From the complaint department to the emperor of a planet by D.A. Sanford - HTML preview

Royally busted

Donna and I have now been dating for almost three months. There is something great between us and I don’t mean the sex. Although it is fantastic, deep down I feel something I have never felt before. I care about her. I want her in my life. I miss her when she is not with me. Could I be falling in love.

No, who am I kidding, I am in love with her and the way she glows, I’m sure that she feels that way about me.

Besides everything else, Fred likes her an approves her to hang around with him. Ego.

There is one thing, everything is going so well that I do consider asking for her hand. Those old doubts and worries form my days leading up to the complaint department, creep into my thoughts every time I get that euphoric feeling of everything is right.

She is so beautiful, I don’t deserve her. When is she going to dump me? I don’t want to feel that pain. These are the thoughts. Self-doubts. Even now, my old self esteem rears its ugly head. Then the ray of logic takes over with its blanket and covers those thoughts. They may and are still there but covered, I only trust Donna.

Yes it’s love.

One day, the royal messenger is at my door with a command from the emperor. I am to appear, with Fred, at the palace for a personal audience with the emperor. We are to go with the messenger.

We are given a few minutes to be presentable. Fred is looking at me, then asks,

“What did you do now? Do I need to watch you closer?”

I tell him that the urgency must be due to something to deal with the future store site. So, we both get into the limo with the messenger and proceed to the palace. Ushered into the throne room, we see that there is no one there with the exception of a gentleman standing next to the emperor.

I immediately got the feeling that this person felt superior to everyone in the room. I do mean everyone. That includes the emperor. To me he exudes creep. I later found out that he is regent to the emperor. Right now, he has the most sour, disgusted look on his face.

Before I could do the formal greeting to the emperor, the emperor looks at Fred.

“Fred Sampson, didn’t you tell me the last time we talked that you were keeping an eye on David?”

Fred is getting defensive as he turns on me

“I asked you what you did!”

He then turns back to the emperor and says,

“I don’t even know this man.”

It seems that for just an instant, the emperor chokes down a laugh but then gets serious. He yells,

“Get my daughter in here.”

I need a change of boxers and Fred has melted into a blob. I have to put my foot out to stop him from sliding out.

“I don’t think I need to introduce to the only princess and heir to the throne of Tilxon, her royal highness Princess Donna Tilxon.”

All I could think of to say is

“What, Why didn’t you tell me who you are?”

Right now, I wish I could turn into a blob. Then Fred and I could escape. I then heard almost a bellow.

“Fred come back here and take your place beside David in your humanoid form.”

He does.

The emperor tells Fred that he has been informed, by Donna, that Fred approved and gave the two the permission to mate.”

Fred answered, he again was on the defensive.

“The information you have is faulty, I said date.”

The emperor then turns to me,

“What am I going to do with you? I really would like to drop you into the grabber pool that you did save her from, but my daughter would be very upset. There is only one thing that can be done. You are going to publicly marry my daughter in three days. We will announce that both of you have been secretly engaged for these three months. But now you are going to a location to scout a new store location and my daughter cannot live without you. You will be married so she can properly travel with you.”

I try to say something but he stops me.

“Why do I think you were going to object to the suddenness of this? You don’t realize that you do not have a say in this, do you, DADDY!”

I cannot comprehend what I just heard. I look at him then I look at Donna. It suddenly hits me as I see her resting her hands on her stomach where her womb is. Daddy? Can’t be.

“You’re pregnant?” I ask.

She nods and says “Three months”

Fred now pipes up spouting

“Way to go stud!”

All three of us look at him and he just shrugs.

“What are you looking at me for. They mated successfully and reproduced. That’s just how it works. David needed to be praised.”

My tension abates enough for me to ask the emperor,

“Do I have your permission to kiss my intended?”

Fred answers me as if I asked him for permission,

“It’s okay. Obviously you’ve done more than that.”

The somber mood has been totally shattered. Even the emperor is now laughing. Only the regent is still mad.

I thank Fred and hug her.

“Are you okay with this?” she tentatively asks.

I whisper in her ear that I love her and was going to ask her on our weekend date to marry me.

The regent now turns to the emperor.

“Your highness. You cannot be serious. This farce has gone on far too long. This man is a commoner and your daughter must marry someone within the court or royalty. Her station requires it. The emperor just waved him off.

The regent, knowing he have been dismissed by the mere wave of a hand, storms out of the room while giving me what looks like the evil eye as he leaves. I do believe he was trying to pitch himself as the only person that would be of proper status to be Donna’s husband.

I get a nasty feeling that I need to watch him.

Fred utters one phrase as he watches the regent leave.

“Meat eater.”

