, I need to waste a little time today, while my wife is out of town. Can you stomach me for a few hours?” Ben wondered nervously, and he really didn’t know what to do with himself when he wasn’t acting. He spun like a top in a hurricane without a character to play and inhabit.

“Yes, of course we can!” Jen said enthusiastically.

“I’m down for that, ya know there’s this living movie card game,” interjected Jim. “It uses different theatrical forms of distraction, to put people on tilt. I mean, that’s where I was going anyway, maybe you’d be interested?” Jim asked calmly as he rubbed his neck and tried not to seem too eager. Jim had a feeling they could take more money than Uncle Sam if they went there (actors bluffed more than most people to show off their acting chops, and he knew it).

“Yeah, that’s something, but I need to act today,” He winced. “I’ve spent far too long not acting, my blood is boiling for scenes,” said Ben as he adjusted his belt. “Is there anywhere we can catch a camera and a few hour’s worth of scenes?”

Jim went blank as he really wanted to play poker. Jen took a few steps away from them, and tried to remember this thing she’d seen on the news-that white goatee wearing Newsperson Story True was talking about it she remembered.

“I can’t think of one, sorry, I just ah,” Jim said dejected and deflated as he rubbed the back of his neck and grimaced. He was still hoping for poker.

“Damn, I need a sce…”

“I got one!” Jen interrupted triumphantly. “There’s an open audition for Living Grape. It’s Paramount, so bring your own lunch, but they are having very elaborate screen tests. That would be some fine acting, and I would love a test anyway.” Jen gave Jim a couple soft karate chops to the shoulder; and she eyed Ben working it all out in his mind.

Ben went silent, breathing slightly faster, and then started to bob his head.

“What’s it gonna be?” asked Jim keenly as he saw Ben racing through emotions. Ben had no idea they were reading for that. It was one of the finest pieces of fiction ever written. He knew that would get him over the hill for good. And he always loved that book he thought, what luck.

“Yes, I…I can do that. Why don’t we leave, now?” Ben demanded excitedly as he replayed the novel in his head.

Jim and Jen chuckled, and watched him still rapt in thought.

“Alright, we’ll take you and your slow motion machine,” Jen said sarcastically as she tapped Jim on the tip of his nose; and she looked at Ben with a grin of satisfaction. “Let’s hit it!” cried Jen excitedly as she pulled on Ben’s shirt. He spun around and gave her a simple nod, but he was thinking kill zone on this one.

They walked over to Jen’s limousine; it was the one the studio had given her to get around in. They went across town to Paramount: and saw a gaggle of floating cars, screaming fans on floating couches, and people waiting to get in who weren’t ever getting in.

“Miss, we could be awhile,” asserted Ed Forte. “Do you want to wait?” asked Ed who was the limo driver, as he flew the anti-gravity car in between several smaller-not exactly foreign-extra’s cars.

“Yes, I do want to wait, unless you can call someone?” she asked anxiously.

“I don’t have any connections here, Miss, I apologize.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I can get us in, I can do it,” exclaimed Ben. “Let me make a call. Boy if Larry isn’t ready to help me, god help him,” Ben said with a bewildered look flushing his face red; as he thought about Larry, and his implant called his home phone.

Jim bore holes through the line of cars being pushed back by the much larger grey ships. He thought who had the sway in town to just push people out of the way, and why aren’t I them?

“Larry, its Ben,” said Ben brightly.

“Ben, I saw you pull up, Jen’s someone we’ve been looking at,” he said politely. “I take it you’re here for the audition?” Larry Steinik asked as he sat inside a white tower in the center of the Paramount lot. He watched Ben, and wondered if he was really ready to act again.

“Yeah, Larry, can I get 15 minutes?” he inquired looking down at the red carpeted floor of the limo, where it said,” NO smoking, unless you own a STUDIO!” and was followed by a fist punching in a man’s face.

“Just drive in, Ben, I’ll give you 30,” replied Larry warmly, as he watched the ships clear the way for Jen’s Limo, and an old friend.

“What’d I tell you, I snap my fingers and things happen,” Jim said sarcastically with his eyes looking out the window. “I got the best seats there are, at Burger King, McDonald’s, and the Laundromat. And oh, they won’t even make a sub until I’ve eaten. This is high class now, Ben, high,” said Jim sarcastically while he fist bumped Ben and he smiled in a gregarious way.

Ben looked at Jim, and he saw he was not faking his friendliness. Ben knew that would catch up with him eventually, but he’d have fun in the meantime. They always did, he thought.

They flew up over the masses, and shot upward towards a steel door, that was shaped like the Hoover dam. It covered a massive half mile tall gorge of white rock and busts of all the stars along the top. They flew in, and behind them a powerful air-jet kept the rest of the rabble, out, always out.

“Ya know, to just get the treatment, the great kind once. You never forget it, and you always hope it’s there again,” Ben explained as he fussed over his hair, while looking in the mirror in the front seat. “I only wish Julie was here to see it. Man, she’d be crying by now. The times I’ve had with her, priceless.

It takes a village of hope to light the sky,” Ben said convinced, with his eyes looking out the window at several thousand people doing scenes on mini stages; and knowing the grand Roman Cathedral was here,

now. The actors he saw were warming up for their auditions; and this brought a smile to Ben’s face (he remembered those days).

They flew into a large manmade cave and the car stopped abruptly.

“Well, we’re here, the place where one right move and you’re famous,” Jim said. “The time for big moves and right directions taken, is now baby,” said Jim confidently as he strode out into the cave, and he was instantly handed a drink by an unpaid intern.

Ben smiled when he was handed his, and quickly took a drink.

“I love free drinks, why pay, why ever pay?” Jen wondered sarcastically as she took a drink off of hers.

“I can’t find the moment…there it is,” Ben said rapidly, and he adjusted the lifts in his shoes to make him taller (with just a click of his heel). “Be sharp and ready, this movie is bigger than anyone. Just some handholding, and a good sprint through the old times,” reassured Ben hoping to calm his own nerves in the process. “Jim, don’t kid around with Larry, or he’ll bury what’s left of you in a hole,” Ben said in a growly I’m-not-sure-what I’m doing-either voice. He snatched an extras mirror out of her hand and checked his hair. Ben smiled, and then sneakily dropped the mirror in a dumpster, and walked off.

“O.k.” said Jim hollowly as he hid the fact he was not happy about being told to do anything. He walked along keeping his eyes on the scenery, and his temper cool. He knew though, that not everyone would catch their break today. Jim made sure Ben was in his mind’s eye for the moment (but not for good).

They walked under the head of Pip the Lemon Square Dragon. When they did, there was a puff of lemon scented air shot down on them. Ben paid it little mind, and kept his walking pace accelerated.

“O.k. then, scripts don’t write people, actors do,” explained Ben half hoping to convince everyone (including himself) of this fact. “Be on your toes,” said Ben warmly as he stood there outside Larry’s office checking his lapel for lint. Then he spun around and gracefully opened the door and said sarcastically,” Is it too early to end my career?”

