We arrive at Illusion and I can already feel eyes on me as soon I walk through the door. It’s like this every time, I see the guys looking at me giving me smiles and winks and all I can do is think of is my past. Of Steve. Of Ryan. That’s when the anxiety kicks in and panic starts to bubble.
Mel grabs my hand and gives me a slight squeeze and I’m immediately pulled out of past and back to the present. “I’m here babe, it’s alright. You’re not in school anymore. Remember that they are just looking at you because you are stunning,” she whispers into my ear.
I smile and nod back at her, but stunning is far from anything I feel or have ever felt. No matter how much makeup I wear, or the designer outfits I drape on my body, the expensive shoes on feet- I always feel ugly on the inside. And that’s where the true beauty lies doesn’t it? It’s funny how many compliments I receive these days and how all I do is twist these compliments, shape and shift them so that eventually, they sound negative to me. Totally twisted. Yep that’s me. Hot girl on your six. But an absolute mental shit storm on the inside. Very attractive to the opposite sex I’m sure.
Mel spots Nate sitting in one of the VIP lounges and he gestures her over. She keeps a strong hold of my hand as we walk over. I look around and see the flashing lights and feel the bass of music vibrating through my body. I’m already feeling tipsy from my drink with Mel and I begin to relax a little, even swaying my hips to the music playing in the background.
“Ladies! You both look stunning!” Nate says while giving Mel a kiss on the lips and me a kiss on the cheek.
“Hey Nate,” I say politely.
Mel and Nate have been dating for a couple of weeks now, which surprises me because Mel is not one for relationships. She’s a love ‘em and leave ‘em kinda girl. Cue Samantha from Sex and the City.
“What’s going on Soph, where is the lucky man tonight?” Nate says breaking me out of my trance.
“I’m riding solo Nate. Just here to enjoy the night with you guys.”
“Aw well you’re in luck Soph. I have some friends I’d like you to meet,” he responds.
Before I can object, Nate has a tall guy with short brown hair who is fairly cute standing next to him.
“Micah, this is Sophie, Mel’s friend. Sophie this is my mate Micah,” Nate says cheekily.
I give Nate a death stare before I put my hand out and shake Micah’s hand, “nice to meet you.”
“Likewise,” he says with a cute smile before eyeing me up a down.
A lady comes round with drinks before we can say anymore and I grab a glass of champagne and sip it slowly while trying to make small talk with Micah. I swear I could slap Nate. I am not a charity case.
“Nate mentioned you were beautiful but I have to say, that’s an understatement,” Micah says with a shy smile.
“Oh you’re too kind Micah,” I say sarcastically
He laughs at my brush off. “So what do you do?” he asks
I begin to tell him about my work and he lets me know he works as a civil engineer and that he knows Nate through work.
We continue to make small talk and out of the corner of my eye I see Mel run off with Nate to the dance floor.
Great now I’m stuck here.
Feeling tipsier and a little bored of Micah, I excuse myself to the bathroom. Walking towards the girl’s cubicle, I can’t help but notice three guys standing off two the right chatting away. But one guy catches my eye in particular. He’s the only one who stands there confidently, not talking to anyone. Girls walk by him, openly gawking at him, but he just ignores them. My eyes travel from his face down to his feet and I instantly like what I see.
He has wavy brown hair and he’s attire consists of a white shirt that has a few buttons open exposing his very muscular chest. His sleeves are rolled up, exposing the tattoos that snake up both his arms. When he swigs his beer I can see the muscles in his biceps, and his shirt is hiding what I can tell is a washboard stomach that makes me want run my hands down those abs. My eyes travel down further and I see he is wearing jeans that are hung low revealing his Armani underwear. He’s at least six foot tall; with the most gorgeous olive skin I have ever seen. And he’s built like a Greek god. He works out alright. He is the epitome of gorgeous. But it’s not so much his body, or his tattoos, or clothes that catch my eye. It’s his eyes.
He has the most intense emerald green eyes. Eyes that you could get lost in if you’re not careful. Most of all, he looks like a whole lot of trouble. A heartbreaker for sure. With looks and a body like that, you would be done for. And he’s also so out of my league. A guy like him could have any girl and I would be lucky to even have the chance to have him look my way.
