21 levels of Self-Deception: THIRD EDITION by Tom Wallace - HTML preview

T W E N T Y - O N E L E V E L S

In an earlier chapter psychologist Erich Fromm’s suggestions for self-analysis were considered. I want to repeat the importance of this process here. It may seem somewhat self-indulgent to look inward at our own concerns, when there may be a great deal of need all around us. But, as Simon Parke reminds us in A Beautiful Life: ‘We hurt other by our unexamined suffering’. The real reasons for the way we react to other people and to circumstances are therefore deeply rooted in our own concerns. So the process of unravelling this is not wasted.

As Fromm suggests, it is often best simply to watch how we respond to things and circumstances — always trying to create space between what happens out in the world and our response to it in terms of emotions, speech and actions. We most of us live in our minds — anticipating future events and reflecting on past ones. If this process is a negative one — that is, if we fear for the future and regret the past — then we will continually give ourselves the emotional hit that such imagined events incur. Stepping back from this and realising that the past is gone and the future could turn out (and probably will turn out) differently from how we expect is going to be a good strategy. To live always in the present moment can be very worthwhile. However, it is not given to many of us to find this practice easy. The imagination allows us to respond creatively to the world and can embrace both the past and the future in more positive ways.

We often dislike someone for no obvious reason and we will more than likely respond to them

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