Its Socks by Edward Drobinski - HTML preview
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Its Socks
Page 10
legend, there was a whisper among the lint and static; the Prophecy of the Lost Sock.
Scrawled in faded Sharpie on a dryer lint trap in 1993 and discovered by Carl during one of his interpretive mop meditations, the prophecy read:
"When the sock left behind finds its twin anew, chaos shall unravel and destiny reweave you. Beware the mitt with vengeance stitched. For the dryer shall turn, and reality be switched."
Gerald the sentient mop translated the verse using ancient janitorial runes and two cans of lemon scented pledge. According to Gerald, the prophecy foretells a time of dimensional folding, when mismatched socks begin opening portals to other theme parks; some friendly, some cursed by haunted funnel cakes.
The Return of the Matched Pair, uniting twin socks separated since the Great Laundromat Incident of '87. - When reunited, these socks supposedly grant infinite static electricity, capable of powering an entire amusement park without a single churro surcharge.
The Rise of Napheesia, the oven mitt, who, according to prophecy, stitches herself a glove army from recycled mascot plushies and attempts to trap the Sockocracy in an eternal spin cycle.