But before I can continue staring any further, he slowly turns his head scanning the place and his eyes land on mine. His eyes are more gorgeous than I thought and his stare is so intense it’s like I’m caught in some weird hypnotic state. Feeling embarrassed that he caught me looking I quickly look avert my eyes and hightail it to the girls bathroom.
*******
As I head back from the girls bathroom, I spot Mel and Nate near the bar talking to some of his friends. I begin to walk over but am grabbed by the arm by my business partner, Emmanuel.
“Sophie! Look at you, you sexy minx! You look to die for darling,” Emmanuel yells excitedly over the music before giving me a kiss on each cheek and big bear hug.
“Hey Em! So good to see you! Are you here with Frederick?”
Emmanuel, or Em as Mel and I affectionately call him, is the most gorgeous gay guy we have ever seen. He met his partner Frederick a couple of years ago I have never see Em so happy in all the time I’ve known him. Em is also the hottest looking gay guy I have ever met and is one of the nicest guys too. He had a similar upbringing to me. He was beaten up and picked on during his school years and life was not pleasant for him in any way. When his parents found out about his sexuality, his father flipped and ended up disowning him. He suffered severe depression throughout his teens and early adult life. But ever since he found Frederick, and removed himself from people that brought him down, he grew into the man he was always meant to be. I guess that’s why Em and I have a friendship like glue. We just get what each other has gone or is going through.
“Oh we had a fight, he’s being a child because we went looking for places today so we could move in together and we fought about everything from the location, to the house not being big enough, to not having a big enough closet to fit all his shoes in. Who knew moving in with someone could be such a pain in the ass!”
I laugh at him. Em and Jase are always at it. “Aw you guys will work it out! Come on, let’s go to the bar and grab a drink” I say linking arms with him.
Em was the only person who helped me through the panic attacks I suffered and he in turn opened up to me about his the depression he faced growing up. I was there for him as a friend, forever telling him I loved him and just how much of a beautiful person he was. We formed a strong bond. One day while he was over at my place, he noticed the jewellery items I was designing on the side, and that’s how he invested in me. It just so happened that he was also building his own business-a real estate company that was earning him a lucrative amount of money. Before long, his company hit the multimillion dollar mark and he now sells to the elite in Hollywood.
Em and Mel are my best friends. They know about my past and they know about my anxieties and fears. If it wasn’t for Emmanuel believing in my designs, and Mel’s nurturing spirit, I don’t think I would be where I am today. I owe them my world. That’s how close my bond is with them.
Because of our pasts, Em and I both want to help people who suffer with anxiety and depression, especially since we experienced these feelings first hand and we never want anyone to feel that way. Together we started our own charity called the ‘Star Foundation’. Since its inception a year ago, we have raised over a million dollars.
“So what’s going on with you Soph? I saw that guy checking you out,” he says pointing over to Micah.
“Oh Micah. Yeah he’s Nate’s friend and as cute as he is, he’s a bit of a bore.”
“Well he can’t take his eyes off you.”
“So who are you here with?” I ask changing the subject.
“Actually a few guys from work and a couple of clients.”
“Mixing business with pleasure I see. Trying to get your clients drunk so they can say yes to the ridiculously expensive properties you show them?” I tease
He just laughs. “Speaking of business, you mentioned the other day Barney’s would be stocking your range in New York! That is awesome Soph!” he says excitedly
I was lucky enough to have my jewellery line stocked in Barney’s in their LA stores, but I really want my range in their flag ship store in New York so they have agreed to meet me in a couple of weeks to decide the outcome.
“Ah I wouldn’t be celebrating just yet. I haven’t signed any contracts. Their LA office told me verbally it would be happening but I still have to meet with the buyers in New York next month to sign a contract. And until I have that I don’t want to get my hopes up. Besides, it’s our business, not mine,” I say seriously.
“Honey, the business is all you. You’ve put in the hard work. I merely gave you some dosh,” he says with a wink. “And don’t think so negatively about what the buyers will say. You will be fine darling. It’s all going to work out, you will see Bella. C’mon let me introduce you to my friends.”
I wave over at Mel letting her know I’m heading over with Em and she winks at me.
Em introduces me to about seven different guys and I’m already feeling anxious at the idea of holding a conversation with people I don’t even know. My hands begin to sweat and my breathing starts to become shallow. Noticing my unease, Em squeezes my shoulder. “Breathe Soph. I’ right here. Just breathe. You can just stay and talk to me if you feel uncomfortable.”
