CHUM by John T Buckley - HTML preview

“Oh, my nails,” Jen exclaimed her hands fluttering above her head. “Is there a pedicurist in the audience?! Please someone, help!” Jen said as she showed the shocked and stunned onlookers her broken pointer fingernail.

“I can fix it, but you may lose the finger,” Jack said sarcastically as he and Scott picked up Pickle by the arms. They tossed him into the garbage shoot. And they calmly walked over to the window; and then watched Pickle’s body get crushed and launched off into space. Jack knew it was barbaric, but it was them or me, he thought. Better them.

“Look, ah let’s, ya know…keep moving,” Jim muttered his mind on getting some food. “I mean, chuck these LOS-ERS, and then let’s leave the scene of the crime. Jen, can you get a hold of this guy’s feet?” Jim asked as he picked up-a still gasping for air-Rand. Jen grabbed his feet; and they carried him over to the garbage shoot. Jim continued,” we came, we saw, we killed you. Accept it, you’re a deadbeat loser. Come on, that’s why you’re dead.”

Jen laughed and then they tossed Rand into the garbage shoot. Jim and Jen hurried over to the window to watch the vacuum of space crush him to death.

“Jim, that man had feelings,” Jen wisecracked as she tried not to laugh. “And our feelings killed him, killed him dead, Jim,” Jen pushed Jim gently with her elbow. She didn’t like violence, but she could still hear her father saying ‘if it’s your air or theirs, take a deep breath, Gorgeous.”

“Yeah whatever, space kills,” Fred said as he watched the crowd of people disperse. “Hey, why are Fred and old Scott the only ones lifting the body?”

“Fred, at least lift him off the carpet!” Jen said unbelievingly as she ran her fingers to the top of her head; and then stuck out her tongue like a cow would (the tongue drooping to the side).

“I’m trying, but he had a big lunch,” Fred said as he tried to carry Tento as best he could, but he was only able to drag him. Scott looked at Fred angrily-he knew he wasn’t pulling his end-and whistled.

Jen and Jack ran over and grabbed the sides of Tento. Then they hurled him into the garbage shoot (making a metallic thud sound when he landed).

“Ok, now we can go exploring,” Jim said with a sigh that made everyone relax. “If anyone asks, they tried to kill us. Which let’s face it, they did.”

“Of course, that’s what happened, Jim,” Jen said as she put her head under Jim’s arm. “Now, can we please go lookin’ for troub-le?” Jen asked as she walked with one leg dragging, for the fun of it.

They entered the hallway and saw pictures of all the great actors lining the walls. There were purple mini streetlights lining the hallway; with spade shaped doors every few feet. It seemed to snake its way through the whole backend of the ship.

“This is so,” Jim paused as a small blue man walked past him and he continued,” Whoa, didn’t see that dude comin’. I have to admit, blue men in the dark, kinda scary.”

“Jim, what’s that sound?” Jen asked her eyes darting around the hallway. “Everyone stop please.”

Jen listened hard and eyed the different doorways. She walked a dozen measured steps forward, and stopped at a door. Behind the door she could hear raised voices and high emotion.

Jim heard the voices and he and Scott stepped forward. Then Jim went to kick the door open; and Fred gently pushed it open with side of his hand. Fred said,” Just needed some Fred magic, pure and perfect.”

They looked up and saw Beth standing there dressed as a man; and she was sporting a painted on purple handlebar mustache. Gloria was wearing: a pair of panties, white tennis shoes, and anklets (but nothing more).

“Oh, it’s the cleaning crew,” Beth groaned her cigarette doing double duty now. “We don’t need these toilets cleaned, they’re fine. Now, run along, this is for talent only,” Beth said dismissively as she sucked on her cigarette holder (of course continuing to stay in character).

“I have talent, that’s why you hate me so much,” Jen answered her bright smile making Beth nauseous. “Jim here, can out act what’s her name there, Jaybird is it, naked ass?” Jen asked as she walked right out onto the dimly lit stage. There were directors sitting in the shadows-debating a Beth comeback.

The light on the stage was like a mosquito net; as there was no light beyond the edge of the stage, just blackness. There was a large Steinway piano near the back of the stage (made to look like a naked Liberace). And a single ivory chair with the inscription I DANCED, AND MUSIC FREED MY MIND

FROM REMEBERING SOFT PAIN. DANILE EVES (Daniel was the best piano player in the world the past 9 months).

“No, you’re not going to dismiss my girlfriend, you little bitch,” Beth said sharply her hand at her side rubbing her thigh. “No, I’d hate to bust that nose of yours, hate as in love. Please, keep pressing the button,” Beth said as she glared at Jen.

“O.k., this is what I say,” Jen continued, “I say Ben Train won the Oscar and you stole it.” Jen kept her hands behind her back.“What!” Beth said indignantly as her face looked genuinely appalled.

“Nonsense, I am the Oscar. I’ll always be that good!” Beth said as she lifted her chin (that way the directors could take in her profile).

“Nope!” replied Jen as she lifted her chin the same way as Beth. “I saw the article in Vanity Fair. I know you and the director Limberg, cheated Ben,” Jen said happily as she moved ever closer to Beth.

“Go ahead, tell us why you had a secret powwow without Ben before the final scene?” asked Jen.

Beth took in a deep breath and then exhaled loudly. She walked over and picked up a glass of red wine- it was sitting on a red table just in the darkness-and drank it down like pride to a poor man.

“Well, we discussed where we were going after the shoot,” Beth said hollowly as she intentionally perked up. “It was the last day, and typically I like to dine out with the director. And I do this because it’s common, courtesy. See, you’re a fool sharing a fool’s dream, with another fool. Go on, keep blowing it, Sweet Cheeks,” Beth shot back as she cackled like a dying horse; and she felt the room swaying in her direction.

Jim walked out into the darkness; and he saw 5 directors sitting in a cluster watching Beth keenly.

He couldn’t tell who was who, but they looked intense.

“BULL-shit, Gerald Henry said you made up that lie up a week after the Oscars,” Jen continued after a short forced laugh. “And he said you and Limberg planned on only you winning the final scene. Huh, you did it because you felt inferior to Ben. Come on, let’s hear that country club lie next,” Jen said as she did a trio of jumps and laughed.

Beth’s body language implied she was unimpressed by Jen, but she knew Jen was telling the truth.

Beth looked out into the dark; and she pointed to Jen with one hand. Then she made a goofy face and did a circle with her other hand. The directors laughed, and Jim snuck up behind them. He saw they had gold and silver cigarette holders; and they were all wearing expensive clothes and cheap glasses.

“Beth, why’d you do it?” Jack asked flatly. “Ben cared about you, he said he loved being around you,” Jack said as he walked half in the light and half out.

“He actually said he found me intoxicating, and I him,” Beth said her head held high. “Someday, as a collective group you’ll have a smart thought. And you’ll realize Ben just didn’t, have, it. End of story, cut and Print. Darling, where were we?” asked Beth as she kissed Gloria on the mouth.

“Bull, you are a bad liar,” Jen said pityingly, as she walked right up to Beth; and Jen bumped her chest against Beth’s arm. “The only reason Ben didn’t win before that…is because he didn’t like working people over to get things. He said it cheapened him, and ruined his gifts. Let’s face it, you’re a

FRAUD!” Jen spoke in a tone Beth hated. The room laughed at the Gaul of Jen; and the directors checked her features through their small cameras.

“Please, Mall sucking cheap Shampoo, you’re grasping at straws,” Beth drew in a breath, coughed it out, and winked at Jen. “If you had what it took to make it, you’d have made it, already. I was a star at seven, a huge star at eight, but never a dreamer. Try finding a way off my set, we’re not using extras in this one,” Beth said sharply as she mimicked Jen and continued blowing smoke in her eyes.

Jim reached up and snatched a large glass of expensive bourbon from the director’s table. He moved slowly away from them; and then downed the 50,000 dollars a glass bourbon.

“Wow, that was good,” Jim said under his breath. “Hey, Fred, let’s have some fun. Just follow my lead,” Jim whispered as he grabbed Fred by the shoulder; and then led him to the side of the stage where Beth was. Jim and Fred stood there inches from her, and she had no idea.

“Beth, you sucked as a kid, that’s why you never got nominated for anything,” Jack said with unmistakable joy. “They hated you when you were thirty, because you were a HAM HANDED nobody.

I mean, without Ben, you’d be doing underwear commercials, face it,” Jack said as he walked out to center stage; and he offered the palm of his hand to Beth.

She eyed the hand-and didn’t know if she was out of the loop with such a gesture-then slowly moved her elbow. She looked to Gloria for help; and saw she had no idea either.

“Beth, go with this angle, let’s see humble, worthless, beaten!” director Stephen Green said as he eyed the energy coming off of Jack and Jen eagerly.

Beth looked into the blackness; and then lowered her head and forced her best smile. Beth said casually,” Yes, of course I will it’s brilliant. Please, Cad, continue sticking it to me.”

Jack laughed ever so slightly, and threw his hair back (all the while keeping the open palm still facing Beth).

“So, this is an Oscar winner,” Jen said as she tapped Beth on the ass and then the stomach. “I mean, there are lots of people who could ruin as many films as you have, BETH. What about Lasting Through Breathing?” Jen asked as she sat down on the ivory chair facing Beth.

“PLEASE, everyone takes chances,” Beth answered with a wink and a brief laughing breath.

“Goddamn it! I made that film into something GREAT, and it faltered due to mismanagement. Hey, if you knew, how hard it was after you make a film. It’s hard, Stephen, with this angle to use my gifts. I mean they aren’t even guild members, this is torture,” Beth said hollowly as she stood there with nothing but sheer contempt for Jen (and thinking about having her cast out the garbage shoot).

“No, there’s talent there, let me see embarrassed, nervous, broken. You’ve got one good read in you, let me share the words!” Stephen yelled as he watched the smile on Jack’s face with wonderment.

Beth let her shoulders sag, and stomach stick out. She eyed Jen and started to fidget with her hands.

Beth said nervously,” You’re so right, and so talented. I just wish, Ben were here so I could apologize. I loved him, I love him dearly. I stole it from him, I can’t deny that now.”

Jen walked over and put her arm around Beth. Jen said reassuringly,” Beth, you’re somebody now.

You needed this stage to come out the other end. Now you just need to give back your Oscar, and tell the press the truth.”

“Oh fuck THIS!” Beth shrieked. “I won’t play dullard and loser, Stephen. This little bitch has taken it too far. Out of my head with this one,” Beth said hollowly as she tried to look like she was in physical pain. “Look, that was not a confession of anything,” said Beth as she grinned to herself. “I won that Oscar, and Ben became a fucking vegetable, and that’s it. History is only written, once,” snapped Beth

angrily as she stood there eyeing a smiling demure Jen. Then she tossed her cigarette holder over Jen’s shoulder, and clenched her fist.

“Good, keep going with it!” Stephen said excitedly as he stood up and walked to the edge of the stage. “Try really feeling humiliated. Like ah…ya know a bad actor would at a screen test?” Stephen asked coyly as he was trying not to laugh (he knew he’d be telling this story for the rest of his life).

“Finally I can confess, to stealing the OS-car,” Beth spoke like she was high. “I just wish I hadn’t conned Ben, and sent him off without cookies and boners. Look, if I could change places, with that man, I would and will. It’s been, hard in so many ways. Oh the ahh…hard,” Beth said as she stretched out her shirt.

“Good, now drive it home!” Stephen said enthusiastically as he jumped back into his seat.

“You’re worthless, pathetic, pretentious, obnoxious and petty,” Jen said, her hair being tossed from side to side when she turned her head. “You stink of crass and entitlement. Most people hate you. You can’t act for shit, and I hate you. Beth, you’re nobody, but a poor farmer’s tit yanking kid,” Jen said as she walked towards Beth with purpose and intensity; like a bear would to fresh fish.

Beth shook her head and bore holes through Jen’s eyes. Beth eased back onto her left foot, and then said coldly,” I’m all those things you little bitch, and WORSE. I’ve ruined the careers of THOUSANDS, and laughed ha hah ha. I am the egotistical super dominant man, but I was born without a Johnson,” Beth paused to set her chin line then continued, “You’re all you’ll ever be right now, just floating through life.

I see a diner in your future, and jam. Come now, you can’t rattle me. I’ve crushed your every hope and your every thin torn bread dream, with ease.”

Jen grinned and walked right up to Beth. She slapped her-knowing this was the best feeling ever to do just that-hard across the mouth. ”Then why are you challenged by me?”

“Brilliant!” Stephen exclaimed with all of his lung power. “That’s career starting good for you young lady. And soap commercial acting for Beth. Hi I’m Stephen and you’re gonna be a star,” Stephen said-sending Jen into super happy mode-as he appeared from the shadows and walked right up to her.

Jen looked at Stephen, looked again, and Stephen smiled causing her to smile. This while Scott and Jim snuck up on Beth (a tear rolled down Jen’s cheek as it all seemed surreal).

“She’s mid-morning porn, Stephen, please,” Beth barked as she gave Jen the middle finger.

“Torturous, sophomoric, and juvenile yes, but talented? I have a soup order in your future tramp, extra creamy. I-” Beth said snidely as she tugged at her shirt; but before she could continue Jim grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her.

“You’re gonna die BITCH!” Jim screamed, scaring Beth and causing her to instantly sweat on her upper lip.

“I tell you, Stephen, you’re blowing location shoots and craft service on this bunch,” Beth said anxiously as she was unnerved by Jim and Scott’s shenanigans. She slowly moved out of Jim’s grasp (dreading his alpha male hands touching her blouse, which she would now have to burn).

Jim walked past her making sure she saw his cocky smile. Beth wanted him dead and soon for touching her pristine flesh. Gloria eyed Jim and debated bashing his head in.

Over the intercom they heard the ship’s Midshipman Tony Pony say” We’re entering the Ogalo warzone, please be ready to abandon ship. This is only a precaution, but we will need to land on Ogalo to stock up on anti-gravity fuel cells. Find your way to the exits, and be ready to spend a bit of time here.

The people here will fight you, but thankfully not kill you.”

“Great, another punch in the head,” Fred said as he covered his eyes with his hands. “Is it breakfast yet?” Fred asked sadly as he walked over and kicked a piece of furniture. He was pissed they were

stopping; he knew that could mean serious trouble. Jen looked at Stephen and then Jim, took a quick breath and exhaled. And all three of them knew things were happening.

They made their way outside and onto floating motorcycles (with large front propulsion wheels).

The motorcycles were spotted green and dark blue, and were called Jetsets.

“This looks promising, but where do we go first?” Jim asked as he eyed the sky piercing buildings-most of which ending in clouds-and the endless fields of soft red grass snaking through the city of O. It seemed to Jim as if the people there were unaware of each other. He wondered if they were drugged, or just worn down by the speed of their lives.

“There, of course, and then the place,” Jen answered with her eyes blinking wildly. “God, Jim, stop blowing it!” Jen said sarcastically, as she stepped up onto her own Jetset. Jim grinned, waved the middle finger goodbye to Jen, and walked over to a Jetset of his own. Jim climbed up onto a 4 person bike; and Scott and Jack sat down in the lounge (which was over the rear wheel complete with a robot DJ). And Fred and Stephen sat behind Jen; and they all started up a small hill leading into O.

They traveled for an hour-red rain pattered on their faces-and they came to a rotating red and black warthog shaped dance club-called Peter’s Funny Name For You-and stopped. It was alive and screaming with people. The people of Ogalo were blue skinned, and had large arms and thin legs. They had long jutting forward heads-common among people far enough out in space-and serious eyes like a judge. It reminded Jack of a movie he saw once called Snow Clone-a 3 hour docudrama that took liberties with an actual doctor’s demise-but it also scared him.

“This place sucks,” Jim howled like a wasted county fairgoer. “I hate good times and entertainment.

Let’s burn it down!” Jim yelled as he sauntered into the club smirking as he did. They all chuckled nervously at this (Fred wished Jim would shut his big mouth for a change).

“Yes, I also would like a drink,” Jen said as she ran over to Jim and bumped him with her hip.

“No, Jen, try and not have a spec,” Stephen offered as he watched Jen through a square he was making with his right and left thumbs. “I want to see desperate, longing, uncoordinated. You’ve got this, fill the bar with you,” Stephen said as he continued to use his hands in a square shape to check Jen’s features in the frame.