Larry smiled at this: studying the tallness of Ben, and the confidence in his chest, and right dancing hand, he saw to it that he met Ben just before he could sit down in one of the green leather chairs.

“It’s always time to start, how are you, Ben?” Larry asked coyly as he thought about Ben in the coma. “I heard it was terrifying and like a cell of screams,” remarked Larry without flinching, as he held Ben’s hand; and looked him in the eye like a lion eyeing a forgotten piece of meat.

“Worse, much worse,” answered Ben sadly as he tried to keep the coma out of his present thoughts.

He could perceive Larry sizing up his mental state. “That’s all behind me now, Larry, I’m ready to work.

Can you give me the angle on my character? Anything, rules are made to be broken right?”

“Yes, yes they are, but not this time,” Larry beamed as he looked at Jen and Jim. “This is the all world script the whole town wants, Ben. If you were 10 years younger, you’d already have it. As it is, the whole town thinks you’re going to blow it your first role out,” he said as he fussed with some papers on his desk. “Although I heard you were doing quite well over there at Warner Brothers. We’ll see, at least I can get you 30, no more,” explained Larry as he sat down and motioned for Jim and Jen to sit down as well.

Ben nodded politely, but he was very angry at his loss of stature. He knew in Hollywood lip service was your career.

Ben straightened. “Look, I’m there.”

Ben’s politeness, eagerness, and obvious spinning wheels argued caution for Larry. Larry satisfied his lust for manipulation with a stern eagle-eye glance at Ben. He asked,” Really, you’re acting at a high

level, but this, be, the Highest. No one gets cast unless they win the fucking Oscar in the audition. That’s the only advice I can give you, don’t save anything. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d love to see you act,”

insisted Larry coyly hoping to catch Ben off guard.

“Let’s go!”

Jim grinned at this, Jen smiled, and they both watched Ben stay perfectly calm. Larry knew if Ben was on his game, it was a big addition for the movie (as winning the lottery would be to your bank account).

“Seems the old hound has some rabbit left in his teeth,” Larry clicked his teeth together. “Get up!”

Larry demanded as he smiled and pulled out a long cigarette holder. Ben got up, and Larry walked over and looked him up and down. He chuckled like a child and said flatly,” I’d sleep with you. Let’s go hunting,” said Larry slyly as he put his arm around Ben; and they walked out a small door behind his desk. Jim and Jen watched this and didn’t know if that meant them too. Larry motioned with his hand through a window for them to come as well. It was like the king of England granting you title, half the country, and your own army to boot.

“Nice!” Jim muttered as he pumped his fist. “We need this, Jen, we need to see it,” Jim whispered nervously as he tried to calm his nerves. Jim looked at the pictures on the walls; and it was a list of everyone that had nailed every great role you could imagine, a literal cast from the centuries for the greatest film ever, life. He wanted on that wall, and he wanted it worse than a starving child would a bowl of rice.

“I know, but he needs it more,” insisted Jen. “Jim, lay something down, that’s all. You’ve got great things in you, let them out for once,” Jen said softly as she kissed Jim on the cheek; then she ran out of things to say, thought about nailing it herself, then she ran away from him.

Jim let out a sigh, and chased after her like a late passenger for the midnight train to Georgia.

When they got outside, they saw Larry and Ben hanging around and waiting for them on a spiral outdoor elevator. It would spiral around in circles as it went ever downward (it used a series of thick red cables to lift and drop it). The elevator looked like an attacking puma and had couches inside for talent only.

“Well then, are we going?” Larry asked coyly as he wanted to size up Jen and Jim.

Jim felt confidence bathing his body. He thought about the reflex he needed to win the role and nothing but.

Jen ran full out the last couple steps, stopping abruptly, and sitting down. She said,” Yes, yup.”

Jim darted over to the elevator and sat down facing Larry. Jim replied smoothly,” Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Good then, we’re going!” said Larry sharply as he pressed in the accelerator, and they quickly spun downward at incredible speed.

Jim held on with both hands, and he knew they could wipe it at any moment. He felt like the first man to go bravely to the bottom of the ocean. Memory of success soothed his every movement (he still had his confidence). He had a feeling it would change everything, and he was ready.

Ben pressed in the gas on the elevator, and they went even faster now, but they were descending a bit too fast into the ground. Beneath Paramount there were hundreds of miles of caves and hidden studios.

They did this to prevent the IRS from knowing their true wealth.

“This is really great,” exclaimed Jim tangentially as he smiled, but then a bat hit him right in the mouth, giving him a bloody lip. Jim shouted angrily,” WHAT the FUCK?!”

Ben and Larry laughed like high school kids watching a friend trip on the stairs, as they knew enough to duck the bats.

“Careful now, don’t lose your cool,” insisted Larry hollowly. “It happens, Jim, I’ve been hit many times. We make sacrifices to live where they live, o.k.?” Larry said reassuringly earning a stern glance from Jim, in spite of this he offered Jim his hand.

Jim looked at Larry-feeling 50 sets of smiling eyes on him-and shook his hand. ” Yes, yes I’m sorry for my outburst. It won’t happen again,” answered Jim hollowly as he was rip-roaring pissed, and wanted to punch someone worse than the heavyweight champ. Jim could see Larry was pretending to buy it, and he knew if that was the case, it was fine by him.

Larry smiled and put his hand on Ben’s thigh, and Ben didn’t react. Larry knew Ben was ready for anything, and that meant a performance of note. Larry asked fretfully,” Oh dreadful, are those fat actors in my studio?”

“Yes, they are quite portly,” replied Ben, as he could see several overweight-forever hopeful this was their big chance-extras that had snuck in; and he knew they were hoping to catch their big break. They were clustered together hiding behind a set for the later auditions; and looking like nervous women in nothing but naked on the beach.

“Yeah, donut for breakfast, donut for lunch, no wait it’s dinner again, I can’t decide,” Jim said sarcastically as he pushed out his own stomach and rubbed it in a circle. “They fuckin eat the whole craft service truck, and they burp up mayonnaise,” said Jim sarcastically as he was still licking his wounds.

Ben and Larry found this quite funny and they laughed as loud as their accomplishments in life would afford.

Larry looked at Jim- he wondered where this sensitive side of Jim was all along-and he loved Jim’s sarcastic side, and tried to see him in a role.

“Look, Larry, right there, those young directors are stealing film,” Ben pointed out the front of the elevator and he saw 2 up and coming directors stealing rolls of film-like baskets of bread-under each of their arms. Their names were Harry Fred and Bat Givingtee; and they were both very fit and tall.

“What are you doing there?!” demanded Larry. “Put that down you idiots! SECURITY!” Larry shouted as he stepped off the elevator; he found himself walking towards Harry and Ben, pointing his hand like a gun. Larry was incensed by this theft; and would get every dollar of his film back one way or another, or Harry and Bat would end up dead.

“Screw you, we’re taking it, and that’s it, Old Man!” Harry snapped. “Get outta here before I punch your ticket to die,” said Harry coldly as he handed the film to Bat, and quickly motioned for him to run for it.