It’s amazing how communication works, before the formal announcement was made, most of the general population knew about our relation and upcoming marriage. I now know why she was getting the royal treatment. It wasn’t that she visited those places frequently, even though she did, it was because of her position.

On the day it was proclaimed, I received a message from corporate congratulating me, how good it looks for the Good Goods brand and that they have a position on the board for me.

They also doubled my expense account. After all, it doesn’t hurt the brand to have a future emperor on the board even if I had to leave the corporation. The PR value of an employee going from hourly staff to planet manager to emperor, you cannot buy that for any amount of money.

A whirl wind of things were happening. Royal halls being decorated, dishes being prepared for tasting, outfits being made and especially the brides wedding dress. That had to be the most impressive ever made. Those were the emperor’s orders.

Naturally, by his own unofficial royal decree, Fred insisted that he had a say in all the items that were of interest to him. Especially the floral arrangements. He was on his best behavior and did not eat any, well maybe a taste or three.

He stated that the arrangements had to be to his standard because he insisted that, after the wedding, they be placed in the royal food garden so his fellow slimes could enjoy the extra bounty.

My outfit was courtesy of Good Goods. They sent their request that the royal tailor send them the bill. I told the tailor that if they wanted any logo, any where on the suit, ignore them. I’ll handle the repercussions.

The tailor said that he had already decided that it was beneath the occasion to have any logo.

The only thing coming close would be the label on the inside pocket that stated who the suit was for, the occasion and the royal tailor’s name.

He did say that they said that the company logo would be up to me, per their instructions.

That meant that they were considering it.

I did commission the exact same suit for Fred, after all he is going to be the best man. When I asked him to do it, I needed to chuckle because he answered me.

“Who else would you have. I am the best man.”

He said it with pride.

I looked directly at him and agreed.

I did tell him that this was a formal occasion so that, during the wedding, they will be asking both Donna and me the questions.

“You need to just stand there and look handsome in that suit.”

“That suit is uncomfortable.”

“Welcome to the club”

“Club, what club”

He sometimes does not grasp the phrases. I fill him in that it means that sometimes uncomfortable things need to have you just do them.

“But what does it have to do with a club.”

I had asked Donna where she wanted to go on the honeymoon. She really did not need to ponder it.

“Out in the wilderness, beyond the barrier, there is a large hunting lodge that my grandfather built. It has been maintained all this time but it is very seldom used. The last time I was there I was around ten. This was before my mother died. It has fond memories for me.”

She looks like she is remembering that time, then continues.

“I want to go there and explore the areas around it. I do remember that there were areas that you could find gems just lying in stream beds. That is where we ran into two adventurers.

Both human, and married to each other. Being ten, they told me of their adventures. As

expected, I was fascinated. I can’t remember their tales, but I do remember that, after they left, my mother leaned in and told me that those were fantastic fairy tales.”

We’re going just because of the look she had.

Fred asked her about the flowers. She told him that there were ones that were bigger that him.

She said that, considering his taste, he would consider them an exquisite dish.

I swear he is drooling. I had to stop him. He grabbed Donna and said,

“We need to go right now.”

Asking Donna about the ceremony, she told me that the actual ceremony would normally be held in the garden but that would be too much distraction for Fred so it was going to be held in the throne room.

Royal family weddings are usually officiated by the regent but this time he refuses and my father said that he would gladly have another do the task.

I’m glad. The man’s self-inflated ego even overpowered Fred’s ego but in the wrong way.

After the wedding, there is a parade that is to let the public see us. It gives the invited time to change into the reception banquet attire. Once assembled, we arrive and enter the hall. A Hearld will announce the emperor. The emperor wants Fred to walk with him. Then I enter.

Finally Donna will enter the throne room and, as it should, she becomes the star of the show.

Dine, toasts, dancing and no one leaves until we do. The emperor will entertain Fred for the night. In the morning, we, including Fred, will depart for the lodge.

The wedding goes off a hitch. Only one person is giving the stink eye.

The regent is at the banquet. You can’t help but notice. Without hearing what he is saying but the way he is gesturing towards me and the emperor, you can tell the pure contempt, animosity and out right hatred.

I get a real bad feeling about this guy. If it was not for the fact of the honeymoon, I would insist that they bring him in and make him air his complaint directly. It cannot be the fact that I am marrying Donna. Or could it?

“Donna,” I ask her alone, “What is the real problem with the regent? He is not being a ray of sunshine. I worry what he is capable of doing. Not only to us but to anyone. I’ve seen that.”

She assures me that he has bouts of mood swings before. It does not bode well.

