From the complaint department to the emperor of a planet by D.A. Sanford - HTML preview

A sentient slime named Fred

I've finished with Jack for today. My driver is taking him home. Other than the staff, I'm alone and free to roam. I need to get familiar with my surroundings so I decide to get outside and wander the grounds.

The lawn looks like they use scissors and a ruler to cut it. The garden is beautiful. I was never really interested before I left the complaint department but now I'm different.

I am the same person that I was back then but now I am more aware of my need improve my knowledge. On any planet, knowledge is power. I don't mean power as force, it can and is but I mean that knowledge will help in not getting killed.

If I hadn't been informed, I might have been interested in a plant then found myself as its dinner. I like my new life so the more knowledge I can get the better The manor is on the opulent side of the spectrum. Very large on a lavish plot of land. It is typical for a tropical climate. White with terracotta roofing tiles. Open to the airflow, screens are prevalent. There are windows and doors but most are of the sliding pocket type. More rooms than I could imagine, but I would expect that it was designed to accommodate the top executives when they come to visit the stores.

A large pool finishes out the estate. All in all, compared to this, my house was a hovel. It was a four room cape on less than an acre.

The garden, no, my garden, is beautiful. The flowers are arranged so that they look natural.

Flowers and different bushes combine to form the perfect scene. It all seems to make the viewer relaxed, peaceful like. That is why something cowering in the bushes caught my eye.

There, trying to hide, was a shivering blob. It is around a soccer ball size, opaque and milky in color. I kneeled down to look at it but it tried to back away. It was stopped, cornered by the bush.

"It's okay" I said "I will not harm you"

I pull back my hand. I sit down and start to talk to it.

"You know, I am new here. You are the first thing that I have met."

I had been introduced to the house staff by Jack but this was the first outsider.

Knowing that there are different life forms, I talked to it.

"On the planet I'm from we don't have anyone that looks like you but I have seen pictures about life on other planets. There were a few of what they labeled as slimes. Are you a slime?"

It vibrated slightly.

"Does that mean yes?"

It vibrates again.

Not knowing if that is only a reaction to my voice I change the question to a request.

"Show me what you do if you mean no."

The slime flattens itself.

"That means no?"

It vibrates.

It seems to understand me.

I have in my pocket a sandwich. I like my sammitches, as my father called them, so out of nostalgia, I continued the tradition, in private. No PBJ anymore, these sammitches are fresh MMLT's Bacon lettuce and tomato is on Tilxon mystery meat lettuce and tomato. At least I am calling it lettuce and tomato.

Thinking food is the quickest way to break the ice, I pull the lettuce out and offer it to the slime.

It hesitates so I set it on the ground a few inches from it. The slime stretches out and envelopes the lettuce.

"Can I touch you?"

It vibrates, so I touch it. Why do they call these slimes? It is smooth and dry. The word slime implies a sticky feeling.

"Listen, I just can't call you slime or other derivatives of that. Would it be alright if I just named you Fred?"

It vibrated more than just yes.

"Like that name, Fred?"

Again, a vigorous vibration.

"Okay Fred, let’s take a walk in the garden my friend."

As I walked Fred bounced behind me. I stop and tell Fred

"I can't have my first friend walking behind me. Please come on up beside me. We walk together"

Fred seems happy as he, since I named it Fred, to me it's he, bounced beside me. I stop to look at a flower, Fred ate the flower. We moved on, the same. I look, he eats.

"At lease let me see it before you eat it."

The next flower Fred hesitates moving around but not eating.

"Okay, I've seen it."

As soon as I said that, the flower was consumed.

I hear someone come up behind us. I turn to see the gardener.

"That damned slime."

He raises his shovel to kill Fred.

"Stop right now. Don't harm Fred."

"Fred, who's Fred? This slime has been eating my flowers. It has nearly wiped out whole sections of my garden."

I look at Fred, "Is that correct?"

Fred vibrates a little.

"He must be hungry" I say to the gardener.

"Fred, you can't keep eating whole sections of the flowers."

The gardener repeats

"It keeps eating whole sections of my flowers!"

"Hold it right there. Whose flowers?"

"My flowers" is the reply. I correct him

"This is my manor so these are my flowers. Am I right in assuming that."

"They are your flowers" he tells me meekly as if he overstepped his boundaries.

"Now that it is settled, I do understand what you meant when you said my flowers. You are not in trouble." I pat his arm.

