2.
She was terrified two years ago when Dee had come into her office and showed her that video. They had never met before but somehow Dee had been able to pull some strings to make an arrangement to meet her.
Rachel was quite confused that day when she received that phone call from Tom. He had been one of her favorite actors as a teenager, an A-list star. She didn’t even know how he had got her number.
She didn’t quite get why he was calling her, he didn’t seem to know too many details either but he guaranteed her that Dee was a nice girl, someone that could be trusted and that wasn’t just looking for autographs, fame and publicity. He had said that she had claimed she couldn’t give him any more details because it was a private matter. Rachel couldn’t imagine what it could be since she had never met the girl. However, since Tom insisted that these kind of favors weren’t something that she would usually ask for and that she was someone that he knew very well and had completely trust in, she agreed. To be perfectly honest after the whole description she had got from Tom, she was actually pretty excited to meet this person.
They arranged the meeting for a couple days later. Dee was flying from Portugal, especially to meet her. She arrived at the London studio set ten minutes before the time arranged. Rachel was a singer and a guest start on a TV show. She had said she should be done around 7 p.m.
Dianas’s hands were sweaty, she had been nervous from the beginning but now that she was so close it was becoming unbearable. After she’d seen it she knew right away she had to do something. Even though she had never met Rachel in person she had always liked her on TV. She seemed nice and down to earth, plus Diana couldn’t avoid feeling some compassion when she thought how hard it had to be to live through all those breakup details and other rumors in the public eye.
She approached the security guard – “Hello. My name is Diana. I’m here to see Rachel.” “Can I have an ID please?”
Dee handed it to him. He made a quick phone call, handed her over a «Visitor card» and opened the gate – “Go straight ahead, it’s the big building on the right, you can’t miss it.”
“Thank you” – she clamped the card in her shirt and kept going. The sky was dark grey and a little rain started to fall.
The building was easy to find, just like the security guard had told her.
She got inside and talked to another security guard. He called a young girl that was down the hall, Holly. Holly was a pretty girl, with long blond hair and green eyes.
“Hello there” - she had a gentle smile and knew Rachel was waiting for her – “We’re running late, everything is a little bit hectic today.”
“It’s okay” – actually she just wanted to get that over with – “I don’t mind waiting.”
Holly took her to a back room office turned into a lounge area, with blue and white walls, a few tables and a full catering service. The place was very appealing.
“Help yourself with whatever you want. I already notified Rachel that you’ve arrived. She’ll meet you here as soon as she’s done.”
Diana smiled.
“I have to get back now. I’ll be two rooms down the hall if you need anything, okay?"
Diana smiled. She wanted to be nicer, but she had butterflies in her stomach and it was getting harder to control.
Holly walked away. She closed the door behind her and the room got completely quiet, too quiet. Diana could hear her own thoughts running through her mind. She sat down and waited for a while. She was really tempted to turn around and runaway.
A couple of times she heard steps close to the door. She waited in anticipation but the door never opened. She couldn’t stay still so she went to the back of the room to look out of the window. The place was very busy with actors, cars, and trucks coming and going all the time. She actually managed to distract herself a little bit watching people running around on the block and when the door opened 45 minutes later she was taken by surprise.
Two guys and two women walked in first talking and laughing followed by a few crew members. She spotted Rachel right away. With her brown chocolate hair touching her shoulders, an elegant orange mini dress and her so characteristic smile she didn’t even realized someone else was in the room. When she finally noticed Diana was there she waved and started walking towards her. Diana waved back with a nervous smile. There was no turning back now. She took a deep breath. This was not a conversation she wanted to have.
“Hi” – said Rachel hugging her – “I’m Rachel.”
She was even prettier in person.
“Hi” – she said smiling. Probably the first genuine smile she had pulled off the whole day.
“Diana, right?” – Rachel asked.
“Actually, it’s pronounced Deanna” – she corrected her. Rachel gave her an apologetic look.