Jim saw this, and he was really hoping this kid would get as fresh as summer grass. Jim jumped up and ran past Larry and cold-cocked Harry in the eye. The punch sent him reeling into an old west set.

Jim kicked him hard in the back, sending him through the set and into a spittoon-the spittoon was filled with horse spit and baked brown beans-and Jim said coldly,” You messed up this time, Pal! Your little head is gonna get cracked! Where ya running too, big talker, I’m right here?!” demanded Jim angrily as he spit on them.

Larry watched this with his hands making a square, as Jim’s eyes never left Harry, Larry noted. He framed Jim, and saw he had quite a look of brilliance when he was angry. Ben moved over to the left of the set to watch Harry get his ass kicked (loving every second of it too). They were bottom feeder directors, Ben knew that, he was not new to the dinner-they drugged and drank their chances away, always fighting the system and success-and he knew they undoubtedly worsened their own chances because of an uncanny fear of success, of happiness, of finally having no one to blame, but acting like they’d done nothing to bring failure and raging waters their way, and they were the ones Ben thought of

often when he thought about giving up. Today, Ben didn’t have time for bruises, which is why he didn’t speak up (Even though he really wanted to pound Harry and Bat for their lack of originality).

“Careful, Jim, you could kill him!” Jen cried anxiously as she ran up beside Ben.

“Oh no, don’t worry about that,” Larry assured, his mind was seeking blood for payment. “We’ll just cement them into the walls, its fine, Jim, kick his ass,” said Larry verily with baited breath. He kept quickly framing Jim with his hands; however he could see Jim certainly would fill up the seats as an action hero.

The violent spark Jim felt-so large and all encompassing-hit home. Jim gave Harry a hard military style knee in the gut; and grabbed him by the hair and tossed him into a fake glass window like he was a bucket of dirty tap water. Harry tried to stand up, but his wrist was broken. He looked around and everything looked blurry. He asked,” Can I go home now, please?”

“You are home, enjoy the scenery,” Ben growled, as he started to think he could use Jim’s anger in his audition. He watched Jim carefully-like a tiger stalking warm prey-and he saw a real vicious heart in his eyes. Jim glared at Harry with cold dead eyes; and what was left of his inner debate to break his neck was rapidly finishing up, neck to be snapped, soon.

“Jim, just be a little less…,” Jen said hopefully as she interlocked her fingers. Jen prayed Jim wouldn’t kill him, mostly because her heart couldn’t take the utter grimness death brought to us all, like waiting customers of death.

Jim snapped out of it when she said this-not wanting to do anything violent with a clear mind-and Jim looked over at her and coughed into his armpit. Jim hated being a jerk in front of Ben (seeing as he really didn’t want to go jeopardizing their friendship) but now he was so jacked up he regretted stopping.

“Jim, security’s here, you’ve done excellent,” Larry said lightly, again intently watching his reaction.

Big heaving chest and faraway eyes; he was well in control of his emotions, but murder was definitely

lurking inside. “I need to talk to you, but why don’t you have a fruit smoothie first? You still seem angry, Jim, you’ve gotta learn how to tame it,” he added coyly as he walked up to Jim and gently put his arm on his back like a rolled up sweater.

“Yeah, I could go for that smoothie, right now,” Jim replied breathlessly and working to calm his anger (and failing). “That guy, that idiot, he enraged me. If Jen there…hadn’t said anything, I probably would have pounded his head in. As crazy as that sounds,” said Jim breathlessly as his face reddened a bit, and his hands felt like they were on fire, as he cocked his head slightly.

“Good then, let’s have a smoothie!” Larry said brightly as he beamed.

Larry showed them the way through the caves; making their way past several large elaborate sets for the movie Living Grape (and several changing rooms made to look like cowboys 20 feet high). It looked as if you were walking through an old western town, with caves as the backdrop.

They heard a large group of clamoring actors and actresses-very much like seagulls descending on a loaf of unwatched bread-in the distance (where several dozen people were cheering them on). Jim and Jen wondered what it was, but Ben and Larry already knew.

“What is that I wonder?”

“Jen, you’ll soon find out,” Larry said with a smile. “Drink, why waste a smoothie I say,” Larry said coyly as he sipped his strawberry smoothie, but his mind was swirling around corrupting Jim, and soon.

“Yeah, why indeed,” Jim said as he took the lid off of his smoothie and downed it in one drink. He knew they were watching, and that was the point of being there he thought. Jim took a long breath and said happily,” that really hit the spot.”

“Happy to hear it, Jim, very happy,” replied Larry as he put his arm around Jim and rested his head on his shoulder. Larry thought Jim was very attractive; however Jim-knowing already to not drink

anything he left alone for even a second-didn’t find men attractive at all, but he played the game regardless.

Drinking the last of their smoothies and walking down the left wall of a yellow cave; they saw lights every 15 feet creating almost a fog tunnel. When they neared the end of the cave, they saw a glass dome with people sitting around and lying on top of it. The mahogany doors leading into the dome had the sign DON’T LEAVE IT AT HOME burned into the dark wood.

“Again,” Ben whispered as he fussed with his hair.

“Yes, always worth the trip, Ben.”

“Yes, Larry, always,” Ben replied softly as he looked around and saw the usual faces. He looked for Beth and thankfully didn’t see her anywhere; that alone relieved him of all worry.

When they walked up to the doors, they swung inward before they could even touch them (operating on breath control sensors). There they saw a massive half mile set, with the auditions for Living Grape being run at each of 300 locations (simultaneously). Each different scene had snake like lines-of the best and brightest-for each role with people milling about. The music of an old blues band called the Self Made Men echoed throughout the expanse; and everything was alive like a new strawberry after the winter thaw.

“Wow, Larry, this is intense,” Jim’s voice like a plate being dropped, sharp and jarring. “I love it!

This is my kind of audition.”

“Yes, Jim, you survive here, you’re cast for the rest of your life,” Ben said as he hid his nerves and used his-800 dollars an hour to learn-breathing techniques. Ben looked and saw some old friends; and then he saw a bright light shinning out of a cave. His eyes were transfixed on this, as he remembered a similar light, enveloping him sometimes when he was in the coma. He felt nervous seeing this just then;

however the light was revealed to be a small car driving several actresses home (dressed in small pieces of loin cloth).

“Ben, your script,” Jen said as she handed Ben his lines. Ben looked down at the script, and his old reflexes turned on. He read it quickly, and then read through it again, one paragraph at a time. Once he knew the gist, and the purpose of every word, he had it cold.

“Jim Nuts, is that you?” Fred asked in disbelief, as he was working as a gaffer in Jim’s scene.

“Fred?” Jim asked in disbelief as his eyes lit up. “What are you doing here?”

“Workin’ gotta pay some bills,” Fred said as he smiled from under a black military gas mask. “Are you in this scene?”

“Yeah why?” asked Jim quickly.