Sure enough, the next day, he is there wishing us a wonderful time. All smiles. That creeps me out even more but the honeymoon awaits. Donna kisses her father and Fred is in the car honking the horn.

“Come on, those flowers she told me about can’t wait.”

“Fred, it’s you that can’t wait. Donna, we better go. If we don’t, Fred is libel to drive off. Fred get in the back seat.”

In order to protect Donna, It was announced that we would be gone for around eight months.

This way we would be able to say that he was conceived the wedding night. No one would dare to question anything. Already, at the lodge, were the staff and their traditional midwives.

In the forest on our honeymoon

The area is just as Donna described it. Cut out of the jungle is a large well-kept area with a mansion in the middle. This was going to be home for quite a few months. Jack Reed will take care of the day to day in my name. Corporate knows about the royal decree. I will from time to time go back to keep up appearances and I will be scouting locations. That way the story let out will be somewhat true. Jack can get in contact with me via my tablet so there should be no problem.

There are midwives here to constantly keep tabs on Donna. Now if only there was a way to keep tabs on Fred. I swear, the second he saw the flowers that he was told about, he made a bee line to them. He realizes that in his humanoid shape, he could be attacked but he goes to the blob shape. Nothing bothers him. I still worry.

“I need you back here every hour or so to make sure that you are alright. Fred pay attention to me.”

He seems distracted. I must go to my last resort. I bring out a rather large glass jar. It is for food preservation so it has and airtight seal. I put it in front of him.

“If you don’t listen to me and come back. The first time you come back late, I’ll put you in here and not let you out until we go back.”

That gets his attention but he gets full of himself. He walks around the jar. In true Fred form.

“Open it up. I’ll be out of there in seconds.”

He is so bold. I decide it is time to call him on it. I open the jar and he goes in and I seal it.

I can see him moving around in there and probing the lid area. He has been in there for only a few seconds when he starts to bang on the glass so I open it. He bursts out.

“Who thought up that hideous torture device. They need to be thrown into a grabber pool.”

He is looking very indignant.

“This is a simple jar for keeping food a long time in storage. It is used on my planet for just that purpose. It is air tight so the food stored inside does not spoil”

“Inhuman! It does not belong here. Destroy it.”

“No, it will be your home for months if you don’t follow my rules. Check in every hour.”

Grudgingly he does it but after a while he starts getting bord of the same flower. He starts on the flowers in the garden. Finally, he complains.

“We need to go home. These are not up to my standards. I need Karl food.”

“I can take you back home but you will need to stay there with only the staff.”

“No, you have to stay with me.”

“Donna cannot come back for a few more months. Not until the baby is born.”

“Tell her to hurry up. I’ll stay.”

This goes on for quite a few months but mostly the three of us enjoy the time. We did go on excursions and found that there indeed were gems just laying around but the creatures in here makes it almost not worth it.

Finally one day, I notice that Donna is complaining that something she ate is not sitting well and every so often she will grimace. I casually rub her back and tell her that I will get her something for it.

I go to the midwives and tell them of it. They immediately spring in action. Checking her out, she indeed is going in labor. Like a well rehearsed dance, they take charge and usher her into their specially prepared room.

I’m pacing while Fred is looking at me.

“Why are you worried. She will divide then the baby will take its shape.”

“That is not how it works for us. The baby is fully formed then must be passed out of her body.

It is a very painful process that the female experiences but when it is out, she feels much better.”

I kept it simple for him but now he is pacing with me.

Finally, they come and get us.

Donna smiles and shows me the baby.

“You have a son.” And that causes my mind to go blank.

Fred is really staring at Donna.

“What do you mean, son?”

She tells him that it means that David and I are his father and mother.

“We are his parents.”

“I never had parents, I just was.”

Fred seems dejected. Then says

“I wish I had a father and mother.”

I can’t help myself. I look at Donna and it seems that she knows what I’m going to say. She nods yes.

“Fred, who gave you that name.”

“You did.”

We had discussed this between ourselves. Donna asked for two names for the baby. One if it was a girl and another if it was a boy. I turn to the baby and say,

“I name you Chad. You are my son.”

Fred looks like he is thinking.

“You named me Fred, does that make me your son?”

“If you remember when they declared you sentient, what last name did they give you?”

“Sampson”

“That made you, my son. So, we are your father and mother.”

Donna tells him,

“There is a term use in families that applies to you and you only. Chad is your younger brother.

Fred, you are his big brother, if you accept that role. That means you protect him and be best friends to him. Do you accept being his big brother?”

For the first time, Fred does not have a self inflated ego answer. He is genuinely humble.

“Does that mean I can call you both father and mother?”

“Yes” we both say. Then Donna tells him,

“Come here and hold your brother.”