Sudetenland Tales by Edward Drobinski - HTML preview

Sudetenland Tales

Page 261

Let’s be clear. Canada’s been ripping us off for years. Lumber, dairy; total disasters. But their land? Huge! And Greenland? Ice is melting, and you know what’s underneath? Minerals. Oil. Gold mines! We’ll make them part of America. If they resist? We’ll send in the greatest military ever built. Nobody wins against us. Nobody.

And the world? It will rightly collapse without us. Europe? Sweating. China? Choking. But America? We’ll be sitting pretty in our new territories; cool, powerful, unstoppable. They’ll all come crawling. ‘Please, President Trump, save us!’ But we’ll say, ‘Sorry, we put America first. You should have thought a little ahead, and learned to swim.’

This is the ultimate deal. Climate change doesn’t exist. But if it does it isn’t our enemy; it’s our weapon. And we will use it to make America the only superpower left. We’re geniuses. The best brains. White. And when we’re done, it’ll be red, White, and blue from pole to pole.

So remember, if and when you see the temperature rise, check your calendar to see if it’s summer. When the weak complain, just know we’re winning. Bigly. Thank you, and God Bless America!”