Ghost Dancing by Rex Patrick Haire, Ph.D. - HTML preview

nodded. I said, “I meant no disrespect to you or anyone else. I was afraid you were gone forever when you said you would see Amy in the next world.”

“I have not abandoned you.”

“Thank you for being my friend.” He patted my leg several times in his heavy-handed, affectionate way and withdrew.

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Chapter Twenty:

The Navajo Seer

The following day we were occasionally joined by ravens on the long drive to Aztec. After waking from a nap, Marjie said, “I dreamed of three golden fish swimming in a stream. They were very happy. They were talking with each other about the last wet season and eating small, orange colored balls. I don’t know what those were.”

I said, “Some people use orange salmon eggs to catch fish.”

“There were three crows in the trees that grew by the stream.

They knew the story of the land around there and were telling it to the fish. The story was also contained in the land itself. The fish were learning the story and would eventually tell it to others. One would be the narrator, one would be the singer, and one would shake the rattle.”

“Maybe the three fish represent you, me, and Amy, and the three crows are Red Cloud, Tanner, and Didiwahtay.”

At the visitor center of Aztec Ruins we watched a film about the Anasazi that aroused deep emotions of lost beauty in each of us.

When we began our tour Tanner was our guide. At the first ruined chamber, Amy had visions of the suffering ancient ones, causing her to weep. Tanner consoled her, explained the events she saw, and remained at her side most of the time we were there.

I was sitting on the floor sill of a T- shaped opening between relatively intact chambers when Tanner took a small chink of stone from one of the walls and handed it to me. “Do not forget these were my people and this was my home.” Pointing at a wall, he said,

“Put your hand on stones. What stories they tell you?”

Doing as he said, I visualized the happiness and harmony the people had shared and felt their deep love for one another. I grieved over losing the beautiful way of life I had experienced in 315

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another lifetime. Tanner said, “Now sing the Ha Ha song for them.” Amy had previously sung the happy, simple melody while repeating the word Ha again and again. Through choking tears, I managed to sing the first couple of ha has, and felt my spirits lifting.

My voice grew stronger with each repetition of the song, which I intentionally sang for the benefit of any remaining spirits to let them know all was now well. When finished I said to them, “The love you shared for each other will not be lost. It will be carried to the New Earth, where it will endure forever.”

Tanner said, “That is good.”

I followed him to a roofless compartment where Amy, eyelids fluttering, stood with her back against a stone wall illuminated by Sol’s light. In one of his several attempts to mend the rift between us, Tanner said, “Both of you sing Ha Ha song.” Performing spiritual acts together always made me feel better about being with her.

Our singing finished, I stepped into the plaza and looked at the sky, where two buzzards circled above us. We continued our tour.

A few minutes later Tanner pointed to the sky and said, “There are nine.” It occurred to me that Mishaka/9, his counterpart in 8’s dimension, might have arranged this.

We entered the Great Kiva. With a diameter of 48 feet, it is the biggest fully restored kiva in the United States. I estimated its inside height to be around twenty feet, two thirds of which are below ground level. The log roof structure is supported by four columns arranged in a square and are connected at their tops by four huge logs. Three or four stone discs about four feet in diameter and eight inches thick are stacked like pancakes near the base of each column.

Others like them serve as underground foundations below each column. Rectangular adobe containers about two feet deep, two feet wide and six feet long are placed on two opposite sides of the square space framed by the corner columns. A square adobe fire box with walls about three feet high and four feet long stands in the middle of the kiva floor. The interior wall of the circular above ground chamber has T-shaped doorways to the interior, below which ladder rungs built into the kiva’s wall descend to the floor.

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Except for invisible spiritual entities, the kiva was empty when we entered. A whisper could be heard anywhere within this space that contained intense spiritual energy and evoked deep, reverential emotions. Tanner and Amy descended a stairway to the floor while I stood at its landing, planning to film them walking arm in arm around the circle, but Tanner frowned and shook his head at me. I put the camera away and walked to the floor. I examined the architecture for a few minutes and sat on a stack of stone discs while they continued walking until they reached me.

Tanner said the discs I sat upon were talking stones where storytellers used to sit. “If you put your ears to them and listen, you will hear their stories.” Kneeling, I embraced the top stone and listened. So did Amy on a different stack. I heard no words but tears filled my eyes when I felt the great love contained in those stones and in the ancient ceremonies conducted in the kiva. Tanner was also weeping. I stood up and hugged him. We sat on my stack of stones while Amy listened to hers. He rocked back and forth in time with the beat of Marjie’s heart and said, “Sing the Ha Ha song for the spirits.”

I began to sing just as a park ranger entered with a tour group.

She stopped talking and politely listened, as did the members of her group. Though self-conscious, I closed my eyes and continued to sing an improvised melody until I sensed it was time to stop. The ranger said, “Thank you for that.” Turning to face the tourists, she added, “Many people of Native American descent still regard this as a sacred place and come here to perform rituals.” She looked at me again and said, “Thank you again. The song was very beautiful.” Tanner smiled. Marjie later said one of the listening women wept.

Arm in arm, Tanner and Amy strolled around the interior again while I admired its construction. When they rejoined me I asked Tanner, “What were the long containers used for?”

“For fires and for walking on fire.” I had not realized his people were firewalkers.

Amy wept again as we left the kiva and followed Tanner to one of the ruined compartments facing the central plaza. He said, “This 317

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where I lived with my sister many years.” He pointed at a lizard crawling on the wall. “See? She is here now.” To Amy he said, “Do not feel sorry for the spirits who remain here. They must stay here if this is to remain a sacred place. They keep it sacred.”

We were walking toward the exit when Tanner stopped and asked Amy, who was again walking alone, to join us. He lightly brushed her from head to toe with a leafy, flexible branch he took from a bush beside the path and said, “This will cleanse you.” He also brushed me and I brushed him.

As we resumed our walk I asked, “Why did your people leave this place?”

