Black Sun by Clifford Beck - HTML preview

Chapter 29

Morning found Ryan and Abigail still wrapped in each other’s arms, hidden away from the cold hand of the day’s first light. They took their first conscious breath together and, turning toward one another, shared a good morning kiss. “Morning,” Abigail said.

Her voice was as warm and soothing as her kiss and Ryan responded by rolling on top of her, where they lay with their naked bodies, once again entangled. But the coming day meant there was work to be done and with that thought, having invaded Ryan’s mind, pulled him away from Abigail’s warm body. “Alright,” he began. “C’mon, we’ve got things to do.” Abigail gathered the covers and, cocooning herself in them, protested the necessity of having to rise so early. “Oh, do I have to? It’s so nice and warm in here.” Foregoing the task of bathing, Ryan threw on his clothes and began the mental list of everything that needed to be done. First, they needed to take stock of the supplies they had acquired, as well as sort out the collection of weapons and ammunition given to them by the soldier back at the arsenal. Next, Ryan would have to determine what they needed more of and how to get it, be it food, water, clothes, or blankets. If they were going to stay in Abigail’s apartment, they would need to be supplied on a regular basis. That meant going back out into a place that had become far more unpredictable than a few days before, when the sun turned the world black.

Walking back over to the bed, he reached down and, grabbing Abigail’s hand, started pulling her out from under the covers. Naturally, she protested and begged for just a little more time within the warm safety of her bed.

“C’mon,” Ryan began. “We’ve got a lot to do and the sooner we start, the sooner we can finish.”

Abigail fought to stay in bed. Certainly, she thought this was a much better idea than doing anything else – especially work. “What is there to do?” she asked. “We have everything we need right here, don’t we?”

Having given up the fight to get Abigail out of bed, Ryan allowed her the luxury of a few more minutes before insisting, stressing the need to always be looking for anything they might need. But he was also becoming impatient and decided to exploit her fear of being alone. It seemed cruel, yet if they were to keep their supplies stocked, he would have to her help.

“Well,” he began. “We need to figure out what we need more of. Then, we have to find where to get it. And we should start thinking about the future. Pretty soon, it’ll start getting cold, and you don’t want to freeze, do you? We’re also going to need a way to heat water. You want hot food once in a while, right?” Abigail quickly realized he was right and, reluctantly crawling out of bed, felt a sudden shiver overtake her. “Holy shit, it’s cold,” she said.

Ryan pointed to where she had left her clothes in a heap near the chair where she had previously had her way with him as he sat back in a marijuana-induced haze.

“Well,” he began. “Put some clothes on. And if you have a jacket, you might want to put that on, too.”

Dressing quickly, she reached for a hooded sweatshirt, not knowing how glad she would be to have it.

Stepping out into the cold morning air gave both Abigail and Ryan a violent shiver, forcing Abigail to pull up her hood and wrap the sweater tightly around her. She would warm up soon enough, but it was Ryan who regretted not dressing for the early morning chill. “Fuck, it's cold,” he cursed.

Abigail spoke up with a slight tone of sarcasm. “And you told ‘me’ to wear a jacket.” Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Ryan quietly mumbled his grievance while Abigail chuckled at his expense. “So, where are we going?” he asked. Abigail stopped suddenly, surprised at his lack of organization. Certainly, if Ryan wanted to go out to get more supplies, he would know where to get them.

“Are you shitting me?” she asked. “You want to get more stuff, but you don’t know where to get it? Jesus Christ!” Ryan was already frustrated. He was very well aware of their circumstances, but its harsh reality was beginning to have a crushing effect on him. As long as he was with Abigail in her apartment, he felt safe, hidden away from the dangers he knew were waiting for them. However, outside he felt exposed, at risk of being discovered when all he wanted was to go back to the way things were. He would never reveal these fears to Abigail out of concern for her occasionally wavering strength. It was important to him that she believed she could always rely on him, that no matter how bad things got, Ryan would always be there for her. “Well,” he began. “Isn’t there a mall around here, or something? I mean, it’s Albany, there has to be someplace, right?” Also frustrated, Abigail pointed toward the direction they would go. It wouldn’t be a long walk, but that was obvious only to her. “Over there,” she began. “We’re going to Crossgates Mall. Everything we need should be there.” Now, she sensed there was something different about Ryan, something unnerving and walking up to him, put a hand on his arm.

“What is it?” she asked.

Tipping his head down, Ryan stared at the ground while sighing deeply.

“You know,” he began. “Sometimes, I feel okay with all of this. I keep telling myself that we’re going to be okay, that everything’s going to work out. But sometimes, I’m just plain scared and I have no idea what’s going to happen to us. And I don’t want to lose you.”