“Because this is the most outrageous thing I have ever seen,” insisted Fred as his voice relayed fear to Jim as he intended it to. “You need to go BIG. They’ve been doing it all day. Don’t talk soft, the director hates that. And OH, I need to un-tuck your shirt,” Fred said as he grabbed Jim’s shirt and pulled it out of his pants; like he was shucking corn back home. “The director got pissed an hour ago at someone who was too clean, and too dressed up,” Fred explained with his voice echoing off the wall they were standing by; but he made sure to look around for Laron the director-knowing he’d flip out if he caught him giving Jim tips-and thankfully he wasn’t close by.

“Good advice, what’s the director’s name?” Jim asked as he looked around and saw several actors doing similar takes on Henry Gista, Jim’s character.

“Laron, don’t look him in the eye for long,” Fred whispered like he knew the winning lotto numbers.

“Remember that rhyme, he’ll slap you, I’m serious. Jim, I gotta go, nice seein’ ya, Buddy,” said Fred quickly as he hurried back into position, and flipped his hat back.

Jim keenly watched this, and he started to visualize the character as if he was a loud mouth. He couldn’t see it at first-living in his head sat too many stenotypes of bullies-but then he got it in a flash. He looked around and saw another actor looking right at him, a man named Gil Puto. Jim didn’t look away but tapped his index finger to his chin-as he had done as a child when he was nervous-and wondered if Gil had been listening to their conversation.

“It’s already cast ya know, no point,” Gil said hollowly as he wiped his wet hands-that were from a soda he had borrowed permanently from Laron’s private cooler-and walked over to Jim.

“Nah, I don’t believe you,” Jim answered coldly. “It will be though, so you can go back to your Hyundai and Starbucks,” said Jim jokingly as he looked away from Gil like he smelled bad. Jim started walking slowly away from Gil, as Gil hurriedly walked towards him.

“No, I’M cast in the role,” Gil squawked hollowly, as he wasn’t cast and hadn’t even read for it (he was moving Jim from the audition line very carefully).

“No, you’re HIGH or crazy, either way you’re wrong.”

Gil looked at Jim walking off like he’d won; hoping to get Jim to walk too far away when his name was called, which would cost him the role, and give Gil the part. It suddenly dawned on Jim what was happening. He spun around with fire in his eyes; and shoved Gil hard into a row of green plastic chairs.

“Oops, sorry I didn’t see you there,” Jim said hollowly with a cocky grin. “You should be more careful,” said Jim coyly as he knew what the score was. Jim calmly walked back to the line of actors-like he was THE MAN-but said nothing to them but pure silence.

“You’re ready, Jim, let’s show the world,” Larry said as he put his hands on Jim’s arms and smiled at him.

Jen watched this eagerly, as she was praying Jim would nail his scene.

“Jim, just take one thread from the beginning to the word cut,” said Jen. “It works, focus on it,” Jen muttered warmly-concealing her nervousness-as she waved to Jim and heard his name called.

Jim looked at Jen, gritting his teeth, and grinned mischievously. He walked through the horde of actors-some good, most acting famous and working at Denny’s-and came to a stop on his mark, in front of an old grey haired actor. The actor’s name was Michael Doldy (and he loved making people squirm).

The set was of a small diner-on the outskirts of town-and it was called Mabel’s. 5 extras were sitting in the back-acting like they were going to get famous-and Jim knew this and said nothing. He stood there awaiting Laron’s direction like a gladiator waiting for the lions.

“Bore me already, act!” Laron demanded sharply, as he was sick of all the bad reads that he had been watching all day. He motioned with the back of his hand-like a new Caesar-and Jim took a step to the side. Jim grabbed a cup full of non-alcoholic beer from an extra, and hurled it at Michael.

“What the?!” cried Michael as he looked at his soaked and newly stained shirt. “Who dares do this?

Show yourself!” Michael growled angrily, as he spun around wiping the beer off his leather vest and pants.

“Shut up you fat fart stealer!” Jim replied coldly as he slowly walked towards Michael. “There’s someone here needs to know your burial song,” said Jim as he threw a chair at Michael, kicked the table clean through, and got ever closer to a now terrified Michael Doldy. Jim stood there with his hand on an imaginary gun, and his eyes ripping through Michael’s confidence building techniques and memories (like they were air).

“A pig farmer, a swine diner,” Michael snorted as he wiped the beer on his forehead back into his hair. “Come on, someone left there barn boy here, take him home already. Please, someone save his wretched life,” Michael pleaded coyly as he moved his hand to the whip at his side.

Jim watched this and knew it was a real whip (and could do real damage). Jim pulled out his prop gun, spit out the side of his mouth, and walked right up to Michael cackling as he did.

“You whip me with that, I’ll kill your ass!” exclaimed Jim snidely, laughing like the light was out in his personal lighthouse above the ears. “Put it down, Fucker, all the way down. DROP IT!!” shouted Jim angrily as he punched Michael in the stomach. Michael doubled over, and tossed the whip to the side like he’d been caught stealing money.

“Please, someone, your goat has wandered into my hands,” Michael shot back. “Won’t you release me from this?” Michael asked as he was now on one knee; and he coughed a few times like a lifetime cigarette smoker would do most days.

Laron knew that was the end of this shot; however, he did not say cut, and so they continued acting.

“Come now, pig farmer to pig, let’s make it even!” Jim thundered as he slammed his fist into the wall. “Huh, one shot to your head then you shoot me? It’s so easy and fair, that the WHOLE BAR

knows it. Get up, and BRING IT!” Jim shouted as he stood over Michael unaware he was in danger of pounding Michael’s head in (he was too angry to even know what it was he was capable of in that moment).

Michael’s hands started shaking and he offered Jim his forearm; however, Michael was scared of Jim like a person feeding a lion without a cage (the arm was a sign of weakness and Jim knew it). Jim took the gun and put the barrel to Michael’s head. He went to pull the trigger, but he saw there was a live round in the chamber, and stopped.

“Why are you stopping?!” asked Laron, his irritability had risen now, becoming outright anger.

“Shoot him,” Laron barked sharply, he rose up out of his director’s chair and strode right up to Jim.

Laron was sizable, with large powerful arms like a wrestling champion (without the curved ears) and large muscular thighs.

“Look, it’s got real bullets in the gun,” Jim explained. “I’m not going to prison, for a role,” Jim said as he passed the heavy gun to Laron.

“It would only be manslaughter, 5 years tops,” Laron said, eyes open and keenly watching Jim.

“Michael, here, would not have minded, right?” asked Laron as he inspected the gun like it was some sort of ancient Egyptian artifact. Laron knew hayseed-and he concluded Jim thankfully was not one-when he saw one.

“Uhh, yes I would have,” Michael said reluctantly as he averted his gaze from Laron’s staring eyes.

“I came to act, not get shot,” explained Michael nervously as he sat there on the floor holding his gut.

Jim watched this happen; and he kept to himself. He knew this movie was turning people crazy; and he worried it would devour them all-like a large tidal wave-if they all cowered to the producers…or so he had thought. Jim kept his mind on the many people to manipulate around the set-just let off some steam by insulting some jerk he thought. And like most actors his emotions were at the will of his good fortune of finding misfortune.

