PHI
The journey back to the sacred tree, through desert and forest, was slower than the last time. We needed to keep appearances and not fly when the sun was out. Maggie told me all about it as we drove.
"It's been around for thousands of years. Your people call it Methuselah. It's been the pilgrimage site for the Wyseman and their allies for generations..."
The trip was bittersweet, going through my memories of my mother, her teachings, her philosophy, her lies... Gabe, Brie and Elle all together were mourning the death of my childhood fantasies. My mother had been my sole family. In spite of her alcoholism, I always assumed she was a very promising woman led stray by an evil man.
"That might still be true," Brie said. "After all, Osiris did have sex with her willingly. He might have implied that he was going to stay with her, and she got carried away."
"So that gave her the right to betray her high school friend?I" Gabe asked, a bit angered and added. "If being brokenhearted was the justification for every bad deed, everyone would deserve to cheat and lie to and deceive. Elle also had something to share.
There's a point where you just can't justify dealing with your pain by creating more."
I decided never to speak about this to my mother. It was too painful and I knew it won't end well. I could visit my father without her knowing. I'd deal with it on my own. If her soulful confessions were true, then she felt that she did the right thing. I knew very well that my mother's feelings were her only truth. I decided to let go of her and her life choices and make my own.
"Her body, her choice...My body, my choice."
I thought back to my conversation with my father. I realized why the way he looked when he spoke about Lupe seemed familiar. He did look at her like that before kissing her goodbye, but it wasn't just that. It was the same strange expression I saw in William's eyes when he looked at me all those times.
"I didn't know what it was, because no man has ever loved me that way before." The words left my lips in a whisper. My heart beat faster, understanding the depth of William's feelings for me.
Then magically, to use an appropriate word, a transformation happened inside me. Gabe and Elle were sitting together and holding hands when they started to melt. In a flash of light, my Id and my Ego became one and the same.
Brie was shocked, she ran away from the vision, fearing her own consumption. But it ended as fast as it started, and in their place stood a new girl. Her mid length hair down, she wore a white lab coat over a short red dress and matching red flats, she was wearing glasses and makeup. Gone were Elle's signature smokes and drinks and Gabe's sporty look.
HI'm Gale." The girl said. Her voice that was both Gabe and Elle, and yet neither. She offered her hand to Brie who was hiding behind the chest, who brushed it aside.
When we finally arrived at the tree, a new certainty was flowing in my mind. The trunk opened without Maggie doing anything, like it had been waiting for me. The land bridge unfurled once more, pointing the way to William. This time, Maggie stayed on the edge, giving us space. I walked purposefully, my heart accelerating with each step. It was filled with the anticipation of the moment and the smell and heat of the cave.
I saw him floating, his skin was glowing from the light under us. His face looked less pale than the last time I saw him. I leaned in to kiss him, my mind filled with the images of our time together. My feelings burned bright in my body with no more fear.
Nothing.
I