“White man’s sickness killed many. Our medicine could not cure it. Three or four hundred of us went north to get away from it.

Many died on the trail. The farther we went, less died. When no more died, we lived in that country.” He picked up a sliver of stone and put it inside one of Marjie’s socks. “This will be a reminder of this place. It holds traces of many of my people who walked here,”

and withdrew.

When we reached the car Marjie complained, “My ankle’s burning. I think something stung me.” She pulled the sock down.

Finding Tanner’s stone, she exclaimed, “Where did this come from?

It’s hot!”

“Tanner put it there to remind us of this place. It’s full of traces.”

“It sure is. My ankle is still tingling.”

We were headed for Chaco Culture National Historical Park when Didiwahtay, who had followed us in a raven, said, “Hello, Dada.”

“Hello, Didiwahtay! It’s so good to hear your voice again.”

“I am back. I will go home with you in a bird. I like flying in ravens.”

“That’s great news. It makes us happy when you are near us.”

“I will go fly some more. Didiwahtay loves Dada and Mama.”

“We love you too, and always will.”

Near Bloomfield, New Mexico, Amy said, “I burned my Mary candle last night. I wanted to have some of that good Mary energy with us.” We turned a corner and saw big sign that said Mary’s 318

Café, making us all laugh. We laughed even more upon seeing its address was 109 Salmon Street, and a short distance away a road sign indicated that the Salmon Ruins were nearby. Later that day I found a stone with irregularities on its flat side that closely resembled a fish beside a fish egg. It was impossible to believe that finding so many physical things resembling the elements of her and Marjie’s dreams had happened by chance.

After lunch at Mary’s Café we toured the Salmon Ruins but were disappointed by its poor condition. In several places, sheets of black plastic lay on top of partially excavated walls. Tanner spit on one of them and said, “There is a bad spirit here. It stinks. Spit into center of kiva. Show what you think of the white man’s stink.” I did.

After Amy made an offering of tobacco, I videotaped them walking side by side. Tanner tottered along like a feeble old man.

He got up slowly after turning Marjie’s ankle on a stone and said, with a smile, “Tanner old, can’t walk good.” Luckily, the ankle wasn’t sprained.

At the entrance to the gift shop I taped a four and a half foot long bull snake slithering between my feet. Amy said, “There’s a Kachina spirit in that snake.” Nuke joined me in shopping for souvenirs to give Amy. Nuke gave her a beret decorated with a black and white Indian design and I gave her a black T-shirt picturing a white buffalo charging toward the viewer. She was delighted with them.

We took Highway 550 south to Chaco Canyon, where we explored ruins for almost three hours. At intervals, Tanner walked around shaking the rattle made from a sheep’s bladder we had bought. Marjie and Amy were fascinated with the designs on innumerable pottery shards found everywhere. From time to time, Didiwahtay joined us in a raven’s body.

Although the ruins were impressive, I was more interested in trying to find the powerful container Candace and Mishaka said was hidden in a Chaco Wash cavern. Hoping to get there in time to search before it got dark, I drove as fast as possible on a dirt and gravel road filled with ruts, pot holes, drop offs, and wash outs to 319

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reach the main highway. Nuke and I enjoyed the twisting and turning to avoid obstacles, especially when we were barely airborne at the tops of steep hills. Shortly after we reached pavement and had turned east toward the wash, the lowering sun’s rays made the wall of rain falling from a small thunderstorm turn all the colors of the spectrum without forming a rainbow.

We just had to stop when we saw a middle aged Indian couple selling snow cones from the hood of their Ford Pinto in the middle of nowhere. As we chose from a large variety of flavors, I asked the woman how to get to Pueblo Alto, which our map showed was close to Chaco Wash. She insisted there was nothing of interest to see there and urged us to go to Gallup, but I had no intention of giving up so easily.

Most of the lightly graveled side roads had no signposts, so I estimated the distance to the road we needed by closely looking at a detailed map and landmarks. At a likely intersection, I stopped to re-examine the map and noticed that the side road I wanted went past Tanner Lake! At the road I thought was right, I asked the clerk at the roadside store if the road went by Tanner Lake. He said it was named for a local rancher but there was no point in going there because it had dried up. We took that road anyway and soon passed Tanner Lake, which wasn’t dried up after all. Apparently the Chaco River or one of its tributaries had been dammed to create the lake. After a while, we came to a fork in the road where Marjie pointed to the left and said, “Tanner says home is that way.”

The empty road led through semi-desert toward a mesa a couple of miles away. We stopped to take pictures of a mother donkey and her two babies feeding on the sparse grass in a gully. Shortly after that the snow cone couple passed us in their Pinto. We wondered if a desire to avoid a tourist invasion had caused them and the store clerk to discourage our exploration. A little farther along Amy said,

“I just had a vision of a hidden driveway we should look for.”

At the base of the mesa Marjie said, “Tanner wants you to slow down. He says to stop here.” I pulled into the barely visible trail through tall brush and, in view of the inhospitable attitude of the locals, parked where the car was not likely to be spotted by 320

passersby. When we got out of the car Tanner began to channel. He led Amy and me up the trail toward the mesa’s top, warning us to keep a sharp eye out for snakes and to carefully follow in his footsteps. He picked up a blue, quartz-like shard that looked as if it was broken from the base of a man made container and said, “This made by Indians who lived here long ago.” Its edges were too sharp to be hand formed. I said, “The people who made this had more advanced technology than mainstream archaeologists would admit.” Tanner said they did.

The thick, dry country brush thinned out as the easygoing trail approached the mesa’s stone summit. Pieces of petrified wood lay scattered all around us. The mesa terminated at a nearly vertical cliff bordering Chaco Wash far below. Tanner sat on a convenient outcrop near the mesa’s edge and said, “Sit with me and look.” He slowly shook his rattle as we comfortably sat without speaking, surrounded by miles of unspoiled country. A complete absence of trash suggested that few modern humans had visited this pristine spot.

Amy said, “This is the place where I’m supposed to make offerings with things my friends gave me. I have seen a vision of a young man and a woman here.”

