PHILLIP THOMAS DUCK
EXCUSE ME, MISS
"Thus when we fondly flatter our desires, our
best conceits do prove the greatest liars."
he night it all began to change for me was no different than most. I spent it in the
usual fashion, seducinganother womans husband. The seduction took place at
LOOK, an art gallery in Jersey City, New Jersey. Close enough to New York to
carry some of the same sounds and smells, but a touch less frenetic. The art gallery immediately
drew me in with brick walls painted chocolate, gypsum plaster walls painted a light cream, and a
hint of cinnamon and vanilla in the air. Muted lighting,low key. I almost didnt feel the usual
pangs of guilt for what I was about to do.
I spotted Beverly Marie Kingstons husband by a painting that took up most of a cream-
colored wall. Age forty-five, but he looked a decade younger, the benefits of three days each
week at an LA Fitness. He was cloaked in black slacks and an attention-seeking lime green shirt.
Expensive leather shoes, Piaget timepiece, a diamond-encrusted platinum bracelet on his right
wrist. He sipped at a glass of ginger ale, letting his shirt sleeve snake up his arm with each sip so
all of the attractive ladies in attendance could catch the shimmer of his jewelry and put two and
two together: wealthy and content spending that wealth on a variety of gaudy and unnecessary
items. What many women foolishly considered a good catch.
I headed his way.
When I eased into his personal space he glanced at me briefly but went back to admiring
the art. Thered been a slight hitch in his gestures, though, and so I knew he was in play. I
lingered there beside him, like too much perfume, before moving on. But even afterId stepped
away I wasnt completely gone from his imagination. His mind was fixated, Im certain, on the beautiful stranger in the form-fitting, red dress and three-inch heels. That quicklyId become the
muse in his fantasies. That quickly I had his nose wide open.Im certain of this fact.
I found my way to an admittedly eye-catching sculpture and stopped there contemplating
love at first sight. As I expected, Beverly Maries husband sidled up next to me a moment later
with his lies carefully thought out. A sip of ginger ale made his sleeve slip back once again.
I ignored him and the platinum bracelet on his wrist.
“Natalia trulyoutdid herself this time,” he said.
I didnt respond, but lingered long enough to further infiltrate his thoughts. Then moved
toward another sculpture.
“Excuse me, miss?” he called out for me in a deep baritone. A radio voice.
I kept moving, putting plenty of sway in my hips.
“Miss?” he called again.
I took that perfect moment to go ahead and turn back. Everything I did was calculated.
I eyed him, but still offered no words, just stood there smoking him over. His skin was a
shade darker than nut brown. Hair cut close and absent of any visible gray; his face clean-shaven,
free of razor bumps. Much taller than what Id prepared for. About six-two. Wide-shouldered
with strong hands that belonged wrapped around a womans waist. Beverly Maries preferably.
“I didnt mean to alarm you,” he said.
“You didnt,” I replied.
“But you walked off.”
The first hint of his arrogance. It was beyond the realm of possibility, in his mind, for any
woman to walk away once hed spoken.
“I dont know a Natalia,” I explained. Under different circumstances I wouldnt have explained myself. Id have walked away
for the second time. But I couldnt do that with Beverly Marie Kingstons husband. That
bothered me, my lack of say in the matter.
“Hovhannisyan,” he said, and, no doubt noticing the furrowing of my brows added, “She
was born in Yerevan, the Republic of Armenia. Fascinating woman. She has some stories to
tell.” He smiled as if he expected me to be impressed by the people he knew and their depth.
I said, “And?”
The smile was nudged aside by a frown.“Natalias the director of the gallery.”
I simply nodded and resumed my assessment of the sculpture before me.
“Ceramic and bronze,” he said, undeterred by my rudeness. “By exploring figurative and
narrative subjects, the sculptor raises questions about the human condition with impacts form
rather than confinement to realism. Its without question a thing of beauty. As lovely as art gets.”
I wanted to concur. His analysis sounded intelligent and at least as well thought out as his
lies to come. If I had a stomach for art I wouldve been impressed. Intelligence turned me on.
“A perfect blend of objective reality with mythology and flights of fancy,” he added, to
keep the conversation flowing. “Wouldnt you say?”
I started to say, “Yeah, all of that,” but I heard myself reply, “Comic surrealism at its
Id done my homework.
“Yes. Exactly.” He turned to me. Something as pretty as a flower bloomed in his eyes.
I prepared myself to move on.
He quickly asked, “Youre here alone?”
“Sure am. And thats just how I prefer it,” I said. “Thats a troubling worldview from someone so beautiful.”
“Who said that was my entire worldview?”
“Whats your name?” he asked.
“And why should I tell you?”
“I asked nicely.”
“So did Ted Bundy, Im sure.”