“Or crack head, sock thief, turd for clothes person,” Jim wisecracked while his hands were making a square and following Jen’s eyes. “I mean, the camera eats that stuff up. Hey, you either fake it or they give you 50 bucks for your bus ticket home. Many a smart and talented person has failed on arrival, its called failure. I wouldn’t know, but I ah, yeah anyway,” Jim said sarcastically as he walked over, paused to look at a man’s beer, and then snatched it right out of a small man’s hand as he passed. Jim downed the beer and set the bottle back down. Jim continued,” it tasted terrible, I couldn’t let you drink that filth.”

“Hey, what’s in the back there?” Fred asked as he watched people almost jumping out the back door.

“I don’t know, let’s go find out!” Jack said in an eager for sex voice, as he grabbed a beer from a wooden bin (his debit card paid for it instantly, space rates though). They waded through the crowd and past several people fighting. Then they saw a bizarre sight, the shooting of an actual movie out back.

The dark green cameras were hanging in midair and aimed at the actors. Every few seconds, the cameras would rotate around the actors filming them from every side (in character of course).

“Boy, they’re making a movie, Stephen,” Jen said in a warm, soft voice. She grimaced and eyed the lead actor Tote Lart (son of a wine salesman father and aristocrat mother). Tote had chiseled features and a set of-early Elvis, comeback special-piercing eyes. He was all of 6 feet; and he looked preoccupied with his surroundings. He had on a black leather cloak, and white silken pants. Jim looked at him and thought he was a cult leader or some kind of deviant.

“Is that guy in a cult of what?” Jim wondered aloud (really loud so Tote would hear).

“What, he looks handsome,” Jen insisted, making sure Jim didn’t belittle Tote (and because she thought he was sexy).

“I bet within 5 minutes he’s trying to WARP your religious beliefs. Watch, I guarantee it,” Jim declared as he waded through the last of the crowd. They all made their way over to Tote; and proceeded to introduce themselves to him. And then they sat down and started talking (mostly Tote).

“The existential plane can’t be flown to, you have to live it,” Tote spoke with a seriousness reserved for late night comedy shows (but he was serious). “Trust me, before I met Lorashi I knew no God, nor He I. Find the way to Lorashi or die alone,” Tote said as his eyes glazed over-like a ten year old watching a deer run past. Jim sat there drinking his beer, and not wanting to make eye contact with Jen. He knew if he did, he was going to call Tote on the pretentious load of SHIT he was selling.

“Jim, FINE, he’s A crack-head,” Jen admitted begrudgingly as she looking intentionally down at her drink (she had to or she’d laugh in Tote’s face). “God, I can’t believe you’re right again. Tote, I’m not high enough to talk to you. Maybe some other time, when I find my plane ride to existence, huh,” said Jen with her voice dripping with sarcasm. “And tell Lorashi to SUCK IT, he needs to wear some blue jeans and shower!” Jen said as she stood up. Jim chuckled into his right hand; and then they all got up and left.

“It’s Lorashi that told you to say this,” Tote exclaimed loudly-the honor of Lorashi was at stake he thought-and he continued, “It has been foretold! The armies of no and yes will battle once more in your heart!” Tote said boldly as he stood there lifting his chin-for the camera-and flexing his chest muscles.

Jen ran off with her fingers in her ears, with everyone else running after her. She soon found herself out on a patio-drenched in green and red moonlight-and looking intently up into the hills. There she saw a single mansion built into the rock face. It looked lonely and sad with its grass growing long-like you’d been away for a month-around it. There were also broken down cars littered about outside of it.

“Jen, I hate to say I told you so, but my name is really Raoul,” Jim said as his lips started to grin, but he saw the house in the rock face and stopped.

“Nice home, very interesting statement about his world, and us in it,” Stephen said as he plotted out the best angles for a night shoot in O.

“What do you mean, Stephen?” Fred asked in a less than thrilled voice, as he drank his beer and was sweating buckets.

“This whole place is immaculate except one home,” Stephen said philosophically with his hands nearly trembling with fear and then he continued, “that man, knows he is smarter than them all, but he also knows they can’t tell. Remarkable, I think we should go up there,” Stephen suggested.

“Hey, come on we don’t know that guy,” Jim said as he snatched a large fly out of the air; then slowly put the fly on Stephen’s shirt collar. “What if he kills us or something, I wouldn’t like that much, then what?” Jim asked as he tossed his beer bottle down into a rocky gorge, but it failed to break or make a sound. He found this curious, causing Jim to walk over to the railing and look down. There he saw a mound of dead people buried in a mass grave (they did this to save money, as was their custom).

“What is it, Jim? OH god, that’s disgusting,” Jen said in disbelief as she covered her mouth with her elbow; as she was looking down into the gorge at the mangled faces (some of whom weren’t completely dead yet).

“No, you’ll find that nothing is out of the ordinary for this world,” Stephen said as he made a mental note of the gruesome faces (he had plans to do a war epic and needed the realism). “They only care about the living, the dead can fend for themselves,” Stephen said philosophically as he took off his coat; and then he offered Jen his right hand.

Jen looked at his hand-and thoughts of acting stardom filled her mind-and she grabbed the hand; and then they started up the long paved driveway that snaked through a grove of trees. The closer they got,

the louder the sound of music became. Jim looked at the trees carefully (he was not willing to trust anything about this situation. Not today).

“Lame,” Jim said flatly.

“What’s lame?” Jen asked.

“This,” Jim answered with his eyes checking the trees for any signs of people hunters. “I don’t need to be dying today. Fred, what if we use you to barter with, hear me out? What IF, they want a human sacrifice, ya know? We could give them you, and then we wouldn’t die, it’s so simple, Fred. Why are you so greedy about living, Fred, you gotta die sometime?” Jim asked sarcastically (he could see Fred was only acting annoyed and enjoyed the attention).

“Jim, I like you right up until you start talking.”

“Thank you, Fred, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” Jim said as he put his arm around Fred. “Stop you’re making me horny. I want you to raise my children, why I run off with YOUR

wife. You’ve earned it, you have,” Jim said sarcastically as he patted Fred’s back; like you’d touch a small horse. And Fred nodded, coughed loudly, and then made his cough sound like a dying piglet.

“Jimmy, you’re odd in a way, but it suits you,” Fred said after a long, snot filled spit. “Hey, what say we run? Come on, Jen, this is taking too long,” Fred urged then he looked back quickly, saw no one following them, and he ran up the driveway. Then with all of his energy he had left, he sprinted up the hill leading to the mansion.

“I like him: raw, clumsy, untapped embarrassment, that has value,” Stephen said as he started to jog with Jen and Scott. Jack sprinted after Fred and howled as he did.

“Fred?!” asked Jen as she ran around the driveway.

“WHAT?!” yelled Fred back.

“Stop running in place, you’re already here!” Jen said as he watched Fred running in circles and laughing.

Then they saw the lights come on in the courtyard. It sounded as if the music was still playing, but quieter now, quite a bit quieter. Jen eyed the upstairs window; and she saw the figure of a woman there, but for only a second. The woman disappeared (Jen worried she was in some form of distress).

“They kick the living, to remind the dead they’re busy,” Stephen said philosophically, his face lighting up like a cigarette in the morning.

“Who?” Jen asked.

“The worst of us, Jen, let’s go see an original,” Stephen said as he pulled out a long red wallet, and slowly opened it. There were pictures of his Oscar speeches inside (and a get out of jail free phone number, the governor’s cell). And there was one of him in a woman’s dress with the caption YOU

MADE ME AN HONEST WOMAN, LOVER.

Then they heard the sound of drums suddenly beating, but only three times and stopping. Jen looked up and saw a man standing in the upstairs window now. A second later, he had disappeared; like a flash of lighting outside of your window.

“Ya know, Jack, the funny thing about being available is the schedule. I mean, I have to do it all the time, is this Russia?” Scott asked sarcastically as he acted like his back was hurting him. Then he, Fred, and Jack walked up to the-dark brown flask shaped-front door.

The door had handprints on it; and an indentation of a fist on the left. The sign above the doorbell read I’M NOT HOME. And the windows were blackened out (and you couldn’t see a second’s worth of life through them).

“So, who’s gonna get us all killed, and ring the damn doorbell?”Fred asked halfheartedly. “O.k. fine I’ll do it,” Fred shrugged and leaned forward; pressing in the hand shaped doorbell with his head. They heard a dozen piano notes, and then nothing, but the wind sleeping.

“Way to go, Fred, you blew it,” Jim snorted sarcastically. He gently pulled Fred back from the doorbell and smiled.

“I know, I know, I lack hygiene and tight fitting jeans, I know!” Fred said as he made an awkward face; like a long jumper landing on pavement.

“Fred, those jeans are tight,” Jen said as she rested her head on Fred’s shoulder (she could tell Fred was in a great mood).

They heard a loud bang, and the ceiling above them appeared to be falling. It terrified them all-instant feelings of their murders-and they leapt back onto the driveway. Then they heard a restrained chuckle; and the door slid upwards into the ceiling and locked.

“It’s really nothing,” Sam Fish continued his eyes smiling at everyone, “just some fun in the wee hours. Maybe you’d like to get up off that dirty driveway, and come inside?” Sam asked as he appeared out of the shadows. He was handsome-more like a male model than anything-and had hair like a lion’s mane. He looked right at you, but it felt like he was looking past. He had on a white silk suit, and blue frame, yellow tinted sunglasses. His shirt said simply, SAM.

They all rose up off the driveway; and Stephen tried to size Sam up for himself.

“Oh, yes we would like that, more than the dirt,” Jen tried to get up in a cool way, but she lost her balance. Sam stepped out of the house and offered her his hand. Jen eyed the large diamond bracelet he had on his wrist (that’d buy a lot of pasta and wine, she thought).

“O.k., I guess I’ll take it you’re not from around here,” Sam secretly watched Jim off the reflection of the gold handrail (is this her boyfriend?) “Where I come from, women never deny a man his courtesy or grace. Please,” Sam said as he took a step closer to Jen. Jen eyed the hand at first cautiously; and then grabbed it like a jeweler would a diamond. Sam casually pulled her to her feet.

“Thank you. I’m Jen, almost all the time.”

“Sam, almost never,” Sam answered his eyes still watching Jim. “Please, come inside it’s getting cold,” Sam begged as he smiled and caught Jim’s suspicious eyes on him. Sam looked at Jim; and they both felt an uneasy pause.

They went inside and found themselves in a dark purple hallway; it weaved through the front portion of the giant home. Then they heard someone yell,” HELP!!!”

“Hey what the hell was that?” Jim asked as he eyed Sam with eyes you saved for thieves and murderers.

Sam put up his hands, acted nervous, and he opened the door. They saw a red teddy bear sitting on the couch; heaving back and forth and yelling “Help, they’re killing me!” Everyone laughed, and Sam giggled, and he bent over at the waist (he knew it was working, but how well, Sam wondered).

“So, you’re torturing sweet Teddy,” Jack said, his two feet feeling light and nimble just then. “I don’t know, I don’t, I don’t know. Kinda strange, like…wax undies,” Jack joked as he used a nasal sounding voice. Sam patted Jack on the back, and said nothing.

They continued down the hall; and Stephen studied Sam knowing he was truly-and possibly tragically-gifted. He could also tell he was bored by simple conversation, and needed the absurd.

“Please, Sam, tell me something,” Stephen begged.

“What, Stephen?”

This startled Stephen as he hadn’t told Sam his name. He asked suspiciously,” How’d you know my name, I didn’t offer it?”

“I own everything for miles,” Sam said while pressing in red buttons hidden in the wallpaper (alerting his staff they would be needed for cleanup). “I heard you down at the bar. You’re all quite interesting, Jim, I did include you in that statement,” Sam breezed down the hallway. And Sam made sure to kick out his left leg-every so often-to keep anyone from walking beside him.

Jim looked around-knowing Sam wanted to hurt him with that joke-and didn’t respond to Sam’s joke. He had a feeling this guy was going to try something, and cross the line. Jim looked around for exits just in case, but he saw none, except for the way they had just come in.

“I could go for a bit of music, Sam, do you play?” Jack asked intently. His eyes were on a painting on the wall of Sam (that had 50 men all staring at the camera behind him). It sent a jolt through Jack, and he decided to keep his eyes on Sam.

“Music?” asked Sam in disbelief. “Yes, I remember music,” Sam spoke using a less than genuine tone. He walked into a holographic wall and up a group of stairs. Jen poked her head through the wall first; and then she followed him up.

“I remember chives, CHIVE ON!” Scott said as he clapped his hands together; and then ran up the stairs as fast as he could.

“Chives, that was his brainstorm,” Jim said as he felt the walls for secret passageways. “Yeah, I remember bologna and soup, SOUP ON,” Jim said jokingly as he headed up the stairs (continuing to check the walls for secret passageways as he did). Then he nearly fell through a section of wall; and he saw a pathway leading down into the garage. Jim took care to mark the spot on the steps by pulling out a corner of the wallpaper, and folding it over.

Sam got to the top of the stairs and then fell forward yelling,” Help! I’m falling!!”

Jen and Scott were startled by this; and they ran up to see what had happened. There they saw Sam lying on a-floor filling for fun’s sake—red mattress; and he was blowing bubbles through a pig’s head.

“Thank you for saving me that was a rough stretch,” said Sam as he hit his own chest like he was having a sudden cardiac event. “I owe, maybe chives, maybe more, uh ha hah ha,” Sam said, and he rolled over and disappeared into the center of the mattress. Scott jumped onto the mattress-as he was determined to see where he had gone-and looked for a hole.

“Where’d he go?” Fred asked, and then he jumped onto the mattress back first (fearing possible rashes if his skin touched it).

“I’m not sure, there’s some sort of door here,” Scott called up the stairs. “There, see it goes down into a different room,” Scott opened the hatch, took a quick breath, and looked and saw Sam shooting pool (in a room even too damp for hustlers).

The room had chandeliers that were past their prime, and crooked. There was the sound of a detuned radio-much like you’d hear underwater at Disneyworld-filling the space with ancient jazz. The front of the room faced out over the fields; and down to the nearby artist community. The room had a pair of MR.

SMELL’S GOODTIME GRAPE soda machines and a TV set up in the front.

“Whoa, how’d you find me?” Sam asked, bursting out with an unearthly cackle as he did. He strode over to Scott and put his arm around him and asked,” You shave nuts? I need someone who can keep me sanitary. Hey, only kidding my friend, do you?”

Scott smiled and nodded yes. Jim came into the room; and he looked at the door next to the front window. He knew then if worst comes to worst, he could get them to safety that way.

“Nice place, you need to remind me how to get out though,” Jim spoke as if he was trying to see if some kid stole his bicycle. “Hey, a soda machine, do I mind if I have one?” Jim asked as he looked

around the room-his eyes really looking for potential weapons-and checked out the different soda flavors.

They had names like Certain Demise and Hole Filler, and Jim grinned morosely at this.

Sam shot the 9 ball hard into the corner pocket. Then he poked the front door of the soda machine with his silver pool cue, it opened, and revealed a beer fridge behind the sodas.

“I can’t have you drinking soda and disrespecting this table,” Sam looked directly at Jen. “Grab one for each of you, and let’s ask some questions,” Sam said coyly as he fired the 2 ball in the side. He knew they had no idea who they were talking to, but he aimed to tell them.

Jim handed out the beers, and then stood on the opposite side of the table, watching Sam.

“I got mine!” Stephen exclaimed. “Excuse me if I sound like a gold digger ordering lunch. No I mean, what questions?” asked Stephen. Then he sat down on a chair made to look like a 7 foot tall orange alien sipping beer. The taste was smooth, but the alcohol was too powerful, he thought. He felt drunk like he’d just had his first beer ever. Stephen examined the bottle, and then blinked hard 3 times to clear his vision.

Sam handed Jim a red cue-with live fish living in the shaft-and stepped back. The pool cue had lights shining through the glass; that would light up the fish like a shrimp boat at night. And it made Jim’s eyes sparkle with wonderment.

“Jim, what would you say if I am God here?” Sam asked flatly.

“You mean like a cult?”

“No, so rich and so powerful I decide who lives or dies in O.”

Jim looked around for a shot on the table. And then he snapped a perfect bank shot through 3 balls into the side.

“There’s nobody that powerful,” Jim answered, then swallowed hard and looked at the different balls on the table (even though he wasn’t looking for a shot, he was just buying time). “At least not anyone I’ve ever heard of. If that’s true, how do you decide who dies, for one? And what gives you that right?”

Jim asked as he looked around and mopped the sweat off the back of his neck with the palm of his hand.