"I want you to plant a small section off to a side. This will be Fred's food. Keep it replanted as he eats it and the rest of your garden will be safe. Have you seen any other slimes on the property?"

"No just" he chokes out "Fred"

"Well than, Fred I want you only to eat from your garden not, what is your name again?"

"Karl, my name is Karl."

"Fred, you are not to eat any of Karl's plants outside of your area. That okay with you."

Fred vibrates. I tell Karl "Fred agrees to my terms."

"How did you figure out Fred said yes?"

"It seems that Fred is sentient. He seems to understand me. He vibrates when he means yes"

"The only thing I saw when I tried to kill Fred was it flattened out then bounced away before I could kill it."

"Fred was saying No. Would you try something for me. Try asking Fred a yes or no question. I want to see if it just me or can he understand others."

Karl says "I'm sorry for trying to kill you. Can you forgive me."

Fred vibrates very strong.

"He forgives me."

Karl is relieved. He almost committed a crime. On Tilxon, harming a sentient life form is a very serious crime. The sentence for such a crime varies from exile to a criminal colony to being banished from the planet, with only the clothes you are wearing.

With that settled my new companion bounced alongside as I finished my walk. He stopped at the door to the manor.

"What are you waiting for? Come on in."

Fred vibrates like it was an earthquake unto itself. Then he bounced in.

I called all the staff together including Karl.

"I want you all to meet Fred. He is a slime but he is sentient."

The murmurs could be heard but Karl spoke up.

"Fred understands and responds to yes or no questions. I tried to kill it before I knew. I asked what seemed like a complex question, can you forgive me for trying to kill you? Fred answered a resounding yes."

"Fred" I continue "vibrates for yes and flattens for no. He does understand complex but for now I can only recognize those two answers. This meeting was to let you know that Fred is allowed into the manor.”

“He should have limits" I look at Fred "such as going into the food locker when it is open just tell him that he is not allowed in there."

Looking again to Fred, "If they say no, off limits or such, you need to respect them. That acceptable to you?"

Fred vibrates." They are astonished. Then one of the kitchen staff talks with the other staff,

"Why don't we put a bowl in an out of the way place in the kitchen. We can put the vegetable scraps in it for Fred. Fred would you like that?"

A first for Fred. It seems that they now have no problem. Fred vibrates and bounces high.

The woman who suggested that says "That must mean that he really likes the idea."

They understand and Fred gets a bonus. I found out later that those scraps went into a compost pile but Karl was willing to give them up as long as they were being eaten.

There is something that I have noticed. Fred has become a favorite with the staff. Most go out of their way to greet him and carry different items with them to give to him to eat. I wonder, will Fred get fat. The reason I wonder is because he is starting to look out of shape. No longer round, Fred is getting bumps on his surface. He has only been the manor’s guest for a few days.

I have started getting my rundown on the state of our store here. Jack is giving me the demographics when he noticed Fred. I told him how we met and how the entire staff of the manor is convinced that Fred is sentient. Jack is amazed and also elated.

"This is the first case of a slime showing it is sentient. We could lean this in our favor.

If we were able to get him declared, by the government, as sentient our community profile would get a large boost."

I ask what that entails. I was told that it can take place here at the manor, due to the fact that the slime has declared this as its territory. They would not force Fred to come to them and leave his territory.

"His territory? It's my manor."

Jack says that I still own the manor but now it becomes protected if they declare Fred sentient.

"Okay, let's do this."

With in days four members of the government are in the manor and interviewing the staff as well as myself. They ask us how did we discover him. Why do we feel that he thinks and understands each of us. Meanwhile Fred is coming and going.

He Is mostly with us but when he sees some of his favorite staff he will waddle to them. I just noticed, when did he start waddling? Those bumps have become elongated and they almost look like they are legs. Not fully defined but legs never the less.

I point this observation to the four.

"We have never seen anything like it.”

I call, "Fred. Would you come over here once you eat that carrot."

Fred absorbs the carrot then waddles over to us. Then something weird happens. We hear, coming from Fred

"Wa wan?"

I say to the four

"We need to wait for a minute. I need to change my pants."

They reply, “He just asked a question. Slimes don't talk”.

"Do you have four extra pairs that we can change into?"

Then Fred did something again not expected. A kitchen staff member came by.

"Fred I have some peals that you like. Do you want them."

Fred partially turns from us and utters "minute" then turns back to me "OK?"

I say yes and he goes over and eats the peels off the floor where the woman dropped them.

She is still frozen in place after being asked to wait.