Abigail felt her heart melt as she watched him open up to her, revealing his fears, knowing how rare it was that a man would allow himself to express emotions, much less fear. In her mind, this emotional expression made Ryan more of a man than anyone she had met. She saw most men as pretentious ‘tough guys’, afraid of their shadows but trying desperately to be something that was far out of reach.

Ryan began to tear up as Abigail put her arms around him. “Sit down,” she said.

Guiding him over to the curb, they sat on the cold concrete and as Abigail put her arms around him, he began crying. “C’mon, what is it?” she said.

Ryan made no attempt to hide behind the false façade of concocted masculinity and putting his head on her shoulder let his emotions pour out, managing a few words while trying to catch his breath. “I’m so fuckin’ scared,” he said. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you. And there’s so many dead people. I’m trying to be strong, but it’s so hard. Sometimes, I just don’t know what to do. I’m barely keeping my head together as it is.”

Resting his head on her shoulder, Abigail gently rocked him from side-to-side.

“Listen,” she began. “We’re going to be fine. We haven’t had any trouble so far. All we have to do is get what we need.” Sitting up, Ryan continued with almost prophetic concern. “But that’s just it,” he began. “Don’t you think it’s weird that the only person we’ve met is that guy back at the armory? Don’t you think there’d be other people wandering around, and what do you suppose they’re going to be like? People are animals! That’s what they turn into when shit like this happens!” Abigail put her arms around him again, trying to sooth his tearful agitation.

“Hey,” she said. “I’ve got an idea. What if we went out only at night to get the stuff we need, would that work? We would never be seen in the dark, right?”

Ryan paused long enough to realize the genius of Abigail’s suggestion, and responded with a passionate kiss. “Holy shit!” he said. “Why didn’t I think of that? That is fucking brilliant!”

He kissed her again.

“How can you be so beautiful and smart at the same time?” Abigail smiled and, returning his affection, wrapped her arms around him and kissed him deeply.

They continued sitting on the curb, entwined in each other’s arms. Time was something they would always have in abundance. But they realized that it needed to be used wisely, and that planning would always have to be foremost in their minds. “So,” Abigail began. “What do you think? Should we go to the mall now or wait until night?”

Ryan thought carefully. Without a flashlight, it would be impossible to see but in broad daylight, they would easily be seen and probably by the wrong people. The risk would have to be taken, and Ryan didn’t want Abigail to be on the wrong side of it. “I know you don’t like being alone…” he began. Abigail interrupted.

“Oh, fuck no!” she replied. “You are not leaving me!”

“Look,” Ryan insisted. “You can lock yourself in your apartment. We can have a special knock, so you’ll know it’s me when I come back.”

“No!” Abigail replied. “You know how I feel about this! I can’t handle being alone, not since all this shit happened! For fuck's sake, Ryan, you know that! You are not doing this!” Ryan quickly relented, wishing he had not brought up the subject at all.

“Alright,” he said. “It’s just that I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

They continued sitting on the curb as Ryan tried to think of another solution.

“Well,” he began. “If we go at night, we’ll need a flashlight, and we don’t have one. But if we go during the day, we run the risk of being seen. So, what do we do?”

After a moment of thought, Abigail had a rather odd suggestion, one that was not typical of her.

“I guess if we’re seen by someone, we can just shoot them, right?” Ryan looked at her with a shocked expression and a slight giggle in his voice.

“What? This doesn’t sound like you.” Now, Abigail needed to justify the fact that she was, apparently, in favor of killing someone on sight, without provocation. “Well,” she replied. “I suppose if they give us any trouble…” In a state of disbelief, Ryan interrupted with what he hoped was a far saner idea.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We want to maintain a low profile and try to avoid trouble all together, okay? Besides, a gunshot could bring a lot of attention, and I don’t think we want that.”

“So, what do you want to do?” Abigail asked. After a moment of thought, Ryan answered, but it wasn’t what Abigail wanted to hear.

“I think we should risk it, but just this one time, okay?” Abigail remembered back to the last mall they went to, and recalled that all the batteries they saw had been destroyed, probably when the power failed, just like all those they had seen with injuries consistent with exploded batteries. “Yeah,” she began. “We can go today, but I don’t think we’re going to find any batteries. Remember what we saw back at the mall we went to? And I really don’t want to go out at night, not after that last time. That scared the shit out of me. At least, not without a light.”

Ryan agreed. In fact, he felt the same way. Foraging for supplies at night was nerve-wracking, especially without a light. But hopefully, he could find another way. “Alright,” he began. “So, where is this place? I’ve never been much for coming to Albany, so, lead the way.”