Jim knew he didn’t want Sam knowing he was a bit scared by what he had just said.

Jen peeked at Sam, and saw his entire countenance change, and his eyes grow larger. She wondered if he was being genuine now, or when they first met him. She walked over to the front window and looked out. There she saw 3 men beating a white skinned man to death.

“Hey, there’s someone being beaten up out here!” Jen cried. “Quick, do something!” Jen pleaded as she dropped her beer to the carpet. She watched in horror, as the man was hit repeatedly in the head and back with metal pipes.

“You’re kidding?” Jim asked incredulously as he shot over to Jen. “How’s that possible? Whoa, I guess it is they’re really pounding that guy. Sam, you don’t really seem to ah, care,” Jim said implying a question. He looked back at a smiling Sam (something wasn’t right about him). Jim knew now that no one needed to hear a tree fall to know it would still kill anything it fell on.

“Ya see, I am not who you would think me be,” Sam spoke with an arrogance that put everyone under his thumb. “I am the son of a powerful tyrant, from another world. He came here 200 years ago and quickly took it over. Those men, they are killing an attempted rapist,” Sam said hollowly as the man was his brother Engeld (who had stolen the last piece of pie from the pantry). “So if you think me heartless, you need think once more. The things power can bring, all of them heavy, Jim. I know of this whole group…YOU are the one who can understand me. You, Jim, you don’t cry wet tears,” Sam said as he sipped his beer. And he calmly watched as the now dead Engeld was carted off towards THE

GORGE.

“Yeah, yes I can, unfortunately,” Jim replied with a heavy heart. “My old man was ah…pugilist. He beat up half the city where we lived. Just for being his son no one dared touch me. That sort of thing, it’s only fun half the time. And the other half it’s lonely, because everyone’s scared of you, ya know,” Jim spoke with a fragility that made Jen love him even more. He drank his beer, and remembered his father beating a horse thief to death with a long metal pole. He wished he hadn’t confessed to what he just had, because it might scare Jen off.

“Yeaahhh!” shouted Sam as he air fucked the space around him. “And those people die funny and smell worse. Jim, if you only knew, if only,” Sam said as he grinned and chuckled at Jim.

“Knew what?” asked Jen, her voice as soft as a sliver of grass.

“Jen, that’s exactly the question and the answer,” Sam said as he stood still, head rocking back and forth gently, while Jen looked at him curiously. “I want to show you my collection of dead bodies. Just follow me down these steps,” Sam said as he smiled; and then he opened a staircase hidden beneath the pool table. They all froze in their tracks. And debated running for it right then.

“Aahh…ya know we really gotta get back,” Jim looked at the different pool balls and grimaced.

“Maybe next trip, huh?” asked Jim hollowly as he rubbed his forearm and yawned. Jim knew there was no way he was going to see a pile of dead bodies (or become one for that matter).

“Yeah, our shippy will be leaving soon, sorry, Sam,” Jen said apologetically as she lowered her head and gently shook it no. She had no plans of ending up roadkill either, or part of someone’s corpse collection.

“Aahh, so sweet of you, but I was KID-ding,” Sam said hollowly as he debated killing them all right then. “The only pile I have of dead people is UP-stairs. Maybe we could take a quick peek? Won’t do you any harm, and there’s snacks,” Sam said. He laughed in such a way it unnerved everyone.

“No, I wish we could, but we gotta go, Sam,” Jim said as he kept his eyes on Sam’s hands. Jim knew something was about to go down. Just like he always knew before he got hit as a kid. “I’ve seen piles of bodies before, so trust me I know how cool they are. Look, what’s the quickest way back to the driveway? I mean, we’re gonna miss our ship, then what I ask, what then?” Jim asked as he fought back his wanting to scream at Sam. He knew certain death lay upstairs, and he wanted no part of it.

Sam kept laughing, and then casually showed everyone he had a high powered gun hidden in the body of the pool table.

“Hey, whoa, we didn’t mean to piss you off,” Fred spoke as weak as he had since getting beaten up in 2nd grade. He watched Sam glaring at him, hardly moving, and aiming that fucking gun at his head.

Jim looked around, quickly scanned the room, and saw no other weapons anywhere. His heart started to race (home was only a wish for him now). Then Jim slowly walked over to the window; and saw there was a short set of steps leading down-with freedom in sight-to the driveway just outside.

“Oh, I know you wouldn’t dare mess with me,” Sam said as he waved his hand like he was in a parade. “Then again, you know all my secrets now, I mean…god, I can’t let you live,” Sam said dourly, he paused, and then swung the barrel of the gun around, and aimed it at everyone.

Jim walked over to where Jack was (and they both knew what they must do).

“Hey Man, who’s that guy behind you?” Jim asked coyly as he sipped his longneck. Then when Sam turned, Jim threw his beer bottle at Sam’s head. It smashed across the bride of his nose; and ripped open his head like a slice of apple pie. Jim and Jack grabbed Sam and throttled him to the floor. Fred and Scott looked out the front window; and they saw a single solitary guard standing under a tree. Then Stephen looked around for weapons.

“LET GO!! LET GO OF ME!!” Sam screamed crazily as he fought hard-he wasn’t accustomed to being attacked-to shed himself of Jim and Jack.

“Nope!” replied Jack as he punched Sam in the eye; and Jim wrestled the gun away from him.

“Hold him down, Fred, help him!” Jim ordered sharply as he inspected the gun. “O.k. look, we all know if we let him live, we are dead. I say, if you want to leave here alive…we smoke Sam and run for it,” Jim explained breathlessly, his neck sweaty and itchy now. They all looked around-and their thoughts were like fireflies in the night (all over the place).

“Jim, I’ve seen how these things end in the movie business, alright,” Stephen spoke in a sullen bouncing voice like a drug addict. “You let him go, you’re absolutely right, he’ll kill us all. Just, I hate to say it, but shoot him,” Stephen said morosely as he rubbed his temple in a circle with the tips of his index fingers (and stretched out his jaw like a lion).

Jim studied the gun-feeling the ass kicking power of it was easy-and then he studied Sam.

“You shoot me you’re all, DEAD!!!” snorted Sam. “DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!!” cried Sam angrily, his hands trying to fight Jim and Jack off but failing.

“I don’t know, I guess if we stuffed your dead carcass in the pool table,” Jim thought out loud as he surveyed the pool table and then continued. ”No one would know for weeks, we only need hours. Fred, Jack, prop his chest up, and make sure your hands aren’t on his back. This gun might shoot right through him,” Jim demanded forcefully as he wiped the sweat from his brow with his shirt (showing off his chiseled abs).

“Don’t do it, I’ll pay you,” Sam pleaded his eye bloodshot and sending droplets of sweat down onto the carpet. “I’ve got gold hidden in these walls, enough to buy anything you’d want. Jim, I’m sorry I scared you, I was just kidding. Now, hand me the gun and we’ll go downstairs and have a drink,” Sam said tearfully as he looked at Jim-and wondered if he’d bought it-while his hands stopped fighting them.

“Jim, he’s lying,” Jen snorted as she smirked, her legs ready to kick Sam if necessary, and she watched Sam squirm.

“It’s all BS, Jim,” Scott said sharply. “He’s gonna kill us the second you give him that gun,” Scott kept checking on the guard out front.

“I don’t know, he’s such a good guy and all,” Jim said sarcastically with no one laughing at first; until it dawned on them he was joking.

Stephen accidentally laughed himself into a secret hallway in the wall. He looked inside, and saw a dozen corpses lying around bloody and fresh.

“What is it, Stephen?” Jen inquired as she rubbed Stephen’s back. “Are you alright?” Jen asked with the tone of her voice sounding small and nervous.

“This guy’s a mass murderer,” Stephen started to hyperventilate; and his words were half air, and half syllables. “There are dead people in here. He must be killing every tourist that comes near this place and then some. Ace him out, Jim!” Stephen said coldly his eyes unable to focus and his heart rate beyond safe levels. Jack shut the secret doorway-he had no desire to see the bodies-and coughed into his shirt.

“Those aren’t mine, honest,” Sam spoke his voice raised now and filled with obvious manipulation.

“I would never, I mean come on. Jim, I know you hate these people, smoke ‘em, smoke them now. Lay ruin to their heads!” Sam said coyly as he tried-hoping they believed his lies and he had the element of surprise-to break free of Fred’s arm hold, and then he was going to grab a loaded shotgun under the corner pocket.

They all laughed and Jim aimed at him and said,” Show me a king, and I’ll show you a million backs broken and bloody. Here, catch!” Jim said coldly as he fired into the chest of Sam once, it snapping his body hard back into the table. Sam was bleeding like roadkill on the morning commute; and then he slumped over and died.

“We gotta get THE FUCK, outta here,” Jack sounded impatient and rattled, but recognized the situation perfectly (he’d seen too many action movies not to). “Look around for weapons, and stuff him

back in the table,” Jack ordered his left hand grabbing Sam by the legs; and Fred-covered in blood-lifted the torso.

“I think, we stirred up a hornet’s nest,” Scott muttered. “That guard is not there anymore, damn it,”

Scott said nervously as he went to hit the window. And when he hit, it opened a doorway to the outside.

What luck he thought.

“Hey, Scott, we have a way out now,” Jen said seeing the door open. “Jim, we have to hurry,” Jen said quickly as she poked her head outside, took in a breath of fresh air, and scanned the courtyard for guards.

“I’m on it, just a second,” Jim answered, right as he found 4 more guns under the table. He started handing them out to everyone.

“Jack, if you got the means to, we need you to take a good long walk in the tall grass,” Stephen said as he took in a deep breath, coughed, and rolled up his sleeves.

“Why?”

“Just in case they’re shadowing us in the grass,” Stephen explained as he stood beside Jack pointing to the thick wispy grass lining the driveway (and the entire property for that matter). “If you’re out there watching the grass, they can’t get the jump on us. I know it’s risky, but this whole damn thing is.”

“I’ll do it,” Jack said quickly without thinking-he just didn’t want anything to happen to his Jen.

“Man, is this supposed to be my vacation from college? What is this crap?” Jack asked angrily, his eyes on that softly swaying grass.

They were all too wound up to laugh, but they knew they’d laugh about this all one day.

“O.k., it’s a quick walk, and then sprint like hell when you see the ship,” Jim said as he watched the sky fill with a small meteorite shower. “Nice, I needed that. Hooah, I need to live, and that’s it. Jen, stay

by my side, and don’t be hesitant to fire. Trust me, they’ll kill you sure as shit, so don’t give them the chance,” Jim said as he took in a few: long, deep, unnatural breaths.

Scott looked outside, and saw no signs of the guards. Then they heard someone downstairs, just below them, and froze.

“Don’t say anything,” Jen whispered nervously as she put her finger to her mouth. They could hear footsteps-like rubber soled shoes fresh out of the rain-and someone mumbling in an odd dialect.

“It’s now!” Scott cried as he saw they had their chance to run for it.

Jim grabbed his gun, and they walked quietly towards the front window. Fred stepped on an old brown shoe-one of Sam’s victims-and lost his balance. The hard step was loud enough to be heard downstairs. They heard gunshots coming from below them; up through the thick floor, and they ran for it.

They ran like a Zebra from a hungry lion.

“Keep moving!” Stephen barked excitedly as he finished off the last of the stairs.

“You’re damn right!” Jim howled as he checked his gun for bullets, and let out an unearthly crinkled paper sounding laugh.

“Jim, focus,” Jen said playfully as they sprinted down the last few steps. Scott was so scared, he nearly wiped out on the last 6 steps, before catching himself.

Then they heard windows breaking, and more gunshots. They ran full out down the driveway; with Jack out in the grass running full out as well. Jack saw a guard hiding behind a tree up ahead; and he spun around to flank him. He aimed, hands sweaty and shaking, and when he did the guard looked over.

Jack shot him twice, hitting the guard in the head and killing him.

“RUN!” Fred shouted nervously as he heard the gunshots (louder than a B. B. gun for sure).

They ran a bit more, and could see the bar’s back deck just a few more heavy steps away.

“Go around the side, don’t go in!” Stephen yelled as he felt the night air in his lungs-and more coin than a banker filling his sails. They watched as Jack came barreling out of the grass, with Jim almost shooting him as he did.

“Jim, easy man, it’s just me!” Jack reassured, putting his hands up.

“I don’t know you could be a clone.”

“Clones are people too, Jim, you better learn that already,” Jack said jokingly as they ran up the walkway (that stretched around the side of the bar).

Jen ran into a middle aged black haired woman (who’s hair was thicker than concrete). She fell to the ground, brushed off her knees, and quickly sprung up. Jen said quickly,” Move it!”

They could see the thrusters on the Fresha starting to heat up-they knew it was readying to leave them behind (if they didn’t move it fast).

“Just a bit more!” said Stephen hopefully. “Follow through!” Stephen cried as he smiled; and he ran like he hadn’t since he was a young track star. He remembered running in the cornfields of Oklahoma; and finding a box of letters there once. He wondered even now who had written those letters.

Then they heard Tony Pony say over the loud speakers,” We’ll be leaving momentarily due to crew deaths here in O. Everyone board, and stay boarded!”

“Let’s hustle!” Jim spoke as if he was trying to convince himself, as he ran up the walkway and onto the ship. He ran inside and made his way to a window. He looked out and saw several guards coming down from Sam’s mansion. Jim felt his heart beating so fast he thought he might die from it.

Jen looked out the same window; and she saw the guards nearing the bar with Deathmakers drawn.

“If we die here, I am SO suing,” Jen said angrily.

“Jen, I doubt you’d collect on that one,” Jim responded a second slower than usual. “Fred, Scott, Jack, Stephen, alright we’re all here. Whoa, I can’t handle all this excitement. Look, the ship’s lifting off, and our new friends are checking the bar for us. Man, who’d believe me if I told them this story? Ya know, it’s so bizarre,” Jim said as he wiped the cold sweat out from under his eyes-he got that whenever he exercised in the cold-and took in a slow breath. He knew he was safe now, thankfully, and felt calm.

Chapter 4

Holker Stadium at Dawn

They traveled the rest of the night, as the ship’s captain Icabod Soft was worried about being chased by Sam’s guards. They started to go through a red and green floating cloud of gas. The cloud made your vision of the planets, stars, and moons distorted. It looked as if they were driving through a dream with no end. They looked out the window; and saw a pair of comets speeding past.

“God I hate space!” Beth cried dourly, her hands fixing the thick blue curtains. “Is there anything else to look at?” Beth asked angrily, as she drank some wine with her legs propped up and spread eagle.

She glared out at the odd visions she was seeing, and wished for a face to punch. Beth and Gloria were in their private suite enjoying some of the finer things, Doritos and Clam dip. The room was all red in color-golden ceilings as she had requested-with black pillows on the car shaped bed.

“It won’t last forever, my love,” Gloria said after setting down her crystal goblet. “You just have to think about glory, triumph…and success. These are the things you’ve earned in your career, you deserve them,” Gloria said reassuringly as she took off her top; laying down beside Beth on the floor quietly.

Beth glared at Gloria, and raised her hand like she was going to slap her. And when Gloria smiled, she slapped her hard across the mouth and said angrily,” Go reassure some cornfield PONY! I’m not that weak! Now, sorry about delivering your comeuppance, but you’ve been getting indignant. I won’t stand for it, not now not ever. God, can we fly a different direction already?” Beth spoke with a never before seen irritability in her voice (that scared Gloria and she was used to Beth). She kicked the outside window with both feet hard 4 times, nearly breaking it. Then she saw what appeared to be bright lights in the distance. She stood up, adjusted her shoulder pads, and eyed the lights intently.

“What is it?” Gloria wondered as she lay there nearly naked now.

Beth looked at the oncoming lights and felt her happiness level rise. They broke through a large section of cloud; and saw a Spacestop-which was another name for a convenient space station- some 30

minutes ahead of them. It was large like a ballpark on steroids; and shaped like a giant pair of lions.

There were pathways leading out from the main body of the Spacestop. And these pathways were no more than 30 feet wide; and they led off in several hundred directions. It looked as if the people walking on them were walking on air, with lights guiding their way.

“Oh, thank you director, that was a good take,” Beth muttered her eyes never leaving the Spacestop.

“Gloria, we’ve got to mobilize! We’re going captain hunting, and we’re going to divert this ship for some s and s. Sex and shopping, what else! Get up, we need to be swift and nimble,” Beth demanded as she started to fuss with her hair. She hurried across the room and put on some thick red lipstick; and a white sheer dress with the word FAME sewn around the hip in diamonds. Gloria put on her purple cat suit; and they headed up the outside hallway.