“Tisk, tisk, whatever, Jim, you’ve got the roll,” Laron said as he hugged Jim from the side. “Jim, you and I are simpatico, ain’t love grand. Michael, your role is being recast, sorries,” Laron said sleekly as he eyed the gun; then he smiled and set it down on the counter.

Jim pumped his fist one time for every time he kicked ass that day (5 in total). He looked around for a place to sit for a minute; and he spied a red chair off to the side. His mind was on stardust and big paydays; however, he knew this role would make or break him (they all knew).

Jen meanwhile was nearing the end of her read as the wholesome Bes Goodpenny. She stood there with a knife in her hand-and her husband tied to the bed-staying completely in character.

“Honey, all your whorin’, has made a man out of me,” Jen admitted her voice softly persuasive. “I guess, since I’m of the man nature now. I can KILL, like a man. Because, that pair of women you slept

with in OUR BED, they changed me,” confessed Jen as she tossed the blade she was carrying from hand to hand. “I ‘mit it, they changed me and Jesus.” “Why don’t you say nothing?” asked Jen. “Aren’t we still together?” Jen asked as she started to spit when she spoke. “Oh, you’ve got that rag in your mouth, of course that’s it. Here’s for 15 years of marriage, and sweet divorce,” Jen crowed as she made her way over to the other actor. She proceeded to violently stab the dummy torso of the actor: therefore he screamed like he was dying well beyond her blows (overacting got you stand in work).

“Good, very good,” Laron said with an air of superiority. “I like how devious you are, Jen, best read of the day. Alright, you can stop killing Nick now. If you want,” said Laron jokingly to his assistant director Jeremy Doulkool and grinned; but he knew enough to continue watching Jen (who was laughing at her final stabs to the head).

“Do I have to?”

“Yes, you can’t kill Nick,” Jeremy warned using a voice that said: I am not attracted to you physically, emotionally, or in any other way nor will I ever be. “I’ve tried, he doesn’t die as well as you’d think,” confessed Jeremy. “He tends to run, and call the police. It’s old news, moving on,” Jeremy said sarcastically as he stood up; then he walked over and put his hands on Jen’s shoulders.

Jen giggled and stuck her tongue out the side of her mouth (like a dog begging for a treat). And she asked sarcastically,” Do I get to kill ma too?”

“No, not in this one, you’ll have to kill a random stranger,” replied Jeremy dryly as he stripped off Jen’s boots and clothes (seeing, as they were needed for future scenes). “I know, tough being a homicidal actor, but that’s the gift you have. I truly believed you as a vindictive bitch that could kill people. And for that, you have earned a place in my heart. Now run along, I am contractually obligated to read 10

more people,” Jeremy snapped sarcastically as he showed Jen the way out of the shot; thusly, and then into the lounge area to the left (several plates full of caviar were there for the talent).

Jim saw this and he wondered if the actors were supposed to mingle or not; Jim thought that actors should have their space for dissecting, not hilarity.

Ben was entering his scene with: a pot of honesty, some bread, and his eyes on Byron lying down next to the fireplace.

“O.k. Byron, we’ve got good food, and that is good,” Ben said with a casual voice that disarmed Byron. “All good people require this mortal thing. And your father is no different. Here ya go,” Ben said in a deeper voice than normal. He sat down next to Byron Indian style-quickly thinking about winning the director’s eye by playing with Byron-and he started to put honey on the bread.

“I killed him,” shot back Byron emotionless as the dead.

“What, killed who?” inquired Ben as he continued spreading the honey. “Not Tommy Simpson up the road? Byron, you didn’t,” Ben asked hollowly not caring either way; and he set down the bread and looked at Byron with elementary school playtime eyes.

“Luther, the son of Kane, dead!” husked Byron as he punched Ben in the thigh. “Sorry, I know you too were friends, but friends with niggers, is friends with Satan. I can’t have my pa and preacher going to hell, and I won’t. That’s it, I shot him dead as Sunday,” insisted Byron coldly as he started to cry. He looked into the flames disappearing into the flickering light; and he went to punch Ben’s leg again, but Ben moved before he could.

“Byron, they’ll kill you for this,” Ben said, making it certain he was not going along with this. “How could you have done that? My friend, my dear friend dead,” said Ben tearfully. “Look, you can’t live here anymore. If you stay, they’ll kill us all,” Ben demanded as he rocked back onto his hands. “Your sisters and ma deserve a good life. Get up, and get the HELL OUTTA HERE,” insisted Ben as he stood up like a lightning bolt; and he kicked the bread into the flames (their pet poodle Romtop, tried to drag the bread out of the flames without burning its nose).

Byron sat up and glared at Ben. He had ten years of hatred pumping through his eyes-mostly using sense memories of an abusive father to draw upon-and Ben stood there quietly and took it (the scene was his).

“How…how can you DITCH ME!” Byron accused as he spit at Ben. “I killed him for you. It’s not my damn fault he was Kane, not mine. I...I just thought it would be good,” explained Byron tearfully as he broke down, and then looked up at a stolid Ben.

Ben looked around and saw hatred in his breaths; and a rifle on the mantle. He calmly picked it up and shot Byron in the face in one continuous motion. Byron fell hard to the floor-like a sack of silver dollars being dropped from a high perch-and the whole crew froze. Ben set the gun back on the mantle.

And he started calmly dragging Byron’s body out of the room, and off the set.

The entirety of the crew started applauding with rabid excitement. Laron had been watching secretly on his video sunglasses. He sprung up out of the director’s chair; and skipped over to where Ben was.

“Ben Train, can still act,” Laron said in disbelief.

“Always,” Ben said flatly as he brushed off the dust from his clothes.

“Oh god, we’ve got a movie now,” Laron said with a tone intermingled with double meanings.

“Ben, you’re cast, damn it, who would have guessed it,” said Laron as he hugged Ben; then took his face into his hands and gave it a gentle shake. Ben knew that maneuver all too well; he knew it meant success if you felt it but once.

“Sometimes the old wind meets the new day, Laron,” Ben joked as he used depressing sense memories so he wouldn’t laugh like a first time actor. “I won’t blow this, you can forget that shit,” Ben said honestly while his mind played a movie in his head. He stood there trying not to smile or cry, and he succeeded. He was feeling a rollercoaster of emotions, but he didn’t want to get off.

Jim looked in on Ben; and saw the whole crew still applauding. Jim muttered,” Somebody got cast.”

Jim knelt down, and grabbed a handful of dirt, and let it ooze through his fingers. “Man, a movie with Ben Train, this is unbelievable.”

“What’s unbelievable?” Jen asked as she knelt down beside Jim.

“OH hey, Jen, ahh…Ben, just got cast.”

“You’re kidding me, Jim Nuts, just now?”