Marjie said, “I don’t know why, but this place feels like home to me. I know it’s our home.”

Tanner kept shaking his rattle while several yards away, Amy laid scraps of paper and small trinkets on the ground and shook her rattle over them. I followed when Tanner stood up and walked toward her. A sidewinder snake about a foot and a half long sounded a warning buzz from beside a fallen tree. I tried to take a picture of it but it slithered under the tree’s roots as Tanner joined me. He poked at it with a stick trying to make it come out but it slid into a stone crevice. I said, “Let him be. I don’t want a picture bad enough to bother him.”

We were exploring the mesa top when Amy joined us, opened her fist, and revealed a hollow, rust-colored stone about the size of a large, lopsided marble and a “top” of the same mineral that fit over its opening.

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She said, “This is significant.”

Many similar projections ranging in size from the small one she held to some as big as door knobs were scattered about the sandstone mesa top, most of them still attached to it. Tanner said,

“This is the container you searched for!”

Nuke said, “It isn’t what you expected, is it?”

“It’s totally different from the one Candace described. It wasn’t found in a cave, it wasn’t on a tripod, it wasn’t sealed, it isn’t a disk, there’s no light coming out of it, and there weren’t any visible guards around it. If this truly is the container, it suggests that everything Candace said about the crashed UFO and the Viking ship and the container hidden in Chaco Wash might be wrong, and if so, why didn’t Tanner contradict her?”

“It may seem insignificant but I warn you it’s not, and this little lady here (Amy) knows how to activate it. When it is activated it will create quite a show. Now let’s see if you’re going to fight over possession.”

My level of frustration couldn’t have been much higher. Instead of the high adventure I had anticipated for months, this trip had been mostly a dud, and Nuke suggesting that I would argue over possession of the container irritated me even more. I said, “I’m a little bit insulted that you think I would fight over it. Amy found it and she knows how to activate it, so it seems only logical that it’s hers to keep. I don’t care who has it as long as it’s activated at the right time.”

“When you decide to activate it you should gather as many people around as you possibly can so they can see it.”

I believed that this ordinary looking container could be very powerful, for Nuke had once created a star from a microscopic particle. I didn’t understand why he said we would choose when to activate it. I would never do that without orders from I AM.

The sun was about to set and thunderheads were approaching from the west when Tanner said, “It’s time to leave. We do not want to be here after dark. Too many spirits come out at night to play tricks.” He warned Amy to be very careful where she stepped as he led us back to the car by a different path. He said, “Take as much 322

of the petrified wood as you like. It’s the mesa’s gift to you.” We gathered several pieces.

As we drove away Marjie said, “Our work is done. The rest of our trip is for play.”

“Aren’t we supposed to go to the Hopi Reservation?”

“Yes, but that isn’t work.”

The golden rays of a lowering sun framed distant black clouds that blessed the desert with sheets of purple rain and issued giant bolts of explosive lightning. We accompanied each spectacular flash with exclamations of “Oooh! and Aaah!” I was reminded of Chief Joseph, whose Indian name means Thunder Rolling in the Mountains.

After spending the night in Gallup we drove westward to the Keams Canyon Trading Post. Amy caught a brief glance of an orange orb pacing us. Our aged road map indicated the trading post was located on the huge Navajo Reservation and that the Hopi reservation was close by. At the post, Marjie and I browsed through a wide variety of Indian handcrafts and other goods. After buying a few souvenirs, we found Amy in the foyer talking to a Navajo man named Eddie Yahzee. He said he had brought a Kachina doll to be sold in the trading post and asked what had brought us there.

When he heard we were on a spiritual journey to the Hopi reservation he shook his head and said, “You’ll be walking away from Spirit if you go down that way.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because they are Hopis. Anyhow, you’re already there.”

“Our map indicates their reservation is farther west.”

“Not any more. Even though Navajos have owned this land for many generations, the Bureau of Indian Affairs changed the boundary of the Hopi Reservation to include Keams Canyon, and we are very angry about it. We have no intention of leaving our homes and we don’t intend to let the Hopi Tribal Council order us around or to seek services from them.” Navajo resentment was very understandable, but the Hopis had apparently occupied this area for centuries before the reservation boundaries were erroneously drawn by white conquerors. Time and time again the U. S.

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government has changed reservation boundaries in violation of treaties promising they would be honored forever. Eddie continued, “If you’re seeking Spirit, you should come to my house.

If you give me a ride home, I’ll show you how Navajos connect with Spirit. I’m in training to become a singer, or what you would call a medicine man. It takes years to learn all the songs and rituals.”

I marveled at the precise coordination of events that led us to meet a Navajo shaman who volunteered to share his practices on a recently created extension of the Hopi reservation. Didi had said the Hopi were not his people. Did his ancestors live in the Four Corners area before the Hopis and the Navajos did?

Eddie directed us to a dirt road leading to the top of a mesa where several Navajo dwellings were scattered among pinon pines and sparse brush. His isolated, six sided hogan was made with lumber and plywood instead of the traditional logs. An outhouse was located a few yards to the north and two beautiful stallions were separated by small metal corrals several yards west of his house.

We entered the sunswept hogan through its single, east facing door, finding it much cooler inside than expected. It was about twenty feet in diameter and had a small, wood burning cook stove at its center. Jewelry making tools and work samples lay atop a workbench on the north wall. Other furnishings included a small sofa, a recliner, a chest of drawers and a bed.

Our cheerful, entertaining host spoke with the practiced ease of a tour guide, causing me to wonder if he expected to be paid for his performance. His standard of living suggested he could certainly use the money. Marjie was fascinated with everything he said while amusing us with a brief autobiography. He said his mother was an alcoholic who wouldn’t stay at home and take care of him, so his grandparents and uncles had raised him and taught him Navajo ways. He was a good student and received a full scholarship to Columbia Military Academy, but he didn’t get to use it because his family couldn’t afford the cost of transportation and bed linens.

