Sudetenland Tales by Edward Drobinski - HTML preview
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Sudetenland Tales
Page 437
Dear editor;
I sincerely hope you’ll print this. Not for me, but because I’m certain that many unspoken others have experienced this type of neglect. It is time to put our collective feets down and insist upon fair and equal treatment.
I called ‘Suicide Prevention Lifeline and Ancillary Services’ and they put me on hold again. After ten minutes of Nine Inch Nails musaak, a voice came back with a question.
“Are you still there?”
“Yes.”
“Shit. Figured. ......... Look, you’ve already used up your month’s allocation of ten free suicide chats and you’re living on borrowed time. An unlimited subscription is available for $39.99 per month plus tax, 12 months payable up front. Got your credit card handy?”
“Yeah, but that plastic debt is one of my depressing problems. Won’t this make it worse?”
“Don’t worry. Look at the bright side for a change. If you kill yourself you won’t have to pay it.”
“Cool. Never thought of that.”