At that point, the four closed out their tablets and printed out an official document. They signed and handed it to me saying

"There is absolutely no doubt. Fred is alive, aware and now able to intelligently answered a request. We declare him sentient and have recorded his name as Fred Sampson.”

" My last name? "Why Sampson?" I ask.

"Simple" their leader says, "You have discovered him and it is obvious to us that you have nurtured him so we gave him your last name as discoverer."

"I guess I now have a son. You hear that Fred? You are now Fred Sampson, my son."

Fred answers "Good"

At that, slimes became a protested species for fear that they all may be like Fred if given the same treatment. Fred Sampson, my son, is now special. What would my mom have said?

Since that day, Fred's body has changed. He is around two foot tall, still translucent. He now has arms legs and a ball like head though not fully defined as other species. His head now has dents where eyes, nose and mouth should be but the only functioning thing is his mouth.

His voice comes out from there.

He is doing his best to imitate us. He even now absorb his food through that mouth. It is a strange thing to watch when eating he still can talk. His speech is coming along. Still semi broken but you can understand him.

Fred is not confined to the manor ground by his request. He wants to be with me whenever possible, so I let him. That is how I met the emperor Zorrack.

Soon after the word got out that Fred lived with me, I received a special invitation for Fred and I to appear before the emperor for an audience with the newly recognized sentient. Naturally there was no choice in the matter. It's the Emperor.

Jack spent hours on end grilling me on my conduct and the need for observing proper decorum while addressing the emperor. He reminded me that the Board will be waiting for their report.

On the next morning, we were driven to the royal estate. There were formal people dressed in formal dress doing formal things and it was all I could do to not laugh at the farce of pomp but I did not. I put on my formal planet company representative persona. Fred has been told to bow to the emperor but after that talk to him when he talks to you. The way Fred is progressing he will be alright.

We are announced as we walk in. The fifty or so guests start to applause. This sound has never been heard by Fred. It scares him and he clings my leg and starts moaning. I yell for them to stop, "you're scaring him!" and I pick him up.

We hear a loud:

“BE QUIET!"

It was the emperor yelling. Immediately the noise stopped. Unexpectedly, the emperor come to us. He looks directly at Fred, who has his head buried in my chest and saying

"Home, I want Home"

The emperor looks at me then Fred. He says

“I'm sorry Fred Sampson."

Then he tells me

"Take your son home. I will come to your manor later today, if that is alright Fred?"

Fred turns his head

"Okay but home now. I want home now."

"As you wish, David Sampson please take you son home with our sincerest apology."

He personally escorts us to the limo.

"Is he going to be alright?" Emperor Zorrack asks me.

I tell him that once he gets back to the manor he should be fine. The staff will faun all over him when they hear that he was scared. So, we leave.

Sure enough, when the women on the staff heard how scared he was, Fred was almost smothered with cuddles and stuffed with treats. I need to tell him about all the sudden and loud sounds.

I'll have Jack get recordings and video so we can explain them to Fred. For now, he seems happy but now I had to make sure that when the emperor comes, they have the smallest staff come inside. I'm sure they will but better safe than sorry.

I have been informed that sometime in the afternoon we will be having a state visit. That causes another uproar with my staff. They split to their different areas to prepare. I ask Fred,

"You alright now?"

"Was scared but you made me safe by holding me. I fine now. Will that man come here today?"

I tell him "Yes, but only him.

“Fred, the noise that frightened you was a sign of appreciation that people do. They clap their hands together in what is called applause. They were welcoming you. It was my fault for not explaining it to you before we left. I did not think so I am sorry."

Fred said that it was alright. He won't be frightened next time,

"As long as you are there."

"I will." I really have gotten attached to this guy.

Before the visit, the royal guard sent a few people to see to the precautions and security of the manor. It was found to be secure. I asked if the emperor would like a beverage and something to eat. They said that some tea and light snacks. We were told that he has a sweet tooth so my staff went into overdrive.

When the time arrived, Fred wanted to be the first to greet him. When the emperor came in, Fred bowed and said

"Sorry I was afraid at sound and cried."

To say he was touched is an understatement

"Please raise your head Fred Sampson, it is I who am sorry. I should have told them not to make a sound. I did not know"

"That's k"

Fred extended his hand and with a kind look the emperor shook his hand. It was better this way.

Zorrack asked both Fred and I questions. As both of us tell our stories, the staff brought tea and a small tower of sweet snacks. As we talked and ate, Emperor Zorrack finally said that the finding was correct. Fred is alive and aware.