“Yeah, look over there,” Jim said, as a mischievous smile walked across his face like an elephant in the Serengeti. “He must have kicked complete ass. Wow, I wish I could have seen it, ya know,” Jim admitted as he looked at the dirt. Jim looked up and calmly watched Ben pretend to pull out a long white cigarette-at least he wanted you to think it was-however it was nothing but a handful of air to make the kids laugh. Ben sucked on the air; and it looked as if he was really smoking.

“Holy cow, he’s back,” Jen’s hand against her lips. “I knew it!” said Jen excitedly, jumping up and down and holding onto Jim’s shoulders. Jim grinned and started to chuckle; because he could tell then they were going on the ride of a lifetime.

“Did you get cast, Jen?”

“I don’t know yet,” Jen answered as she grabbed the back of her neck with both hands. “They still have more people to see. Did you, Jim?”

“Yeah, they said I got the part,” Jim replied with a tone of voice weaker than normal. “So, if you could get off your tail feather and ah…get cast, we could all work together. So go do some disgusting sexual favors, it doesn’t work but it’s funny,” Jim said sarcastically, standing there squeezing his script tightly. He knew now he’d get his shot at a real movie with the best there ever was.

“Alright, I’ll be alright, Mr. Crude, yes I will.”

“Jen, Laron has decided to cast you,” Jeremy snapped as he tapped her on the shoulder. “You need to be available all day tomorrow for a fitting. And we checked with Paramount, they had another fire and the entirety of their sets were destroyed, sorries,” Jeremy said as he gave Jen the fitting number to think about when she called. “So basically they’re not lending you to us, we bought your ass. Jim, your sets are burned too,” said Jeremy as he patted Jim on the back.

“You’re kidding, who did it?”

“Some gang of kids,” Jeremy replied with a sense of joy in his voice. “Apparently they were hoping to burn down the whole studio, but we caught them. Now they’re enjoying the cement life, if you know what I mean. Bye, Jen, Jim, we’re hoping for big things from you both,” Jeremy said warmly as he walked off with a certain-I won the lottery-bounce in his step.

“Damn, I bet Richard is pissed,” Jim said in disbelief as he thought about how lucky he had just gotten. “Well, hey, fate either helps you or hurts everybody. I guess we’re just supposed to do this movie. It makes me nervous to think that ah…that the gang of thieves could get in here and do the same thing. That would really suck,” admitted Jim sadly as he grimaced and hit his leg with the script.

“Jim Nuts, who cares we’re in the picture!” Jen gushed as she draped her arms around Jim’s neck.

“Let’s go talk to Ben and berate him for awhile. Race ya,” Jen said playfully as she gestured for Jim to follow her; and then hit Jim in the balls and ran away. Jim went after her like a fox to a rabbit; and they could see Ben sitting alone drinking a glass of water.

“Ben, I saw it man, you kicked ass.”

“Thanks, Jim, it was fine day for acting,” said Ben smoothly as he sipped his water. “Did you get in the picture?”

“Yeah, both of us got in,” Jen interjected as she flexed his muscles like a bodybuilder. “We’re gonna make your life a living hell,” said Jen sarcastically as she sat down beside Ben on a wooden crate marked NOT CHEAP.

Ben looked forward and then said,” I waited for this, long time I waited. I’ve acted big drama, but not like this. This is better, more resolute,” Ben continued as his hand went in and out of his pocket a few times. “I would cheer and yell, but I’ve lost 3 Oscars doing that very thing. If you want some advice, show up every day and be serious. Jokes are fine at the end of the day, but don’t let them mingle with the work.”

“That’s good advice, we’ll do just that,” Jim said as he stood there surveying the cave to keep the right mental frame of mind in case the director was looking his way (and he was). He knew how to play big poker with little money. He saw this as nothing more than step one with many steps yet to come his way. Jim felt honored to act with Ben, but he also knew from what he’d read, he was a scene stealer. Jim had different ideas about who was getting the acclaim.

Chapter 6

LIVING GRAPE

Living Grape was completely cast; and shooting started on time. A few months went by, and the cast marveled at Jim’s, Jen’s, and Ben’s performances. It was as if they had written the movie themselves. Laron felt this one would bear him the fruit of Oscar, but he didn’t dare admit it to himself.

They all sat beside one another on a wooden picnic table; as they waited for the midday sun direction. The outdoor boom town set went for 2 miles; and had several bars and banks along the way.

There were several extras hanging out across the street trying to stare Ben down, but he paid them no mind. He was thinking about the scene the 3 of them were about to act. He knew all too well Jim was exceeding his talent, and this scared Ben to death.

“Jim?”

“Yeah, Ben,” Jim answered as he yawned and mopped up the sweat on the back of his neck, as he had his black cowboy hat sitting on his lap precariously.

“What are your feelings on this next scene?”

“I don’t know, I’m just going to play it as it stands,” Jim said hollowly as he tried not to laugh and give it away that he had plans ( big plans indeed). “If we get lucky, all three of us will end up bruised or dead,” Jim said coyly as he looked down the dusty dirt main street; this while he kept Ben at bay by not looking at him. Jim knew what he was doing-warming up the old faucet to get Jim’s ideas flowing-and he wasn’t going to be giving him any helpful hints.

“Hey, where are all the losers?!” Jen yelled jokingly as she waved to the extras.

Ben and Jim laughed and flicked off the extras. The extras cheered-some of whom trying to befriend Jen-and one of them mooned Jim. Jim looked at them with suspicion, puzzlement, and cockiness.

“That’s 3rd lead ass at best!” Jim howled as he acted like he was going to fall off the picnic table.

“Better luck next life!” Jim yelled jokingly as he smiled like a cheetah, and sat back in his seat.

Ben sat silently: saying nothing, doing very little, or thinking of anything at all to say. Ben knew this next scene would make or break them all.

“Ben?”

“Yes hi there, Laron.”

“We’re ready to go, it’s you and Jen here by the water,” Laron explained with his hands moving like they had a spastic tick to them. “And, Jim, you’re at the end of the street. Jim, when the clock strikes noon, then you find Ben and Jen, alright?” Laron asked as he checked the sight lines on the street. He rubbed Jim’s shoulder-one he had been rubbing every day-and took him down the street to his mark.

They had tapped a white x in the dirt, right where Jim was to stand.

“Alright then, it’s you and me, Gorgeous,” Ben said like he was acting the scene for real just then.

“What say we break the rules today?” Ben asked smoothly with a smirk on his face; and he kept watching Jim setting up out of the corner of his eye. Ben’s training-10 years with Ruth Roisteinberg-meant he knew that training would serve him well today.

Jen pulled back her dress and showed her underpants. She made certain-as she wanted all eyes on her- to keep her dress stuck in one of her garter belts to throw everyone off. She turned to Ben and said nothing; but gave him the feeling she was going to, as she was manipulating the scene foxy good. Ben looked at her-and used all he could summon inside-and said nothing to her of note.

“O.k. Jim, if it’s alright with you,” Laron said as he looked into Jim’s eyes like they were having sex.

“I’d like you to destroy Ben and Jen. Just walk over their performances, like an Oscar winner would.