“This could be risky, Beth,” Gloria said as she fidgeted with her suit around her crotchless panties.

“Would you shut up already?” Beth insisted. “God, I can maneuver us through all obstacles. I just need some faith and a decent script.”

Beth spied the ship’s captain Icabod, walking across the hallway smiling to everyone and waving his hand; and then he ducked into his state room. Beth felt her face get sweaty, and her eyes light up. She knew this hayseed of a captain would fall under her spell like so many others had.

“Hello there, Captain, I wanted to tell you something if I may,” Beth breezed into his state room.

She made sure her ass was facing him, as she pretended to care about his photos on the wall (mostly of his cat Drillbit).

“Hi there, aren’t you Beth, that famous actress or something?”

Beth turned and smiled with her tongue sticking just out over lower lip. She said in a sultry voice,”

Yes, I’m that good.”

Gloria grinned, making her way over to the couch (next to Icabod’s favorite red velvet chair). She fussed with her breasts and smiled at Icabod.

“What can I do, do you for, do I mean, help you with?”

“Cap ‘in, I so love space, but I need a break from the beauty of it all,” Beth used her demure voice-one that sounded roughly 14 years old (as her acting coach Hal Pencil had taught her). “I mean, if only there were a space station where we could stop, ah, it hurts,” Beth said coyly as she rubbed nonexistent sweat from her brow.

“Ya know I’m really not allowed to make pit stops.”

Beth groaned and arched her back into a very sexual pose.

“I don’t know, Captain, she’s in dire need of a break from all this,” Gloria said her pouty lip not lost on Icabod. “Could you maybe, just stop for an hour? That’s not too bad is it?” Gloria spoke with an innocence she had learned from shaking down her rich parents when she was young; and she put her hands on her inner thighs and titled her head back (causing her breasts to seem much larger).

Icabod was very aroused by both of them; and had impure thoughts on his mind.

“Yes, would it really hurt that bad?” Beth asked her finger running ever so close to her pussy. “I mean, I just feel awful all of the sudden. I don’t,” Beth stopped speaking and Icabod jutted forward. She pulled up on her dress, showing some leg.

“You know you’re right, we should stop,” Icabod agreed with a bright smile (the exact kind new employees at the gap are taught to master). “I just hadn’t realized how sick everyone was. O.k. then, if I see a Spacestop we’ll pull in. How’s that, happy now, Beth?”

Beth laughed into her hand and said firmly,” I believe we saw one just a short while ago didn’t we, Gloria?”

“Yes we did, you’ll need to slow the ship immediately.”

“Consider it done,” Icabod replied quickly, he sprung out of his seat and hurried into the control room. There were 50 crew members monitoring every aspect of the ship in a star design shaped room.

The glowing control panels-using a dull light that reduced glare-had several staff members wearing royal blue helmets that locked onto your head (this way they were able to interface directly with the ship).

There was a sign reading IF WE LAND SAFELY, I APOLOGIZE perched atop a stuffed crow in the corner.

Beth and Gloria followed him in to close the deal.

“I love a simpleton, they bring me endless joy and happiness,” Beth said honestly as she rubbed her back. “My, what a fine day we’ve found, Gloria,” Beth remarked as she stood there watching Icabod adjust the gauges; and slow the ship to a standstill in seconds.

“There we go, I see the station, and I’m turning around,” Icabod bellowed, his eyes focused to the point of really bad acting, Beth thought. “Every hand on deck be ready for docking!” said Icabod firmly.

“We can climb this mountain before it climbs us,” Icabod said boldly, as he hoped to impress Beth and Gloria. The ship stopped, turned, and headed into the Spacestop at a slow rate of speed. They came to rest and the airlock closed around the ship. Icabod said happily,” There, I took care of BUS’NESS!

Ladies, would you escort me to the Spacestop?”

“No, God no we’re not in the mood for company. Some other time, trust me, we’ll have our fun,”

Beth said hollowly with her face smirking at Icabod; then she walked briskly out of the room. She strode down the hallway, smiling contently, and humming the closing credits to Shadow Thief.

Meanwhile Jim and everyone were wondering why they had stopped all of the sudden. Then they heard Icabod say over the intercom,” Just a stop to grab some supplies. Feel free to explore this Spacestop, but do not trust anyone. I repeat don’t trust anyone, that person is invariably a thief or murderer. The Captain out,” Icabod said boldly.

“Huh, fine by me, let’s party,” Jim said as he acted like he was doing arm curls. “If they give you lemons, learn how to sell them as grapes. Sorry, my old man used to say that, I’m not sure what the hell it means,” Jim said as he popped the veins out of his arms by flexing his biceps.

“I only buy lemons if I get to PELT, the person that sold them to me in the EYE,” Jen said as she threw soft punches at Jim’s stomach. “Jim, you haven’t broached pelting, I’m disappointed. Fred, you’d let me pelt you wouldn’t ya?” Jen asked as she grinned and pushed on Fred’s back with the top of her head.

Fred laughed, embarrassed but loving the attention. ”Jen, I would, but only in fantasyland. See, those lemons leave marks, can’t have, won’t,” Fred said sarcastically as he moaned like Jen was hurting him.

Jim walked out onto the grass covered walkway leading into the Spacestop, and breathed a sigh of relief. He moved the heels of his feet over the grass barefoot, left, right, and then left again and giggled like he was 9 years old.

“This is real grass,” Jim exclaimed as he smiled like a lottery winner. Who would have thunk it to do this, ya know?” Jim asked as he was giddy now and giggling; and he carried his shoes in his hands and walked barefoot into the Spacestop.

“Aliens, weirdos, Jim-kin,” Jen spoke in a southern accent and added. “I’ve seen ‘em, I don’t like

‘em either. I once had a whole grape stole by some Jim-kin, not good, hurt, hurt real bad.” Jen took her shoes off and ran past Jim.

“Hey, come back here!” Stephen insisted as he and Jack watched an unsavory crowd of people crowing up ahead. There was a small stadium behind them called the Holker at Spacestop. And in the Holker many things happened (none of them good).

“God, Stephen, they have small town shields on,” Jack said as he jogged with Stephen. “They really think people are goodhearted, it’s amazing to me. I can’t remember the last time I went somewhere like this, and didn’t watch myself,” Jack said contemplatively as he fussed with his shirt.

Stephen watched Jen run and jump into a small fish shaped fountain of purple water, quizzically. He would have given anything to be that free again (even once more). He started to well up with tears, before he caught himself.

“It can be very dangerous, people in large cities don’t care how liked you were back home,” Stephen coughed and wiped his eyes. “If they want you dead, then dead you be,” said Scott as he looked and saw a wild boar shaped blue building to his right. The building had nefarious characters lingering out front-long beards and visible blood on their hands and clothes-and it was making him nervous.

They each walked into the nearest bar. And when they did, Jim saw someone he hoped he never would again, his ex-girlfriend Danielle. Jim said angrily,” Fuck!”

“What’s wrong?” Jen asked.

“My ex is here, I have a favor to ask you, Jen.”

“Anything, but no human football stuff,” Jen smiled and continued, “been screwed by that be-fore.”

“I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend, can you do that?” Jim asked his voice shaky at best; and he watched Danielle-Gulp being her last name-laughing with 3 men in leather Mad Hatter style hats.

“O.k., but do I get to spend half of your money and treat you like dirt?”

“Of course, that was assumed,” Jim wisecracked his face trying not to laugh for fear of attracting Danielle. “Look, let’s not go near her, but if she comes over, lay it on thick. Oh damn IT! She just looked right at me. Now she’s waving, shit,” Jim muttered as he forced a one handed nervous wave (that he thought about turning around and giving the middle finger as soon as he raised his hand). And he smiled a more awkward smile than hitting on your aunt’s friend He knew she would try something, and he just didn’t have the energy to deal with her negativity today (or any day anymore).

“Don’t worry, Jim, embarrassment only lasts forever,” Jen wisecracked. “Trust me, I can blow this for you,” Jen said sarcastically as she wrapped her arms around Jim’s waist and smiled up at him.

Danielle made her way through the people; with a bright smile on her beautiful face. She was all of 5 foot 8 inches tall-short for her family her mother was 6 foot 5 inches of mean-and her body was very thin. She had on a little black dress and one stocking was torn. Her purse was filled with an assortment of medicines she didn’t need, but wanted. Her hair was wavy and brown like chocolate.

“JIM NUTS, how are you?!” Danielle yelled as she cackled-sounding more like a wino than a woman her age-and she nearly vomited on a woman standing nearby when she did. Jim grinned, and tried to forget how many times she had cheated on him, and stole his money.

Jim rubbed Jen’s back, and Jen tried not to laugh, but it was too funny. Fred watched everything from behind Jim (just in case he needed him). Jack and Scott grabbed-black and turquoise colored and egg shaped-seats at the bar. Then they turned to watch Jim squirm.

“Jim Nuts, is going down in flames,” Scott said his eyes undressing a blonde woman in the corner.

“You don’t have to tell me that, Scott. He’s cooked,” Jack replied.

“Hey, ahh…” Jim said hollowly like he’d forgotten her name.

“Jim NUTS, stop acting like a burnout,” Danielle said as she put her arms out for Jim to hug her and he didn’t move. “God, I’m just not in the mood for jokes and pokes. Jim Nuts, did you miss me? Come on, you can tell?” Danielle asked as she pouted her lips and kept halfheartedly pulling her bra strap up.

“Yeah, oh now I remember, we dated once,” Jim said hollowly as he gave her a few hard nods and no real eye contact. “Huh, well you sure are…standing there. Hey, this is my girlfriend, Jen, she’s rich,”

Jim said as he smiled (he loved watching Danielle squirm). He folded his arms and started moving his neck like a chicken.

“OH, it’s that chicken neck thing again,” Danielle snapped as she kicked the side of a barstool.

“Fine, be a total whatever person. Jim Nuts, your girlfriend here is not what I had hoped for you. I mean, you deserve better,” Danielle spoke in a way that made you wonder if she actually thought her ploys would work. She grimaced, and pulled her red bra strap up slowly.

“You skank!” barked Jen. “Nice to meet you!” said Jen loudly as she made a fish like expression-her eyes showing her discontent-and offered Danielle her hand. When Danielle went to shake it, she jerked it away from her (a technique she had mastered in junior high, then called Slicking someone.

“You gotta be quick if you want that handshake!” Jim waited for the perfect moment to look Danielle in the eye, and it came, crushing her.

Danielle looked at Jim like he was an asshole-common among her ex-boyfriends-and Jim laughed hard like a jackass. Danielle snarled, her eyes filling with rage,” Jim Nuts, dump small fry half potato here, and let’s party.”

“Hold on, that’s large fry, and you’re just as smart as your dress,” Jen corrected while she grabbed Jim’s backside. “Is that a JC Penny’s summer half off sale? Are those men’s underwear you have on?

Really?” asked Jen as she tried not to laugh (failing a second later). Jen walked in between Jim and Danielle; and tapped her pointer finger to her own temple.

“Jim Nuts, this little tramp here is bad times,” objected Danielle as Jim shook his head HELL NO.

“You remember what I said about bad times?”

“Something about oiling up your neck or something, I don’t know,” Jim said dismissively as he waved his hand for Danielle to go. Jim was invigorated by how easily he was handling her. “Half the stuff you say is gibberish anyway. Did you go all the way through 5th or 4th grade?” Jim asked sarcastically as he reached around Jen’s waist-a gesture not lost on Danielle-and put his hands on her hips.

Danielle saw this and she started to think Jim wasn’t the same old boyfriend she had met at the redemption center. Danielle sipped her beer and smirked as she looked down at her feet. She begged,”

Look, don’t let our love die, NUTS. We can rekindle, find the OLD magic. Let us have our time in sun, warm sun, Nuts. Dump sassy face here, now!” Danielle spoke as if they were still dating. And she clenched her fist and got ready to pop Jen a good one.

Jim and Jen laughed in a demonstrative way. And then they just walked away. Jim turned and said slyly,” Ya know, I got no problem with you finding love. But it is, in that dumpster like you’d think.

Keep your elbows clean. Just saying, you can do it!”

“This can’t be happening!” roared Danielle as she bit her lower lip and looked around for someone on her side (there was no one there she knew). “Oh, is that it, Nuts? You’ll wish for my sweet ass someday. And you won’t get it!” Danielle shrieked as she swung at Jim and Jen but missed.

“I knew somehow you’d pull that off, Nuts, I mean, Jim,” Fred said as he sipped his beer. “I had faith,” Fred said as he walked beside Jim and Scott, and Jack hustled over to join in on the fun.

Meanwhile Stephen was scouting some location shoots out on the space walkway. He stood there-inches from death-taking in a spectacle unlike any he’d ever seen. People were jogging past him; while others were lying down inches from the protective plasma tunnel.

“My, when time stops it really is lonely,” Stephen muttered softly as he walked along; and he marveled at the enormity of it all (unwilling to let one second of it fade from his memory). He knew he had to come back here and film someday, but who would finance his film he wondered.

“Move!” barked Margy Bits forcefully, as he rode up behind Stephen on his black horse shaped bicycle. Stephen spun around, and realized he didn’t have enough time to move out of the way. Instead, he shielded his face and ducked. Margy-a 347 pound powerlifter and beer taster-ran right into Stephen.

The force of the crash broke Stephen’s nose sideways; and sent Margy into the plasma wall (hard enough to sober him up right fucking quick).

“Oh no, my nose is broken!” Stephen shouted his hair titled back and soggy with blood. “I can’t show up to work like this, in this state. You should watch where the hell you’re going, ASSHOLE!”

Stephen cried angrily as he glared at Margy-his mind telling him he could take him if it came to that-and he tried to stop his nose from bleeding with his blue silk shirt.

Margy was a bit dazed, but he had heard the word ASSHOLE clearly and asked indignantly,”

What’d you say to me? Did you just rise up, get tough ON ME?! Come over here!” Margy shouted-his deep raspy voice making Stephen’s confidence fade faster than the pet rock-as he picked himself up and stretched out his back. Stephen debated fighting him, as he knew he had the anger to win.

“You’re damn right I did,” Stephen answered without hesitation. “Let’s dance, Chubs,” Stephen said coldly as he remembered the fight training he’d gotten ON SET. Margy smiled a smile that killed vegetables. He put up his fists; and he walked towards Stephen.

“Chubs eh?” asked Margy, as spoke in a voice that suggested he wasn’t mad, but mad he was. “Not the right answer, my friend. Just go ahead, really pop me one,” Margy begged coyly as he smirked like a little kid; and then offered up his chin to Stephen. Stephen looked at that chin, his chest heaving, and he knew he could break it with just one punch. He hauled back-his mind filling with school bullies from yesteryear and bike thieves-and threw a right hand hook. The punch was ducked by Margy, and he

grabbed Stephen by the balls and neck and tossed him into the plasma wall. Stephen’s body nearly broke through the plasma; this sending the fear of weightless death quickly through his mind.

“Help!” cried Stephen as he tried to pick himself up. “Somebody HELP! I’m not a bad person, I recycle,” Stephen blurted out, his hands clawing his way back out of the thick plasma. Stephen rolled over, looked around, and went out onto the walkway facing Margy.

Passerby’s walked away from the fight; and said and did nothing to help.

“I’ll help ya,” Margy offered hollowly as he forced up a tear. “Do you need a lift back to your ship?

Serious man, I’m not here to hurt anyone.”

“How do I know you’re telling the truth?” Stephen asked reluctantly as he eyed Margy’s big powerful forearms.

Margy put his hands down to his sides; and he gave Stephen a look that told him he was telling the truth.

“Come now, you’re hurt bad,” Margy said coyly as he offered Stephen his hand (his own mind already debating how to kill Stephen best). Margy decided he wanted to break Stephen’s neck, but he worried Stephen might catch him with a lucky punch.

“O.k., you gotta trust somebody sometime, right?” Stephen replied painfully. “Here, help me up please,” begged Stephen sadly as he clutched his bloody nose; then he reached for Margy’s hand.

“That be the truth,” Margy said smiling. “Here’s a special shore-cut,” Margy said as he grabbed Stephen’s hand; and then he started to spin, as he lifted him clean off the ground.

“What are you DOING?!!” Stephen demanded nervously, as he could feel his arm nearly ripping out of its socket.

