Rule 3. Always be fair and courteous towards your date.
It takes more work than just bearing this rule in mind. You have to make sure it shows.
Try your best to come on time for your set date (and all subsequent dates). If and you’re going to be late, do your best to contact your date as early as possible to let him or her know you’ll be late, and by how long. If you’re the type to be a little late every now and then due to various reasons (i.e. you’re a doctor or surgeon on call; you’re a single mom with a child who suddenly falls ill), make sure your date knows this. In fact, during the stage when the two of you were beginning to get to know one another before going out, your situation should have been made clear. This is what’s called managing expectations.
Dress appropriately. This means you have to take into consideration your personality, your date’s personality, and the date venue and occasion. Dress yourself in a way that’s flattering to you, appropriate to your personality and age, in a manner that will make your date pleasantly surprised. If it’s not appropriate, don’t dress to shock, to the point that your
date is left wondering who the heck you really are, and if you’ve even managed to leave adolescence.
In other words, if you’re a stylish banker by day, don’t suddenly show up for dinner at the upscale restaurant dressed in (if you’re a woman) the shortest red baby-doll dress and leather boots, or (if you’re a man) a torn jeans + muscle shirt
+ fedora. (If you’re at a comic-con and the two of you agreed to
both come dressed as one of the X-men, that’s appropriate.) If you dress inappropriately just to suit yourself, you could be making your date uncomfortable, and that’s not fair to him or her.
Be fair and courteous to everyone you meet as well. It’s just not your date you have to behave well for. It’s everyone else. Show you’ve got class by treating everyone like they’ve got class. Be nice and fair to the homeless man who
accidentally bumps into you, or the waiter, or the taxicab driver. Your date wants to see that they’ve chosen a good person to go out with, and his or her eyes will be on you throughout the whole date, trying to see what sort of person you are. It will look downright creepy if you are all sweet smiles with your
date, yet belligerent with the waiter.
Observe a few old-fashioned manners. Don’t do them just because they’re beautiful and timeless, but because they are great ways to show courtesy and affection towards your date. I shall list a few examples.
Gentlemen, please try to observe the act of opening a door for a lady, and letting her go through it first before you
follow. Do it in the spirit of sincere reverence and affection for your lady. If she happens to be carrying something really awkward or heavy, offer to carry some of it.
Ladies, let the men open the doors for you if they want to, and please show your gratitude every time. A sweet smile or a little “thank you” will do. The gesture is meant to show
reverence to you, not to put you down. If a man asks if he can carry a few things for you (a coat, a bag), and you choose to accept the offer, do show the same gratitude. (If the occasion doesn’t call for it, avoid lugging around needless stuff and then expect your date to carry it. That’s not fair, either.)
Regardless of the occasion, try not to act like a slob or pig. Watch your table manners (and if you don’t have any, study how to improve them). Watch the appropriateness of your language or your tone of voice. (Don’t swear too much, or use an inappropriate voice that calls too much attention to you.)
Before going out, always make sure it’s clear who’s paying for what. If you’re the one asking someone out on a date, make sure it’s an occasion each of you is fully capable of paying for fully, on your own. Be sensitive to each other’s economic status and agree on how you’ll split the bill before going out. Don’t insist on going to a date event you can’t afford yourself, and then expect your date to foot half or the entire bill. Or, if you insist on going to an expensive event your date can’t afford, offer to pay for everything. If you’re the
one that’s being treated for free, and you positively adore your date, try to reciprocate by setting another date, this time with something you’re spending for.
Pay attention to your date. Unless it’s urgent, please don’t conduct a conversation with your date while composing an SMS on your cell phone or reading e-mails in your Blackberry. Don’t go staring at other sexy men or women who pass by; it’s a
complete turn-off. Don’t make snide, unnecessary comments about other people who happen to pass you by during your time together. What has all of that got to do with your date? Your hot date is the star of the occasion, so you must behave accordingly.
Turn off your cell phone or put them in a silent or discreet mode. Enough said.
Do not overeat or drink too much alcohol. Don’t force your date to do the same, either.
You should keep yourself open to new experiences, even on a date. On the other hand, don’t do or say anything that will make your dating partner uncomfortable, or force your partner to do something they’re not comfortable with. You’re both supposed to enjoy your time together.
Rule 4. Establish appropriate levels of physical intimacy.
This is a tricky rule, as observing it depends largely on the personalities of the dating couple, and how attracted to one another they are. Yet there are a few rules to physical intimacy that can be applied universally.
A big part of our personality is still shaped by the family, environment or culture we grew up in. There are also some customs and notions of personal safety that some of us have, which others do not share. Nevertheless, they are to be respected.