We had visited every possible temple in one week. Every pujari said some shani or the other had started, some guru had moved suddenly into my rasi and hence my life was hanging on the edge of despair. “Please do this pooja, that pooja every Saturday”. They would give a black cloth and some Prasad. I was sure that neither the cloth nor the Prasad could save me. My life was doomed.
One evening, as I came back home, tired from office, dad was sitting on the sofa - amused. I was surprised to see him happy. I stared at him for an answer.
“Mom and I went to the astrologer today. He said, in another week’s time, a guy will come to us – his house will be east-facing, working in some other city. He has been waiting to marry you for the past one year. The astrologer added that all we needed to do was to wait for him to come and ask us, and then say yes and proceed. There will be no issues. We can have the wedding in two months’ time. He will be your husband. That’s what he said. We are so happy for you!!”
I was stunned. “Dad, I need some more time. Please”
“What for? The astrologer said he would be the best match for you”
“Dad. Whoever it is, why all this hurry for marriage? I am not hunger, to be quenched with whatever food is available. Dad!! I am a human being. Please allow me to live with dignity”
“Darling, please allow your parents to die with dignity. We are not able to bear anything. Look what all of us have gone through. Already, a lot of people are waiting to put us down. If they come to know that your wedding is stopped, it would be a shame for us”
“What shame dad? Tell them the wedding was called off because the guy didn’t want the marriage”
“That’s so easy to say, you don’t know this world. I don’t want to live to see my daughter go through such horrors. Please. I beg you. Allow me to die in peace. Anyway, peace is already denied. Allow me to live at least for a few more years. My heart will burst if things go on like this”, and he started crying like a child, again.
I dropped the topic and rushed to the washroom. I had to cry my pain out. I wasn’t going to cry in the open.
Aravind gone, another guy comes, and I have to marry him. Now I can’t even open my mouth about dowry. Whatever the guy asks, dad is going to handover the money, because all he wants is to get me married – all he wants is to get rid of me – for the sake of a useless society!!
Simply because the society cannot accept if a woman’s wedding is called off!! To hell with an atrocious society. I wish I were a man. I wish my dad had never dicked my mom. I wish I had never popped out… I wish…..
I am going to be sold in broad daylight with heavy dowry, with no one available to raise a finger against these shameful acts.
A week passed. True to the astrologer’s words, the new bride came – Kannan Kumar – working for Infosys, Bangalore. After marriage, I had to move over to Bangalore. I initiated the transfer formalities with my manager. Well, I was left with no other choice. A woman has to leave everything and go behind her man like a dog. Do I have other options?
Kannan openly accepted that he was from a poor family, and that he was building a big independent duplex house in his native. 90% of his salary was going on house loan and personal loan. So, they asked my dad for a dowry of 10 lakhs. Dad accepted.
My jewels were to be ‘strictly’ kept in his native after marriage – dad accepted. (Who is he to decide where my parents put the jewels after the marriage? It’s their money, their gold. I had, in fact, intended to return it back to them after the wedding function. Apparently, many others had other plans)
He wanted my dad to gift him a car, a washing machine, LED TV, refrigerator, and other household accessories in Bangalore as part of the dowry, before the wedding. Well. He didn’t even request for them, he ordered for it. All the demands were agreed to.
What did the guy live on if he had nothing of his own? Bloody beggar! And I had the world’s stupidest father, who would do anything to wash his daughter off his hands. He was shamelessly selling her away. And that was all the society wants.
I had always wanted to marry a man who was capable of standing on his own feet, if he isn’t rich, it’s ok. He doesn’t have to be the most handsome, or the greatest of men. I only wanted a man, a real man, an honorable man – that was all I wanted in my life, and here was one, shamelessly begging my dad for money, oh, I am sorry! In societal terms, it’s not called begging. It’s his right!!! Mind it. A man has the right to plunder all the savings of his wife’s family, and that was exactly what was happening.
I felt let down. This was it!! Any possibility of rationality or decency ends here.