“Just helping an old friend, Chubs,” Margy said snidely as he flung Stephen into the plasma wall. “I showed you real trust today, Sucka Boy.”

Stephen’s legs were exposed out in space-a place where nothing ever could be exposed-and they were crushed flat to powder. His head, and torso, were still on the right side of the plasma. Lucky break, he thought. Margy ran full out and lowered his shoulder; knocking the rest of Stephen through the plasma and out into space. He died instantaneously with Margy getting his hand hurt in the process (broken index finger from righting himself clumsily after).

Meanwhile Jim and the group were walking towards Margy from the opposite end of the walkway.

Jack had a bottle of wine in one hand, a time worn coat he had borrowed from the bar that he was wearing, as well as a rack of barbecue ribs in his other. Jack asked,” Isn’t space black?”

“Yeah, it really is except for those 60 gazillion stars,” Jim joked as he tried to let Jack off easy.

“And, I hear it gives you quite a suntan. I mean, looking out for ya, you know it. Jack, those ribs really smell bad, I’ll eat ‘em if you don’t want ‘em,” Jim said coyly his eyes looking at the ribs out of the corner of his eye (he was dying for some ribs just then).

Jack took another bite off his rack of ribs, made a disgusting purring sound, and shrugged his shoulders.

“Yeah, Jack, why should you have to eat such filth?” Jen panted like a dog and barked a few times.

“I don’t like it, and I like ribs, Jack. I guess, if Jim’s not getting them, I could take them,” Jen said as she flashed a bright smile-the free drinks smile-and clasped her hands together.

Jack laughed slightly at this, and then said happily,” Yeah, I guess you can share my tasty ribs. Just break off a section, but leave me the extra sauce,” Jack said as he handed Jen the ribs; and she broke off most of them with one yank.

“What?” Jim asked in pained disbelief. “What is this? I thought we were sharing the ribs? I mean, you left me a single rib. Boy, women steal a rib at birth and keep right on stealing them. You can’t have my kidneys though, mine all mine, Sister,” Jim said playfully as he grabbed the final rib from Jack’s sauce covered hands.

Jack grabbed a dirt sucking tissue from a dispenser; and rubbed his hands with it. Instantly they were clean of the sauce; and he kept moving down the walkway with the satisfaction of a saint.

“OH, these are good,” Jen declared her lips covered in sauce. “I bet these are the best, ribs, EVER!

I’ve had tasty ribs, these are way tastier. Jim, or is it, Jim NUTS? I have to thank Jack for these ribs and not you. Jack, you’re the rib king, rib king Jack,” Jen said as she ate her ribs; and Fred suddenly felt hungry. Fred was walking near the left hand side of the walkway; and he was looking off into the far reaches of space.

“Jim, not Jim Nuts, I can get frisky, I’ve frisked before,” Jim said as he slowly ate his ribs (he wanted the satisfaction of being the last one eating any). “You don’t want my frisk, you can’t handle my frisk. Fred, why are you staring at that woman and man having sex? Isn’t there anything interesting to look at?” Jim asked sarcastically as he gently hit Fred in the shoulder with his fist. There in front of them, there was a handsome man and beautiful green skinned woman having sex (without a care or stitch of clothing on their bodies). Jim looked at them and felt bad; he hadn’t seen his girlfriend Kim since the Spaceport. He knew then he should have convinced her to go with him or move on (he worried she’d be waiting for him and he knew he wasn’t going back).

Then they saw Margy grab a skinny man in a red and black business suit; and throw him hard into the plasma wall.

“Hey, did you just see that?” Scott asked wearily as he saw Margy pushing what was left of the business man, through the wall.

“I did, and we might want to turn and run,” Jen replied anxiously as she eyed Margy. She could see he was coming towards them with mean in his eyes for breakfast, and lunch.

Jack frantically looked around for a spot to hide; and he saw a tower on the left side some 50 feet ahead of them (looked like a pair of Butterfingers glued together). He knew they could hide inside there, but they had to hustle. Jack cried,” The TOWER!” and added,” Let’s get to running, my friends!” Jack pulled on Jen and Jim’s arms; with Fred and Scott seeing the tower and sprinting.

Margy watched them running towards him; and he took an offensive position: fists up, eyes focused, and legs ready to kick their heads in. He loved killing people; and he wasn’t scared of anything.

“Look, if he charges, just sprint even harder,” Jim explained quickly as he ran. “There’s no way mayonnaise for breakfast can beat us there!” Jim yelled as if he was yelling to someone across a crowded room. Jen heard this and ran like she had Johnny Law on her tail.

“He’s right, lay the hammer down!” Fred said coughing furiously, as he ran like he hadn’t since his first bike was stolen in 2rd grade (by a Jeremy Bobbuddy up the street). He remembered chasing that Bobbuddy, and almost catching him.

“Where you off too now?” uttered Margy, his hands clutching and re-clutching. “Hmm, something’s not right here. There’s no way they could be that brave. The TOWER! Oh no RUTRO,” Margy spoke in a voice so simple it made you uncomfortable; as he realized what they were doing. He started charging towards the group-running like he was about to fall down with every step-and preparing his adrenaline surge.

Jim and Jen were the first to see this; and they both felt the identical terror pumping through their veins. Jen eyed Margy, and she knew he was not going to let them live. She also surmised they would have to kill him before long (to survive).

“Hey, everyone break for the stairs, I got a plan,” Jim cried. Then Jim ran up to the front of the tower; and he stopped abruptly at the bottom of the black marble steps.

“What plan?” Jen asked as she looked back for help, but there was none (an amateur boxing match was entertaining all the tourists inside the Spacestop).

“Jen, I can get this guy,” Jim’s voice sounded like he was trying to convince himself he could. “Just head upstairs, I’ll be fine,” Jim insisted as he reached back and brought out a single shot gun-it used an armor piercing bullet-from his back pocket. He showed it to Jen; and she shook her head.

“NO, hey everyone helps or no one does,” Jen said sternly as she looked around for weapons. “Fred, Jack, Scott, we’re fighting,” Jen demanded as she looked at each of them, and then Margy. She wondered if she was making the wrong decision by not saving herself, but she couldn’t leave Jim to die.

Fred, Jack, and Scott all stopped in their tracks, and came back down the stairs.

“O.k., then let’s start fighting,” gaped Fred at Margy, his eyes started to fog up and his hands were sweaty (as he didn’t want to get beaten up). Fred looked at Margy and he felt sheer terror overtake him.

“Let’s have some fun,” Jim said boldly as he raised his fists; and then he lifted his leg to get ready to kick Margy with a most unfriendly blow. Jen smiled at this; and raised her fists and got ready mentally.

“Hey, are you people lost?!” Margy yelled over to them like they were friends; and he acted like he was going to slow down just before he got to them, but he sprinted right at Jim at the last second. Jim kicked him hard in the knee; and gave him an uppercut to the chin. Margy fell on top of Jim and Jen; and Jack started punching him in the back of the head. Margy was dazed, feeling sick, and grasping his leg as if it was broken.

“Jim, he’s crushing me!” Jen cried her arms already tired from the weight.

Jim heard this and he did the only thing he could. He kneed Margy hard in the stomach, again and again and again. It doubled Margy over in pain; and they were able to push him off of Jen and Jim (Margy’s body making a loud, rude, thud when it hit the ground). Fred leapt on top of Margy; and punched him hard in the face, but Margy grabbed Fred around the wrist, and tossed him hard to the ground.

“Where am I?” asked Margy as he rubbed his hands hard together. “Is it din da din yet?” Margy asked drunkenly as he blinked his eyes to right his vision.

Jen ran over and kicked Margy hard in the throat; while Jim held down his right arm and Jack his left.

“Boy we’re playing with real glue now,” Jim yelled punching as he did and watching Margy gasp for air. Jim’s voice resonated throughout the walkway. Fred got up, and ran over and punched Margy hard in the back of the head. Jack saw this, and put Margy in a choke hold, but Margy lost it and shot forward at Cheetah speed. This shed them like autumn leaves from a jacket.

“NO, no, no I won’t die-” Margy said angrily before he passed out and did a faceplant on the walkway.

“Yeah, he sure is a dead body friend now,” Jim said happily. “I think if there’s a,” said Jim as he looked around and saw no one close enough to have seen what happened and then he continued ,” chance we could get caught. We have to hide this guy before someone comes. Just, help me carry him into the tower. By the time they find him, we’ll be long gone.”

“Nice, yeah mom your son’s a murderer,” Fred spoke like he had bored people many times before with his dry humor. “Just thought you should know that year of junior college, PAID OFF,” Fred said sarcastically. “What, am I going to rot in jail? Yes, of course I am, miss you,” Fred said as he grabbed

Margy’s arm; and they slowly lifted him off the ground. They dragged him over to the tower steps-everyone shocked at how heavy he was-and saw the task before them.

They all looked up the steps; and they knew there was no way they were lifting Margy up those stairs.

“Great, first plan a bust,” Jim grunted, his mind getting filled more and more with feelings of anger.

“We could, no wait, what if we shove him under the stairs? Because that way it’d buy us a little time to run for it,” said Jim hopefully as he was getting very annoyed by the whole situation.

Jen felt a smile creep across her face and asked,” Are we really doing this? Isn’t this like for criminals or something?”

“Yeah, Jim, what if we just tell them what happened?” Scott asked as he kicked Margy in the side.

“I mean he tried to kill us, right?” Scott asked as he looked around for anyone who might be coming their way. He saw an elderly couple coming from the same direction they had just come from and he added,”

Oh great. Here comes certain prison time, look.”

Everyone looked and saw the couple; and their collective hearts sank.

“We have a little time,” Jack reassured his eyes on the elderly couple. “Let’s just put him under the steps and run, alright,” Jack insisted as he looked at everyone. They all grabbed a part of Margy, and quickly dragged him under the steps. Then they saw the old couple kissing-and rubbing old body parts-and they ran in the opposite direction.

“If this works, you can thank Jack,” Jim spoke with a voice that had the weight of the world lifted from it. “Man, how close are we to going to hard labor prison? I mean, they could, and will find our fingerprints on that idiot,” Jim explained as he ran along pacing himself to get to the intersection up ahead. He knew there they could take a pod back to the main Spacestop, and blend in.

Then they heard a woman scream-the worst thing you could ever hear-and they looked back. It was the old woman being punched by Margy. He had somehow survived the beating, and was in an all-out rage mode.

“This isn’t happening,” said Jen as she tried to convince herself; while she watched Margy beating up the old couple. She saw he had murder in his eyes.

“It is and we’re running,” Jim replied as he pulled on Fred and Jack’s shirts. Jen and Scott were already running away and looking for a place to hide, if need be.

“Hold on, hold on!” Margy yelled hollowly with his hands up. “I just want to thank you,” Margy bellowed as he started to discard the elderly couple’s bodies. He smiled and then nodded softly to himself, because he knew he was going to get some sweeter than honey revenge.

Up ahead, they could see a trio of young Latino men from Kansas riding towards them on anti-gravity motorcycles. Jim debated taking the bikes from them, but he had a better idea.

“Hey, what are you all running from?” Jeff Brack asked anxiously as he rode up to Jen and Scott.

Jeff was all of 5 foot 6 inches tall and 154 pounds of-wrestling team-muscle. He had chiseled looks, but he also had a scar running from the center of his forehead down through his right eye socket. He had on a silver cardigan sweater reading GAP MEN, and blue leather pants.

Jen ran up to Jeff and started to say something when Jim interjected,” We’re out getting a decent workout. Yeah, there’s a one man play back there. Man, it was AWESOME! You guys should check it out. I’d even watch your bikes if you want,” Jim said coyly implying a question as he tried to catch his breath. He put his arm around Jen; and looked Jeff in the eye with total sincerity.

Jeff and his friends Martin and Marty, sat there on their bikes eyeing Margy, and saw him running towards them.

“Hey, why is he running down here?” asked Martin defiantly. “Looks scary,” Martin said as he rocked back and forth on his bike and glared at Margy. Martin knew people would take advantage of them-seeing as they had tried a few times on the trip already-if they thought they could pull it off.

Jim looked back and laughed. ”Oh THAT, it’s part of the act,” Jim said hollowly as he smiled convincingly. “See, he’s gonna try and act all tough. And when you stick up to him, he wilts like an old flower. I mean, it’s so fun you can’t believe it. It’s up to you though, you can forget it and miss out,” Jim paused and looked at Margy and then Martin and continued, “Or, you can go over there on foot and have the time of your lives. I know what we chose,” Jim said hollowly as he smiled and kissed Jen on the cheek.

Jeff saw that Martin had started to turn around and head back, and he stopped him with his hand.

“What are you touching me for?” Martin asked defiantly his upper lip snarled and his eyes stern.

“I’m not missing out on this,” Jeff growled as he waved his middle finger in Martin’s face slowly.

“Look, watch our bikes and we won’t be but a few minutes. Come on, Martin, we’re having fun on this vacation,” ordered Jeff sternly as he yanked on Martin’s shirt; and then he pulled him off the side of his bike.

“We’ll be right here when you’re ready,” Jim said warmly as he hopped up on Jeff’s bike. “My name’s Jim by the way, in case you were wondering,” said Jim coyly as he took the keys from Jeff and he slapped high fives with him. Jeff stiffed Jim with his name, but he, Martin, and Marty started to jog towards Margy yelling obscenities at him (and that was all the thanks Jim needed).

“Did that just happen?” Fred asked in disbelief as he looked wide eyed at Martin screaming at Margy.

Jim cackled like a bar room drunk and said happily,” It did, and we’re alive. That’s more than I can say for those fuckers. Hop on, we gotta get out of this area quick,” said Jim as he revved the motor.

Jen watched Marty as she looked back at them. And she felt terrible and said sadly,” Jim, you didn’t have to lay it on so thick. Those men are dead for sure.”

“No, you’re mistaken,” Jim explained his hands checking the controls. ”If I hadn’t done that we’d be dead,” Jim said plainly as he swerved to the left. “There’s no way we could have outrun that killing machine. And, we don’t even know where we’re going. He would have had the jump on us the whole time,” Jim said sternly as he felt Jen wrap her arms around his waist. Jim glanced back at Jeff getting punched in the face by Margy, and knew he was right to do it (regardless if he actually was).

They drove towards the intersection and turned to have a straight shot back to the main Spacestop.

Jack was watching Margy take out the 3 young men; and he could tell they didn’t have as much time as they thought they would.

“Jim?” asked Jack.

“Yeah?” replied Jim.

“What’s to stop him from going back the way we came, and beating us there?” Jack asked his voice soft and nervous. “I mean its way shorter, and these bikes are slow.” Jack tried to keep up with Jim and Fred’s bikes, but his bike was low on fuel and starting to sputter.

Jim felt a chill go down his back as he said this. He looked at the walkway Margy had to use, and the distance he had to travel, and he knew then they might not make it without killing Margy first.

“Yeah, he’s heading back that way now, look,” Fred said as he watched Margy throw the last of the 3 men’s bodies through the plasma. Then he saw Margy turn and run back the way they had originally come from.

Jim saw this, and he knew it was too dangerous to be late to the Spacestop. He looked around for a better plan, but he saw none and said begrudgingly,” It’s speed for now, and we’ll fight if we have to.

Jack, Scott, are you guys gonna be able to keep up?”

Jack checked his fuel gauge and saw it below empty and running on fumes. ” NOPE, we’re outta fuel as of now,” Jack said as he let go of the-now worthless-steering wheel.

Jim heard this and he instinctively spun around. This as Fred did the same, and pulled up beside Jack and Scott. Fred motioned-like John Wayne in Rooster Cogburn-with his hand for them to move it.

”Climb up, quick!” barked Fred.

“I’ll try, but my foot is caught,” Jack said as he tried to free his foot. “Come on, let go of my shoe,”

Jack begged as he fought to release his brown leather boot. He felt sheer terror as his eyes turned into pool balls watching the leather tear slowly.

“Ditch the shoe, we’re going!” Jim cried as he ran over and ripped Jack’s boot off-and Jack along with it-to the side of Jim’s bike. Jack looked at Jim stunned; and put his hand on Jim’s shoulder.

“Hurry, he’s running full speed now,” Jen said, her hands grabbing the steering wheel clumsily; and Jim and Jack hopped on back.

Then they lifted and raced away; the bikes were going slower due to the increased weight. Margy was looking over at them and smiling menacingly, as he knew he had them now. Margy was already thinking about the money he’d get for their clothes in the pawn shop.