“Thanks Em I should be okay. You know I get like this around people I don’t know,” I say shakily.
As I sit down on the couch next to Em, Daniel- one of his work colleagues- starts telling us about his mates bucks night and how he was arrested for his nudey run down the freeway while having a burning cigar lodged between his arse cheeks topped with a Santa hat. The image alone is enough to set me into a fit of laughter. The hilarious buck’s stories continue with the other guys and I am in tears at the antics these guys have gotten up to.
I turn up to scan the crowd for Mel, but I freeze as I see the same guy I was checking out before standing in Em’s circle of friends with his eyes glued to mine. His stare is so intense it leaves a scorching trail of fire from wherever his eyes travel. I’m caught somewhere between anxiety and lust and I begin to break out in a sweat almost immediately. I look away hoping he has too, but when I look back he is still staring at me. I can see a busty blond talking animatedly to him and even though he nods his head at her, his body language tells me he’s not interested.
Please don’t tell me he’s a friend of Emmanuel’s.
Before I can say or do anything, Em tells me he’s getting up for a drink. Now I’m left sitting alone looking a little out of place as I’m surrounded by people but not talking to a single one of them.
So I do what any person would do in this situation. I pull the phone out of my clutch and pretend to look busy. In reality I’m just re-reading text messages and hoping Em comes back soon so I can get out of this awkward situation.
At the same moment I pretend to read messages that I’ve already read, I feel the couch next to me dip. I turn thinking I would be seeing Em. Instead I am greeted with that gorgeous guy I couldn’t take my eyes off earlier.
Holy shit he is so damn gorgeous.
He looks at me with a killer smile.
“Hey,” he says with a nod.
“Hey,” I say completely dumbfounded.
What is he doing here?
Immediately I feel the panic start to surface and I know he is going to think I am a total freak if I lose it in front of him. I decide to just get up and hang out with Em at the bar.
I begin to gather my things about to leave when Mr gorgeous turns to me and puts his hand out to shake mine. “I’m Jase, a friend of Emmanuel’s. I saw you talking to him before and noticed he left you stranded so I thought I’d come and save you,” he says with a confident smirk.
Kill.me.now.
I realise I have two options. Pretend like I never heard and run. Or stay like a normal person would and engage in a conversation. I decide to go with the latter. I want to be a normal person.
“I’m Sophie. It’s nice to meet you Jase,” I say shaking his hand.
Jase cocks his head to one side and smiles at me.
I just stare at him wondering why he’s even staring at me.
This is going to get awkward, fast.
My eyes wander down the tattoos on his arms. I can’t quite make out the tattoo on the right, but the one the left is of a phoenix. It’s actually pretty amazing. My eyes trace his face, noticing up close just how chiselled his jaw is and how piercing green his eyes are, and oh, that skin. He has the most beautiful sun-kissed tanned skin I have ever seen. Some people go red in the sun and end up looking like they have permanent sunburn. Jase looks like he’s been in the sun and the sun itself kissed him for blessing it with his presence. He also looks like a whole lot of trouble. Like he’s from the Russian mafia or something and is secretly a Hitman. With his build I certainly would not want to be on his bad side. I can tell he’s bedded a lot of girls and left a string of broken hearts. And I’m probably just another helpless drooling girl he’s met before.
What am I now, a profiler?
Realizing I have been staring at him like a complete idiot this whole time I decide to break the silence.
“That’s a pretty amazing tattoo you’ve got there. I’ve seen phoenix tats’ before, but I’ve never seen one as detailed as this. The colours are amazing,” I say pointing to his arm.
Jase stares at me for a couple of his seconds before he speaks. “I’m glad you noticed it and think that. It took over 25 hours to complete.”
“Did it hurt?”
“Depends on your pain threshold,” he says smirking. “It’s bearable. You just have to try not to think about it.”
‘Well I guess it couldn’t have been that bad since you got several more done on the other arm,” I say checking out his other ink.
“I didn’t realise you were checking me out that much to realise, but yes you are right, Sophie,” he says with a smile that seems to be getting bigger and bigger at each idiotic sentence I say.
Damn I like the way he says my name.
I’m mortified that he noticed me checking him out and called me out on it. I try and think of a comeback with some witty one liner but I have no ammo.
“So how do you know Emmanuel?” he says breaking the awkwardness I feel.
