Eternal Message
WHAT WE DO IS NOT ENOUGH
WHAT WE ARE IS NOT ENOUGH
WHAT WE WANTED TO BE IS NOT ENOUGH
WHAT WE WISHED FOR,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
WHAT WE WROTE,
RIGHT HERE,
RIGHT NOW,
IT IS NOT ENOUGH
IT IS NEVER ENOUGH
WHAT FRIENDS WE HAVE,
IT IS NOT ENOUGH
WHAT FRIENDS WE WISH WE HAD,
IT IS NOT ENOUGH
WHAT OUR NAMES ARE,
THEY ARE NOT ENOUGH FOR US
WHAT WE LOOK LIKE,
IT IS NOT ENOUGH FOR US
HOW WE WANTED TO LOOK,
OUR IMAGINATION WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW WE WANTED TO FEEL,
OUR EMOTIONS WERE NOT ENOUGH
HOW STRONG WE WANTED TO BE,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW MUCH WE WANTED TO IMAGINE,
OUR IMAGINATION WAS NOT ENOUGH
WHAT WE WANTED TO IMAGINE,
OUR IMAGINATION WAS NOT IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH
WHAT WE TRIED TO IMAGINE,
OUR IMAGINATION WOULD BARELY IMAGINE
HOW WELL WE WANTED TO SEE,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW WELL WE WANTED TO TOUCH,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW WELL WE WANTED TO SMELL,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW WELL WE WANTED TO BREATHE,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW WELL WE WANTED TO BREATHE FRESH AIR,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW MUCH WE WANTED TO BE DIFFERENT FROM PEOPLE,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW SIMILAR WE WANTED TO BE WITH PEOPLE,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
MORE
I NEED MORE
I WANT MORE
HOW MUCH WE WANTED TO LOVE OUR FAMILY,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW MUCH WE WANTED TO LOVE OUR FRIENDS,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW MUCH WE WANTED TO TALK,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW MUCH WE WANTED TO STAY QUIET,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW MUCH WE WANTED TO FLY,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW MUCH WE WANTED TO SWIM,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
MORE
I WANT MORE
I NEED MORE
HOW MUCH WE WANTED TO BE LIKE ANIMALS,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW MUCH THEY WANTED TO BE LIKE US,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW MUCH WE WANTED TO HAVE INTEREST,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW STRONG WE WANTED TO HAVE INTEREST,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW MUCH WE WANTED TO SEE SUNLIGHT,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW FRIENDLY WE WANTED TO BE TO PEOPLE,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW FRIENDLY WE WANTED TO BE TO FRIENDS,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW FRIENDLY WE WANTED TO BE TO FAMILY,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW MUCH WE WANTED TO FOLLOW OUR OWN PATH,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW MUCH WE TRIED TO BE NOTHING BUT FRIENDLY,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW HARD WE TRIED TO LOVE ALL LIFE,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW MUCH WE BELIEVED IN OURSELVES,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW MUCH WE BELIEVED IN OURSELVES,
OURSELVES THAT WE FORGET AS WE CHANGE,
UNTIL THEY ARE GONE FROM US,
IT WA S NOT ENOUGH
HOW HARD WE TRIED TO BE OURSELVES
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW HARD WE TRIED TO UNDERSTAND,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW HARD WE TRIED TO DO WHAT WE DID,
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
MORE
I NEED MORE
I WANT MORE
HOW MUCH EFFORT WE PUT INTO WHAT MATTERED TO US,
IT JUST IS NOT ENOUGH
HOW MUCH EFFORT I TRIED TO PUT INTO THIS,
IT IS DEFINITELY JUST IS NOT ENOUGH
HOW MUCH EFFORT YOU SPENT READING THESE WORDS,
IT IS DEFINITELY NOT ENOUGH.
READ IT AGAIN, PLEASE.
How much time I spent on this “Poem”, or whatever it is,
IT IS NEVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH
THOSE LAST WORDS I WROTE ABOUT IT “NEVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH”?
THAT STILL WAS NOT ENOUGH
AND NEITHER WAS WHAT I JUST WROTE ABOVE.
NU-UH. NU-UH.
NEVER ENOUGH
I’LL END IT HERE,
BUT IT IS STILL NOT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING EVEN CLOSE
TO EVER COMING CLOSE TO BEING EVEN CLOSE TO
BEING ENOUGH
WHY?
WHY IS IT JUST NOT ENOUGH FOR ME?
MORE
I WANT MORE
I NEED MORE
How much we wanted to be “crazy”, whatever that means,
It was not enough
How much we wanted to be “calm”, or “sane”,
It was not enough
How much we wanted to be the opposite of crazy....
“Calm”?, Maybe?....
Or whatever the opposite of crazy is.