“Come on, make it interesting,” Margy said as he burped and kicked over a red man shaped ashtray.

He was really going to enjoy this-like he always did killing tourists-and it would mean beer money for days.

Jim looked back, his face was pale, and he saw there were people gathering around the dead bodies.

It made his heart nearly skip a beat (he still worried they’d get the blame for the murders, damn it he thought).

“Can we please catch a break, just one?” Jim asked angrily as he tried to think his way out of this situation. Jack felt in the leather pocket on his right side of the bike that there was something jutting out.

He tried to unzip it, but it was stuck on something.

“Come on now, open,” Jack begged. “There, what have we got here?” Jack mumbled as he pulled out a sawed off shotgun and 30 shells in the magazine stock. He showed it to Jim and Jim’s eyes lit up and a sigh of relief followed.

“Whoa,” Jim muttered.

“That’s right, Jim, we got this guy now,” Jack said his hands checking the trigger and stock. “Hey, Jen, go a bit slower, I have a better idea,” Jack said as he trained the gun on Margy. Jack debated shooting him right then and there (what was one more murder at this point).

Jen slowed her bike and now they were all crawling along like patient snails.

“Where’d you get the heat?” Jen asked as she looked at Jack taking aiming at Margy.

“Had it my back pocket,” Jack replied his hand steady. “Stop both bikes, I need to be steady,” Jack said as he tried to sight in on Margy. He felt the bike come to a stop. Jack aimed right at the torso of Margy, some 46 meters away. Margy continued running and then glanced over at the 2 bikes; and he was perplexed and befuddled by what he saw.

“What you doin’ stoppin’?” asked Margy as if his voice had a dying mouse in his voice box. “Why stop there, not a very smart mova? Margy stop too, and wait you out,” Margy said as he slowed to a

walk. And then Margy walked up to the plasma, and waved to everyone. Jack shot him in the shoulder a second later, jerking him to the ground like a large hand from behind.

“Now that is why I went hunting with the old man, times like these,” Jack said triumphantly as he kissed the barrel of the gun. “Wow, well he’s hit, but I only got his arm. Let’s move forward another 50

feet or so and I’ll try again,” Jack said as he eyed Margy and grinned like he’d won the prized pie at the fair. Jack knew he was taking this bully out in no uncertain terms.

Jim fumbled with the saddle pocket on the left hand side. He found a wad of drugs and money, and said nervously,” Oh great, this is bad news.”

Jen looked back and saw a brick of a substance called Klarin, and she squinted at it.

“What that is, Jim?” asked Fred as he watched Jim sweating like junior high basketball practice.

“You know we have already won our first 50 years in prison. Look, we need to chuck that through the plasma. If we don’t, and they catch us with it, they’ll either kill us, o.k.” Fred continued as he had a large lump in his throat,” Or they’ll lock us up forever. Forget about that idiot over there, let’s take care of this first,” Fred insisted to the point of almost shouting (hoping to hell they would catch a break). He hopped off his bike, looked back, and quickly started checking his own saddles. He reached into one, and pulled out a high powered pistol, and another brick of Klarin. Damn it, he thought.

Jen looked around, first looking at the opposite walkways, and she saw there was no one coming.

Jen said calmly,” Just chuck it.”

“What do you mean?” Jim asked bewildered with this request-more so that he hadn’t thought of it himself-as he looked at the prison bringing Klarin in his hands, then sighed like a flat tire.

“Just put it in the dumpster,” Jen spoke as if it was too simple to fail. “And then when they find it.

We’ll be long gone. There’s no way they’ll ever believe us, so there’s no point turning it in. Just chuck it, Nuts,” Jen said as she checked the other saddles. Jen found a pair of black sunglasses, and a red bottle

of creamy onion soup. She smelled the soup-it was fresh and ready to eat-and worried she might get poisoned by it if she consumed it.

“Ya know, she’s dead on right,” Scott said. “Let me see it, just hand it here?” Scott asked as he walked over to Jim; and then grabbed the brick of Klarin. He looked back-just a second for balance-and saw no one-thankfully. Then he walked over to the black robot shaped trashcan, smashed it into the bottom of it. Fred did the same with his and chuckled (he wished they could have tried it for fun’s sake).

“Whatever works, get me off this Spacestop,” Jim said as he watched Margy. “Jack, you’re still sighting on that guy right?” Jim asked as he put his hands on top of his head, breathed out twice hard, and closed his eyes like he was diving in chlorine filled water. Jim knew this was going from bad to worse, and he was mostly to blame. He wanted to just get on the ship, and leave.

“Yeah, but he’s sitting up now, odd,” Jack replied slowly and without nervousness. “I wonder if we should shoot him, or just run for it? Because right now it’s only assault, not murder,” Jack said as he lowered his gun; and then grabbed the steering wheel with both hands. Jen slid in between him and Jim; and they started heading for the station.

“Margy in pain, Margy hurt,” Margy cried as he felt his bloody shoulder. “Owwee, my arm hurt, and my head hurt from arm hurt. Can’t just shoot the brother of a lawman,” Margy said as he wiped his face with his blood soaked hand. “Margy rat you out, and you know pain,” Margy spoke in a voice most 5th grade bullies used when they were at home. Mom my room’s clean, where’s my PIE! He stood up and held his bleeding shoulder.

“Hey, he’s moving again,” Jen muttered.

“Yeah, but we can outrun him,” Jack said as he rubbed his left pant leg (his skin was drying out due to the Spacestop’s lack of good air conditioning). “Someone keep an eye out for our landing stall. We

need to go straight there and hide. I would, but I gotta watch this. Won’t die like I want to guy is annoying me, just saying,” Jack said jokingly as he watched Margy stumble towards the station.

They rode the last 10 meters to the station; and drove onto a crowded artery named Last Again Way (named after a notorious poker player named Last Way; who was killed and buried in the pavement after cheating the house). Jack eyed the people there-somehow thinking they knew what he had done. He felt his whole body sweating and his back ached like moving day. The bevy of people there were mostly drunk; and they were looking for a goodtime. It was an unsavory crowd, as it was filled with drug mules and sellers. Fred looked around, and he prayed the fuel didn’t run out in this part of town. He looked at one woman injecting something into her arm, and cringed.

Jim noticed this and asked sarcastically,” You wanna stop, Fred? Maybe we should grab a bite?”

“NO WAY, are we stopping!” Fred cried as he stomped his foot hard. “I won’t set foot on this Spacestop again. Jack, Jen, stop laughing, you’re annoying Jim,” Fred said as he tried to avert his eyes from every person they passed. Then he saw a pair of Space Cops wading through the crowd, and heading their way.

The Space Cops were physically large-at 7 feet tall at the shortest-and bulbous like pineapples. They had light yellow and blue spotted skin-common the further out in space you got-and horse heads. They had on dark red uniforms and were carrying: large, red, glowing guns called Peppers.

“Oh great, the fuzz,” Jim muttered nervously sparing Jen a thought of dread; as he looked at the cops and prayed they would let them pass. Jim felt his whole body sweating; and it was like it was 100

degrees out and muggy. He felt pissed at how hot it was; and he was in desperate need of a drink (but he didn’t dare stop now. No way).

“HI, officers, nice day huh?” asked Jen brightly as she smiled-using her one year of being a cheerleader experience to sell it-and waved to the cops. The two cops froze in their tracks; and looked back at her with dead eyes. Jen forced herself to continue smiling, as she knew their lives depended on it.

Then they heard someone scream from over their shoulders. Everyone’s head jerked back to take a look. A red haired, thin and gangly frog looking woman was covered in blood. She had just been stabbed; and she was wilting slowly to the ground. Jim eyed the woman in horror, he knew it would bring more cops and that was bad for business.

“We’re so dead,” Fred spoke in a loud voice before he even knew he was speaking.

“Fred, relax, we’ve got our diversion,” Jim whispered as he looked around like he was there to buy a shirt or hat.

The cops looked sternly at Jim; and then they brushed past him on their way to the red haired woman.

“Out of the way,” Loopa Reed growled-he the larger of the 2 cops-as he pushed an old man hard into the wall breaking his nose, and scowled venomously at him.

“Whoa, did you see that?” Jim asked not wanting an answer. “Man these fuckin cops are bad news,”

Jim muttered as he watched the cops moving people out of the way like they were matchsticks.

Fred tapped Jim on the shoulder; and Jim looked right at him blankly, and Fred said,” Who cares, let’s get going.”

“He’s right, oh so right. Jim, he’s right,” Jen agreed as she licked Jim’s ear and felt his crotch. Jim grimaced halfheartedly and wiped the saliva off of his ear.

“Fine, we’ll just get murdered some other time,” Jim snorted, his hands slowly steering through the watery crowd (they were packed so tightly it looked like waves to Jim). “GREAT, my death will be slow

and painful. I LOVE IT,” Jim said sarcastically as he gently punched his seat; and then started driving faster through the crowd.

Meanwhile Beth and Gloria had ditched Icabod. And they were shopping for fun enhancers-as they called them-that were drugs of course.

“Hey bottleneck, you got any weed?” Beth asked bluntly. “Huh, you speaka da English?” asked Beth sternly as she shook a shop owner by the ear. His name was Louid, and he was much smaller than her; and he gave her very little fight at all. Then Gloria looked out and saw Margy go barreling past the shop. He threw people out of the way, kicked the old, and punched anyone and everyone.

“Beth?” Gloria asked.

“You hidin’ da drugs?” asked Beth sharply as she shook Louid.

“Beth, I have to get going,” Gloria said her hands looking in her purse for a nonexistent napkin.

Beth looked at Gloria, her eyes unforgiving as grim death, and continued shaking Loiud’s ear back and forth. Then Beth said,” What are you talking about, I need weed. I won’t go sober on that ship, anymore, Gloria. Now help me get what I want, or I’ll punch you right in the eye,” Beth demanded angrily as she glared at Gloria. Beth pulled Louid’s head hard down onto the white marble countertop (that had carved names from all the centuries it had been there like Gopool and Musk Fadle).

Gloria peeked outside, and saw Margy bashing people out of his way and yelling. Gloria halfway hoped he would smack Beth a good hard one (to knock some sense into her).

“Alright, alright I got da weed,” confessed Louid as he wiped the blood from his cheek. “Just, let me, UP,” Louid begged nervously as he flailed his arms; and he got his head banged on the countertop again and again. Beth chuckled and nearly fell over laughing at his weakness and lack of talent.

“There, now you’re speaking my language huh?” Beth spoke as if he was an unwanted pet in her garden. “Bet you thought you were smart, eh? Nope you little worm, women are smart, men take out the garbage,” said Beth snidely. “Now get me all the drugs you have, and HURRY!” Beth growled as she glared at Louid, then a sly smile crept across her face. She knew she could kick his ass any day of the week, and he knew it too.

Louid ran back into his storage room. Moments later, he reappeared with a black wooden keepsake box and put it on the counter that read DON’T EAT MY POISON. He ran over and pulled down the shades, and locked the front door. Beth smirked at this, as she knew then her star power was too much for the likes of this worm.

“Here, I have everything you want and, I have Klarin,” Louid spoke as if his voice was being stretched out on every word. “See, the powder here, it makes you happy. Do you like being happy?”

Louid asked as he pulled out a long silver spoon. Louid took some Klarin, sniffed it, and offered it to Beth.

“Well then, life’s a party, if you are one,” Beth said as she examined the Klarin. “I’ll try your wares you insolent fool. Give it here,” Beth said as she reached over and grabbed Louid’s thin wrist. Then she inhaled some of the Klarin, and let out an ear piercing scream and shouted,” That be some the stuff momma made special! Gloria, stop ruining the party and have some, NOW,” Beth said sharply.

Gloria looked around anxiously, and then sighed, as she tentatively walked over to Beth. She watched Louid prepare the spoonful with eyes for prospecting. Gloria knew drugs were bad, and they could take over your life with ease. She blinked her eyes hard, and then inhaled the powder with one large snort.

“Wow, I’m floating,” Gloria said as she tiptoed around the room. Beth chuckled and clapped for Gloria. Beth knew she was a bit of a prude, but she also knew that meant SHE’D NEVER STRAY.

“Would you like some to take with you?” Louid asked more nervous now (he hoped they’d actually pay him for his wares).

“Yeah, I’ll give you 50 gold coins, and we’ll take whatever we want,” Beth ordered, her hands scooping up the drugs bags and joints inside. “Here, count them if you’re a total jerk, or take my word for it. Gloria, stop acting like an idiot, and carry this box back to the ship,” Beth barked as she stood there watching Gloria kiss the cheap t-shirts and hats (in her hallucination they were good looking women).

Beth then left the store; with Gloria carrying the medicine and they headed for the ship. Up ahead of them a mile or so, Jen and the group were lost in a maze of same looking streets and back alleys. They had gotten lost in the underbelly, and saw no way out.

“How are we doing on gas?” Jen asked nervously as she saw a man lying dead in the alley (with hungry cats walking all over him). The streets were narrow, and the bricks dark purple in color. There was steam shooting out of most windows-as it was where they did most of the hard labor. There were people fighting every so often, but not so much that you’d notice.

“I don’t know…it looks like we took a wrong turn in hell,” Jim said as he watched a women cough up blood into a sleeping man’s lap. “I think we should go back, like right now. If we don’t, we’re gonna die in this hell hole. Fred, are you with me?” Jim asked, as he really hated making mistakes like this (it reminded him of the time he traded a meatball sub for a fake Babe Ruth baseball card).

Fred watched a man get tossed into a concrete slab, breaking his back, and he cringed and asked vacantly,” What, Jim, what did you say?”

“Leave, should we is what I said,” Jim replied as he swatted away a small swarm of flies. “Come on, Fred Nuts, we need you to stop being so Fred-like,” Jim said jokingly, as he rode out around an abandoned car with the driver dead in the front seat.

Jen looked around for an exit-she knew she had forgotten from which way they had originally come from (the streets looked almost identical in every direction).

“Jim, which way is back?” Jen asked anxiously as she started to feel sick for no reason.

Jim looked back-his mind playing tricks on him now-and knew then he didn’t have any idea which way they had come from. He stopped the bike, and looked a full 360 degrees around.

“Jim, maybe we should ask someone?” Scott asked as he felt the back of his neck and it was covered in brown sweat (the paint on the buildings was rusted and falling down like a mist). Scott started to think about Margy, and he worried this was a trap. Then he thought back about how everyone moved out of the way when they neared the entrance to Geto Ghetto. He knew they had done that to mess with the tourists (or possibly rob and kill them).

“Yeah, you go ahead,” Jim replied stoutly as he forced a halfhearted smile. “It’s probably better if you do it anyway, because I don’t want to,” Jim explained as he patted Jen on the arm to help her with her nervousness (and him with his).

“Yeah, let’s just go back, screw it,” Scott was looking for even a hint of light from the parking garage. “I guess, we’ll just drive around in here forever,” Scott said condescendingly as he tried not to cry (but he was frightened they’d die there).

Jim looked at Jack getting off the bike with nervous eyes. Jack calmly walked over to a grey skinned man who wearing a dust covered black-made from blankets-pair of pants and socks, named Roho.

“Hi there, do you know how to get to the stalls for the ahh…ships?” Jack asked as he stood there with his arms behind his back. Then a calm and settled look came over Jack’s face inexplicably.

“Yeah,” Roho answered then he spit a huge wad of snot on the wall.

Jack stood there acting like he hadn’t just seen that, but secretly he wanted to run away from this hobo.

“So, yeah, I guess then ahh… maybe you could point me in the right direction? I’d pay you.”

“How much?” asked Roho quickly, and the smell of money just made him thirsty.

Jack pulled out his wad of cash and peeled off 300 dollars. And he asked hopefully,” How’s this?”

Roho looked at the money, and then spit hard near to Jack’s feet. Roho pointed down a dark alley where several men wearing torn clothes were hanging out. Jack looked at the men; and he knew it was a boldfaced lie.

“You sure, I did give you 300 dollars?”

“Yeah, no I mean, it’s actually ahh, ahh, ahh this way,” Roho said hollowly as he pointed down 5

different roads and alleys, before blatantly guessing it was to the left. Jack knew a guess when he heard one, and this was a guess.

“Aahh, gee, sounded like you were guessing. Is there another way, maybe?” Jack asked as he was about to punch Roho in the face for lying.

Roho smiled, and started to laugh to himself like he had a wad of gum stuck in his throat.

