If your date is the touchy-feely sort of personality, you’ll know it in his or her body language, even on the first date. He or she will instinctively reach out to touch you. Observe how
he or she touches you, and where. Does he kiss you on the
cheek at the beginning and at the end of the date, or does he do the old-fashioned hand-kiss? Does she link arms with you, or hold your hand most of the time? The trick here is to try to mirror your dating partner’s style of physical contact. Do as
he or she does. (Your date has to adopt the same principle, too.)
If your date comes from a very conservative culture, you might find that physical contact is rather limited on your first date. You might find it too limiting. Nevertheless, you must respect your date’s personal preferences. (This is something both men and women need to observe) If you don’t, your date will either feel as if you’re disrespecting him/her, or that you’re too forward for him/her. Remember, respect this conservative culture and keep your “dates” to “coffee meetings” until both comfort levels reach the point of “alone dating”.
So when should the first kiss happen? The first kiss
should happen either after the first “date” or after the second. If it doesn’t happen after the second date this usually indicates there is not enough of a sexual connection, and this may be a friend, rather than a long-term partner. Go back to the ‘ideal partner’ that you mapped out and see if this person is matching on other levels with you before deciding on a third date. A
strong sexual connection is very important to any relationship. It should be at a peak when you first meet, and can be easily maintained for years if that person’s attributes match all the other points you’ve mapped out. If this is a meaningful, long- term partner relationship, the sexual connection between both should almost be at an uncontrollable level. Both would have to put in a considerable amount of effort not to think about the other person.
If both are feeling this overwhelming sexual connection toward each other, you are ready for the kiss. When the time is right, usually when you are saying goodnight, the prelude to the kiss should be a hug, and some soft strokes to the hair. Once both are comfortable and relaxed, go in for the kiss.
Make it soft, and remember to use your hands along the cheeks so the other person knows that they are the one in your mind, and you want them entirely.
Think of this aspect of dating as a tango dance. You need to pay close attention to how you feel and how your dating partner feels, even without either one of you having to say a word about how much physical intimacy should be there.
When in doubt, err on the side of caution. Always ask your date partner if it’s OK to kiss him or her. When done properly, asking someone’s permission to hold hands or kiss can be the sweetest thing to behold. (Chances are you’ll get a “yes.”)