He said that there are a number of studies now being launched to see if there are others like Fred. They wanted to see if the same exposure to someone who cared for them would progress to Fred's level.

Fred startled us by saying that we will be surprised. A small portion of them are only on a base level and will never be more that what you see but there is a bigger portion that will respond and may even surpass his level.

He said some were very smart. The emperor said that he made up his mind. The whole species is now protected. He did not want to see any harmed.

Fred suggested that Karl made the tastiest flowers. They should have him plant food gardens around the edges of the capital’s barrier and make sure that the slimes could pass through it like the walking plants. The smart ones will come.

“Who's Karl” the emperor asks.

Fred points out to the garden. He grabs the emperor’s hand and takes him out to a surprised Karl.

"This is Karl" Fred says "He makes me the yummiest food."

"Karl" I say " You might just like this side job that Fred has recommended you for. Emperor Zorrack wants to borrow your talent.”

To say Karl is stunned is an understatement. He has now gone from just a manor gardener to getting a royal request to help set up feeding gardens for the newly acknowledged sentient slimes.

The ironic fact hit home to him that the slime that he tried so many times to kill has now brought no less than the emperor to him and gave him praise for his ‘delicious flowers’. He will, for the rest of his life, recount this story to numerous people.

He especially loves telling the children that visit him while he tends the slime flower gardens.

He tells them that, even though he tried to kill Fred before they knew he was sentient, Fred showed the greatest forgiveness that anyone could show, he forgave and forgot, then became an admirer of his talents.

Karl always ends that with the same lesson.

“Be kind to everyone and everything. You never know where that kindness will take you.”

The store i.e. avoiding mortal danger

I have now been on Tilxon now for a few weeks. In that time, I have a manor with staff, a limo with driver, a public relation official, a sentient slime that is now my son, Fred Sampson, oh and by the way. I’ve been to the emperor's palace and had the emperor personally visit the manor and he almost stole my gardener, Karl. Just a casual schedule.

Today is the big day. I am to tour the finished new store. Up to now, the construction was ongoing. Now the interior construction is done and they are now setting up the floor. We are almost ready for the opening.

Most of the staff has been hired and they should be in training today. I will meet with them.

From the outside the store is not like the ones I was used to but I understand that we must conform with the local look but it is dull. The store front doesn’t say welcome, we want you to visit, come on in.

Fred looks around,

"I'm hungry. Why aren't there any flowers here. You need to get Karl here, now.”.

Leave it to Fred. Even if he does not understand some things, he can come out with observations that stare you in the face but you don’t see.

"Why didn't I see that."

Jack then tells Fred that we'll get some later, my light goes on.

"Fred is right. There are no flowers in front of the store. It is dull, lifeless compared to the surroundings. We are literally in a jungle climate yet the front might as well have signs that say we don’t care. Get me the store manager."

Jack goes in and comes back out with a gorgeous reptilian. Very nice, then I remembered the warning I was given about trophies. Jack introduces her to me as Ineeda Mann, my store manager.

You had to figure.

I think then introduces me as the new planet corporate manager, David Sampson. Why did I just get the feeling that I need a tranquilizer gun? She kinda slinks over. I could see in her eyes, planet corporate, power, oh hell he's mine.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Sampson."

Daintily shaking my hand as she slightly bends forward. Now I'm six feet, she is a little smaller.

Just enough to give me a glimpse of what she wanted me to see,

"Business, business, think business" before I could start to address her but Fred to the rescue.

He pipes up

"The store front needs flowers. Get some now, I'm hungry"

.

Fred to the rescue.

"Sorry about that I say. I would like you to send one of your runners and arrange for the outside areas below the front windows to have lavish flower beds. They need to be planted by tomorrow."

Fred again "Have Karl plant them"

"Yes I'll have him down here to make sure it is to his liking."

I return to Ms. Mann

"Also have the runner bring back a few dozen samples as soon as possible. Will you last a few hours Fred?"

"I guess so"

"Now that we have a better idea for the store front, why don't you give us the full tour Ms.

Mann."

"Please call me Ineeda."

"We are at the store on formal business and as a matter of decorum formalities must be followed. So, Ms. Mann please start the tour. After that I want to address the entire staff, including the runner. Mr. Reed and I will look at the general appearance but the formal tour will start when you get back."

She reluctantly goes but making that butt swing like a clock pendulum.

