i am not ok, you are not ok PERIOD
Prelude:
For a long time i’ve been dealing with depression. It’s a harsh disease that effects everything in your everyday life. You can be in your happiest moments in life then your mind cracks with the worst thoughts.
Depression has you so weak, so vulnerable, and lost. You feel like even when you’re in a room full of family, friends, and loved ones that you’re alone. Wanting to be loved or getting attention makes you feel like a burden. Everything you do never feels like it’l be good enough. You hate to be alone. Screaming for someone to reach out and help you, but hide it with a smile. Never really want to share your problems, your sadness cause you feel as no one cares. You push away people unintentional y and cripple yourself more.
You feel as though you’re a child trapped in a dark room crying but no one is there, no one can hear you. A deep rift in the heart that fills with tears every night. You feel as though you’re a burden to life itself. You’re never wanting to open yourself up and let people get close cause you feel as though you’re just gonna create more sadness around them, let alone yourself. You make up excuses of going out and being around people to only sit there and cry in your home. Depression is a real y bad place to be, always keep someone close who can help you. Don M. November 26 at 11:12pm
In 1957, Saunders wrote the line, " Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.
11/29/1960 6:00:00 am Rule One: There are rules to this.
11/29/1960 6:00:01 am Rule two: See rule one.
06/11/2011 3:59PM
I need a ghost writer....
Charlie V
Ok, how can i help?
Thomas Steven:
Buckle up:
Million Dollar Book Idea.....An average aging American middle aged man goes nuts, gets fed up with all the BS
of the typical 9-5....yadda, yadda, yadda. Applies & goes on disability.....all seem well and that life is going to be smooth sailing. Life is going to be well and no worries. But the Social Security Administration makes a mistake in the decision process. They confuse his name against a entry mistake in the national database of all people who has had a mental illness. Then they reject his claim.....Dear Mr. so & so, We regret to inform you that a mistake was made during your application process the we regret to say......the guy then just starts to go even crazier, even tho the underlying problem....he really is.
Charlie V
Omg thats an awesome idea yet somehow I worry that there is truth in there...are you okay?
Doesn't social security have an appeal process?
Thomas Steven:
Oh hell yeah I am ok,,,,,life is good.
....they do but don't need it
Charlie V
Well then lets write the book and make the royalties flow in....
Thomas Steven:
....ok
Can I borrow some paper & a pen?
Charlie V
Lol...sure...I'll bring that right over....or you come here and work on it.
I'll stay here for now. That damn squirrel would break my thought process...
Charlie V
Lmao. ..
I can relate to that!
01/13/2016 12:09AM
Thomas Steven:
Wades package should arrive Thursday
Charlie V
Awesome....I will unlock his cage and let him out so he can enjoy it....
Thomas Steven:
01/13/2016 5:07PM
Charlie V
Wade's package arrived. ...i want to open it....lol
Thomas Steven:
Nope, it is for Wade, sorry.
01/13/2016 8:14PM
Charlie V "Gives Thumbs up"
01/13/2016 9:30PM
Thomas Steven:
That's it? A thumbs up?
Charlie V
Thomas Steven:
.....not much but I hope he likes it.
Charlie V
He loves it!
Thomas Steven:
Right backat cha
lol
Charlie V
Lmao....well played
Thomas Steven:
....and now back to writin that novel,,,lol
////we luv Wade
Charlie V
Lol....plot, research, write
Thomas Steven:
Thomas Steven:
ah shit, I already said that...lol
Thomas Steven:
///just wait til his next package....lol
04/25/2016 1:14AM
Thomas Steven:
Million Dollar Idea..........
06/24/2016 11:21PM
Thomas Steven:
Really sad the NASCAR tickets for Sonoma did not get delivered, Tell your bosses to do better next year. Ryleigh
was so excited to come see you,,,,,poor RyJayne.....
Charlie V
Tickets are at the front desk with your name on them. .
Fyi, i have a 21 and over rule
Thomas Steven:
Damn
Oh, She is smarter than both me & Wade
Charlie V
Seriously we have tickets.
