CHAPTER 39
(Luring Back Spencer Into The Home Grown Conspiracy) "According To Your Book"
November 7th, 2018
As an author I know one trick to getting on somebody's good side is to show an interest in their work. I myself of course am an author and have also made strides towards an acting career. After I quit my job in July of 2018 I did what I usually do in between jobs. I start to watch every penny. Spencer has already taken a lot of my calls and emails and has plenty of tid bit information about why I quit. I know that he is well known throughout the nation and has quite a lot of experience handling UC cases. He has been on many talk shows and I believe also being a part of a television series. I have already purchased his online novella titled "Beat The Boss". It is very rare that I finish books quickly and when I do it's usually because I'm highly intrigued. The book is mostly a collection of short stories but as a gambler you can bet your bottom dollar I thoroughly enjoyed the gambling story between two coworkers that led to a job separation. I know because I have already utilized so much of his time free of charge it would be in my best interest at this point to try and hire him and see if he's willing to handle the UC case.
I've already won my civil case and now I'm hoping to go 2 for 2 and win my retroactive UC claims as well. Unfortunately I realize I am facing one big problem. The settlement amount.
Wouldn't Spencer be upset if I refused to discuss my "Hush Money Funds"?
And so I came up with a brilliant idea of how to make a solid attempt at bringing Spencer back on board. Why not see if I could just have Celadon removed from the hearing altogether? Had I not already been promised a job at Big G Express prior to quitting and had proof of date and time stamped applications?
I had quit the job July 12th but the termination letter I had from the next job refusing to hire me was dated July 15th. That was the very same day I had filed for UC benefits. So why did the hearing then really have to involve Celadon if Big G Express was in actuality the company that had Rained on my parade?
Did not UC law 402b clearly state "If let go due to no fault of your own?" Had I even picked up a single load for Big G?
Would not all the application filling out work I did count as performing work for the company?
Inching my way up to a forty year old man I have already figured out that it is very difficult for me to grasp people's attention these days. Especially because I have been single for many years and don't socialize with strangers very well. I know if I want to get Spencer's attention I had better come up with a good subject line to grasp his attention as he most likely receives thousands of emails a day possibly from other clients. I know just how to get him to click on my email explaining how we can circumvent having to discuss the hush money in the UC hearing. I make the subject line all caps before I hit send.
"ACCORDING TO YOUR BOOK"
A FEW HOURS LATER
(Bob meets Laura. Laura meets Bob. Is there really a Laura? Is there really a Bob?)
I'm excited to be live on the phone with Spencer. I wish I could tell him about doubling down in September but I have no intentions of violating the "Hush Money Laws". But am I excluded from innuendo? Of course not. I'm professional at what I do and I've learned throughout life there's loopholes in pretty much everything these days.
Spencer gets straight to the point. "Blake what's going on?" "Oh hey Spencer I see you got my email?" "Yeah. When is your appeal hearing date?"
"I don't know. I told them I couldn't make the September UC hearing because that was my civil hearing date. I've just been sitting here waiting forever for my new appeal hearing date."
"Well did you want me to call them? I can do a three way call right now."
I chuckled. "Spencer...I'm on my half hour lunch break. Any time you call into unemployment they purposely make you wait the official 45 minutes."
"Not with me they don't. I can get them on the phone right now if you'd like."
I chuckled again. "Sure. If you think you can reach them go for it but I can't talk long."
"Don't hang up just hold tight. I'm gonna three way this call."
I barely even heard one phone ring and the Unemployment office picked up the phone.
It was a woman. I recognized her voice immediately. It was the manager Sarah. I was 100% certain about it. Sarah was the one that hung up the phone on me over the summer when I politely asked if she could provide data support proving that an initial decision was supposed to take as long as it did. During the phone call she claimed the initial UC decision had just been mailed. I knew that was a load of bull. Had I not waited my 45 minute phone call I'm quite certain the UC agency would keep me in purgatory. Keep in mind I'm the same Federal funny man that had to run around balls ass naked on floor 7 South (The Psych floor) just to get the Feds to give me an official sentencing date. Concerning Federal case #59017-066 my constitutional rights had been violated in EVERY WAY. No speedy trial like the others. Heck, I didn't even get a phone call upon my Federal arrest in 2005. The East Cocalico police were sure to state "that I wasn't a problem in the area" and I think one of them was kind enough to read me my Miranda. But as for my treatment with the Feds? They left me so dehydrated Dr. Herbal from Butner NC said another hour and I would have been dead for sure. My urine had become darker than apple cider and I was in a wheel chair for two weeks to recover from my dehydration episode in Philly until I could get my strength back to walk. I had lost so much strength from the dehydration in August of 2005 that even my speech was lost and I struggled to have a phone conversation with my Pop Pop. Dr. Herbal wrote up a wonderful report assuming I was suing FDC Philadelphia but sadly I had to inform him I was under the care of a public pretender half my size that loathed me because he felt I had an unusual obsession over my dong.
Before I could say "Hello Sarah" Spencer dictated the conversation. I made sure not to speak unless spoken to.
"Hello I have a client on the line who is this?"
The UC manager chuckled. "This is Laura how may I help you?"
I was utterly confused. Laura? Did Sarah just tell Spencer that her name was Laura? And what was the chuckle all about?
Spencer told her that I was still waiting for my decision.