Don’t, don’t say anything. We just have a different pecking order now, understand?” Laron asked-with a

tone he saved for stars and stars alone-as he looked into Jim’s eyes with a seriousness that told it all to Jim.

“I got it, and I will,” Jim answered firmly as he nodded his head and shook his arms out. “Time for a little mischief,” Jim said coldly as he walked over to his mark (just off the side of the patio of Tompkin’s bank) and Jim sat there eyeing Jen and Ben. He had a strong feeling that he was about to make some enemies, but it was what he had to do, and he was still JUST DOING IT.

“Jen, lovely, it’s only dying,” Ben said.

Jen acted like she was choking and contorted her face. She walked out one more step into the street; and faced the townspeople like they were nothings.

“Alright, sound, and action!” thundered Laron as he threw up his hand like a whip.

“You’re idiots TO ME!” Jen screamed crazily as she spit out the sides of her mouth. “Nothing more than god’s lost chewing gum. I’ve killed your sheriff, and I kicked his head in to do it! Come ON, all of you TRY ME!” thundered Jen angrily as she kicked up the dirt; and she pulled out a long pistol from the back of her dress (it had a red handle and silver gun barrel reading MOMMA STOLE THE COWS

DADDY).

Ben saw his mark, and leapt off the barrel he was sitting on; and raced over to Jen. He put his poison covered fingers into her mouth; and then slapped the inside of her throat. This caused her to swallow the poison-which was the way all good cowboys died back then (by blueberry cool-aid)-and she started to convulse.

“It’s alright now!” Ben insisted as he stood there looking-with eyes so wide they damn near fell out of his head-at the onlookers. “She is filled with SATAN’S DEMONS! I will have to rid her of these failings! If any of us are to live, her soul must become pure again. I will kill her, and ensure she makes it to HEAVEN. Please, someone hand me a pistol and end this poor child’s misery? Please, for God’s

sake,” pleaded Ben hollowly as he held both sides of Jen’s face. She tried to fight him off, but the poison had taken hold and she started to foam at the mouth (they used baking soda and flower to create the effect).

The barber named Mr. Luther Grimsly-wearing a grey suit and a red cowboy hat-handed Ben a-black handle black barrel-revolver and said firmly,” We don’t want any god damn Satan, in our town. Do what you must, Preacher.”

“Of course you don’t,” Ben said with a voice as soft as bed sheets. “I will take on this BURden, and make the woman whole, once more. Here, for the love of purity,” Ben said hollowly as he fought with Jen to get the revolver to her head. Ben exhaled and shot her twice in the side of the head; and she fell hard onto his brown leather boots.

“Good goings, Preacher, you saved us today!” Luther cheered as he walked over to Ben and quickly took the revolver back.

“Of course, and you are all welcome,” Ben said hollowly as he wiped the sweat from his brow with his sleeve. “And you’re welcome at my church, anytime,” said Ben as he motioned with his hand like a circus conductor.

Jim walked out into the street and faced Ben; he did this with his hands at his side and his guns shinny new.

“Not just yet, not just yet,” Jim growled, as his eyes burned through Ben like a hot poker through a dry sock. “Seems you done away with my wife, Preacher, no?” asked Jim coldly as he flexed his whole body. “Nope I says that will not STAND!” Jim said defiantly to him as he kicked up some dirt onto his left boot. “I will crack open that evil skull of yours, and we’ll see if we can find some god. Come on now, make a move at me,” Jim begged coldly as the townspeople got out of the street as fast as they

could. A small boy-with brown curly hair-ran across the street in front of Ben quite suddenly; and ran into the Drink’s Are on You bar and whorehouse.

“There’s no need for SIN, here,” Ben responded with the utter warmth of his voice even stirring up the extras (however he paid only mind to Jim and Jim alone). “We are brothers, family, why should we destroy our community love? Please, Brother, don’t think ill of me for doing the Lord’s work,” Ben pleaded softly, while he reached into his pocket-without his eyes leaving Jim- and covered his fingers with the purple poison powder.

Jim lurked forward tapping the barrel of his guns together. The sound was deafening; as he walked ever closer to a contorted Ben-saying nothing, but death-nonetheless. He walked the last 7 feet-like a hammer hitting nails-and his hands were sweating dirt.

Jim grinned and asked hollowly,” Did she try and kill ya, Preacher?”

“Yes, of course she did, she had the VAPORS!”

“Did she ask for me in dying?”

“No, no she only asked for mercy, and I gave it.”

“Mercy is a knife without a handle,” shot back Jim emotionless and angry; with both his hands shaking out the care he did not feel. “Someone always gets cut. Preacher, I want to ask you one final question. The way you answer this, will decide if I blow your fuckin head off,” Jim said with a voice devoid of caring that only the undertaker knew well. He looked Ben up and down; with hatred in his eyes saved for murderers and dying hayfields alone.

“Yes, I have the answers to all your questions, Dear Brother,” Ben replied hollowly as he offered Jim his hand. “Please, Brother, ask me anything,” Ben pleaded with his legs tiptoeing towards Jim like they were walking on glass; while his hand-covered in poison-was extended out to Jim.

Jim did not even conjure up the thought of receiving him. He instead picked out Ben’s head with his gun; Ben’s face was white as morning toast from a broken toaster. Jim asked,” Did god abandon her, in her time of need?”

“What?”

“I will ask again, but not a third time,” responded Jim flatly as he failed to move an inch. “Did god abandon HER, in HER TIME OF NEED?”

Ben motioned with his hands up to the sky like it was beginning to rain; and he smiled like he’d won a new car and a haircut.

“She was lifted to a better place, a far greater place indeed,” Ben exclaimed hollowly with his arms catching planets that had just stopped falling. “God was here with her, and I channeled him through me,”

Ben bawled with steel tears and heavy glances racing in unison down to Jim’s eyes. He smiled with his hand jutting into his pocket-as he knew poison made lifelong friends of anyone-and got just a step away from Jim.

“Then you’re God?”

“Yes, in many ways.”

“Then all grievances stop with you?” Jim wondered with a voice as cold as January. Ben lurked forward with his poison soaked hand to jam it into Jim’s mouth; but Jim simply smiled-and squeezed out some revenge served to Ben’s eye for free, one time only-and shot him dead as summer hockey.

The unaffiliated townspeople came outside and encircled Ben’s contorted (though not exactly done bleeding, hole as it was and all) body. Soon they started singing God takes his time as fast as he can (an old railroad hymn) and Jim simply kept on walking down Main Street like it was only going his way. The

young boy-from before-chased after Jim and grabbed his hand suddenly. Jim bristled, and aimed his gun at the boy; it was taking Jim’s entire wherewithal to stop himself from shooting the young boy.

“Sir, you forgot her necklace,” Chester Helm-the small boy played by Walter Sing a soap commercial star-says unaware he is in any danger (like many people playing tag with a firearm find out) as he waves the gold necklace in front of Jim’s face. “Here ya go!” Chester said brightly.

Jim looked at the necklace momentarily-thinking of Jen-but turns and keeps on walking without taking the necklace.

