Damaged Goods by Diane McNab - HTML preview

CHAPTER TWELVE

JANE MEETING ZAC

Jane arrived at Zac's home and noticed that his garden resembled Summer's with wild flowers in no set arrangement. The walkway to the door displayed a beautiful water feature bubbling as if to welcome anyone arriving. All in all it was lovely.

Jane stood at the door mentally telling herself not to have a panic attack. When she rung the door bell it seemed to ring so loud she felt herself cringing inside.

The door opened and lo and behold a gorgeous little dog jumped on to Jane with excitement enough for ten kids on Xmas morning.

“Louie, Louie, come here.”

With that a handsome young man picked up the dog explaining “Sorry he loves guests, as you can gather. I am Zac and obviously you are Jane.” He extended his hand and the two of them shook.

Jane felt quite uncomfortable. Obviously she had not known what to expect meeting a sibling for the first time but felt a hand shake just didn't cut it for her. Zac's Mother and bestie had been far more welcoming.

“Well come in. I thought we might sit out on the back deck as it is a beautiful day. I have fixed a cheese platter and drinks for us. Do you like wine or would you prefer something else, tea, coffee?”

“Wine would be wonderful” replied Jane thinking she needed a drink (a double scotch would be better but beggars can't be choosers).

Zac poured them a wine throwing a tit bit to Louie to calm him down.

“How old is Louie?” asked Jane.

“Oh he has just turned two. My partner Alex and I decided to get him after we bought this house. We both felt it would make it more like a home and I reckon it worked” and for the first time Zac actually smiled and Jane noticed the similarities between him and his Mother.

“He is adorable” Jane said honestly.

There was a dreadful moment of deathly silence between them when they both blurted out in unison “Why did you want to meet?”

“You go first” Zac said.

“I would prefer if you went first” said Jane looking at her Brother hopefully.

“Well I don't think meeting you was a decision I came to on my own. When I first heard about you my partner Alex wouldn't let go of it, almost like a dog with a bone, saying it would be good for me to settle some issues that had obviously arisen and that I needed to deal with. Basically that's it in a nutshell. Truthfully I went to ring you several time, just never managing to hit the last digit, couldn't find the balls to go through with it, until two days ago.”

“Well that's an honest answer and one I appreciate. I mean that”. Jane said “So I am going to be honest with you and if you want to kick me out feel free to do so. I have known about you a lot longer than you have known about me. I only learned of your existence at the reading of my Father's will and to tell you the truth it knocked me for six. In fact I think I buried it for a while not wanting to recognise that you were out there, a real person, someone I should have known for years. My boss at the time was going through an illness which didn't leave her much time and she decided she wanted to groom me to replace her so I put you on the back burner. That is something I am truly sorry for. Perhaps I put my career ahead of what I could actually call family. I can leave now if you want?”

“No, don't leave. I reckon I was a bit abrupt on your arrival. I knew things had changed between me and Dad when he found out I was gay, though it was never a conversation he had with me personally. He just disappeared off the planet and Mum said she wouldn't be seeing him again. Of course she said that he was still my Father and I could reach out to him whenever I wanted to.”

“I tried to call him several times but he never answered and eventually I gave up.”

“When Mum told me he had died I guess I expected something. Not money, nothing like that, just a little thing that said he had loved me before I had gone off the rails so to speak.”

Jane looked sad, obviously trying to hold back tears.

Zac said “Lets keep talking. Did your Mum know about mine do you think?”

“I don't know the answer to that. Perhaps she had moments where she may have suspected something. After all Father sometimes did not show his face for days, but on saying that you have to understand we enjoyed it when he wasn't there” Jane said candidly.

“What do you mean?” asked Zac.

“Well when Father was around the whole home took on a new persona. We all tip toed around taking the meaning don't poke the bear to a whole new level. Why, wasn't he like that with you?”

Zac grinned saying “Looking back I reckon he might have tried to be but Mum would sort that out in one hot minute so he never stood a chance. Obviously our Mother's are completely different women. Whoa your crying Jane, Jesus, I didn't mean to upset you,”

“I am fine Zac, just fine, I just wish my Mother had stood up to him and found her feet before she gave up,”

Before anything more could be said Zacs's partner Alex arrived.

“Lovely” said Alex “ managed to get your Sister to cry already. Come here and give me a hug Jane.”

Jane let herself be enveloped by Alex's enormous arms and apologised for her behaviour.

“No need to apologise, this one has got as much tact as a boy on a school bus” Alex said.

Later the siblings attempted to catch up on each others lives, obviously in short form or they would be talking for years.

Alex said he would go elsewhere but Jane said “Please don't leave Alex. If I had a partner I would probably like that person to stay with me.”

Alex raised his eyebrows looking directly at Zac. “Sit down you big hulk for goodness sake” Zac said.

“Earlier you said your Mum had given up, what did you mean saying that?” asked Zac.

“My Mother committed suicide a year after I had started boarding at High School.”

Both men looked at each other with a horrified expression on their faces.

Zac was speechless so Alex intervened “Did she leave a letter or, I don't know, something to let you know why? If you don't want to answer trust me I understand.”

“Its ok. Actually its almost freeing to be able to talk about it.” Jane then proceeded to let them know about how she found the letter (with the precious ring) in her Father's safe while going through his papers after his demise.

Zac shouted out “What a Bastard, what a cruel thing to do. It would have probably been better if he had thrown the letter out, not waiting for you to find it until after his death.”

“No, I am glad he didn't throw it out Zac. The letter was the final thing my Mother gave me and the ring I wear around my neck is a constant reminder I was loved very much.”

“My Father had found out at my birth I was not the perfect child he had hoped for and so perhaps for him it was his revenge in a manner of speaking, reminding me of my failings.” said Jane sadly

.She explained her inability to ever have children and because of such her Father had not seen her as a 'whole' woman saying “He actually considered me to be damaged goods.”

Zac exclaimed “My God my heart bleeds for you. Its hard to comprehend. Here you are, an extremely successful woman but with all the shit that has gone on in your life how have you coped”?”

“Trust me I have had my days but I decided a long time ago that my Father would not replace my Mother by making me wear her shoes. I would not allow the same scenario to be played out with me as it had with her. I learned I was made of a lot sterner stuff.”

“Can I see the ring please?” asked Zac.

Jane removed the chain from her neck placing the ring in Zac's hands. Both men looked at it declaring it beautiful.

“My Granny Agnes said it was worth more than all the crown jewels she had ever seen on any Queen” declared Jane smiling.

By this point it was extremely late and Zac asked “Why don't you stay the night?”

“Thanks, I would love to, but what between you and your Mother I am going to have to invest in a new overnight bag” laughed Jane.

In the morning before leaving Jane said to Zac “It is time to repair broken fences, you should talk to your Mum, sooner than later.”

“You are right, Mum had her reasons and I guess I haven't really let her explain them to me, it's just tough.”

“You are telling me” said Jane kissing him and Alex goodbye and getting a good lick all over her face from Louie.

A couple of days passed and Zac rang Jane letting her know he had called his Mum and that they had settled their differences.

“Thanks for the advice Sis, I am so glad I did it.”

Jane hung up the phone elated Zac had called her Sis.