“It’s okay, you’re not the first“ – she said nicely – “Just call me Dee.”
“Okay Dee. Were you waiting for too long? I never thought this would take so long and we weren’t even able to finish…”
“Oh that’s no problem, really. Thanks for seeing me anyway. I know the whole situation seems a little bit weird.”
“Well, to be honest in the beginning I thought it was an odd request, but after all Tom said about you I’m just curious” – she said excited.
“Oh…” - Dee sighed. Like it wouldn’t be hard enough to give her the news. Now she had good expectations about the meeting.
“Really, he only said good things about you” – Rachel continued – “You have a big fan there. He said I would like you for sure, and I think I will. Don’t know why but there’s something about you.”
Dee looked at her again. Probably the last smile she would get from her. She knew it would be hard, but she was hoping that if Rachel wouldn’t be that nice it wouldn’t be so difficult. Now there she was and she was even sweeter than she imagined.
“I’m afraid you’ll probably change your mind by the time I leave today.” – she said finally.
“Why is that?” – Rachel was now confused. She could hear the other people in the room. “Can we go somewhere private?” – Dee asked.
“It’s okay. Everybody is trust worthy here plus they won’t hear us back here anyway…”
“Please” – Dee interrupted – “I insist. I don’t mean to be demanding or anything” – she hurried to clarify – “You’ll get it, I’ll explain everything, but can we please go somewhere else?”
Rachel looked her in the eyes. Her deep, gentle blue eyes. She didn’t seem demanding at all. In fact she looked terrified, like she would rather be anywhere else but there. She kept snapping her fingers and Rachel noticed now that she was biting her lower lip. She looked young, Rachel wondered how old she was. She seemed so vulnerable and yet so determined. She was obviously uncomfortable, but apart from that Rachel couldn’t get anything else out of her.
Rachel grabbed her hand softly – “Okay honey, no problem. Let’s go.”
They moved to a smaller room. It was some kind of an office. It was a messy place, with a desk, a couple of chairs and a bunch of papers spread around everywhere. It couldn’t be more different from the elegant lounge room where they were just a few seconds before.
“Sorry about the mess, but it’s probably the only room not being used today.”
“This is fine.”
Rachel pulled the chairs closer – “Have a seat.” “Thank you” – she mumbled.
“I’m sorry but… are you okay?” – Rachel asked worried.
Dee took a second before she answered. This was it, she had reviewed the whole scene in her head a thousand times. She wanted to use the right words. She wanted to be as brief and direct as possible, but now it was all faded in her mind.
“Yes. I’m sorry, yes” – she looked at her. No matter how difficult it would be she had to look at her, these would be hard words to take, and she would need to feel empathy – “Well Rachel, first thing I want to tell you is that even though I’ve thought a lot about this before I even called Tom I’m still not sure I’m doing the right thing.”
“It’s okay, go on.” – Rachel said comprehensively.
“In the end I had to go with what I think I would want if I was to be in the same situation and that’s what brings me here today.”
Rachel nodded.
“I’m about to tell you something and…” - Dee paused – “I know there’s a big chance of by the end of it you tell me I should mind my on business, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take. I truly apologize if you’d rather not know. I don’t mean to hurt you I just…”
“Can you please just tell me” – she wasn’t being rude or anything, but she was getting apprehensive – “I’m sorry, but this anticipation is killing me.”
“Of course, I’m sorry. Well this is what happened.”
Then Dee told her how she was hanging out one night with her friends back in Portugal and she was approached by this couple.
She pulled out her camera and told Rachel – “I know this is going to hurt, but I really thought you should know” – she handled her the camera and let her watch. Dee didn’t need to, the whole scene was still very clear in her mind.
She had stepped away from her friends just a little to record something and this guy bumped into her and started rambling. His face looked familiar but she couldn’t tell why right away. He took her camera off her hands and started to film himself and the girl that was with him. They were both drunk, laughing hysterically, making no sense and kissing while filming themselves with her camera. Dee tried to talk to them he was hysterical and the girl was just a mess. She could barely stand on her feet and he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. She watched them babbling some more. It wasn’t until he mentioned something about a concert that she realized who he was.