“Wait, now wait, I just have to jog my memory,” Roho said hollowly as he tried to sober up by burping. “Aahh, ahh, ahh...it might, I mean it has to be. Aahh, ahh ahh that ONE,” guessed Roho. “That one right there I swears it!” said Roho sharply as he glared at Jack. “Now run along I got things to drink, beat it,” Roho snapped as he pushed Jack away from him, using the back of his filthy-not lost on Jack-hand to Jack’s cheek.

Jack really wanted to pound Roho, but he knew it was the right direction (and there was no time).

“Let’s go, Jack, we don’t have time to be talking to bums,” Jim said, his face showing a long missing grin. “Just forget it, we’ll find a way out,” Jim spoke loudly as he wanted to show the people standing around, he was powerful. He knew that if he did, that would keep them at bay.

Jack looked at Roho-still burping-and then turned and hopped on the bike. He looked over at Jim and said happily,” I got a way home. Right down there, trust me.”

“Works for me, eh, Jim Nuts,” said Jen happily with her hands on Jim’s hips. “Come on, get to the driving and running out of gas part, please,” Jen begged sarcastically as she had seen about enough of this crappy city for one day. Jim smiled, kissed her arm, and floored it down the road Roho had said. They went past seedy bar after seedy bar, and everyone was nervous, but invigorated.

“I tell you what, Jim, this road does have a light at the end,” Scott said as he could see the docking bay for all the ships rising up over the dirty buildings at the end of the road.

“What do you see?” Jim asked before he could look up and see the docking bay. He felt a rush go through him like he hadn’t felt since he was 10 years old and got a new bicycle (for his 12th birthday).

“Hey, I’m just awesome,” said Jack as he pumped his fist. “You can praise me now, don’t skimp,”

Jack bragged as he pushed out his chest; and reached over like he wanted everyone to slap his hand.

Jim grinned, and gently slapped Jack’s hand, and said jokingly,” You got lucky, but at least we’re not dead. Jen, remember, don’t tell anyone what happened. I’m telling you this, because you’re the biggest gabber in the group, not that I noticed,” Jim said as he put his head back on Jen’s shoulder. And he could feel the air wiz past his ears.

Jen rubbed his red rosy cheeks; and then kissed him on the lips. Jim turned to look at her after this, and she said happily,” You didn’t kill me today, you earned it.”

“I’ll have to remember that one,” Jim said as he looked at Jen, but he had forgotten to steer the motorcycle. And he rode right over Roho’s brother, Doho. Doho was made into a human speed bump, but he wasn’t killed. Jim saw this and nearly fell off the side of the bike (hitting his ankle on a trashcan).

He felt terror run through him as he looked around for those dreaded cops.

“It’s O.k., Jim, no one saw it,” Jack said reassuringly as he looked back and saw what he thought was a wild animal running down the street. Then Jack looked more closely, tried to make out the figure in the fog, and his eyes opened wide and he cried,” It’s HIM! That killing machine!” shouted Jack.

Everyone looked back and saw Margy running full out; he had a steel lock and metal rod in his hands. He had gotten their whereabouts from Roho, who was his uncle (twice removed).

“Oh man, and we’re almost out of fuel,” Jim’s voice frail and helpless. “Holy cow, we are so screwed right now.” Jim could feel how heavy the words were as they came out of his mouth. He looked around, and saw nothing but people who would rob them standing around. He knew they were on their own; and they had to act fast.

“We’re close to the stalls, what if we run for it?” Fred asked, he could see they didn’t have far to go to get to the ship.

“Yeah, let’s ditch the bikes and run,” Jack agreed.

Jen looked at Jack, and then at Jim, and Jim nodded yes. They stopped the bikes and grabbed what they could, and all out ran for it. Jen had liked running when she was younger-won the Caribou mile run once by coming from behind-but she didn’t have the same endurance as she once did. This made her wonder if she could make it.

“We’re close,” Scott exclaimed and then continued. “Everyone keep up this pace and we’ll make it!” Scott ran with the form of a farmer’s son, with his arms flailing. He kept looking back and saw they were a good distance from Margy now. Thank god, he thought.

“You run one step and I run two. Looky, looky, I kill you,” sang Margy. “Come on, just run out of gas already,” Margy begged as he ran like he was on fire (he had a massive air capacity and runner’s legs from a rough childhood IN THE MINES). He knew they would get tired before him, because of all the drugs he was on (those muscle builders as he called them).

They finally got out of Geto, and saw the ship was boarding, but no one was hurrying on. That told Jen they had plenty of time to get there. But what then she wondered.

“Jim?” Jen asked.

“Yeah?” answered Jim.

“What are we going to do when we get to the ship?” Jen asked as she kept her arms pumping like her old gym teacher-Mr. “WRESTLING CHAMP” Smith-had told her to.

Jim looked around and then asked,” What do you mean?”

“I mean, that guy can run onto the ship, there’s not a lot of security to stop him.”

“You’re right,” Jim looked around for the ship’s security, and saw none. “We could end up having to kill him. I hate to say it, but it is invariably true. Man, this is going to take some serious luck. Jack, you ready to lay down the law?” asked Jim slyly as he howled like a dying wolf; and he ran sideways towards the boarding area (just to show off).

Jack grinned and nodded yes, and said happily,” Always, Jim, always.”

“What about poor old Fred, you know I’m ready too. I’m pure badass, born and breed,” Fred said as he jogged along; making damn sure not to trip on anything. There were large trays of half eaten food lying about (as the crew had been eating outside for a change).

Jen smiled when she set foot on the walkway leading into the ship. Then Jen looked back quickly.

She saw no signs of Margy anywhere, and that set her mind at ease.

“I think he gave up, I see no murderer chasing,” said Jen happily as she jumped backwards onto the Fresha. “I HAVE been right before,” Jen said playfully as she hugged Jim with her left arm; and he carried her backwards up the last of the walkway.

They made their way inside; and headed right for the kitchen area. They were all hungry and needed something to ease their worries (namely alcohol).

Beth and Gloria waltzed up the walkway and onto the ship. And they looked as happy as they felt.

“Gloria, I do believe I have conquered another world,” Beth bragged her shoulders back. “Please, let me have your great compliments and all your praise?” Beth begged as she kissed Gloria on the lips.

“Way to go, Beth,” Gloria said sarcastically as she smiled. “Woo hoo!” said Gloria sarcastically as she pumped her fist, and she waltzed onto the ship.

Beth heard this and thought Gloria was becoming a real bitch. Beth slapped her on the shoulder and asked sternly,” What was that again? Are we a scene stealer now?”

Gloria looked down and winced in pain. She looked at Beth, paused, and stuck out her tongue. Then Beth slapped her good and hard across the mouth. Gloria said angrily,” You slap me again I’m gonna break your neck. Careful, Beth, I got nothing to lose.”

Beth looked at her suspiciously-she knew it must be the drugs talking. She decided to let the effrontery go and simply say nothing. They entered the ship and walked silently to their suite.

The ship took off with everyone in good spirits (especially Jen). She was tired of running for her life; and she hoped to never see Margy again.

Chapter 5

Veraclare

The ship made its way through the large asteroid belt-called the Hull Buster-that surrounded Veraclare. Veraclare was where the holograms of famous celebrities lived and continued their incredible artistic work. Many of the celebrities wished they could go there and see it firsthand, but they knew there were too many drama crazy fans there to go. It was dark red on one side; and it was dark green on the other.

It had a vast desert there-The Endless Dry Gulp-that formed after the first civilization ruined the world, and died off. They had been there millions of years earlier; and every so often one of their odd looking skulls or skeletons would pop up in weird places (a church bathroom).

The green section was as lush as you could want, with vast manmade streams and huge trees. The trees were called Olarts-from the word Olartic meaning round and bent-and they reached for the sky; only to reach back for the ground at the top. You could literally walk onto the top of one tree from the grass surrounding it.

“We’re someplace, is this really it?” Jen asked as her eyes drank in cup after cup of Veraclare. “I do hope so, with all the money we paid and the almost dying thing and all,” Jen joked as she watched the ship pierce the atmosphere; and suddenly there were lights everywhere you dared look. It looked as though there was a movie premier-on the largest scale imaginable-happening all over Veraclare.

“Wow, is that it?” Jim asked in disbelief, his hands barely able to stay still (he knew times like these were worth all the hard work in the world). “It really is impressive. I guess if you have ah, all these celebrities, they would want the best. Man, look at all the different lights and ships flying all over. I guess this must be it, or it’s human sacrifice time for Fred,” Jim said sarcastically as he looked at a large floating casino (it was shooting multi-colored 3 dimensional beams into the sky and had the words BIG

TEX KNOWS HOLD EM, SO GRAB A HOT DOG STICK ALREADY.. He wondered if they’d find their way there at some point.

“Its way better than I thought,” Scott had his hands on his calves as he stretched out. “Look, they have actors on anti-gravity cars streaming through the sky,” Scott said as he eyed several hundred different celebrity impersonators, flying around and doing classic scenes from the full movie lexicon.

Jen saw this and prayed she would see the Ben lookalike; but she couldn’t see one as hard as she looked. Then they heard a classic theme song from the movie Let’s Rob a Bum-newish movie that followed lowlifes as they robbed the homeless (and mostly got beaten up by them). It sounded like a trio of guitars intermingling with a classic piano. It soared through the air, and they all smiled at this (having loved the movie).

“Huh, now I feel truly at home,” Jack continued after catching his breath. “I got my beer, pop culture, and my beer again,” Jack said jokingly as he sipped his beer (he had dreamed of this moment, but it was better than he had dreamed it to be). Jack looked down at the different layers of the main city of Romer; as it passed by the outside of the ship. Jack really wanted to act some scenes with Ben Train above anyone else. Even though, he also wanted to do a scene from a Marylyn Monroe movie (just to size her up).

“Beer, your man boobs, nervous laughter you’re good to go,” Fred said sarcastically as he kept looking down. They all laughed at this; as Jack looked at Fred like he was nuts.

“Fred, laying the smack down,” Jim put his arm around Fred and grinned. “I didn’t know you had it in ya, good work. I wasn’t going to mention, Jack’s MAN boobs, but I’m glad you did,” Jim said as he rubbed Fred’s head; and he mentally got ready to unleash his technique on Ben Train’s character. He knew he could do more than just hold his own (especially in the market scene). And he was dying to show it.

“Fred, you’re acting like a cool guy, why are you lying to us?” Jack asked as he saw a 500 foot James Dean hologram trouncing the hordes of people (most of which were laughing like little naughty children). “Maybe you should take off Jen’s underpants and sing LIKE YOU MEAN IT?!” Jack asked as he stood there with his hands in his pockets looking at Fred.

Fred squirmed at this-he did this as a reflex to keep people at bay-and worried his own joke wasn’t as good as he had thought. Then Fred offered Jack his hand and said warmly,” Truce?”

“Truce,” Jack said as he took Fred’s hand.

“Hey, enough of this truce stuff, let’s start thinking about where we wanna go first,” Jim said as he leaned back from the window; and he started to take a few deep breaths (he knew the moment was coming).

“They said we could go wherever we want,” Jen said as she watched scores of people going through the holographic Oscar’s awards ceremony (all of them winning of course and giving their speeches tears and all). “And, they said we’re staying for a week, so it’s go time. I just want 10, or 20 hours with Ben.

I truly believe if I act with him he’ll crush Beth. And I’m always right, even when I’m wrong,” Jen said as she ran her hands through her hair sideways. Then she hopped up and down as she held Fred’s arm.

She was happy and excited to finally see it all.

“Yeah, and we will, no rush,” Jim said calmly as he looked briefly at Jen; before seeing a cruise ship filled with tourists go flying past (it looked like a red version of the Titanic, only larger). “I say today we go and just scope out Ben, ya know. And then tonight, or tomorrow morning we go for it. Think about it, there’s probably a line. Right, there’s gotta be,” Jim explained as he worked on his diction and controlled breathing. Jim walked back from the window casually; and then jumped up and down a few times. He was giddy with anticipation, as he knew he was going to nail it. And then Fred looked and saw the hotel they were going to be staying at-the Regatta Prime-rise out of an active (but controlled) volcano.

The Regatta Prime tallied up some 1 and a quarter miles into the sky. It looked like a jigsaw puzzle-jutting out in odd directions-that was spiraling out from the center on the ground floor. There were lush gardens all around the outside of the hotel; as well as swimming pools where the water was held up over the ground below with anti-gravity. If the thing shut off, you fell like a pop star’s career after a murder conviction.

“I love it here, I just love it,” Scott said his tone making everyone chuckle a bit, as he seemed a tad overanxious. “Jim, I think you’re right. We go over there first, because you probably have to take a number. And if we do-we’ll at the latest-be able to go there tomorrow morning. Which, if you think about it would work out well. Seeing as we’d be rested and ready. But what about food, do we eat now?” asked Scott as he couldn’t contain his glee. He looked around the Regatta Prime-his eyes on every person situated on their decks-and they flew down through the circular center. Scott knew he was finally home.

The ship took a left hand turn, sputtered, and then slid into a parking slot. The ship skidded off the ground unexpectedly; sending everyone flying to the floor in a tangled heap.

“What the crumb lunch is that?” Jen asked in disbelief, her body lying flat on the floor. Then she picked herself up, looked at everyone, and helped Jim off an empty beer can (it was sitting on the floor from the night before).

“I’ll tell ya what that was, a drunk ship captain,” Jim spoke his voice less funny but agitated. “And not only drunk, probably asleep at the wheel,” Jim joked only halfway kidding; as he rubbed his back where the beer can had poked into his skin, and made an impression. Jim wanted to punch the ship’s captain good and hard, but he’d wait until they got back to do it.

“I don’t know what happened, but the ship is smoking, look there!” Jack said, as he pointed to a plume of smoke coming from beneath the ship.

“Then let’s get out of here,” said Scott quickly as he looked for his bags. “Grab your shit, and let’s roll!” Scott said excitedly as he watched the smoke triple by the second.

No one told Scott he was right, they just got up, and ran over to where their luggage was. They grabbed everything-including their cash-and raced off the ship. When they got off they saw most of the other passengers-through the thick smoke-already off and running away from the ship.

“I think it might blow, let’s motor!” Jack cried as he dragged his luggage through the-gold encrusted with white marble floors-landing area. They came to the first of the blue carpets (as the staff called them due to their regal hue and how much they hated vacuuming them). They called them that as well, because each one signified a billion people having stayed at the hotel in the past 200 years.

Jim looked back and saw Captain Icabod Soft being dragged off the ship, gasping for air, as several firefighting-dark red and in the shape of a bowling pins-robots entered the ship.

“Man, the stuff you see when your eyes are shut,” Jim muttered to himself, but Jen heard it and squeezed his right bicep.

“I love that line, and you delivered it as good as you could,” Jen replied happily as she smiled up at Jim. “I mean come on, that’s Ben’s line, Jim,” Jen said as she gazed up at Jim; and they ran into the great gathering hall together.

They looked up and saw 600 diamond chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, with shards of light shining through them all. There were anti-gravity elevators all along the wall; disguised as famous paintings. When you walked up to one, the painting dissolved into an entrance.

“It looks like we’re not dead,” Jack remarked.

Scott set down his bags, slowly looked up, and stopped dead in his tracks. There in front of him was the hologram for Marlon Brando-from the movie The Godfather-having a drink. He looked at the

hologram of Marlon; and he felt every inch of his nerve disappear. He had never seen an actor that commanded so much space before. Jim looked up as he set down his bags; and casually walked over to Brando.

“I see, you’re a new one, sucks being you,” Brando spoke with a disdain for Jim. “Go ahead, lay it on me!” Marlon drank his wine like he picked the grapes himself.

Jim looked around, waited just a moment, and then riffled through the 5 sequels to the Godfather (all of which they had made after Marlon’s death using his hologram and lifeforce). So many lines he wanted to say, but he didn’t want to blow it.

“Is it really death for them all, or can we bury them first?” Jim asked philosophically as he tried to control his breathing.

Brando looked at him with dead eyes. Then Marlon tossed the glass of wine over Jim’s head, startling him.

“You can take their place!” Marlon said coldly as he fingered a gun in his pocket. “I have no problem with that. Just turn that stupid head…and I’ll put flowers in your hair,” Marlon was a little bemused by Jim’s ego; as he walked up to Jim and pulled out a small brown pistol (with a leather grip reading THE BEST OF US WERE ALWAYS DEAD). Jim recalled the right reaction, and continued getting physically and emotionally smaller. Jen watched in awe; as Jim took over his part of the scene.

