Displaced Snippets of Bayonne by Edward Drobinski - HTML preview

Edward Drobinski

Copyright © 2018 by Edward Drobinski

All rights reserved

Copyright © 2018 by Edward M. Drobinski Well within the imagined constraints regarding the precise precision of impressiveness, all spurious and soon to be overstated rights are supposedly reserved as a result of the confines of the US law which provides a modicum of protection to writers; strongly encouraging plagiarism.

Though it invariably will be the case, this section is customarily mandated to say in sad futility that no part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means except those so authorized, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in the course of writing a review; limited to one of the laudatory type. Sincere thanks is extended to those who have allowed this time-saving boilerplate to be copied under a spurious CCO

license.

The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Comprende? In fact they are so obviously fictitious that any attempt to assert otherwise would have to be the mercenary ploy of some lazy, non-productive crook or crooks, counseled, aided, and abetted by an otherwise unemployed chiseler or chiselers, as yet un-dismissed from the less than diligent bar. Any fancied apparent similarity to real persons is not intended by the author insofar as the author can conjure every possible archetype and their subdivisions upon subdivisions upon subdivisions ....... and if thought to be detected is either a coincidence or the product of your own sick and troubled imagination; perhaps most practically suggestive of an intensification in treatment and dosage.

Where the names of real places, corporations, institutions, and public figures may be projected onto made up stuff, they are intended to denote only such said made up stuff, not anything presently real as of the time of this entirely conjectural and metaphorical writing.

I hope that you are one of those blessed with common sense, thereby being one who did not bother to read this obligatory absurdity.

Portions have previously appeared in the following; non-contentious Goodreads based blogs and threads, Horror Sleaze Trash (HST), and e-mails addressed to my mother.

Table of Contents

Preface Righteously in Your Yellow Corporate Smiley Face....... 1

#1- The Latest and Its Modest and Colorless Bang.............. 6

#2- Bayonne.................................................. 17

#3- My First Residence....................................... 25

#4- Watering Louie’s Customers............................... 29

#5- Writing- A Memoir Covering the Years from 2018 to 2018... 31

#6- Dad Teaches Me Some of the Important Stuff- The Card

Gambling Games................................................ 34

#7- Life Aspirations......................................... 37

#8- Bad Pizza................................................ 40

#9- More Bayonne as this is what this Book is Purported to be

About......................................................... 45

#10- Obligatory Sex Propoganda Emanating from Early 1960’s

Pubescence and James Bond Movies.............................. 47

#11- Mom and Dad’s Families................................... 56

#12- We Move Downtown......................................... 60

#13- S.A. Roberson A/K/A #7................................... 62

#14- Florence, the Chicken Jailbreak, and the Advent of “In Your

Face” Politics................................................ 63

#15- Barbara Bigpolski at the Wading Pool..................... 72

#16- Reality or Some Reasonable Approximation Thereof......... 74

#17- Moe in the Little League Toilet.......................... 77

#18- Bayonne June 1, 2017 as per “The New York Post”.......... 81

#19- Sounding; a Precursor to Rap............................. 84

#20- Bayonne’s Renaissance- A Mayor not in the Mob............ 87

#21- Arnold J. Friedman....................................... 91

#22- Senior Math.............................................. 93

#23- Prontnitski and Duprakowski............................. 104

#24- Alonzo.................................................. 108

#25- Tijo, Vincenzo, and the Orange 440...................... 113

#26- Kaporinski Whack in the Head............................ 118

#27- My Non-Life not on Goodreads............................ 122

#28- Bombers................................................. 129

#29- Bad Pizza Revisited..................................... 131

#30- The Beginnings of My Fabulous Writing Career............ 132

#31- Brooklyn John Gives the Rubes an Education.............. 134

#32- Respect................................................. 138

#33- Show and Tell, Scavone Re-runs, and the Necessity of Guns

and Knives................................................... 139

#34- The Time Dad Whacked Me................................. 141

#35- Back to Bayonne Stuff Again............................. 144

#36- Walmart Can-Can......................................... 145

#37- Trolling................................................ 149

#38- Bayonne High Literary Curriculum........................ 157

#39- Girl Talk............................................... 159

#40- A Bayonne Political Primer.............................. 160

#41- Timothy Leary........................................... 161

#42- Jeanie.................................................. 162

#43- My Murder............................................... 163

#44- Joanie, Joyce, and My Hanging........................... 165

#45- A Fish Story............................................ 171

#46- Going Down the Shore.................................... 172

#47- Joanie II, her Pals, and her Daddy...................... 174

#48- Right Place Wrong Time- Skip This as it fell out of Another

Stupid Book.................................................. 181

#49- Bayonne Hits Big Oil; then Lets It Slip Through Their

Governor’s Fingers........................................... 191

#50- Manhattan’s Specialty Bars.............................. 197

#51- My Future With Moe...................................... 198

#52- Loss.................................................... 200

#53- A Serious Ending? Not a Chance.......................... 203

Displaced Snippets of Bayonne Page 1

Preface Righteously in Your Yellow Corporate Smiley Face

Yeah; right in yo’ face. ........ I guess. Right in yo’

tummy, anyway. It’s difficult to tell in this advanced, removed, and almost simultaneously neutral and opinionated age lived in by those who pay a modicum of attention to media, some allegedly

“social.” No doubt some US based confusion emanates from the derived, Western European submission to an accepted, contagious, US Presidential position they would like to be viewed as surreptitiously antithetical to their interests. That being the proverbial farcical replay in modern clothing of an inverted act dating at least as far back as that chronicled in belated recognition of Machiavellian basics, lauded by the inconsequential devotees of passe, post-modern-types; ineffectively seeking to disdain that which is 18th century natural through their “new,” repetitive, and anti-commercial formula; ostensibly unaware of their periodically stated lust for mass popularity, seems worthy of an investigation into possible collusion with a foreign power. ......... Never mind.