Instead of college, he entered the army, became a paratrooper, and did covert work in Cambodia during the Vietnam war. After that, 324

he became a champion calf roper and bronc rider who performed in all the major rodeos, won third place in a national hoop-dancing contest, and had been an extra in movies featuring Indians.

Unfortunately, he also became an alcoholic, a gambler, and the black sheep of his family.

“I once settled down with a woman and had several children by her. I tried to live the life of a Navajo father and family man. I devoted all my attention to my job and my family like a good Navajo until one day I came home and they were gone. I found out later she went off with another man. When I saw her again and she tried to explain why she left like that, I told her she must have had her reasons and she did right to go. I still have contact with my children and some of them come to visit me.

“Family is very important to a Navajo, and all your relatives think they have something to say about how you act and what you do. My sister lives right across the field and I have other relatives living near here. I lived with her for a while after my wife left but I got tired of that and decided I wanted to live alone.”

Age, broken bones, arthritis and alcohol took their toll. “I finally realized that the only place I was going to find real love was where my ancestors had their fires. I was flat broke and had no money for building a home or for anything else, so I camped here, where my grandparents used to have a hogan. I decided to get sober and try the way of the Navajo medicine man. Elders encouraged me to do it. My uncles built this hogan for me in eleven days. I have been living here for seven years, studying the Dineh way under the guidance of the elders.

“I have a reputation. People come here any time of the day or night when they want my help and I do ceremonies for them. I don’t follow the same ritual with each one; I let spirit be my guide.

Some things I do on impulse, depending on whatever I feel is needed at the time. A ceremony may last only a few minutes or can take several hours. I never know until after I get started what it’s going to take. Sometimes I cure sickness and sometimes I help with emotional problems. I began to see I was a kind of psychologist like you, only I get supernatural help with my cures.”

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Eddie made custom jewelry and leather clothing for wealthy people who were impressed with his work. “When I start to make a piece I usually don’t stop until I’m completely finished with it. I will work on something for twenty four hours or even longer until it is done. Sometimes I work on several things at once, especially if they are similar things like buckles or rings. I will finish a step on all the pieces before I go to the next step.” His home had been broken into on four different occasions and many valuable things had been stolen, including a large amount of jewelry. “That’s why I don’t make things in advance any more. My family convinced me it would be safer to make one item at a time for people who have ordered a certain thing.”

He said he had won the Arabian stallions on a bet and it was time to feed them. They enjoyed the attention as we petted and talked to them. Eddie made one of them trot in circles around him at the end of a rope for exercise. He said he had no particular use for them but like a lot of Navajos, he just loved horses.

He then led us to the stone ruins of an old pueblo and said we could keep any of the pot shards that littered the ground. Marjie said, “I just want to look, not take.”

Eddie openly flirted with Amy and gave her a precisely crafted, obsidian arrowhead he found in the ruins. He also put a flint point in his pocket. He suggested we play a game of hide and seek, telling Marjie and me to stay in place while he and Amy hid until we heard him holler. He led Amy along a path that took them over the mesa’s edge. When he called out, Marjie and I noted the location of his voice, took a different path, and quickly found them in a shallow cave. Eddie was surprised it didn’t take us longer.

By means of a twisting, boulder strewn path, he led us to another ledge which held a stone formation shaped like a table on a pedestal. Several rust-colored knobs like those on the Chaco Wash mesa protruded from the table’s top.

Eddie said when he was a kid he pretended this was the control panel of his space ship and he was flying it over the desert before us and into outer space. He showed us several petroglyphs on the cliff face behind the slab. One depicted a large, upright being with 326

two arms and two legs whose head and feet were tiny compared to its circular torso, which was bisected by a vertical line. Spirals, lizards and snakes were also shown, but the most interesting glyph was the side view of a discoid UFO!

We were admiring them when Marjie pointed down the path and said, “I just saw a middle aged Indian man step out from behind that boulder. He ducked back when he saw me looking at him.” We walked a short distance to the boulder but didn’t see him or anyone else in the vicinity and decided it must have been a ghost.

Eddie said when he was a kid, he and his buddies had seen the ghost of a young girl several times when playing there.

A descending path took us to a little spring at the base of the mesa. A pipe directed its flow into a rectangular concrete basin that had a spigot on its far end. The basin and surrounding area was littered with trash. I said, “In the old days, no Indian in his right mind would have trashed a precious source of drinking water.”

Eddie said when he was young his family depended on this spring for water and that one of his chores was to keep the area clean.

Occasionally he jumped into the self cleaning basin to cool off.

Back at his hogan Eddie showed us an adze made of black granite that was given to him by a Hawaiian elder, who said such tools, used to make canoes, were treated with reverence and never used again. Holding it, Amy trembled and her eyelids fluttered as she received a vision. Eddie was concerned for her welfare until I explained what was happening. When Amy resumed a normal state of mind Eddie asked what she had seen.

“I saw a giant blue crystal in the center of this Hogan. It projected up through the roof and down into the ground. An angel above it was shining a great Light on the crystal that made it glow.

The energy began to swirl around the hogan and in the middle of it a ring of white buffaloes were circling the crystal. Then all the colors of the rainbow formed a circle around the crystal and every buffalo became the same color as the part of the rainbow that was shining on it. Then I heard the sound of a bear snuffling around outside the hogan.”

Smiling, Eddie said, “My father was Paiute and my mother was 327

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Dineh’. Among the Navajo, possessions are passed down through the mother. One night, I woke up and saw a white buffalo coming toward me through the door of this hogan. I knew it was a spirit being. I watched it slowly turn into a tree. If you look at that tree across the field, you will see the head of a buffalo. It has been there ever since. I have been living here for about seven years.” We agreed that the pattern of leaves and shadows on the tree resembled a buffalo’s head. When Amy handled a large, well-formed crystal Eddie showed us she again entered a trance but refused to describe everything she had seen.