“Aren’t you Chase?”
He was a drummer from a famous British band.
“Yes” – he screamed – “Do you want an autograph?” – he said proudly getting ready to sign.
She ignored the question – “Aren’t you married?”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have fun, right?” – he said with the cockiest smile.
“I’m sorry to insist but… didn’t your wife just take you back after you cheated on her?” – she remembered hearing something about it on the news, it had made every tabloid.
“C’mon don’t be so uptight. Do you want to join us?”
She looked at him disgusted – “You should be ashamed of yourself… I mean, why? You have a gorgeous wife at home. Don’t you love her?”
“Sure I do, but why be content with one thing if can have variety?”
She tried to get something out but she had no words. How could someone be so self-centered? How could someone claim
to love someone and just act like that? – “Give me back my camera” – she said firmly – “I won’t ask again.”
And that was it.
Rachel didn’t move for what seemed to Dee like an eternity. She didn’t say anything, her eyes were wet but she didn’t shed a tear, she didn’t even seem to be blinking. Dee tried to give her some time. She knew it had to be hard not only to see that, but to get it from some person she didn’t even know.
She reached for her hand and finally said – “Rachel, I really didn’t mean to hurt you, but I thought I should give you a heads up before some reporter finds out… I’m really sorry…”
“How much?” – Rachel interrupted her quietly, almost whispering.
“What did you just say?” – Dee thought she had misunderstood.
“How much do you want for it? To be quiet.” – she repeated looking back at her for the first time since she was handed the camera.
Dee could see in her eyes that she was devastated. All the joy that she emanated before was now completely gone. She didn’t seem angry or mad, she was just a broken hearted girl.
“You can have it. I didn’t come here looking for money – she said quietly. She almost got offended with that assumption. Rachel had probably had bad experiences before and was just trying to be practical.
“Just say it okay. Just say a number and it’s yours.”
She was trying to keep herself together, but Dee had a feeling she would break apart at any moment.
“I really don’t want your money. Here,” – she took the memory card of the camera and gave it to Rachel – “it’s the only copy. You can keep it, destroy it, I don’t care.”
“So what do you want? Please just tell me I’m not in the mood for this” – she said exhausted – “why did you even bother to come all the way here?”
“I just wanted to let you know. It didn’t seem fair to me that he was doing that to you.”
“You don’t even know me…”
“It doesn’t matter. No one deserves being treated like that. Plus, like I said, these sort of things tend to come public sooner or later. I mean, I know it doesn’t fix it, but I thought it would somehow make it a little easier if you knew it before it blew up on the news.”
“Right, you’re just this wonderful girl that came here with no second intentions just wanting to reach out to a total stranger” – she said incredulously.
“Is that so hard to believe?” – But Dee knew it was. The woman had just being cheated by her husband how could she even consider trusting a stranger?
“Well, thanks a lot for helping me. Now just go away before you have the urge to do something else for me” – she said sharply while the first tear finally left her eyes.
Dee tried not to take it too personal. Rachel was devastated and the truth is that Dee was the immediate cause for it. She could see her falling apart. She wanted to reach out for her, hug her, tell her that she would be okay, but when she tried to move closer Rachel leaned back – “Go away!”
Dee walked away. She closed the door, and let her body slip until it reached the floor. She could barely hold back her own tears. She could hear people talking and laughing across the room. She pulled a paper and a pen out of her bag and wrote the first thing it came to her mind
Rachel, I’m sorry if I came here and messed up your life. I wasn’t trying to be mean. I truly believed I was doing the right thing. I know I don’t know anything about you, but you deserve better. You’re gorgeous, sweet, and seem to have a great heart. Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve.
Truly, Dee
She passed it under the door and walked away without looking back.