General admission and 2 hour visit in traffic but we have tickets
Lol...no doubt she is smart and a cutie...loved the swimming pics a few days ago
Thomas Steven:
Yeah, that was a fun day.
are you coming home this summer?
Charlie V
Probably not till Christmas with Grant
Thomas Steven:
gonna miss the wine tour...
Charlie V
I know...hate that I have cant get back sooner ...i leave in a few hours to go see Grant and the kiddos Thomas Steven:
yeah, that's what Grandmas do.....
Charlie V
06/30/2016 10:43PM
Thomas Steven:
Who all should attend a engagement party of the families?
Charlie V
Thomas Steven:
Doesn't matter
Charlie V
Garth?
Thomas Steven:
I just got home from work. Real question?
Charlie V
Yes...
Thomas Steven:
Guess what. Who attends?
Charlie V
Trump?
Thomas Steven:
Are you drunk? Who attends an engagement party of the families?
Charlie V
Oohhh.... im sleep deprived. Close friends and family....i guess...never been to one.
Thomas Steven:
Mom dad brothers sisters grandparents?
Charlie V
I would say that list is accurate
Thomas Steven:
Okay thank you for the input. Get your rest. I will fill you in tomorrow.
Charlie V
Now youve piqued my curiosity
Thomas Steven:
Quit using big words I don't understand. LOL
What the “f” is goin on bro....lol...better?
Thomas Steven:
Keep it hush-hush. Steven and Alex , he is going to pop the question tomorrow. Big surprise to Alex. Party tomorrow night at her parents new house.
Charlie V
That is crazy awesome....how do you feel?
Thomas Steven:
We are excited and love it. They will make a great couple.
Charlie V
They seem good together.
Thomas Steven:
They are.
Charlie V
Im trying to autopaste the engagement party list per Martha Stewart....it wont paste over...lol....family and close friends is the short answer
Thomas Steven:
We weren't sure of grandparents going
Charlie V
Martha says there can be two parties...one for friends and one for family.....
Does her parents know?
Thomas Steven:
They are the ones hosting the party
Charlie V
Lol...thats good!
Thomas Steven:
Stevens going to ask her in the morning up in KenyanCollege parents are going to be there to take pictures after and during. She just thinks it's a family gathering.
Nice... no one took pics at either of my engagements...lol...good thing--1st one im pretty sure I was minus several pieces of clothes....2nd i was in my PJs...lol
Thomas Steven:
The first one I won't comment , the second one , Wade was the camera guy
Charlie V
Lol....
MAR 16TH, 11:05PM
Thomas Steven:
if you did do not accept.....I will need to explain.
Charlie V
I did not accept it.... what's going on?
Should I delete it or ignore it... I've seen other people talk about being hacked and clicking on the link is bad....
Thomas Steven:
ignore it.
Charlie V
I will...
Thomas Steven:
another & I do not trust her. She is drama with Mark, Us and Ry.
...bleeding Mark dry, got him hooked on "perc's" and telling Ry we are bad people.
Charlie V
Oh I'm sorry.... I haven't been able to decide whether I like her.... I feel sorry for her once in a while and then she posts something rude, or stupid and I think "no wonder you're in this situation"
Thomas Steven:
....made Mark spend $1200 on 100 percs.....that they both snorted in 2 weeks.
Charlie V
Ooohhh no!!! RY isn't believing her is she?
OMG..... that's not a good situation...
Thomas Steven:
No. another went to Childern Services and to the school today.
Charlie V
Good.... Ry can't be in that kind of environment
Thomas Steven:
agree.....
...parenting sucks
,,,adult hood
Charlie V
Lol...yes it does.... I swear it was supposed to stop after 18...lol
Yep!! I'd give anything to go back to no responsibilities....lol...
Thomas Steven:
????????
...loved the pic of the bridge in the background. Did Wade take the pic?
Charlie V
LOL....no!!!! I did.....I was in the city all week at a conference
Thomas Steven:
I will take an 8 x 10 or one on canvas.....