Eddie demonstrated his own psychic ability by saying to me, “I see a spirit who has a connection with you, a woman with long dark hair. I think her presence is causing some conflict and confusion.”

(He was referring to Terresa, who had recently channeled and begged me to let her completely replace Marjie; she was very upset when I refused.) He said to Amy, “I see a spirit with you, too. It’s an older man who seems to be following you around. I think it’s your ex-husband. He wants to be involved enough in your life to think he can say something about it but doesn’t want to take any responsibility for it.” Amy agreed with him. He told Marjie that the spirit with her was an older woman and accurately described her deceased mother. He stated he had experience in dealing with such spirits and could dismiss them if we so desired. During a break, I privately asked Eddie to dismiss Marjie’s mother, whose presence was causing her to have frequent bad headaches. He said he would consider it.

We were all having supper at the Keams Canyon restaurant when I asked Eddie, “What happened to the love of the land your ancestors had? In view of all that trash at the spring, it seems to be missing.”

“It’s still there, but people don’t take care of the spring the way they used to because they don’t have to depend on it. Now they have running water in their homes and their children go down there and make a mess even though they’ve been told not to. You know how children are. If you tell them not to do something they will do it anyway, just like I did. I was supposed to go to school but 328

sometimes I didn’t. Kids do pretty much what they are determined to do, like one of my sons, who spends more and more time with me instead of his mother even though she has a nice home with all the conveniences. He didn’t understand why he was so attracted to pow-wows and rodeos until I told him I had spent most of my life going to those things until I broke too many bones and got too old.”

I asked, “How old are you?”

He wanted Amy to be his girlfriend, and possibly due to their age difference, he hesitated before saying, “Around 52.” I had guessed mid forties.

Back at the hogan, Eddie opened a long wooden box holding sacred things he had inherited, made, or collected. He bit off a little piece of a small, dried mushroom and thoroughly chewed it before swallowing. He sat down facing east and told us to sit in a circle with Amy at his right, me at his left, and Marjie opposite him. After making a circle of red sand on the floor in front of him, he placed a glass bowl holding an inch of water on top of it. He put a large, flat bottomed, quartz crystal in the water. To the left of the bowl, he placed two long obsidian spear points and a polished black rock similar to a finger. Between him and the container, he placed two very old eagle feathers and a small feather fan. To the right of the bowl, he assembled other objects, one of them a small stone bear that he said represented his spirit animal. He then picked up a little rattle made from a decorated gourd and asked, “Who is the patient?”

I said, “I’m the most frustrated one.”

He replied, “Traditionally, the person receiving the treatment makes an offering to the medicine man. It can be an object that seems appropriate or money. I do not ask anything for myself, but since I have a family and obligations, it is only right that I receive something for my services. The offering should be placed there.”

As instructed, I walked clockwise around the perimeter of the Hogan and deposited all the cash I had in a bowl and said, “I hope that’s enough.”

I retraced my steps and sat down. He said, “I will say a prayer and then I will take each of you outside one at a time to ask you 329

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questions in private. I will pray again after I bring you back in.”

Shaking his rattle, he entered a trance as he prayed, gazing fixedly at the doorway, and silently received information. Turning to Amy, he said, “I see something that looks like a piece of bamboo coming in at your side over and over again. I don’t know what that means.”

She said nothing, so he asked me to go outside. I followed him a few steps away from the hogan and he said, “Why do I see so much blood around the spirit who is with you?”

“Terresa had endometriosis, which caused a lot of bleeding during her periods.”

“What happened to the child? Something happened with a child.”

“She had an abortion because of the endometriosis and her fear that it might have birth defects.”

“Did you ever make love when she was having her periods?”

“Yes.”

“The Navajo teach you should not do that even if your wife wants you to. It is bad to touch your wife when she has the blood.

Did you ever make love in water?”

“Yes.”

“Doing that can have bad consequences and bring their spirit back to you. These things are taboo in the Navajo way of thinking.

The death of the child bothers you a great deal.”

“I never thought I would consent to an abortion.”

“Do you find that when you start a project you suddenly change your mind for no reason and don’t care anything about it at all?”

“I haven’t noticed that in myself. It sounds more like Terresa, who tended to lose enthusiasm for major projects she started but didn’t finish.”

“Did you touch her ashes after she was cremated?”

“Yes.” Alta Sha had instructed me to do that.

“Did some of her ashes get on you when you scattered them?”

“Yes. The wind blew them back toward me.”

“Navajos believe this will cause the person’s spirit to cling to you.” He faced north and loudly commanded Terresa’s spirit to leave me alone and to stay in the spirit world where she belonged.

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We went back into the hogan. He said more prayers. He then told Amy and me to keep our eyes on the crystal, not to talk and not to meditate, because that would interfere with the process, and led Marjie outside. She was weeping when they returned. He said another prayer in Navajo and then escorted Marjie and me outside again. He told us to face the north star and in English he prayed to the Creator before commanding Terresa and Marjie’s mother to leave us alone and to go back where they belonged. Facing north, he waved his right fist in a threatening manner and loudly condemned her father and her ex-husband for mistreating her and ordered them to leave her alone. He told them all the evil things they had done to her would backfire and they would also experience them. They would feel those things in their head and mouth and throat and stomach. All of this would happen to them because those things were not her doing and didn’t belong to her, but to them. Marjie sobbed while he prayed that I would also be cleansed of their evil influence. We returned to the hogan.

Eddie followed the same procedure with Amy, praying again when they returned. He emerged from the trance and said to me,

“When you see the shooting stars going toward the east you will know that what I have done is done and what I have said is completed. It is finished. It is done.”

Marjie said, “I feel wonderful.”

He said to her, “You need a decent father and I will be your father if you want me to.” Marjie quickly agreed. He added, “I will regard you as my baby from now on.” Happy tears fell from her eyes and mine, too. He sternly said to me, “I expect you to take good care of my daughter if you are man enough to do it. If you don’t, I will.” To her he said, “You will always have a home here.”

At bedtime Eddie told Marjie and me to sleep in his only bed.

