Santa Clause ambled through the squalid neighborhood of the Rain Gate projects in Baltimore carrying Christmas presents and whistling the tune to Jingle Bells. It was the night before Christmas and the Yule-tide air couldn't have been more crisp.
The Gadget Man ho-ho-hoed to himself when the voices reminded him what a naughty Santa Clause he was. The Santa Clause outfit he had on was surprisingly comfortable and kept him warm.
It was 1am and Rain Gate projects seemed to be deserted except for a few stray cats tipping over garbage cans. Vinny guessed that most of the Christmas lawn ornaments were probably stolen from upper class homes. Evidently the outdated Christmas lights the residents had wrapped around the stanchions on their porch were probably not stolen.
It was almost as if he had every right to be there as Vinny clambered up the steps of Tyrone's apartment and fished around in his furry pocket for his plastic loid. All the lights in the two story complex were out except for the soft glow of the Christmas tree in the living room. This was good, good, good.
As Vinny picked the lock without any difficulty a Christmas poem ruminated in his head. Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except for of course the notorious Gadget Man. "Ho- ho-ho..." He muttered under his breath. He gingerly stepped through the front door and looked around. It was eerily quiet except for the gurgling sound from the fish tank and a pricey 56" Sony television running a demo of a football video game in the next room.
Vinny pushed the start button on his wristwatch. In 5 minutes he would be in and out. He briskly walked over to the 7ft Christmas tree in the corner which was radiant and glowing. He almost laughed out loud when he saw the vent in the wall just 3" inches from the star mounted on the top of the pine tree. The chintzy blue light special Christmas lights wrapped around the tree was going to make his evil plan more plausible.
The Gadget Man wasted no time snooping around looking for cookies and milk. He placed the two presents on the ground under the tree and reached in his furry pocket and pulled out his leatherman pocket knife. Vinny used the pocket knife to cut tiny subtle slits manipulating the cheesy Christmas lights making them faulty. A further investigation might confirm cheap Christmas lights as the start of the fire.
After tweaking the wiring just a tad, but not too much to make it look intentional, Vinny popped the top of one of the presents he brought in. Inside the box was a towel and a sponge. He grabbed the sponge and sponged out all of the water underneath the tree in the water basin and squeezed the sponge over the carpet releasing water onto the carpet. It didn't matter. There wasn't too much water in the basin to extract. The red basin was mottled from deterioration and the circular bracket inside it supporting the trunk of the tree was rusty.
Vinny took the towel and wiped dry the inside of the basin. He looked at his wristwatch. One minute and 45 seconds had passed. Vinny swirled the towel around the trunk of the tree one last time until the inside of the basin appeared to be bone dry. He tossed the towel and sponge back into his box and replaced the top lid which had a red bow on top.
The Gadget Man looked up for a split second feeling almost as if someone was staring right at him. He jerked his head to the right and saw a big black man with a shaved head and a chin-strap beard staring right at him. A shiver ran down his spine but he took comfort in knowing the man leering at him could not hurt him. The trio in the family picture on the wall looked so incomplete to Vinny. Tyrone stood behind his mother and sister like a giant grizzly bear with a hand on each one of their shoulders.
The Gadget Man took a quick break to check out the fatherless photo. Even though ten years had elapsed, Vinny knew the big guy in the picture was Tyrone from the glazed look in his eyes. Jeez Tyrone, you're always getting stoned aren't you? Not a day that goes by that you don't get high. It's been that way since 7th grade hasn't it?
There was a bustling sound from upstairs and Vinny froze not moving an inch. He groped the 9mm in his Santa costume while a million thoughts entered his mind all at once. There was more clatter coming from upstairs but he was quickly relieved when he heard the sound of water running through pipes. No big deal. Probably just someone that drank too much eggnog using the bathroom. He looked at his watch and noticed that four minutes had passed. No way to make the five minute deadline. That was just too bad. He was definitely going to finish the job.
The Gadget Man started to feel sweat transpire on his chest and armpits from wearing the wooly Santa Clause suit. When it got quiet again Vinny immediately returned to his project. He plopped the top off of the other package and pulled out a bottle of pure grain alcohol. He wanted to use gasoline but gasoline could leave traces and this had to look like an accident.
He unscrewed the cap then poured the alcohol into the basin supporting the tree. This was outright genius. Christmas trees caught on fire all the time from faulty Christmas lights. This incident would get written off as an accident real quick.
Vinny emptied the entire bottle into the basin then threw the empty bottle back into the neatly wrapped box. Next he pulled out a candle that had a hole drilled into it near the bottom. Because Tyrone was such a pothead, there was already a lot of candles encompassing the living room. This was good, good, good. Nobody would notice the extra candle he planted on the window sill especially since he removed the one that was already there.
The Gadget Man pulled out a 12ft cord of toilet paper that had been meticulously twisted together making it look like a long piece of string. He bunched up the string of toilet paper and dropped it onto the basin submerging it in grain alcohol. He left one end in the basin and pulled out the other end of the string of toilet paper once more making it pointy and slid it into the hole drilled into the candle. The line fit in snugly and stayed in place.
Vinny put the lids back on top of the packages he brought in and hoisted the boxes up to waist level. He looked at his watch which told him 7 minutes had passed. He had already broken one of his rules but he knew that kooks who consistently abide in their own rules always ended up getting caught. Vinny lit the candle with a bic lighter he had in his pocket and then walked out the front door.
At approximately 7am Tyrone's apartment would go up in flames. Vinny knew this because he was the Gadget Man.