Silly me. Only liberal Democrats are allowed to call for an investigation of the swamp.

The “powerful” accomplish the most minimal aspects of their goals through the use of only their affiliated “Politically

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Correct Police” approved acceptable language, thereby appearing as “nice” to the voting capable uninformed, most of whom have attended some college. In addition to this impressive accomplishment of their constituency, and on their positive side, the most used bumper sticker slogans of this “radical” end of this “exclusive’ contingent may well be the self-contradicting “Bigger is better” and “If you never heard of it, it has to be good.” At the very least these slogans generated by those most accomplished at sloganeering are the best of unintended sources of humor for the few cursed to be accidentally aware of their absurd prognostications. ...... Or maybe, their “sophisticated” joke is over my head.

Hmmnnn. The latter of the two catchy phrases is personally beneficial, so maybe it’s not all that retarded. .......

Apologies. I digress and I don’t even have a horse in this race.

Cable TV distributed “News” is not so much the commonly regarded villain called “fake news,” simply because it is neither fake nor is it news. The 24 hour news sources fill their allotted spaces with biased interpretations, biased opinions, and biased discussions provided by amenable, never-previously-heard-of-expert “guests” after having suffered through 15

minutes of the reporting of their carefully chosen events. They don’t seem to have a plethora of choices in the matter. But, you, the viewer or reader does; though the odds are against you,

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as the liberal, socialistic programs still dominate the airways, obscenely disproportional to their percentage of adherents.

The original Frankenstein monster was also fueled by electricity. The only questions became how long the battery can hold its charge and how long it took for the villagers to collectively destroy it.

Ummmnnnn. In yo’ face, this spurious guesstimation is not what this book is intended to be about, and probably isn’t. It is likely an accident, but this book merely manifested as one result of long put off writer apathy and ersatz embarrassment; one request for a “memoir,” likely a “polite” throwaway; a dream suggestive of an incorrect recollection of what happened a half century ago; a ‘New Age” defiant disinterest, the NA’s a self-serving and calculated, contrary antithesis of another late-stage-hippie-misinterpretation, this one the deification of self, personally and partially learned through the pain abatement experienced by focusing on someone else rather than the overuse of an eternally renewable Xanax prescription; another fucked up journey through a fucked up place, resultant in writer’s block married to both a desire for easy money and a participatory disinclination. Yadda fucking yadda. You fill in your own blanks.

One might suggest that this is basically an observation of a question of coincidence with an analogy, hopefully and

Displaced Snippets of Bayonne Page 4

mercifully incorrect at least in its implied interpretation, such as that gleaned from an auto’s gear box. In the likely realm of Godard’s “Alphaville,” no longer particularly enthralled with the currently fashionable egalitarian and skill irrelevant postures, all is not art. Hierarchies of power or money, whether based upon birth, diligence, abilities, or the result of any other measuring device, are by definition unfairly fascist.

It seems to be the right time to warn you Amazon preview readers just in case. Hehe. That’s supposedly a joke, in that it is devoid of mis-communication and/or chrome injury, it was not a precursor of what is to come. The aforementioned has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of this book, especially if one is still an adherent of the Millennial doctrinaire revision which completely ignores any notion of a past.

Be warned. You may prefer a “New Age” yoga book; or maybe mail order yoga pants provided by NYSE bursting LuLuLemon.

Please do your own thing, as that is best for all other than Charles Manson, and I really do not care. The apparent reverse is much more likely to be a socially acceptable, conversation stultifying, Oprah book of the month as it is a better rallying cry in being “outrageous” to your nerd high school teacher, a safe and fashionably, “provocative” delineation of your “unique”

cunt. A few decades ago David Foster Wallace articulated the

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tiny phrase “petty rebellion.” And he did it right on marginally mainstream TV. No lie.

Is a “fuck you” much too kind? I so crave the income attendant to a NY Times Top 10 level of sales.

Footnote #1. Please be advised that from this point on the writer has chosen to depart from one version of a proper manner of speech. Hereafter, he will revert to the improper manners of phrasing heard at his beginnings. I think that he just feels like doing that, though some confused people have accused him of having ulterior motives. End of Footnote #1.

Displaced Snippets of Bayonne Page 6

#1- The Latest and Its Modest and Colorless Bang Is it rude to be contemptuous of and uncomfortable with the

“required,” dumbed down condescensions to a “dumbed down”

reading public, as that is seen by the mavens cranking out a low income in the literary world? ........ Who really cares?

One of my earliest memories is of the late afternoon when my Uncle Chesty exploded our television. Despite the lack of injuries, it was a precursor of inept terrorism, and was actually much bigger of a deal at the time than it would have been in the bombarded 21st century. Comparisons are problematic, not only because this would be impossible to do now utilizing state-of-the-art equipment.

He was crouched at the back of the four legged floor model when I entered the room. I heard a faint noise much like that one usually doesn’t detect when a particularly vociferous lightbulb blows and then saw a spiraling urn of thick black smoke playing on top of the TV. As it dissipated Uncle Chesty rose with a blackened face; his white bulged eyes saying something like; “Oh boy. Am I still alive?”

Having had the advantage of being a five year old who had already read a few books, I sensed that this was one of those tragic Hamletian times not designed for conversation. An

Displaced Snippets of Bayonne