Fred is good at reading when he says, “David, watch her, she does not eat flowers, she’s looking for meat.”

Realizing what he is trying to convey, I say

“Thanks for the observation Fred”

"That's what you were warning me about?" I ask Jack.

"That's just the tip of the iceberg. Wait and watch."

We see a young woman go running out the front door. She almost runs into the door looking at the two human males.

"Jack, make a note. Have eye level logos painted on the glass doors. Would not want to have one of the public to get hurt by running into the door while distracted."

Jack catches on "I'll make a note of it." and we chuckle.

Ineeda gets back to us.

"She'll only be gone for a short time. I told her to bring back the owner so we could discuss colors. Also to bring those samples. Shall we start here at the front of the store?”

We tour and the first thing notice is the lay out of the shelving. Straight in line front to back.

"Back on my planet this arrangement was called big box layout. This looks like a warehouse.

We need to arrange the shelves in a zig zag pattern. This way it leads you through more product rather than a customer saying,

“I see way down there is what I need, so let’s just go directly there."

Ms. Mann "That's a good idea, you're so smart"

Then draws out my formal name

"M r. S a m p s o n"

I my mind the red light is flashing and the horn is going off. The voice in my head keeps repeating “Danger, Danger, Danger" Moving on, I point out this and that, minor things that need a little tweaking.

We finally get to inspection the condition of the merchandise. All top quality but

"What are snow boots doing in a tropical climate?"

At the end of the tour we have one major task rearrange shelves, thank God that they were not stocked. There are a number of small items but time wise we should be good. I'm told that the flower shop owner is here with the samples,

"Where is Fred?"

We go outside, there is Fred, just starting to eat.

"Fred, those are samples"

"I know, I'm sampling them."

"Fred" He stops

“You can sample when we are done here"

The flower owner shows us what he has. A very nice selection considering that some selections have disappeared and I might say they keep on vanishing. Finally say that Karl will be down to pick out how many of each.

The owner looks at the areas being planted. He has more than enough to bring after Karl tells him how many of each. He jots down the dimensions. By that time all the samples are gone.

The owner isn't upset but I pay him for the samples and his time.

Looking at Fred, he is trying to act innocent. He has his arms behind him and hands clasped..

He is looking up away from me and appears to be trying to whistle. I tell him that the arms should still be at the shoulders not coming out his back.

Now time for that group meeting. Due to the number of staff, we had the meeting in the store room. I suddenly feel like I am a steak being shown to a starving mob before it is put on the grill. I ask Jack,

“Do we have a security staff? There is a chance that I will need help getting out alive.”

“Those four are your security staff.” He is smiling as he points out the women dressed in uniforms,

“I’m dead meat.”

I look over around forty young ladies. I swear I see drool on some of them. I start by introducing myself, now they all are drooling. I explain my vision and the corporate vision.

"This will be the first of many stores that we plan to open. As we open each, we will need new managers. It is my intent to pick those from this store. It is my vision that this store is where I will train and then choose the best of you to manage the new sites."

Why do most of them have their aprons now on their laps and what's moving under them?

“There are things that will need to be addressed before the opening which is only days away.

Anyone that wants to stay the night to fix the issues will be paid double their wages. Let’s wrap this up. Long speeches make people sleepy. It seems like quite a few of you have fallen asleep. Wake them gently."

Jack finds Fred, we need to run for our lives, I am not that naive after standing up there.

Damn this is going to be tougher than I expected. I really feel for my life. I don't think that I would look good sitting on a trophy shelf.

The next day, Fred and I stop at the store to see Karl there with the flower shop owner working their magic. The beds look natural and very elegant. Knowing that Fred would be with me. They brought a large selection for him to again sample but the ones that they were planting were on the back of the wagon.

Fred decides “You go look at the store, I will help Karl.”

I have arranged for the flower shop owner to have someone come every morning to see to the condition of the beds. They will replace any that have been eaten and report to Karl on consumption. If Karl determines that we need a slime food station, we will plant alongside of the building for the visiting slimes.

The store was now in my final inspection. Ms. Mann and a following trailing behind us, were walking the store to see if what I pointed out was corrected. All were in the standard uniform of Good Good’s. I might say that they look good here for some reason.

Other than the spot on the floor here of a paint scratch there which were fixed on the spot.

“This store looks better than any other store I have seen in the chain. You are all to be proud of your effort. Due to you giving your best effort, I have authorized a bonus for all of you. It will be in the next paycheck.”

There are cheers and at least one “Marry me”