Amy insisted on sleeping in the easy chair, leaving the sofa to him.

We all fell quickly asleep. A few hours later I had to answer nature’s call, went outside, and was thrilled by the breathtaking sight of a million stars in a moonless sky. Huge Orion sat low in the east with Sirius barely above the horizon. As I admired that heavenly display, a meteor streaked toward Orion. After emptying my 331

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bladder, I looked at the stars again and a second meteor flashed to the east. I wondered how Eddie knew that would happen Eddie and Amy had exchanged positions. Thinking his arthritis was probably bothering him, I whispered, “Would you please lie down on the bed?”

Incredulous, he said, “What?”

“I want you to lie down beside your daughter so you can be comfortable.” I was certain he would behave himself and thought Marjie might benefit from sleeping with a surrogate daddy who didn’t abuse her.

I was comfortable in the easy chair but couldn’t go back to sleep.

At first light, I put my shoes on and went outside to greet the new day like a good Navajo. Eddie had said, “When the sun comes up he looks behind to see how long his shadow is and knows that is how far he will have to travel this day. In the middle of the day, he looks down to see how short his shadow is, and knows his journey is almost finished. In the evening, he faces the sun and looks behind to see how far his shadow stretches and knows how far he has come. He makes offerings and gives thanks for all that he sees around him and all that he has.”

I walked across the mesa toward the ruins and softly sang the Ha Ha song for any lingering spirits among the junipers, sagebrush, and cacti, keeping watch for rattlesnakes. At daybreak I thanked I AM for the sun’s warmth and light, which makes life possible on Earth. I thanked I AM for Mother Earth, who will provide all that we need if we take proper care of her. I scattered a bread offering in the four directions and felt a wave of grief for the lost ancient culture of love for each other and for Mother Earth. I also grieved for our aborted child and asked ts spirit and I AM to forgive me and Terresa for not being brave enough to let it live. When I felt cleansed of that guilt, I sang the Ha Ha song again and walked back to the hogan.

Marjie was outside and I joined her in petting and talking to the grey stallion, who enjoyed the attention, as did the roan when it was his turn. He looked at me as if he understood every word when I said I would pray that Eddie would give them room to run.

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Marjie was more carefree than she had been for months. She said, “Since the ceremony I feel like a ton of weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Eddie said he didn’t understand why you told him to lay down beside me, but now that I am his new daughter, he would never think of doing anything improper. I told him we both knew that.”

Eddie and Amy conversed in his nearby sweat lodge. At breakfast, he apologized for not having more than coffee and peanut butter sandwiches. While Amy and Marjie took a walk Eddie and I stayed behind. I told him all three of us were working with various Indian spirits as well as with living ETs. He said,

“Navajos believe it is not good to get too far away from home and family in one’s mind or actions. That’s what is wrong with the world today. Everyone has their mind way out there someplace.

They are all flying around in airplanes and thinking about what is going to happen in the future instead of paying attention to what really matters. They aren’t paying attention to what is real, and what’s real is one’s home and family and fire and food and land and the living things around you. The Navajo way is to be completely involved in the natural world and not to have your mind way off somewhere else thinking about something that doesn’t really concern you. We believe when someone dies their spirit should go to their own place. They should not be called back and they should not be encouraged to talk with human beings.

“The Navajo believe that the first thing that existed was darkness, and that Light came out of the darkness.” I said I did not believe that darkness could create Light and that all things were created by Light. He said, “It is what I have been told. Light came out of the first darkness, and this Light made a sound, and from the sound, water was made. Everything was water. And then the water itself began to move, as wind might move water. The water made a different sound, and everything was created from the sound: the rocks, the trees, animals, and so forth. We believe that the Navajo emerged from the mountains themselves. We were created by the land and that is why it is so important to us. We are a part of it and should never forget our connection to it and all other living things 333

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around us. As long as a man does this, he will be following the way of beauty. We have a saying for people who appreciate the things around them. As long as a man keeps his mind on what is real, we say he is Looking Good. He will be happy and healthy. There will be a twinkle in his eye, because he is looking at the world in the right way.”

It was nearly eleven when we were ready to leave. Eddie told Marjie again that she had a new home and was welcome whenever she wanted to return. Marjie said, “Now I know why I didn’t want to take anything I found here. It already belongs to me.” We thanked him for his hospitality, his ceremony, and his teachings.

On the day we arrived at home Tanner said, “Although the container you have is very small, it is very powerful. If you put water in it and seal it, there will be no U. S. military to worry about.”

He suddenly spread his fingers, imitating an explosion. “When the time is right, you will bury it. It should be bundled in nine layers, each one of a different kind of material. The ninth could be a metal box. You should place a sealed vial of sacred water beside the container inside the bundle. The box should be placed in a hole in the ground with nine crystals arranged around it and then buried.”

“Where should the water come from, and who should bless it?”

“That will be decided by you when the time is right.”

The huge difference between Tanner/Mishaka’s scenario and the one described by Candace caused me to wonder about the validity of either version.

We were talking about Tanner’s instructions for the container when Amy said, “It just so happens that I brought some holy water from the Jordan River with me.” Marjie found a very small vial, filled it with holy water, and gathered twelve clear stones of polished quartz she had bought at Keams Canyon, but we didn’t have the layers of different materials.

Amy said to Marjie, “Close your eyes and tell us what’s in the container.”

“I have received a vision. When the container is activated, a reversal of the creation of this solar system will take place, like a film running backward. Everything will shift back to its former 334

state. I don’t want to be anywhere near it, but I have a feeling that I might have to be there when it is activated in this lifetime. I would like to know when it’s been buried but I wouldn’t care to know where.”

Amy said, “Close your eyes, look within, and tell me what the container is?”

“What do you mean?”

“What is the container? What is the container?”

Upset by her insistent manner, Marjie said, “I don’t know what you mean by that. I think you’re being deliberately obscure. I feel like I’m being scolded for not understanding.”

