Narragansett Pier After Midnight by Edward Drobinski - HTML preview

Vampire Conversation

Count Amdis: “Darling, I’ve been thinking ..... “

Thana: “Oh, what is it, my dark and brooding love?”

Count Amdis: “Well, you know how we’ve been together for centuries, and I’ve never really committed to anything permanent.”

Thana: “Permanent? You mean like eternal love?”

Count Amdis: “No, no. I mean tattoos.”

Thana: “Tattoos? Amdis, you’re immortal. Why would you want a tattoo?”

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Count Amdis: “I’ve been browsing Pinterest, and I’ve seen some really cool designs. Like, imagine a bat with a tiny coffin on its back. Or a skull with fangs.”

Thana: “Amdis, you realize that tattoos are for mortals, right?”

Count Amdis: “But think about it! A little heart with a stake through it on my bicep. Or a garlic clove on my ankle.”

Thana: “You’re a creature of the night, Amdis. You feast on blood and sleep in a coffin. Tattoos won’t make you edgier.”

Count Amdis: “But what if I got a moon and stars on my neck?

It’d be like a cosmic vampire collar.”

Thana: “Amdis, you’re centuries old. You don’t need a cosmic collar. You need therapy.”

Count Amdis: “Fine, fine. Maybe I’ll just get a tiny bat on my wrist. Something subtle.”

Thana: “Subtle? Amdis, you’re a walking Gothic novel. You’re not fooling anyone.”

Count Amdis: “Okay, okay. Maybe I’ll just stick to my usual look; pale skin, sharp fangs, and a cape.”

Thana: “That’s the spirit. Now, let’s go terrorize some villagers.”

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Count Amdis: “And afterward, maybe we can get matching fang tattoos.”

Thana: “Oh, Amdis. You’re impossible.”

In the shadowed vale of Narragansett Town, where the moon hung heavy in a velvet sky, there was a section of a town nearby that had not known the warmth of sunlight for centuries. This was the domain of Count Amdis, a vampire of ancient lineage, whose estate perched like a brooding raven on the pier with a full view of the town.

Some of the townsfolk of Narragansett Town spoke in hushed tones of the nights when the bats would come, a dark cloud of flapping wings and piercing eyes that filled the sky. It was said that these were no ordinary bats, but the transformed minions of

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Count Amdis, sent to remind the people of his eternal watch over them. Others thought it was all a bullshit conspiracy theory, concocted by internet websites which wanted everyone to stay home and search for nothing.

One fateful evening, as the crimson hue of twilight bled into the horizon, an ominous wind began to howl through the streets.

Doors were barred, candles snuffed out, and prayers to Mark Zuckerberg were whispered fervently as the first of the bats swooped low over the town. Their shadows danced upon the walls like specters, and the air was filled with the sound of their leathery wings.

Many people cowered in their homes, fearing to even peek through the curtains, lest they catch the eye of the vampire lord. Tales had been passed down through two generations of those who had vanished, spirited away by the bats, never to be seen again, except on Youtube.

But amidst the terror, there was one in particular who did not fear the night or its winged heralds. Young Lena, with hair as black as raven feathers and eyes that sparkled like the stars, stepped out into the open square. She was not like the others; she had been born during an eclipse and possessed a courage that was unmatched.

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As the bats descended upon her, she stood her ground, her voice clear and unwavering as she spoke an ancient incantation known only to her family. The air shimmered around her, and one by one, the bats began to retreat, their forms shifting and twisting until they were but mere shadows that faded into the night.

Word of Lena’s bravery spread like wildfire, and soon, Count Amdis himself became intrigued. He had not encountered such a fearless soul in all his centuries. One night, he appeared before her, not as a fearsome beast, but as a gentleman clad in a cloak as dark as the abyss.

“You have something that I have long since lost, young Lena,” he said, his voice a melodic whisper. “The courage to stand against the darkness.”

Lena met his gaze, her heart steady. “And you have something I seek, my lord,” she replied. “The power to end this curse upon my town.”

A pact was struck that night, one that would see Count Amdis agree to relinquish his hold over the bats and the town, in exchange for Lena’s promise to visit his castle once a year, on the night of the eclipse, to remind him of the darkness that still existed in the world.