“I have to know about more than just art,” I said. “The world is full of evil, and I have to
be aware of that.”
“Im not evil.”
“So you say.”
“Id just like to have a name to attach to your pretty face. Pardon me.”
I had to know the correct steps for this dance. Id pushed it as far as I could. Time to
waltz some more.
“Vicki,” I said.Id stopped giving out false names a while back because I would
oftentimes forget the name Id given. In my line of work awkward recoveries were anathema.
“Vicki,” Beverly Maries husband said, tasting it on his tongue. “I like that. Very sexy.”
I smirked.“Come on now.Youre definitelyreaching. Theres nothing particularly sexy
about my name.”
“Maybe its your carriage, then,” he said, smiling, his teeth straight and as near to white
as teeth could be.
“Can I tell you something, Vicki?” I tsked. “I see how this works. You dont answer questions, you just ask them.
Controlling are we?”
“Most women appreciate a man willing to control some things,” he said, smiling with
Things came out sounding like thangs.
He was getting comfortable with me.
I aided and abetted that comfort, sexymoaned, “Mmm. I cant argue with you there.”
That caused him to clear his throat and swallow, hard. I did my best to keep a shadow
from crossing my face.
“By the way, Vicki, my name is Benjamin Kingsto—” He actually smirked as he caught
himself, and cleared his throat. “Benjamin.”
I frowned in displeasure. “Benjamin. And here I was hoping for something sexy to match
His laugh was a great boom of a thing that had likely broken more than a few womens
hearts. Now that we were deeply engaged in easy conversation not-sexy-named Benjamin had
morphed into a natural born ladykiller. He reached forward and took my willing hand. “Im
certain I could make Benjamin and sexy synonymous in your mind, Vicki. Believe that.”
“That an offer?” I teased. He still held my hand.
“A solid verbal commitment,” he replied.
“Speaking of commitments…” I eased my hand away, finally, and turned his left hand
over. I fingered the knuckle of the naked digit on his matrimonial hand. Thought of my own
naked digit and smiled.
“Thats right, baby. Im single and free to mingle,” he said, biting his lip. He thought my smile was for him. Good.
I continued examining his finger. No mark whatsoever on it. Id always held some
measure of respect for the men with a pale ring of skin where the wedding band shouldve been,
or those that moved to stuff their hand in their pocket when I looked in that vicinity. He was
neither.I cant deny holding that against him.
“Okay,” I said. “Thats good to know. I dont get involved with married men. Thats a
deal breaker right there.” I paused and sexed up my tone. “So tell me about yourself, Benjamin.”
“Im an architect,” he said. “And you?”
I couldnt help but laugh and shake my head. Brevity is the soul of wit? “Quick on the
draw there, Benjamin. Im not sure I appreciate that. I need a man with some staying power.”
Everything I said had a hint of sex behind it.
“Trying to move beyond the preliminaries so we can get to the good part,” Beverly
Maries husband replied. “The good part, youll relish that, Vicki. Trust me when I tell you.”
“Trust.” I let the foul word dangle in the air.
“The key to all happiness in a relationship,” he had the nerve to tell me.
It took the strength of the God I no longer prayed to, that and a desire to see this situation
through completely, to keep me from slapping not-sexynamed Benjamins handsome face.
“Where do you live, Benjamin?”
Pause. “All over. I travel a lot.”
“What address is on your income tax return?” I prodded.
His lies and the ease at which he told them were more impressive than his knowledge of
art. “Chicagos nice?”
“Beautiful city.” His gaze drifted away from me for the first time.
“I dont understand.So how come you dont have a better half to share that beautiful city
His eyes were on me again, narrowed, looking out over a smirk of his own. “As I said,
Vicki, I travel a great deal. That leaves me little time to establish relationships or work on
starting a family. Unfortunately.”
That one word, unfortunately, and the disingenuousness of how Benjamin Kingston used
it, would be the top soil over his grave of lies. I took then to ease into the million-dollar question.
“I guess youve cleared all of my hurdles, Benjamin. You dont seem like a psycho.”
“Im passionate but harmless, Vicki.”
“So what do you want to do tonight?” There it was.
“You mean after we leave here?” he asked without hesitation.
“Yes,” I said, nodding.
I was art on the creamcolored gypsum plaster walls, thats what not-sexy-named
Benjamins eyes spoke to me. “Youre an out-oftowner or you live nearby here, Vicki?”
“I live close by,” I admitted.
“I wont disrespect you by asking you to my hotel room. But maybe we could go to your
place and do our thing?”
“You think getting me is that easy?” I asked. He shook his head. “Quite the opposite. But you do look as if you could use some
company. I want to be that company. Hopefully Ive earned a chance to fill your need.”