Charlie V
Lol...copy and paste...Walmart or Walgreens print in one day...lol
Thomas Steven:
.....good idea, I dont do techie stuff anymore.
Charlie V
Lol....then watch you mailbox for a photo coming to your town soon....lol
Thomas Steven:
....game on. Did you see Mark's post?
Charlie V
I just read his post dot dot dot who in the world is he talking to?
Thomas Steven:
Me and another
Charlie V
I just unfriended Mark and Chelsea... that shit is too toxic for me. I'm sorry but you don't treat your mom and dad that way.... I unfriended Devin a long time ago and his "wife" for similar reasons... you have my support brother.....whatever you need.
Thomas Steven:
......thank you. We do not do that....
Charlie V
You got that straight....
Thomas Steven:
MAY 20TH, 11:35PM
Thomas Steven:
Ryleigh, Sadie, Laci, Molly, and Cierra. I'll cover expenses after the wedding (#1)
Charlie V
So I know Ry and Molly... who are the other three?
Thomas Steven:
Emma is a cuz, Sadie is a cuz and cierra is a friend of Sadie who don't believe me you are my sister Charlie V
Lol...I will get them signed and in the mail next week. Family discount, brother....
Thomas Steven:
free,,, love it
Charlie V
MAY 21ST, 8:39AM
Thomas Steven:
Judy is excited to get her book from the student she taught english to 47 years ago.......you must be old....lol MAY 27TH, 9:12AM
Charlie V
Damn autocorrect...you meant to say someone who is 47 years old...lmao. i am so happy she wants a book ????
JUN 22ND, 1:48AM
Thomas Steven:
wake up....book time. I am really smart or I need a doctor. .....NO THAT IS NOT THE TITLE....but the title will blow your mind. I have the backing of my wife as to you making the final decision.
Charlie V
Blow my mind...
Thomas Steven:
It is a book about mental illness....depression.....but with a twist. Hint....Think for a moment that everything you heard through throughout your life was true.....now take all the b.s. that you know is b.s. and ignore it,....why, cause it is b.s. and you know it is b.s. now take all the rest and process it. I WILL GIVE YOU A MINUTE
FOR THAT TO SINK IN......
Thomas Steven:
stay with me here........Our Dad was right all along....Do I HAVE YOU ATTENTION YET?
Charlie V
Yes!!!
Good, then you and I ARE GOING TO BE VERY RICH.
Charlie V
Rich is good...go on.
Thomas Steven:
.....my shift key is not working so i am going to type in all lower case.......
Charlie V
Ok
Thomas Steven:
No,,,,,,but since you asked....lol the title of the book is.....i am not ok, you are not ok PERIOD.
Charlie V
OMG that's a great title
Thomas Steven:
the book is about what has happened to us,,,me you, Wade.....etc....for the last 50 years and everything you have been told, believe, know and trust through the eyes and mind of a mental patient.
Charlie V
Wade said the premise for the book is great!
Thomas Steven:
....well i love you but like another, i trust Wade...lol
Charlie V
Lol...great... Wade says you're a smart man
Thomas Steven:
that is just the premise,,,,,what do you want to know next.......you are the writer in the fam.........and unlike the all other b.s. i have teased you and razzed you about through the ages do you need from me to get started......i have always wanted to be like you and write a book///// always wanted to be a radion dj but WTNS you said bruce would only pay min wage
Thomas Steven:
....and gonna write it with or with out ya but really want a ghost writer for this one.......trial run of full boar.....you the expert
and then there is the money Alice.....this rabbit hole goes pretty deep
pretty sure Kickstarter will finance if i cant
kidding,,,,you are the greatest brother ever,,,,,,
Charlie V
Well, let's start laying it out...we have a premise...write some scenarios... decide what critical points will move the story forward.... I don't always have to start at the beginning. I like to get some ideas on paper.....money isn't necessarily an issue with self publishing...even with an editor there is a lot of leg work to be done first....