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And so, the town of Narragansett was freed from the terror of the bats, and in the days that followed, a fragile peace settled between the vampire lord and the people. Lena became a legend, her story a beacon of hope that even in the darkest of nights, courage could shine the brightest.

But, he lied and soon the terror re-commenced.

The Count and his countless bats swooped, making some of the residents of Narragansett Town re-evaluate their feelings about Lena, now considering her just another niggardly fifteen minute wonder.

Count Amdis, leaning against a coffin: “Thana, my love, do you ever wonder why we vampires are so misunderstood?”

Thana, deadpanning with an incredulous tone: “Don’t you realize?

It’s that you’re jumping all over the place, with no discernable consistent plot line, at the risk that recent research shows that three quarters of the dummies will insist upon simple coherence. Taking this in another direction, are you now indicating to me that you want to be popular? What happened to the Count Amdis I first met, who told me that if he were popular he’d know for certain that he was trite. After all this time,

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please don’t now tell me that you’re interested in fang blockers.”

Count Amdis: “You may not know that keeping these things sharp isn’t exactly a natural process. It takes the mind deadening vigor of the likes of a Mark Leyner or one of his poor wannabees to keep up appearances for the fake amused benefit of only the samizdat, MFA, New-Yorker-type reviewers.”

Thana, painting her nails with blood red polish: “Count Amdis, darling, you’re over intellectualizing. It’s merely because we’re nocturnal creatures who drink blood and have an aversion to garlic. Plus, the whole immortality thing tends to freak people out.”

Count Amdis: “True, true. ..... More or less, on a simplistic level. But honestly, I think it’s our fashion choices. Capes, ruffled shirts, and those pointy boots. No wonder humans think we’re the second coming of the Beatles.”

Thana, giggling: “And don’t forget the dramatic entrances. You know, swooping down from the rafters like a gothic chandelier.

It’s a wonder we don’t get tangled in cobwebs.”

Count Amdis: “Speaking of cobwebs, Thana, have you noticed how they’re the ultimate vampire home decor? I mean, who needs IKEA when you can just drape everything in spider silk?”

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Thana, fluffing her hair: “Agreed! And let’s not forget our favorite pastime; brooding. Nothing says ‘eternal torment’ like staring out a window while it rains. Bonus points if you’re holding a goblet of blood.”

Count Amdis: “Ah, yes. The goblet. It’s like our version of a Starbucks cup. ‘Grande Blooduccino, please. Extra plasma.’”

Thana, leaning in closer: “Count Amdis, do you ever wish we could just blend in with humans? You know, go to a regular coffee shop and order a pumpkin spice latte without causing a scene?”

Count Amdis, sighing: “Thana, my dear, we’re centuries old.

We’ve seen empires rise and fall. We’ve witnessed the invention of the selfie stick. We can’t just ‘blend in.’ Besides, our Instagram game would be weak. #EternalNightlife.”

Thana: “Fair point. But sometimes I dream of a simpler life.

Maybe open a blood bank together. ‘Count Amdis and Thana’s O-Negative Emporium.’”

Count Amdis, clasping her hand: “Thana, you complete me. Our love is like a stake through the heart; painful yet oddly satisfying.”

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Thana, batting her eyelashes: “And when we kiss, it’s like fireworks exploding in a graveyard. Sparks, fangs, and a hint of glorious decay.”

Count Amdis, nuzzling her neck: “Speaking of glorious decay, darling, have you tried the new artisanal blood popsicles?

They’re all the rage in Transylvania.”

Thana, licking her lips: “Oh, Count Amdis, you know the way to my heart; or at least the general vicinity.”

Count Amdis, whispering: “Thana, will you be my forever ghoulfriend?”

Thana, smiling: “Count Amdis, I’d follow you into the abyss. But first, let’s raid the fridge. I’m craving some midnight snacks; maybe a bat shaped cookie or a vial of vintage Type A.”

Count Amdis, taking her hand: “Agreed. And Thana?”

Thana: “Yes, my dark prince?”

Count Amdis, leaning in: “I vant to thuck your ...... strawberry smoothie.” He winks.

And so, in the moonlight, Count Amdis and Thana continued their banter, proving that even immortal creatures can find love in the darkest corners of existence.

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