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
I COULD GO ON
I COULD GO ON
I COULD GO ON
I COULD GO ON
GO ON
GO ON
GO ON
GO ON
On
On
On
On
On
On
On
On
On
On
On....
But I am not going to, for now.
I’ve spent too much time on this,
But I’m sure it’s not enough
I’m sure I’ll look back on it,
And know that IT WAS NEVER EVEN CLOSE TO ENOUGH,
CLOSE TO THE ENOUGH THAT I COULD DO.
And close to the enough
That you could do,
Whether you know you could have done it,
Or can do it,
Or don’t know what you can do
Or don’t know what you could have done.
You could not reach the border where you would think “that is enough”,
And let a pure smile spread on your face,
True and free to experience joy.
NO. It is not enough for you. It is not enough for me.
More
I Need More
I Really, Really, Really, Really Want More
How much people thought you were “weird”
It was not enough. You deserve to be “weirder”
How much you wanted to be “weird”
It is not enough. You deserved to be born “weirder”.
A “weird” baby at your birth.
How much you wanted to achieve,
It was never enough.
Nu-uh. Nu-uh. It was never enough.
How much CREDIT, PRAISE, WORSHIP, RESPECT, ADMIRATION, UNDERSTANDING, HAPPINESS in your life,
You thought you should have gotten, or you should have gotten, or you should as yourself now,
It was never enough. IT WAS NEVER UP TO YOUR STANDARDS.
It was never up to your opinion of yourself. Nobody cares about who you actually are. Nobody cares about what they don’t know about you.
What they care about is what they see before their eyes.
If you experienced a life-changing adventure in your imagination,
It is just not enough. Your life is the same. It has only changed in your fantasies.
Your reality is the same as before.
But there is peace and happiness in that, right?
So maybe that was enough....
Nobody truly knows....
How much you wanted EVERYTHING, YOUR LIFE,
To flow from the fountain of life,
As you drink the water that gives you LIFE.
Unfortunely, it was just never enough water.
LIFE was not in your favour
How much you loved yourself,
It was not enough.
How much you loved people,
It was not enough.
How much you loved animals.
How much you loved all living things.
It was not enough for you.
HOW MUCH YOU TRIED TO MAKE OF YOUR LIFE....
IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
HOW MUCH TIME AND EFFORT I PUT INTO WRITING ALL OF THIS,
IT DEFINITELY, ABSOLUTELY WAS NOT ENOUGH.
I COULD HAVE DONE UNBELIEVABLY, SO MUCH BETTER.
I COULD HAVE HAD A SMILE ON WHEN I FINISHED WRITING ALL THIS.
BUT....THIS COULD GO ON FOREVER.
SHOULD I MAKE THIS GO ON FOREVER?
WILL IT BE ENOUGH THEN?
You have better things to do with yourself.
You have better things to do with the people you know.
It may never be enough at all,
Whatsoever,
But at least.... I tried hard.
You tried to live your life,
But your life....it was never enough.
And would never be close to being enough for you.
Oh. Look at the pages. So few. I really didn’t try hard enough.
Well, whatever.
I mean, that’s the last thing
I can think of to say.
My life wasn’t enough. The lives I wanted to affect around me, it wasn’t enough.
I never even had the chance....
Unless my memory is finally failing me....
Unless my hopes are finally failing me....
Unless my dreams are finally failing me....
Whatever. That’s all I can think of to say.
I guess.
The only thing left for me to do,
The only thing I can think of to write down on this paper,
At this point,
This point of spending my time
Desperately trying to do this for the pleasure of whoever is reading it,
Because I care about you,
Is to leave you with this
ETERNAL MESSAGE
OF HOPE AND LIFE
Treat it to yourself.
You deserve it. You deserve what it made you dream.
You deserve it, really and truly. I certainly hope you do. I certainly hope it comes true for you.
Unlike me.
Oh.
Everything I just wrote has never been enough.
Writing on a sheet of paper,
It is not enough.
It can only take me so far....
Then I realize everything I made
Was a waste of life.
It was really, really, really, really, really, REALLY JUST NOT ENOUGH.
....
....
....
....
..For..
...ME....
....
....
...
...
...
..
..
..
..
..
......
.
........................................................_________________________________________________
_______was never
_______ENOUGH
________for----
___ME_____________________________________________________
End....
The end was never close to being enough
I still feel......................
Unsatisfied........................
Em-
Empty........................
For now.....................
AT THIS/POINT/IN/TIME....................
At this point
In
My life....................
Thankfully,
I am
Not alone............
FOR NOW,
ANYWAY................
Who knows
About anything else.......
About any other time............
About anyone else.............
This time and effort
I don’t understand
Was it just wasted?
I can’t seem
To find it within myself
To feel satisfied with it,
Was it truly,
Still not enough?................
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
No,
It is not.
It never will be.
It never has been.
I should have known better.
I do not know what I was thinking,
Making it....
Nobody does.