I tell him how we met and about my jewellery business and how Emmanuel invested in me and how things have taken off.
“Wow so you gave up Journalism and perused what you wanted. Well good for you. And I’ve actually heard of your jewellery line. My sister goes on about your brand a lot,” he says proudly.
He’s heard of me? Did he just give me a compliment? Oh if only I could break out into my happy dance right now.
I play it cool and just smile back at him. “So what about you, Do you work with Emmanuel?” I ask
“Actually no, I’m one of his clients. I live over in New York and am here in LA to find a house since I will be here for at least six months of the year. Work is getting really busy and our client base is on the increase and I can only fly back and forth so much. Emmanuel seems to be the man to go though. He found me my place in New York so I flew up here for business and in the time, Emmanuel is going to help me find a place.”
“So six months here and six months in New York? What exactly is it you do for work?” I ask curiously.
I half expect him to tell me he works for the Mafia and he really is a Hitman. And that I’m his next target.
“I run my own consulting firm in New York. We work in the Marketing side of business, everything from Advertising, Sales, and Public Relations. I move around a lot for work – hence me buying property in LA as I have so many clients- but home is always New York for me,” He says conversationally.
Great, he had to go and ruin it by being handsome, successful and smart.
Luckily Emmanuel arrives in time to save me from embarrassing myself anymore.
“Ah, I see two of my favourite people have met,” he says putting down some drinks and handing me a glass of champagne.
He begins talking to Jase and I sip my champagne slowly but I can feel Jase’s eyes on me the entire time. Jase’s green eyes burn twin flames into mine. My heart does a double take at the electricity I can feel between us. It’s like the music is fading into the background and all other voices are being drowned out except for Jase and I. That’s how his eyes make me feel.
Just when I think I can’t be any more heated from his stare, his eyes travel down to my legs and slowly, very slowly, travel up my chest, my neck, and then my stomach. He’s making it completely obvious to me he’s checking me out and not even bothering to feel wrong about it. It’s such a sexual turn on that a slight sweat breaks out on my face. How this man does this to me I don’t know. I hardly know him. And he’s already making come unhinged.
I can barely concentrate on what Em is saying with the way Jase is looking at me. Like he’s devouring me with his own eyes. Like I’m a feast he can’t wait to eat.
“So what do you think Sophie?”
“Huh?” I ask.
Emmanuel just rolls his eyes, “The masquerade ball next week. I was just telling Jase about the charity fundraiser we organised for the Star Foundation. You know the one we setup together?”
I stare blankly at Em for a few seconds before I realise what he’s saying. Em wanted to hold a charity fundraiser for the foundation we implemented. I told him it would be a great idea and I’ve already contributed a third of my business profits from the last year to the event. I also thought it would be great to have theme, make it something different, so I suggested we have a masquerade ball. Complete with fire breathers, juggling acts – almost like being in a circus. I wanted the entertainment to help pull in as many sponsors and donate an even larger amount to the foundation than last year.
I sneak a look at Jase who continues to devour me with his eyes. I can tell he wants to laugh at how nervous he’s making me with the way his lips keep twitching upward trying to break a smile.
“Of course I’m coming Em. I help you set it up! And Mel is inviting Nate and his friends too,” I say meekly
“Sounds great. The more people, the more money we raise.”
The rest of the conversation goes on with a blur. Feeling buzzed from the way too many champagne drinks I’ve had, I decide to go and look for Mel to head home.
“I’m off Em. Gotta do some work on my designs tomorrow and I have a boxing session that I don’t want to miss.”
Em gets and gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Okay babe I’ll give you a call during the week.”
I look over to Jase who just nods his head once at me and smiles.
“Sophie.”
With a shaky voice I turn and smile, ‘Nice meeting you Jase.”
“Likewise,” he smiles back.
I turn to walk away and spot Mel over near the bar. But something tells me to look back. It’s as if I can feel Jase’s eyes still on me. I refuse to look back, because if he is looking, then I don’t want to give him the satisfaction that I looked. And if he isn’t looking, well that would just make me look like an idiot and further play on my insecurities.
“Hey Babe I’m ready to go,” I mouth to Mel who is laughing with Nate and his mates.
We say bye to the guys, with Nate promising to call Mel again as we head out the doors to call a cab.
But curiosity gets the better of me and I can’t help but look back to see where Jase is.
Sure enough, his eyes are locked on mine.