I said. “This isn’t a test you have to pass. You are fine just as you are.”

She said to Amy, “I felt confused. I didn’t know what you expected of me. I didn’t know the right answer. I felt as if I were lacking in some way.”

I commented, “That’s exactly how I felt up on that mountain.”

“What mountain?”

“The West Spanish Peak. I felt as if I had been misled and had been totally wrong about everything. The pressure you were feeling from Amy just now is what I have been feeling for the last month, as if being pushed and pressured by Spirit and resisting.” I was glad Marjie had experienced an example of what I had been feeling.

Amy said, “Resistance is automatic when you feel pressured.” I agreed. We didn’t discuss the container after that and Amy left for Memphis.

Marjie and I were driving through a small town near our home when Didiwahtay, who rarely channeled, directed my attention to a white squirrel in a tree. I asked, “Were you in one of those ravens that were hanging around in the trees outside of our shop for a few days?”

“No. They would not cooperate. They have left and will not come back.”

“I’m not surprised. They’re more at home farther west. Maybe you can find a crow or a hawk to inhabit.”

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“Hawk is difficult.”

“Why?”

“Too smart. Can’t make it go where I want.”

I thought the temperature in the car was comfortable but Marjie was sweating and turned on the air conditioner. Didi said, “The beads she has around her neck and on her top are making her sweat. I am ready to go run.”

“Are you going to run alone, or will you choose an animal to run with?” He pointed at a butterfly flying toward us. “Are you going to run with the butterfly?”

“Yes.” He left. After taking off the beads, the sweating stopped.

We had been at home for a few weeks when Eddie called and thanked Marjie for the thank you letter she had sent him. He again said he loved her and that she was his baby and asked her to send greetings to “What’s her name.” Marjie was so pleased by his call that she cried for several minutes when it was over.

When Eddie called a second time he said one of his horses was sick and that he didn’t have money for the medicine. Because of his history of alcoholism we doubted his story but I mailed him a check anyway because we had received so many blessings from him. A few weeks later he called and said he and some of his buddies had been arrested for being drunk and disorderly and needed money for bail. Marjie decided he was using her like other men have done and vowed she would have nothing more to do with him. We refused to send money for bail and we never heard from him again.

I felt sad that his alcoholism had again dominated his life.

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Chapter Twenty-one:

Power Animals

Marjie decided she wanted to become a shaman and said she had to seek a vision, travel to the underworld, and find her power animal animal. She said, “In my vision I was standing in front of a cave and went inside. I saw that it led down into molten rock. There were steps that spiraled down to the lava. I didn’t want to go down there but Alta Sha encouraged me to take the steps. There were grooves for my fingers in the wall. I knew it was a path I AM had prepared for me, so I kept my fingers in the grooves and walked down the steps until I got to the molten rock. Alta Sha said, How are you going to approach this? I said, I can’t go around it, so I have to go through it. He said, Very good. I dove in. As soon as I entered the lava, I was in clear capsule that protected me from the heat. The deeper I sank, the brighter the lava got, going from red to yellow to white. When it turned white, I saw the faces of a very old Indian and two or three other men and women. They looked really ancient, like prehistoric. I knew I wasn’t supposed to bring anything back. I was just supposed to be there a certain length of time. I just now remembered that at the very beginning, when I was just starting to relax and focus, I saw two bright flashes of light. I can’t think of anything else that happened right now.”

“Did you find your power animal?”

“That was a separate exercise. I used the rattle to get the attention of the animal world. I rattled to the four directions and to the sun and the moon and the stars and to Mother Earth. Then I began moving around. I concentrated on the pace of my movements and increased the pace and the shaking of the rattle until I had a very good tempo going, really quick, and waited to see what power animal would make its self known. I thought of 337

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different animals but knew they weren’t the right ones. Then the rattlesnake came to me. I didn’t choose it, it chose me. It isn’t one I would choose.”

“How did you become aware of it?”

“It was in front of me. I couldn’t go around it. It moved in four different directions so I could see it clearly and I accepted it for what it was. I wasn’t afraid of it. I felt its power and I became the snake. When I was exhausted from the movement I shook the rattle four times and said I was finished. I grabbed hold of it and brought it back. My first power plant is an Indian Tea plant.”

“Have you started making your power bundle?”

“I started on it last night, after I got my power animal.”

“How did you know what to put in it?”

“They are things I have collected because I thought they had some sort of significance and someday I might know why.”

“How long have you been picking up things like that?”

“One of them is from my childhood and several I’ve picked up since we met. I’m not supposed to tell exactly what the items are.”

Marjie wanted me to start shaman training but I wasn’t interested and refused to follow her instructions. She said I was being stubborn. I said she should ask a person if they want to become a shaman before trying to train them. Later, when Didiwahtay said he wanted to help me find my way to the underworld I thought I AM wanted me to follow him and said,

“Okay, what do you want me to do?”

“Find a cave with your mind’s eye.”

“I have it.”

“Go very deep into the cave until you discover something important.”

“I’m beside a river which has a greenish glow as if it’s lighted from within. Its light is helping me to find my way and to see the formations in the cave.”

“Search for a way around any obstacles that you find.”

“I have to crawl through a narrow spot. Now I am in a wide room and I’m crossing it. I see a waterfall made by the green river.

It’s big and very high. I’m walking through the waterfall to go more 338

deeply into the cave. I’m in another cavern much darker than the last one. Even though it’s dark, I can see. I have come to a right triangle lying on its side. It is nearly equilateral. It has a blue center surrounded by a shiny, grey border of metal. It looks very old and primitive, with imperfections on its surface. It’s a portal. I’m stepping through it. I’m looking at a tall structure made of the same gray metal, but there’s a band of blue ore around its bottom that looks like unfinished stone. The sides of the structure are made of square columns that look like crystals of basalt. It has a flat top. I know it’s significant, but I don’t know why.”

“That is good. Now you know how to travel to the underworld and you can use this path to find things of importance to you.”