Thomas Steven:
and yes there is a story behind that too,,,, if you do not know it yet....this message is in response to my last rant, typing, message
Charlie V
Are you good with rough drafting a few ideas to paper?
Thomas Steven:
i am just the writer / story teller her.....jody can edit for all I care....lol
.....sure
Charlie V
Lol....family affair. Jot down some things and I can help make the story flow...
Thomas Steven:
Dare ye go there fair maiden?....lol
Charlie V
Lol....yep!
Thomas Steven:
ok, no contract then, remember....i trust Wade but i love you......there are rules...
......write that down,,,,it is important
Charlie V
Lol....no contract ....trust no one...love everyone...got it!
Thomas Steven:
Now, go back and re-read whole conversation I started .....dad was right, trust no one, forget all the b.s.....why,,
because you know why.......a perception of reality though the mind and eyes of someone who suffers from mental illness,,,,depression. but our patient truly knows that you are not ok,,,,neither is he......why you ask.........our dad was right,,,,,,uhhhhhh, throw all that b.s. out,,,,\,
Thomas Steven:
.....Is there a pill for that?,,,,,,,
GOD i miss Friso....
breaktime
Charlie V
Lol...it misses you
Good stuff....really. I have a 6am circus call.... I'm going to jump off here...but seriously, keep the momentum going... send anything you get down to my email: jmberryauthor@gmail.com. We will work on this...it will be great!
Thomas Steven:
have i ever let you down,,,,wait, don;t answer that.....lol......more to come soon,,,,good night. sweet dreams forget all the b.s........
.....but please write this for me....if nothing else,,,,for me.......and trust Wade.....good night JUN 22ND, 10:20AM
Charlie V
I look forward to working on this project together. We will get an outline together and get started. Love you brother.
JUN 23RD, 5:47PM
Charlie V
Charlie stumbled into the bathroom. The Morning Light hadn't yet seeped into his room making it necessary to turn on the overhead light. Something wasn't right. The tiles of the small square water closet or yellow bright glowing yellow yesterday they were white. It was happening again what was wasn't what is isn't. Those words chipped away at Charlie's conscious mind while we took a piss. The whole world has gone mad and he couldn't do anything but stare into the toilet and wonder what color the tiles would be tomorrow.
Charlie stumbled into the bathroom. The morning sun hadn't yet seeped into his room making it necessary to turn on the overhead light. Something wasn't right.
The tiles on the wall of the small, square water closet were yellow; bright, glowing yellow. Yesterday they were white.
It was happening again.
"What was, wasn't. What is, isn't." Michael's words chipped away at Charlie's conscious mind. Yet all he could do was take a piss and wonder what color the tiles would be tomorrow.
JUN 23RD, 8:31PM
Thomas Steven:
what the hell are you smokin.......i like it
Charlie V
It just came to me. Thought I'd send it to you. Get some stuff on paper I may have questions I'll send them to you later.
JUN 23RD, 10:13PM
Thomas Steven:
ok
JUN 26TH, 10:49PM
Thomas Steven:
I am watching you, You're watching me.
But then (Isaac Hayes) said "Don't let go" in 1979. What time period are we really in? Today's? Yesteday's?
Somebody figure it out quick 'cause time is moving fast. Isaac Hayes was given the nckname "Black Moses" by a friend.
That didn't make recial news or create an outburst. Today......I think we might. YEAH!!! More stuff for us to talk about.
We are always in a battle with what is right and wrong.
There is a song "Let it go" (James Bay) and then someone else sings "Say you won't let go" (James Arther) (In life)....there are rules to this.
Battling inside yourself on a Sunday evening at bedtime. "I 've got to put on a suit and tie in the morn and go to
work. Shit, how much can I drink tonight? What time do I have to go to bed? So I can get shit on when I get to work.
Charlie V
Processing....
So the main character's life is spinning out of control.... in his head or in reality (premise) and he takes us on a journey in and out of the past 50 years...but to what outcome?
Do we start the main character normal and watch him deteriorate .... or does he slowly go from crazy to sane?