“I dont need anything,” I told him.
He wasnt the only one capable of a lie.
“Everybody needs something, Vicki. Especially companionship and love. Theres no
shame in being lonely from time to time.”
“Ive had my fill of players.”
“Only game Im interested in is Love Connection.”
“Mmm,” I sexy-moaned. “Chuck Woolery. Sure youre right.”
“Let me be your Chuck Woolery,” he begged. So deep were his needs and desires hed
probably lie down and bark at the moon and roll over and fetch a rib eye bone if I asked him to.
“So come again,” I said. “Tell me exactly what it is you want from me?”
“You make it sound so selfish, Vicki. Its not what I want. What I want to give.”
“Altruistic are we? Im listening, Robin Hood.”
“Im being serious, Vicki.”
“Youre not being quite clear enough is what youre being
“I want to undress you, sex you, and lay next to you,” he said.
I smiled. “You are
from Chicago. Jesse Jackson wants his Mack returned ASAP.”
“Not nice, Vicki, I was trying to be romantic.”
“Thats right up there with „never trust a big butt and a smile.”
“You can trust me,” he lied.
“Natalia from the Republic of Armenia have a restroom somewhere in here, Benjamin?”
“Turn right by the arrangement of lilies you passed when you first walked in.” His smile belonged to a man without a mortgage and other equally significant
commitments. I noticed the perfect crease of his pants, the high shine of his expensive leather
shoes. His smile belonged to a man that didnt have an attentive wife waiting for him at home.
“Let me go freshen up real quick and we can go to my place,” I said.
Not-sexynamed Benjamins eyes brightened and I wondered if hed ever looked at
Beverly Marie in that manner, and if he had, why he had stopped. Or did he still carry the
pretenses of a truly faithful partner? Did he still kiss his wife in all of her favorite places? Did he
in fact create new favorite places from time to time? Was his wife wondering at that very
moment if she were losing her mind? Makingthings up that didnt exist? Obsessing? Creating
fire where there wasnt even smoke? I myself wondered how a married architect from
Kenilworth, New Jersey became a single architect from Chicago who traveled too much to start a
“Dont keep me waiting too long,” Benjamin said, breaking my thoughts.
Harmony bleated a song out of my sexy walk, my movement one of poetry. Id worked
on the walk forever. It had to encourage duplicity. I looked over my shoulder, caught Beverly
Maries husband watching me. He turned away, not quite bashful, gave the sculpture more study.
I slipped past the arrangement of lilies near the front of the gallery, straight through the
lobby, and out into the cooling air of the evening. The heat from earlier in the day would return
tomorrow. Augusts scorching heat is the only faithful thing in this world of liars and cheaters.
I was at my car, keys in hand, when I felt my shoulder jerk back violently.
“What kind of game are you playing, Vicki?” Not-sexynamed Benjamin lurked over me. There was fire in his eyes but he didnt let it
completely inform his tone. He still held out the hope that Id be letting my kitty off the leash.
He didnt want to ruin his chances. I peered over his shoulder, scanned the lot. The backup Id
never needed before was somewhere out there in the shadows. Ready to pounce at a moments
notice if I didnt smooth my way out of this royal mess.
“Whats going on, Vicki?” Benjamin asked.
I realized I hadnt spoken yet. I gathered my wits.
“I started thinking while I was in the ladies room, and even though Im attracted to you,
I cant go through with this. I was just going to slip out and save myself the embarrassment.”
“Bullshit,” he fumed. “I watched you. You didnt even go in the restroom.”
Cardinal sin number one: giving more information than needed. Id messed up.
“This one night stand business isnt for me, Ben.”
He gripped my wristso quickly I couldnt react. “You enjoy playing with peoples
I tried to wrestle my hand free, but his grip shackled my wrist like cuffs. He moved in
close and pressed me up against my car. An indication of his eagerness to proceed with the
evening as planned poked me in the stomach. I said, “You dont want it like this, Ben. Please.
You dont want to have to take it. Youre much too handsome and debonair and suave for that.”
“Dont patronize me, bitch.”
I raised my leg with a plan to whittle away his expectancy with my knee, but not-sexy
named Benjamin grabbed my ankle and lifted it. I was close to toppling backward. I didnt think
my head and the pavement could be friends. My heart hammered in my chest because of that.
“Is everything alright here?” Not-sexy-named Benjamin wheeled around and faced down the masculine voice. It
belonged to a man that looked as though hed jumped out of a Bronco or Jeep advertisement.
Benjamin made a quick decision. My foot touched ground again. “Everything is copasetic,” he
said to my savior. He then turned to me and brushed off my clothes, smirked, quickly stepped
away, disappearing into the night. In another hour hed be shirtless, lounging on the bed in his
boxers while Beverly Marie massaged his worn muscles. Shed rub him with everything she had
even though her thoughts would be on the revelations, good or bad, to come tomorrow. Women
didnt go halfhearted, even when our broken hearts would be forgiven for a diminished output.
