The inside of Vinny's truck was completely immaculate. He had spent most of the day cleaning everything Bridget would come in contact with even the bathroom toilet which took an extra long time.
Vinny kept both his hands on the steering wheel at the ten and two O'clock position while a miniature cowboy hat the size of a ping pong ball dangled from the rear view mirror. Bridget sat in the passenger's seat with her hands folded on her lap trying to think of something to say to break the eerie silence. She glanced at Vinny to try and read his emotions but he had on sunglasses and she couldn't pick up any vibes. A thought came to her mind.
“ I liked the painting above the sofa in the living room. What was that in the pirate ship's mouth? A giant tomato?” She asked to break the silence.
Vinny scratched his chin reflecting back on what he considered a masterpiece. “ Yes, my friend Bill from jail had autism but he really knew how to paint. Every day he tried to convince us that pirate ships eat tomatoes and we never knew what he was talking about. Then one day he came up with this beautiful painting and I insisted on purchasing it from him.”
Bridget just giggled. “ Well, it's very peculiar if I must say.”
Vinny noticed that Bridget had an Irish accent that he couldn't tell was real or just made up to sound cute. With her rosy cheeks and sandy blond hair all done up in a bun Vinny felt a sense of euphoria. Bridget wondered if maybe Vinny preferred wearing sunglasses to cover up that hideous eye patch. Maybe she would ask about the eye patch on the ride back.
“ You know I get a lot of weird people that come to see me.” She said watching his reaction but he remained quiet and watched the road. “ This one lady patient of mine has paranoia like you wouldn't believe. She's absolutely convinced that someone is trying to kidnap her children so she checks on them every hour all night long. The poor woman hardly gets any sleep. I could tell. She has dark bags under her eyes.”
Bridget looked at Vinny. He was clenching his shark teeth and looked perturbed. She went right on talking. “ Then there was this other guy convinced that every time he would see strangers laughing that they were laughing at him.”
Vinny pushed down on the gas pedal without even realizing it. He began a silent prayer to Jesus. Please Lord! Make this cute garrulous woman shut up before I start to lose it!
Bridget didn't seem to notice that they were gradually accelerating. She continued being quite the chatterbox. “Like, how could someone possibly believe that every time some stranger was laughing that they would be laughing at.....” Without warning Vinny clamped his huge hand onto that tender spot above her knee and squeezed with all his might.
“ Ouch!” Screamed Bridget trying to pry his hand off her knee. Once Vinny realized what he was doing he quickly released his hand. “I'm sorry.” He said playfully patting the side of her leg like it was an honest mistake.
“ What just happened?” She asked playing tough girl and holding back imminent tears.
“ It's just a condition I have,” Pleaded Vinny, “ I lose control over my body when I'm exposed to incessant chatter.”
Bridget tried to rub the bruise out of her knee while contemplating what to do. Reminiscing about what her mother had told her about early signs of abuse Bridget finally said, “I think you should take me back to my car.”
Vinny took the sunglasses off his head and looked at her with his big bulging imploring eye. “But it was an honest mistake. It won't happen again I swear! We've made it this far are you sure you want to go back?”
Bridget's gullibility was one of her biggest flaws. She stopped rubbing her leg and lightly massaged his shoulder. “ No it's okay. I shouldn't have been talking so much. Maybe next time you could just say something and I'll shut up?”
Vinny sighed in relief because he was willing to kidnap the Bridget Jones wannabe if he had to. “It's a deal.” He said with a cordial grin. It was going to be a spectacular evening. Bridget had just passed stage two, putting up with his abuse.