When I wake up every morning and I
just reach over for you,
When I see you aren't there I remember
what we used to do.
All the fond memories flood in when I
look and scream at the sky,
That was the route you took when you
left me here to mourn and cry.
Many questions are left unanswered
but I keep asking all the time,
Why were you taken away so early and
what did I do wrong this time?
Life was treating us well and finally we
were enjoying our time,
We had completed every wish of our life
and we tried marking our time.
As I dwell here in loneliness I am
longing to be with you again,
The stream of thoughts that flow so
rapidly make me live again.
A warm and lovely feeling spreads
through like the sun on my face,
I begin to feel much lighter in my body
and the soul floats in the space.
I now lay here and wonder what my
future living could be,
I cannot touch you anymore and surely
would not be able to see.
I'll only feel your hand on mine with
warmth spread to my fingers,
Then I'll laugh and smile when the
feeling of love still lingers.
All the memories of your warm touch
are so fresh to let me know,
That I am not alone here because your
soul is making me glow.
When on all those wintery nights I long
to get your loving touch,
I get so disheartened that I no longer
want to live here as such.
I want to come to you to show you that
I still have that love,
To let you feel that I still have the
memories we always spoke of.
As all our children grow and learn, they
will accomplish new things,
I want to feel your joy and all the loving
warmth that it brings.
All my fond memories of our living are
with me and getting better,
When all those memories haunt me I
feel like writing a letter.
Rotation of this earth stops and the sky
bows down whenever I see your face,
Let me in your life again to conquer my
loneliness and meet you in the space.
I know you are watching and listening
so I want you to help me learn,
How to live on this earth alone without
you and never to yearn.
I'm living without you and feeling your
warm touch for the last three years,
I meet you in my dreams and feel the
joy that we shared for fifty five years.
You will always be with me this is what
I have come to firmly believe,
When I'm tired of waiting for you I want
you to be ready to receive.
I will keep looking up to see you appear
in the skies to make my move,
To leave this wretched earth and join
you for good and continue our love.
Then I will feel the pleasure again when
you and I are near,
We will no longer be far away from each
other but live together there.
Many of my people are telling me to
move on with my life,
They say the time has come not to
create any more emotional strife.
They know not and have not lost an
Angel, who was precious and godly,
It's hard to understand for my feelings
and memories I treasure so fondly.
She was, is and will be my hearty friend
as dear as the shinning sun,
We will never be separated from each
other when our souls are one.
I often visit the river where we put the
ashes with her worthy name,
I place a pretty lotus from my pond in
the river and sing her fame.
As I walk back to my Saroj Niwas a
peaceful white dove flies overhead,
It flips its wings as if to say your Pretty
Lotus is alive and not dead.
Then I stare at the stars in the sky
wondering which one is she,
I am able to recognize the image of my
soul that resembles me.
I now sit by the window of our bedroom
watching the rain so cold,
This is the lament of a lover who
remembers all the stories she told.
She tells me 'hold on, be strong to live
your life and do your things,
I've reached salvation in heaven, live
with the joy that your dream brings.
In all my songs I still hear that sweet
voice that was my chant for ages,
I can see and smell the flowers that
were my offerings to the sages.
Her bed space is empty and it's her
fond memory that comforts me,
Missing her is like a rollercoaster ride
that always bewilders and hurts me.
Hold on tightly old man and try to be
strong and bold to live peacefully,
Live your life as she wanted you to and
do all your things joyfully.
Handsome is he who handsome does
that was her wise words for you,
“I will live well with your dreams,” that
was your promise to her by you.
If this is the lament of a lover then what
was the joy of living with her,
Lament not the passing away of the
Angel and keep living with her.
Go sleep well from tonight thinking that
she is there by your side,
Twice passionate, four times
determined, more organized as your
guide.