JUN 27TH, 12:41AM
Thomas Steven:
i see it starting in the middle......
JUN 29TH, 12:26AM
Thomas Steven:
how is the market out there for sea side decor
Charlie V
Sea side decor is popular...there are lots of opportunities at farmers markets
Thomas Steven:
ok...more of the book to come tonight......but gonna send you some craft pics
JUN 30TH, 9:51PM
Thomas Steven:
Least we forget History, we are DOOMED to repeat it. We have the answers to Being, but we don't have the formula to
being. We all make it up as we live through life and what surrounds us. WOW. could it get anymore complicated? Who raised you?
Rick's alright, he just is proud who he has become. He has his fortune. But she remained humble, she stayed true.I took nothing from you, but you thought I took everything. I grabbed things from you and said "Do that
first; taste this. Here's your stuff back". See, I took nothing from you. Or did I? I'm upstairs, I holler down to my wife and say "I love you Baby! And she hollers back "Whatever you say baby" (but I cannot hear her) "Yeah, me too. We still wake up the same. CRAZY and in Love. Nothing's changed. Just the place around us. Not our minds.
Although the place around us has everything to do with us changing our minds. Not mine. One body, One mind.
I don't know where I was going with that. But anyway, I am "mentally disabled". But sure see things the right way. Or do I?
JUL 2ND, 11:21PM
Thomas Steven:
Did i loose you?
Charlie V
No... just a little preoccupied with some other stuff.
Thomas Steven:
Is everything ok?....
Charlie V
Yes. Today is Wade's birthday. She committed suicide a year ago. He is okay.. He just needs some extra attention this weekend.
Thomas Steven:
So sorry, take care of him,,,,,we will get back to this when time is right.
Charlie V
Later this week... we have a lot to discuss and work out in order to get this right.
Thomas Steven:
ok, i know it seems like a puzzle but it will all come together
Charlie V
Yes it will....writing takes time and usually takes on its own path
Thomas Steven:
.....kinda like reality.....
Charlie V
You know it...
I don't know where I was going with that. But anyway, I am "mentally disabled". But sure see things the right way. Or do I?
.....love you.
Charlie V
Love you!!!
JUL 15TH, 1:01AM
Thomas Steven:
...ok, back to work. Money never sleeps.
Charlie V
Tru so true
Thomas Steven:
.....so as a twist to all this,,,,,
Charlie V
Yes?
Thomas Steven:
....this idea this whole idea is based on my life, my perspective of life as seeing it though the eyes and mind of another, who is really the crazy one.,,,,,
Charlie V
I love it....so in the book crazy another is telling the story of Thomas Steven:?
Thomas Steven:
.....or as Batman whoud say.......'BAM'
Charlie V
Or is crazy another telling a story about life through your perspective?
Thomas Steven:
no, it is the perspective of life as I think she sees it
........but it leads to a higher thinking of '' Everything you know know, based upon your whole life'',,,,,,,,,and how the descisions you make are based on what you know and your surroundings......an NO, I am not drunk.
Charlie V
No you're not drunk...lol....I believe your premise is true... you become your environment
So the main character is female....
Charlie V
I have a character development outline that I will send you. You can answer the questions. It will serve as background info.
Thomas Steven:
.....send it
need my email?
Charlie V
So when structuring a story think of it as a play: three act. The opening, the middle and the end. What major event/or conflict happens in the opening, and the middle. How does the main character or the main character's story change in the end. I.E. he goes from bad to good, rich to poor, young to old, nice to mean, good to bad...
you get it. Yes, send me your email addy
Thomas Steven:
Did you hear about the lady that told her boss she was taking a couple days off for her ''mental health''
Charlie V
Yes... I had to laugh because I told my boss the same thing a week prior to that story being released. My boss said "oh, good for you"....lol
Thomas Steven:
ok,,,, I love you but the last thing you said was what I learned in the 5th grade by that ''fat teacher, Mrs Smith''
.....the 2nd to last thing...
Charlie V
LMAO....oh the people we forget....