“Good, good, o.k. we are still rolling on Jim 5th camera!” Laron demanded as he leapt from his director’s chair; he did this like he was jumping from an airplane without a chute. “Follow him to the end of the street. This will roll over the credits. JIM, shed me some tears if you would,” Laron yelled loudly as he watched the camera capture Jim’s improvisation.

Jim cried with his eyes looking off into the distance (for some distant star not yet found). Jim slowed and said solemnly,” I had my dream.”

“CUT!!” Laron shouted as if he had won the Powerball. “Great ending, Jim!” shouted Laron joyously. “Everyone let him hear it!” Laron yelled surprisingly as he rode up the street on a golf cart.

Jim simply kept walking: and then fell to his knees, then his back, and then flopped on the ground. He knew then he finally got to really act with the lights on in the theater. What a feeling!

Ben stood up; hugged Jen as hard as a jail cell-because he knew they all had something special there in that take-then he kissed her once on the lips.

“Ben, outstanding work,” Jen said honestly as she gave Ben a hug (more commonly seen only by grandmothers at Christmas) and smiled. She ran her finger down his nose-with a hint of flirting going on-and he beamed at this.

“It happened, what we all wanted happened,” Ben confessed as his eyes looked at the smiling faces of the extras. “I know this business; there won’t be another movie in your career this good. Won’t happen, but who cares, those are our lines now,” said Ben firmly as he peeled off his itchy clothes-smelling worse than the drunk tank-and wiped the fake blood from his face.

Jen eyed Ben keenly-as she knew then he was right-and she felt a certain prick of nervousness in her throat.

“Scoundrels!” snarled Jim at Ben and Jen as he rode over on the back of Laron’s golf cart. Jim laughed hard-like he’d farted in church-and stepped off the cart.

“NO way, you’re high,” Jen insisted as she ran over to Jim: hugged him hard, grabbed his pooper, and kissed him smack on the lips.

“I’m only high if the world is sober,” Jim answered sarcastically as he helped Jen pick him off the cart by leaning forward. “So I’m high, and hoping to get higher. Ben, you really blew it man, embarrassingly bad. No, I’m just kidding, it was atrocious,” Jim said sarcastically-meaning it if Ben wanted him too-as he chuckled and got kissed all over the face by Jen.

“This releases in August, you know what that means don’t ya?” Ben asked hollowly; hoping to throw Jim for a loop and cost him the Oscar.

“I know, but I’m not gonna say it,” Jen admitted cautiously as she danced over to Ben. “I’m not ruining my karma. Jim, do you want your karma ruined?” asked Jen as she felt all over Jim’s crotch like a late for prison suit maker.

“NO, WAY,” Jim snapped as he made the “you’re out at first” sign. “I’m not even saying those words until someone tells me I should. God, it’s not far off, what 8 months or something?” asked Jim hollowly as he knew just when it was; but he needed Ben thinking about it openly to get him to choke.

“God, there’s still time to do that gorilla talking baby, bank heist movie. And don’t we all want to see

that one?” Jim asked as he finally got Ben to laugh out loud. Ben could see Jim evolving as his confidence grew-and his arrogance-and it made him nervous.

“Jim, that is so true,” Ben said coyly as he pointed to the deep blue sky. He knew what he was doing, knew it all too well. “And you forgot the buddy picture with a talking snail, huh? You’ll win something for that one. Jim, can we get outta here? I need to pass out, and then sleep for a week,” Ben said with a fleeting smile; however Jen watched the extras spontaneously shout out uncontrollably, as they gave the 3 of them a standing ovation.

Ben looked over cautiously; and it caught him by surprise. He wouldn’t let his mind think of Oscar, not this time, he told himself.

They left Paramount studios on a high; and went to their separate homes. Jim slept for 2 days (and Jen for 3) as the feeling of sleep felt real once more. Jen awoke after the 3rd day; and saw on the news there was a forest fire in the hills. She instantly thought of Ben’s house and called him up. Her thoughts were of Ben being besieged by a horrible tragedy, after coming so close.

“Ben, are you o.k.?” Jen cried in a trembling voice.

“Yes, for now anyway,” he told Jen. “It seems the fire is on the other side of our ridge. The police tell me I can stay, but it’s iffy. I don’t know ah…what exactly to do,” confessed Ben sadly, his mind unable to focus, but thinking he might die today. “Julie wants to stay, because she can’t bear us losing all our memories. But I ah…I don’t want to die over some trophies and pictures. So, I don’t know,” Ben admitted anxiously as he lit up a cigar and took a drag; as he was more nervous than Jen had ever heard him be.

“I’ll tell you what, load all the things you can into your limo and run,” Jen insisted as she started walking around in circles. “There’s no point staying where you could die. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.”

“Yeah, yes, yes we’ll do just that, hold on a second,” Ben said mildly as he looked around the room; then Jen could hear him yelling in the background. ”We’re going, Julie, just start filling the limo! Yes we’re gonna make it, just hurry.” Ben spoke reassuringly,” O.k. then, we’ll take care of it. I’ll be at the Beverly Hills hotel if you need me. Just ask for Herman Crackapple, that’s my code name. Jen, I gotta go, bye for now,” Ben said quickly as he pressed in on his implant (this hung up the phone). And he scrambled to get all their possessions together. He felt like the last turkey in the barn come Thanksgiving.

Jim listened keenly to Jen talking; and he quickly raced upstairs from their gym in the basement. He walked over and put his hand on Jen’s head-thinking he had to be a caring person even if he wasn’t scared-and the gesture shocked her out of her feelings of dread for Ben. Jen turned to him impatiently, crying. Jim asked,” What’s up?”

“Oh, I’m very worried about Ben; there are fires in the hills,” Jen said as emotionally, she felt like wet paper. “I know this thing happens all the time, but I worry, that wife of his will do something stupid.

What does he see in her, that blabbermouth?” Jen raised her voice as she sat Indian style; karate chopping Jim gently on the back with the side of her hand.

“Sex, more sex, and slave labor,” Jim said as he tried not to grin. “That woman: can dig a ditch, make a teepee from dirt, and sing ‘til their one cow Rufus comes home. These are things all wives need, and men covet. Quite frankly, I could go for a good ditch digger myself. Ya know ah, you could go and dig me one, please, Kind Lady?”

Jen looked at Jim wide eyed-as if he had stolen her kitten-and with her mouth agape (she tried not to show any happy teeth for Jim just then).

“No, you dig your own ditch, Mister,” Jen said. “Hey, we should call Fred, Scott, and Jack-a-lack.

I’ll do it,” Jen said as she used her mind to think of Fred’s number; and a moment later her implant called him.

“Yeah, gaffer Fred here,” Fred answered drunkenly as he sat eating a cold cheeseburger.

“Fred, we need to know if you’re alright, well are you?” Jen asked using a garrulous tone; that spilled out of her in times of stress. “Are you o.k.?”

“In my pad, eating a pretty good cheeseburger,” Fred replied as he tried to keep his eyes open.