"Alleged" Laura replied. "It was mailed September 18th didn't you receive it in the mail?"
Oh shit I thought to myself as I tried to delve deep into my mind something that had come in the mail from them that I had missed. I suddenly recalled coming home from Indiana after driving 1300 miles and still being frustrated that Mr. Paul had used a corporate attorney to worm his way off of my defendant list. Is that why this woman sounding exactly like Sarah was calling herself Laura? Had she snooped around my civil case to learn I had at one point listed "Laura" as a second defendant whom was in fact Mr. Paul's manager? Was Sarah playing into my psychological civil fantasy that had been bought off?
I hemmed and hawed before I replied but was certain not to tell any falsehoods. Spencer had that same gift with words to tell truth but be careful not to provide too much information. I was impressed by how he was able to keep "Laura" from digging too far into his credentials. She had originally asked if he was an attorney but before he could reply she simply asked if he was "practicing". He does in fact have a Juris Doctor degree and has been practicing for over twenty years I think. He had stated that he's "Practicing" but was sure not to state being an attorney. My very first time in a UC hearing was way back in 2003 for a terminated employee named "Mike". He was a very good employee and my boss had fired him for giving me a t- shirt that was already free to begin with and was going to go to me anyway except my boss wanted to be the one to give me the promotional t-shirt. Mike had a really good friend that was savvy to law but nowheres close to having any credentials in law of any sort. His buddy cross examined me and Mike won his UC appeal. I was very impressed at how Mike's friend was so professional yet lacked any lawyer type credentials and was only a regular Joe Smoe. Because I didn't technically witness Mike get handed the t-shirt from the vendor as the transaction happened outside it was big points with Mike for the referee. Mike was a very good loyal worker and my boss had simply gotten a hair up his butt over something incredibly silly. Mike then went and joined the ARMY and I'm sure he ended up doing fine.
As I thought about "Laura's" yes or no question I made sure not to reply "yes" or "no".
"Geez I sure get a lot of mail...I ummm.."
My phone line went dead. Somebody had hung up the phone on me.
There was still one huge problem however. Mr. Spencer had done all this work probono. He still didn't have my credit card number. Not only did he not have my credit card number but I had utilized a heck of a lot of his time as it was now the first week of November and I had quit the job nearly two months ago. But how was the delay on pay my fault? The Unemployment agency was now sitting on quite a stockpile of my money!
Sure enough two minutes later my phone rang. I knew exactly what had just happened earlier. Spencer had no interest in a case that was destined for a big loss. Evidently there must have been some kind of forms or something I was to fill out in that letter that I NEVER opened. But how was I supposed to know that if I never opened the letter? If the UC agency has been denying my UC claims for the past four years isn't it kind of common sense that there was bad news in that letter and not even worth my time opening? Wasn't I at the time traumatized enough at the removal of Mr. Paul from my defendant list?
Did I need to open a letter that arrived that quickly before I had gotten home? If they owe all these retroactive payments would they be mailing me shit so soon? If the letter was good news wouldn't it only be one page and a whole lot thinner? Do these people think I'm so stupid? Hadn't I already told Sarah before she hung up the phone on me back in AUGUST that it was common sense that the initial decision was bad because they dilly dallied with it?
I picked up the phone. My caller ID told me who it was. "Oh hey Spencer."
"Do you know why I hung up the phone on you?"
"I'm guessing there was something important in that letter."
Spencer continued. "Please just please! Anytime you admit to something like that YOU LOSE!"
I stifled my chuckles. Does Spencer know I've already gotten an exorbitant amount of work out of him free of charge? Why is he yelling? Why is he all upset?
"Spencer....I I don't think you quite understand. I wasn't lying.
I never OPENED the letter. Why do they care so much about a letter? Did it come certified mail?"
"That doesn't matter to them. She's gonna say this then it's going to go there."
I calmed down. This was all getting very weird to me. Has anybody ever lost a UC hearing on such a small frivolous technicality? What was so important inside of that letter? Had I not gotten the "RTS" (Return To Sender) idea from all of "MY" outgoing snail mail getting sent back to me?
Images of that imaginary beach ball from when Spencer had helped me back in 2013 started to flow through my mind. This really sucked for me right now. Hiring Spencer at this point was like putting it all on a 30-1 wager payoff at a craps table. $300 bucks was still $300 I had managed to keep it in my pocket since I quit in July. But what really could I do at this point?
What about that golden rule "Do unto others as you would have them Do unto you." I couldn't help but wonder as I already knew beforehand that Mr. Spencer offers free consultation. I had easily at this point hogged up $300.00 of his time alone at this point so not offering up my debit card number would only make me look like an ass.
I did the right thing and reached into my wallet and plucked out my debit card. It was going to be one hell of a roll of the dice hiring this man but I knew he was in fact the best of the best. I like the idea of twenty years of experience. Mr. Paul had managed to escape from my defendant list in a blink of an eye so maybe it was time I take a page out of Mr . Paul's book and let the attorneys do what it is they get paid to do . Perhaps it's most wise of me to sit back just as Mr. Paul did.
I was going to get one last friendly tap on the shoulder of Paul even if it had costed me money to do so. I knew if the timing was just right somebody in there with some decency could do me a solid by interrupting his lunch break just one more time! I knew after spending $295.00 to hire Spencer today I wasn't going to get my triple decker sand which from Wendy's today.