Pixel On The 4th Of July by Pete Bertino - HTML preview

EPILOGUE

VIC LAZENBY WAS ARRESTED FOR BANK FRAUD, WIRE

FRAUD AND MONEY LAUNDERING. THE CHARGES WERE

DROPPED WHEN HE AGREED TO HELP THE FEDERAL

GOVERNMENT AS A WITNESS AGAINST THE LETUZZI CRIME FAMILY AND WAS PLACED INTO WITNESS

PROTECTION

DOCTOR JOHANN COCKTOASTOVENSTEIN WAS GIVEN

A CITATION BY THE STATE AND A DONATION WAS

MADE BY THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT IN HIS NAME TO

PHILADELPHIA’S CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL FOR ONE

HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS AS A THANK YOU FOR

HIS WORK ON THE ISLAND AIDING IN FINDING THE

CAUSE OF THE SHARK ATTACKS.

MURRAY FEATHERSTONE WAS FIRED FROM THE

GAZETTE FOR ETHICS VIOLATIONS WHEN LEAKED

AUDIO FROM THE STATES SURVEILLANCE TAPES

REVEALED HE HAD BEEN PUTTING THE SQUASH ON

THE SHARK AND OTHER STORIES UNFAVORABLE TO

THE MAYOR. FEATHERSTONE IS NOW A POLITICAL

CORRESPONDENT FOR FOX NEWS.

80

JACK SACKEM, BOB THE BOT AND NOOBERT THE

HODGEPODGE STILL RESIDE IN THE CITY OF

PHILADELPHIA AND WERE NOT CHARGED WITH ANY

CRIME. THEY WERE ALSO GIVEN CITATIONS BY THE

STATE POLICE AND THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT FOR

EXCEPTIONAL PERFORMANCE AS STEWARDS OF THE

LAW DESPITE ATTEMPTS AT CORRUPTION BY THE

LOCAL GOVERNMENT.

IT IS A FEDERAL CRIME TO READ THIS SENTENCE.

IF YOU HAVE READ THE ABOVE SENTENCE, YOU MUST SURRENDER TO

THE NEAREST FEDERAL COURTHOUSE OR MAGISTRATE IMMEDIATELY. IF

YOU BELIEVE THIS CRIMINAL CHARGE IS AN ERROR, PLEASE ON THE

DOTTED LINE BELOW WRITE THE NAMES OF AT LEAST THREE

INDIVIDUALS MORE DESERVING OF A FEDERAL INDICTMENT. BELOW

THE DOTTED LINE WE HAVE PROVIDED A FOOD COUPON AS THANKS FOR

YOUR COOPERATION, THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT

THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT:PROTECTING YOU FROM YOURSELF FOR

OVER 2OO YEARS!

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