Damaged Goods by Diane McNab - HTML preview

CHAPTER TWO

I was soon turning 13 years old.

Father had rung ahead one night announcing he had news to share and would expect us for dinner at 7.00pm sharp. As we had never broken that particular curfew in preceding years the call seemed ominous. I noticed my Mother taking a huge deep breath and hugged her and said it might not be too bad.

Father announced after dinner “Jane you are starting secondary school after the Xmas break, and I have arranged what school you will be attending.”

“I was hoping to be attending Mitchigon as several of my friends are going there” I said.

“Well what you hope for and what you receive can be two entirely different things, keep that in mind” he said. “I have managed to pull a few strings and you will be attending Bradbury Park.”

A pin could have dropped in the room and we would have heard a symphony.

My Mother stood up so violently her dining chair fell backwards. “No Grayson, that is so far away, are you saying she will be boarding there?”

“Yes my dear that is exactly what I am saying. It will do her good. She is now at an age you should not molly coddle her any longer. For God's sake pick up your chair. That's my final say” and with that he got up and left the room.

My Mother went to sit in her chair but forgetting she had upended it fell on to the floor where she erupted in to tears.

I called out for Lily and we picked my Mother up from the floor and replaced her seat before firmly placing her in to it. Mum explained to Lily what had just happened.

“It might not be a bad thing for Jane to get away from her Father's influence and allow herself to have friends, maybe even enjoy life. It won't be easy for you, I know that Alice, but I am not going anywhere and I will be around to help you through the rough patches” said Lily.

My Mother nodded her head and apologised to me for making a spectacle of herself.

“Don't be silly Mum. Besides I am going to treat this whole thing as an adventure” I said not feeling as nearly as brave as I sounded.

“That's the spirit” said Lily.

Alice helped herself to a couple of more wines before saying she was going to bed.

Two days later my Father spoke to my Mother saying that now I would be attending boarding school they no longer needed a Nanny and that in fact Lily had been a dead weight for years. My Mother stood up to him and said “If Lily goes I go to” with such sheer determination on her face that my Father was taken aback,

When he replied that things would remain as they were for the time being my Mother quickly left the room hardly believing she had won the battle she was so sure was about ensue, unaware my Father had other things on his mind at the time.

THE SECRET

Two weeks after the event in the dining room I could hear my parents arguing. I was unable to hear what my Father was saying as he was obviously talking in his low controlled voice.

Suddenly I heard my Mother shout “Damaged goods, how you can even say that. What kind of Father are you?”

After that I could not hear anything, only my Mother crying as she passed my room.

I lay in the dark feeling miserable, not understanding what my Father had meant with that phrase regarding me but realised it had caused my Mother grief.

Before I was due to leave for Bradbury Park my Father requested my presence in his study.

He was short, curt, straight to the point.

“You are becoming a young Woman now Jane and before you leave for school there are some things you should know.”

He turned his laptop around to face me and on the screen was a females anatomy. “When you attend school some of the girls around you will experience a change in their bodies. They will start to go through menstruation which will result in them having a period.”

Seriously. Was my Father giving me a talk about periods and if so why not my Mother? She had never uttered a word on the subject. I was not completely blind to the matter, Lily handing me girls magazines on the sly but I was astounded that it was my Father having the conversation with me.

My Father carried on completely oblivious to the fact that I was almost in a state of shock.

“However this bodily function will never happen to you as you were born without a uterus. That is probably best kept as a secret so people are unaware that you are, well, different. I imagine it may affect you later in life but whom you wish to share that information with when you are older will be your decision.”

So I would never have children. I was damaged goods!