My employer, James Boston, walked over. His long blond locks were tucked inside a
turtleneck. I couldnt understand how he wasnt burning up in that thing. He considered our
investigations rugged work and thought it essential that he was always dressed in the appropriate
attire. For him, usually a dark turtleneck, black Calvin Klein jeans, a pair of scuffed boots.
“Are you okay, V?”
Dark aviator shades, another part of the ensemble, hid his ocean-colored eyes. But I could
still envision the concern in them.
“I blew that one, James. I didnt even notice him coming behind me. I let my guard
“Yeah,” he said. “I need to have a talk with you about the self-defense course I sprung for
you to take last summer. Im not sure I got my value. You were more jujubes than jujitsu.”
I neared tears. My emotions of late had been gumbo. Sad, happy, morose, forlorn.
The pressure of waiting for… James placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, squeezed with just the right amount of
pressure. “Im teasing, V. You did just fine, kiddo. You made Mr. Kingston out for the scumbag
he reallyis. Every fact finding expedition isnt going to go as smoothly as we would like it.”
“Fact finding expedition?” I said, surprised. “Im an anthropologist now, James?”
“Certainly, V. Why not? Ive been thinking long and hard about what you could put on
your curriculum vitae instead of „sexy decoy. Fidelity anthropologist
. Tell me that doesnt have
a nice ring to it.”
“Curriculum vitae,” I said, whistling and ignoring everything else. “Its just raining
intelligent men tonight.”
“Résumé is much too pedestrian for you, V.”
I gestured with my hand.“I feel the love. Keep it coming.”
“You might become conceited. Id hate to plant that ugly flower in you.”
“Not tonight, boss-o. Im in too good of a mood. Benjamin Kingston notwithstanding.”
“The sight of my handsome face?”
I touched my naked finger.“I think tonights the night. He asked to meet up at a very chi-
chi restaurant after work.”
was the man I hoped would be proposing to me.
James attempted a smile. There seemed to be a thought on his lips, but it stayed there.
“My audio was clear at least?” I asked, back on track.
Jamesnodded. “Mrs. Kingston will be pleased.”
“You think so?”
“At least now shell know the truth, V. Thats what were after. The truth. She can have
peace of mind now.” “Peace of mind,” I whispered, touching my wrist. It was already a bit tender.
“You sure youre alright, V?”
I smiled. “Fine. Thanks for covering my butt. Im getting out of here now.”
“Hersheys kisses and an engagement. How wonderful.”
“Hersey, not Hershey,” I corrected. “And stop hating on my man. I dont ever say
anything untoward about the great Chloe Tripp. Doyenne of the South Carolina Tripp girls.”
James whistled. “Doyenne? I do believe Im suitably aroused.”
“Is that so?” I looked down. “I cant tell.”
His laughter was chicken noodle soup.“The doyenne has no complaints.”
“Wow!” I exclaimed. “You two are actually making love now. Keeping things close to
the vest are we nowadays, James? I had no idea. When did Chloe get overher…inhibitions?”
“See if Ill ever share my less than finer moments with you again, V,” James said,
smiling like an adolescent.
“You love me, James.”
“Youre the only one that doubts it,” he said.
“Chloe has a birthday coming up doesnt she?”
“Next Tuesday,” my savior-boss said. “I have some shopping to do.”
“The drop earrings I suggested with the citrines and diamonds, correct?”
“Saving that recommendation for you, kiddo,” he said. “An engagement gift perhaps?”
“Are you now?”
He nodded. “Congratulations are in order. Hersheys a lucky man.”
“Ill give him yourregards,” I said, chirping my car locks, and easing inside my vehicle. I
could actually hear the jostling of Just Married streamers attached to my bumper. “Ill try my best not to object,” James called out. “Ruin your perfect day.”
I blew my savior-boss a kiss as I turned the key in my ignition.
That time Jamesdidnt just attempt a smile, he managed one.
He was still standing there, smiling, as I pulled out of the lot.
The evening had gone horrendously wrong, but Id made it through it relatively
unscathed. If youd asked me at that moment I wouldve told you I finally realized all of the
potential hazards in my line of work. Not-sexy-named Benjamin had opened my eyes wholly.
Yet it wouldve never crossed my mind that I might fall in love with one of the married
men, or, even worse still, that one of them would try to kill me. Neither scenario was plausible to
this soon-to-be-engaged Fidelity anthropologist.
Id find out in due time that my eyes werent as open as I believed.
That a little more digging would unearth more than I ever expected.