“This is so awesome, Fred,” Jen said excitedly her hands on Fred’s shoulder as she rested her head there. “I love this,” said Jen as she smiled a little and watched Marlon trying to turn Jim’s head around (to kill him of course). Jim had a new wrinkle. He decided he wouldn’t just casually turn around at all.

Instead, he was going to fight Don Corleone to the last.

“Take your flowers, and shove them UP YOUR ASS!” Jim shouted as he pushed Marlon. “I’m not scared of you, you’re old hat. Nothing, but an old fart bag,” wisecracked Jim with a smug smile. “I’m

embarrassed to talk to you criminal man,” Jim said snidely as he pushed Marlon back again (this time Marlon catching himself). Then Jim tried to knock the gun out of his hand, but Marlon hid it away behind his back.

Marlon waved the gun in front of Jim several times, barely showing emotion, with Jim batting at it every time unsuccessfully. Marlon laughed and said sternly,” You know the gun don’t hurt ya, it’s the lack of air that kills ya like Sunday service. I knew you’d be a hornet in my shoe, but not the right one.

Tell God I’m doing just fine, depending,” Marlon didn’t have to act this one he owned it, as he smirked with a rabid dog’s lip; and looked up at Jim from a lowered left shoulder.

“Depending on what?” Jim growled his eyes never leaving Marlon.

Then Marlon shot Jim 5 times. Jim shook and fell to the ground, and Marlon said snidely,” How good you are at catching a bullet, CRATE BARON. Worthless tie salesman, I buy my OWN TIES

NOW!” snapped Marlon sharply as he kicked Jim viciously in the head; and he took the bullet casings from the pistol and let them all fall on Jim’s head.

The crowd that had formed-it was roughly 50 people-started cheering and giving Jim and Marlon a round of thunderous applause. Jen watched Jim lay there motionless-Jim had holographic blood and wounds-and she thought he looked sexy. She knelt down, chuckled, and slapped Jim gently on the cheek.

Jim let a slit open in his left eye; and he shook his head no and then whispered,” Not yet, I’m loving this!”

Jen stood up, brushed off her hands, and walked back from Jim as she tried not to laugh (she couldn’t help it though). Fred looked at Jim laying there motionless-not even his chest was moving up and down due to a technique Jim had mastered-and Jim looked like he was actually dead and gone. Fred couldn’t help marveling at this. Fred wondered how he had pulled that death off firstly; and secondly where he got the balls to go off script with fucking Brando.

“Man, woman, child, they know only breathing,” Marlon confessed as he dropped the gun onto Jim’s chest. “Me, I know why they don’t,” Marlon stepped on Jim’s back and walked off into the large dining hall. Once he entered the dining hall, a man in a yellow suit named Ed Foxx came up to him-he obviously wanted to bask in Marlon’s glory-and Marlon pushed him away as he laughed and said sternly,” steal somebody else’s scene.”

They finally got Jim up, and congratulated him on holding his own with Marlon. They entered the elevators, started silently smiling to themselves, and went up to their suites (Jim got everyone upgraded so they could all be close together and hang. The money didn’t matter).

In Jim’s suite, everyone was sitting on the floating white swan shaped couch, with Jim taking a shower. They were watching acting tips from the hotel management on the hotel channel of the TV

(Prime Talent Airways). It showed a young red haired actor going up against Leonardo Dicaprio in the film The Great Gatsby. Everyone could see he was obviously nervous as the poor neighbors. Then Leo crushed him with a few well put moments. Jen watched this and said in disbelief,” These fake actors aren’t even good in this crap. Yeah, just let him walk all over you, good strategy, Pal.”

“I love that movie, but I hate these acting tips,” Jack responded with his eyes shut. “I mean I hate to say it, but Jim had the right idea. Just go for it, and see what happens. I’m dying to get someone GOOD

in a scene,” Jack was already playing out emotional responses in his mind for later. “Actually, someone great, that’s why I came anyway,” Jack said his eyes darting around the room. “I’m wondering if we should stop watching this, because it might ruin our acting reality threads, ya know?” Jack asked as he ate a small meatball sub-the size of a cheeseburger at McDonald’s-and crossed his legs on the edge of the couch.

Jen saw the red haired man get thrown out the window by Leo, and she laughed and said happily,”

Yeeaahh! This is way bad. I’m embarrassed now, and I just need to forget I ever saw this. They should have different levels they teach you.”

“What do you mean?” Fred asked while he sat back and stretched out his arms over his head.

“Ya know, like have some of the best ones on one channel,” Jen continued her hands doing most the talking (intentionally to prepare her gifts). “Then some medium level actors like Val Kilmer on another channel. And then this loser on the last one,” Jen said as she stretched out her neck. “It would be better, and better is good we know this. I’ve had kinda good, not as good as better,” said Jen as she was intentionally babbling to calm everyone’s nerves. “Even best, I don’t mind so much, but suck I do. And now that we’re talking about suck, Fred, go suck a pie out of the fridge for me, please?” asked Jen warmly as she smiled at Fred and wrapped her legs around him.

They could hear Jim singing-Something in the way she moves by the Beatles but with his own lyrics-and it sounded pretty damn good.

“Jim’s really whaling in there,” Scott remarked as he tried to really listen. “Hey, are we allowed to raid Jim’s mini-bar?” Scott asked hopefully as he eyed the large blue fridge next to the kitchen.

“Feel free!” Jim bellowed as he hit the rinse button on his shower; causing a single rush of water to wash him clean. “Just save me 10 or 20,” Jim said loudly as he continued getting ready; and he was smiling at himself in the mirror.

Scott stepped down from the couch, exhaled, and walked quickly over to the fridge. He opened it and saw several dozen 16 ounce beers (in every shape and size you could want). He reached in and grabbed the lion shaped Golden Victims beer. Then he examined it and thought it was really cool looking.

“How is it?” Jen asked out of the corner of her mouth.

Scott jumped up onto the couch and said,” I’m not sure yet, give me 4 sips, just 4. Then, oh then I’ll know. And when I know, I’ll sing to strangers, and get arrested. Please keep my adoring fans in the basement, Officer, they can’t help it,” Scott said as he opened the head of the beer. Then a trio of puffs of

flavor shot out around his face. He felt drunk just breathing the fumes; and felt nervous to even take a drink.

“What’s the hold up, Scott?” Fred asked as he put his feet up on the headboard. “You’re a drinker right?” asked Fred as he watched Scott; who was eyeing the golden beer inside nervously.

“What?” Scott asked as he watched the beer swish like a milkshake. “I mean YEAH, of course I am.

I grew up in a family of home brewers. I go way back with beer. Well, here goes glory be thy name,”

Scott said coyly as he half hoped Jim would come out and take the beer from him. He knew it was a lot stronger than what he was used to. He only hoped he wouldn’t embarrass himself at this point. He grabbed the lion tightly around the neck; and he took a good long sip. Then he started dry heaving and coughing loudly (he wished he had thrown the beer, let alone drink it).

“Who’s the lightweight?” Jim asked as he primped his red silk shirt.

“It’s Scott, Jim, he’s a 1 beer and I’m horny guy,” Jen said jokingly, as she put her hand on Scott’s stomach to keep him from convulsing.

“I knew it, can’t hold his beer,” Jim put on some cologne and smiled into the mirror one last time.

“Hey, we’ll head down to the stages in like, 10 minutes,” Jim said loudly as he put on his black Armani socks, and then slipped on his Adidas running shoes. Jim looked great, and felt great. He knew he had kicked ass against Brando. And he knew he would continue to kick ass with the other actors. Once you’d climbed Mt. Brando there was only Ben Train left, he thought.

“Yeah, what you said,” Jen replied as she did her toenails. “Scott, if you’re gonna puke, maybe you should just do it? I mean, are you gonna puke mid-scene?”

Scott coughed, hopped off the couch, and raced into the kitchen. He looked in one sink; and it had 3

large racks of ribs already thawing-for the party later-inside. He started to panic when he saw the other

sink was all the way at the other end of the kitchen. He ran over there, holding his mouth shut and his stomach tightly. He got to the sink and vomited loudly.

“Scott, how could you?” Jack rubbed his shoulder and grimaced. “He really doesn’t like beer does he?” asked Jack.

“No, I think he’s a total beer lightweight,” Jen agreed as she rubbed below her eyes (to get rid of the puffiness) “That said, smell this beer,” Jen added as she held the Golden Victim’s beer to Jack’s nose; and Jack leaned in and smelled the-near rubbing alcohol proof-beer and recoiled.

“Oh god, that’s like hard alcohol,” Jack said as he felt the punch in the face Golden Victim’s was.

“Don’t tell him, but he got suckered with that one,” Jack whispered directly into Jen’s ear, and Fred listened in.

Scott emerged from the kitchen with a towel over his face. He was still flush and red around the cheeks (thankfully he had cleaned his face and hands before coming back in).

“Scott, hey you wanna throw back 6 or 7 beers before we go?” Jim asked sarcastically, as he had heard him throwing up. Jim came out of the bathroom, and Scott gave him the middle finger, causing Jim to laugh.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Scott snorted as he sat down and tried to get his bearings. Jen and Fred chuckled under their breaths.

“Hey, let’s talk about something different,” Jim suggested as he sat down and put on his black leather Nike-Rock the Rim-sneakers. “Who thinks Scott here, is a lightweight? Who thinks he’d upchuck macaroni and cheese if it were too hot? Who thinks he’d get drunk on the word beer?” Jim asked sarcastically as he jumped up onto the couch, looked around like he was going to vomit, and sat down beside Scott and Jen.

Fred burst out laughing, along with Jen and Jack. As they knew this was too funny not to.

“Real funny, go ahead and get it all out,” Scott said indignantly as he tried to keep from vomiting.

Jim chuckled and said,” O.K., let’s forget Scott’s embarrassment for now. Who’s up for going down to the stages?”

“I am,” Scott answered quickly, because even though he didn’t like the beer he WAS now rip roaring drunk, and loving it.

“Yes, I say yes too,” Jack agreed.

“Me too, but only if we leave sometime,” Jen agreed as she rolled off the couch sideways onto the carpet.

“Jen, that’s exactly when we’re leavin’, sometime, like now,” said Jim as he checked his shave in the mirror. “How’s that for sometime, huh, sometime?” Jim asked sarcastically as he stood up, jumped and touched the ceiling, and took one final look in the floating water mirror. The mirror was made of a liquid found on Veraclare called Rague; and it typically floated 4 feet above the ground and was not transparent, but reflective.

“Jim, you read my mind, and I was reading Dickens,” Jen said as she slowly stood up and did her-junior high-cheerleading dance. “Hey, Scott, why hasn’t Fred piped up as of yet? Where’s my Fred pipe?” Jen asked as she watched Fred silently grinning.

Fred stood up, waited for someone to laugh, and stretched out his arms. Then he jumped up and hit the ceiling-he couldn’t let Jim one up him-and he screamed like a dying Banshee. Fred replied,” Let’s party with the smarties.”

“Done and done, whoever sees an actor they like first, gets dibs on the first scene,” Jack said as he pulled his denim shirt sleeves up (he wanted the other actors to know he was powerful, and his huge

forearms did just that). “Although, we’ll let Jen have first dibs on Ben, because she punches hard,” Jack said as he set down his food. They made their way to the elevators. What a day.

They went down to the ground floor; and the doors opened out into a massive 10 lane main street.

There were hundreds of thousands of stages, acting troupes, and movie sets littered on, and around the street. There were even vast outdoor sets ready for any scene (providing you had the balls to act them).

The crowds were mostly actors, but not just any actors, they were the best. It had become a sacred pilgrimage for anyone who thought they were truly talented.

There were also seven hundred thousand musicians in the pits to the left, and in front of each stage.

And they enjoyed playing the classic theme songs to perfection, as well as going on random riffs if the actors made it happen. There were storefronts behind the stages; that had different floors going up like a set of steps. The buildings were 8 stories high; with recreational partying spots on the roof of each step (that were always full of people and stocked with beer and Klarin).

“Wow, it’s bigger than I imagined,” said Jen in disbelief as the idea of this being the greatest spot there was sunk in. She walked along watching scenes starting and ending in every direction. She watched an old man playing Ben Hur-who was an actual descendent of Charlton Heston himself-who was a dead ringer for Charlton. Jen could tell he was not as gifted, but she liked that he was trying nonetheless.

Then Jim saw the film Avatar off to his right. And they had several dozen people playing the Navi (not hard to spot in their makeup). And they were doing the actual language from the movie. Jim looked and saw many of the women-playing the Navi-were bare ass naked under their skimpy clothes and makeup. Wow, I could live here forever, Jim thought.

“I ahh, see naked people,” Jim looked around and then continued,” I see them often, and right in front of my eyes. Hey, let’s keep looking until we find the more serious drama. I say that because, these

are like more gimmicky than anything,” Jim said as he started to warm up his voice using his higher register to speak.

Jack saw the movie Easy Rider being acting out up ahead. And he wondered if they were staying true to the original material.

“Hey, can we check out that easy rider set first?” Jack wondered aloud as he slowed to a crawl. “I’m enjoying this one actor here,” Jack spoke with a calm soothing tone, as he pulled on Jen’s arm to follow him. Jen pulled Fred and Jim in the same direction-fearing they would get bad spots to watch if she didn’t-and smiled brighter than a new sun. Scott saw this and followed them over.

“Hey man, is that marijuana?” Robbie Jones-son of a late 60’s gaffer and Hollywood lifer- asked as he sucked on a holographic joint. “I heard that stuff kills, man. Can I smoke some of the stuff, man?”

Robbie asked awkwardly as he played the Jack Nicholson character (with very little acting on the stoned part). Everyone laughed, and Robbie thought he had nailed it, but they were laughing at him, not with.

“He’s not even saying the same lines, man,” Jim pointed out as he flipped Robbie the bird. “This sucks, let’s keep going,” Jim growled, as he had to look away from Robbie for fear of catching his poor technique (they all knew the story of a famous actor named Breti Ped. Who had done just that and been run out of Hollywood, talentless).

Jen was watching him, and chuckling to herself; as she thought this to be the worst acting she’d ever seen.

“They are blowing it, oh my god,” Jen whispered happily as she fought back laughter. She watched them pass a cigar as the joint a second later (Jim laughed into his palm to avoid being a bad audience member). Then when they lit it, Robbie dropped it onto his pants accidentally. It caused his cheap canvas pants to catch fire. And Robbie shot up and off the set, and ran away screaming.

“Now that’s staying in character,” Jack said as he stretched out his core. “Ya know I might just take this scene somewhere else. Hang out here for a minute,” Jack said as he picked up the glasses Robbie had dropped. Then Jack ran into his spot before a blonde haired man-Old Jack Times-could.

“Here we go,” Jim said as he watched Jack dissolve into the Nicholson character.

“I don’t smoka da weeda,” Jack said drunkenly as he smoked a holographic joint. “I prefer the crack-a -lack. Can you two buzzards give me a ride to go fuck yourselves? Because you guys are losers,”

Jack snorted, as he moved away from the written dialogue. The crowd roared, and the other actors completely froze up. They were not prepared for improvisation (and Jack knew it). The thin man-playing Fonda’s character-was named Dustin Goldneck; and he rocketed to his feet and kicked dirt at Jack.

“No, we don’t drive you and your head, anywhere,” Dustin said coldly as venom seeped from his red stained eyes. “We’re the ones who do the driving, NOT YOU! Maybe you should drive your head off a steep cliff,” Dustin said nervously, as he stood there unsure what to do or say.

Jack looked at him-not sure if he was even a real actor-and then at a smiling Jim, with eyes wide and ready. Jim laughed and said sarcastically,” He’s blowing you away, Jack. You need to up your game,”

Jim said sarcastically as he stood there smiling with his hands up over his head (doing a summer stock jazz hands).

“No thanks, I would love to hang out with you,” Jack added as he stood like he was the thin branch in the strong wind. “So I won’t, and we’ll never speak in human words again. Maybe that cliff, maybe that cliff, is mine someday. If so…I don’t NEED to climb it, because I’ve climbed it before. Find the holes men, find the holes in hypocrisy and know everything worth a damn,” said Jack firmly as he rung his hands out, his head shaking, and a tear rolling down his cheek.

Suddenly everyone that had been laughing-Jim included-was drawn in by his performance. Jack could feel the ebb and flow of the crowd. He was praying Dustin would be able to keep up with him (someone had too).