"Sharon, I've received the test results from the lab," said Dr. Kemper lowering his head, not wanting to look into her tear-filled eyes. They were swollen as though she had lost the first round of boxing with Muhammad Ali. Willingly, he distracted himself by looking at the papers he held in his hands, flipping the pages back and forth on the clipboard. He wanted to make sure he did not miss anything. No matter how many times the elderly doctor delivered grave news, it never got any easier.
Sharon's face turned pale as she looked at the doctor, waiting for him to continue about the news of her husband James. She could tell by the look on his face the news would be
heartbreaking. Her heart started racing as she shifted from one foot to the other. When he didn't finish his sentence, she snapped at him. "Spit it out, what are the results?"
He took a deep breath, and as he exhaled his cheeks puffed out. "The MRI shows James is brain dead, and there's nothing medically we can do. The machine is breathing for him and it is the only thing keeping him alive. Too much time had passed after his heart attack, and his brain was deprived of oxygen. I'm sorry Sharon. I wish I could give you better news."
"I do too." Sharon lowered her eyes to her beloved husband. Thoughts of him raced through her mind. She recalled when they met, their first date, their marriage, and the birth of their children. As she remembered the birth of their first child, Kismet, tears began to flow. Kismet's head came out pointed and lopsided, causing James to say, "Look he's an alien. Honey, is there something you want to tell me?" The doctor laughed for ten minutes.
Dr. Kemper coughed, and Sharon snapped back to reality. "You will need to decide when you want to turn off the machine. I'm sure you'll need to talk with family about the details. Also, you'll need to let the family know so they can come say goodbye." This was the part he hated the most, when the loved ones discussed what should be done—they never agreed. Some didn't want him to suffer, and some wanted him hooked up to the machine forever.
"Do you mind if I think about all this information?" She needed time alone to think. Picking the day and time to let her husband die was not a choice she wanted to make, tired or not.
Thoughts raced through Sharon's mind about the sorrow this decision would cause, especially for Lana. Cousins or not, they had been best friends for decades. Now in a fleeting moment, his life would end. This decision would be a crushing blow to her and all the family.
"Absolutely, you take all the time you need. I'll come by in the morning to check on you and answer any questions you might have."
"Thank you." Sharon picked up her coat and kissed James' cheek. "Good night doctor. I'll see you in the morning." The last few days with only a few hours of sleep had caught up with her. Knowing her own body—she needed rest. Without rest, she might doubt any decision she made.
"I guess I'll say goodnight, and I want you to try to get a decent night's sleep." He was never shocked by how distraught spouses acted. Some would scream at the top of their lungs, and others would laugh. Most cried and were afraid to make any decisions, letting the doctor spoon-feed them through the process. Sharon appeared to be the quiet type and always wanted to be alone to think about what to do next.
They both walked out of the hospital room without saying another word, but she did glance back at her husband one last time.