That night I woke up around two in the morning. Unable to sleep, I tried to travel through the underworld again and after entering the cave I quickly encountered a polar bear. I had always admired their beauty and great strength but had not considered that one could become my power animal. The jolly bear’s friendly and lovable manner made it easy to accept him. We communed for a few minutes before I consciously returned. It later occurred to me that the golden eagle I felt myself become over a year before and inspired my chosen name, Gold Eagle, was my first power animal.

I suppose that was also why the spirit He Rides the Wind had entered me at Mesa Verde’.

Marjie and I were discussing our power animals when Alta Sha said, “You found your power animal in the way that was appropriate for you. You are at a turning point. You are standing at the edge of a chasm. Below you is a pool of doubt and fear. You have the choice of leaving it or diving into it. Only by diving into it can you set yourself free.”

“Is it the will of I AM that I become a shaman? I have not thought that was my destiny.”

“Has anyone said to you that this is the first step on the path of becoming a shaman or that this path leads to becoming a shaman?”

“No, but I thought that was Marjie’s goal for me.”

“It is but one step toward freedom. Many other steps may follow this one but there is only one step that you are to take at the present 339

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time, which is to allow a woman to lead you into taking your next step. You have to let a woman help you take this step because it is your fear of women that is part of the problem. You are going to have to trust a woman to lead you. The things you were taught to fear as a child because they are evil are not evil. They are good if used in the right manner.” I was willing to try. Amy came for another visit.

In the morning Marjie said, “Spirit is telling me to tell you to simply enjoy your body. You should do whatever gives you pleasure. No matter how silly or ridiculous it might seem, enjoy your body in any way that you like.”

Following Spirit’s instruction, I undressed except for a robe and took a smudge twist and a rattle outside. In our very private yard, I took off the robe, bathed my naked body in purifying smoke, and danced around in rhythm with the rattle. When tired I lay down, held the smoking smudge twist between my crossed legs, closed my eyes, and let the wind blow the smoke over my body while I listened to the birds sing and enjoyed the feeling of grass against my bare skin.

My eyes were closed when I heard Amy’s and Marjie’s footsteps and the sound of a rattle as they circled me and dropped flower petals and other bits of vegetation on my body. They sat down and Tanner said, “Man to Come, sit up.” I opened my eyes as I obeyed and saw they were also naked and we were sitting in a circle. He said, “You have flowers on you.” I felt completely comfortable with my nudity and sprinkled some of the rose petals on them.

Tanner picked up a purple chrysanthemum bud and said, “I will tell you a story. The story is about the seed which created the bud.

Many years ago there was a seed that was planted in Mother Earth, and when it began to grow it became a plant, and in the plant there were little buds. The buds realized that they did not know what color they would be. One of the buds wondered, what color will I b e ?

The answer was purple. The bud said, Purple is good, and so it grew and was very happy. Finally it opened up and it blossomed and grew until it had seeds. And then those seeds were ready to be planted in Mother Earth’s hair.” He looked at me, crushed the bud, 340

separated the seeds from the petals, and handed them to me. “Now you plant seeds in your hair, like Mother Earth.” I complied. “Now you let the seed stay there until it sprouts or until the birds come to get it, just like Mother Earth.” He handed the rattle to me and said,

“Now you tell story.”

The smudge ingredients were still smoking as I slowly shook the rattle and tried to think of a suitable parable. I picked up the smudge container and said, “Long ago man discovered fire and knew that fire was good. It warmed him when the weather was cold. It kept his family safe from wild animals that were afraid of it. It cooked his food, making it easier to chew and better tasting.

Man could look at the fire and dream dreams. He sometimes saw things in the fire and imagined his thoughts flying away like the smoke from this smudge and he saw that the smoke was good, too.

It smelled good. It purified him. When he looked at the smoke, he thought it was like himself, for a man could let his thoughts drift.

He could let his mind travel to other places. He realized that man was also like smoke because some day every man would become one with All That There Is, like smoke which disappears into the sky and can be seen no longer.” I handed the rattle to Amy.

“Now you tell story,” Tanner said.

“Long ago a young woman discovered a white stick. She knew that it was a magical stick. It was hollow. She could blow on one end of it and make a whooshing sound which came out of the other end, but that is all it would do. It would not make any other sounds.

She knew that the stick was important although she did not know why it was important. Another day when she was out walking she discovered a stone. This stone had two holes in it. The holes were connected inside of the stone, so that you could blow in one hole, and the air would come out the other hole. She saw that these two things were similar, and she knew that they were important. So she kept them and tried to figure out why they were important. Then one day it occurred to her that the stick might fit inside the stone’s hole. She tried this, and saw that they would go together. She played with them and she blew into them and she knew that they were very sacred things to her. One day, she discovered that she 341

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could burn an offering in the pipe that she had made and the smoke would come out of the tube, and she realized she could breathe the smoke through the tube and blow it where she would, like a prayer that she would send to heaven. And so she began to use this pipe in her prayers, and she would pray for everything and everyone.

She would pray for the healing of the Earth. She would pray for the trees and the plants and the animals and all the people and she would pray all the time and she would use her pipe. And then she realized that she was like the pipe herself. The fire in the pipe was the same fire she would feel in the groin, and the fire from her groin would travel up through her body, up the spinal cord, and come out the top of her head. This same fire would also be a constant prayer, and so she became like the pipe and her whole body was devoted to making the prayer smoke.”

Tanner said, “Let us all stand and join hands. Each of us has told a story which has wisdom. Who among us is most wise? No one can say they are the most wise. We are all wise.”

I said, “I AM is the wisest among us. Only He is truly wise.”

“That is so,” Tanner said. “When I look at you, White Buffalo Calf Woman, I see a being of Light, a spirit of Light, and when you look at me you see Light. What do you see when you look at me, Man to Come?”

A golden aura surrounded him. “I see beauty. I see Light.”

“And I see a being of Light myself. We will raise our hands and thank the Creator that he has bought these three beings of Light together to do His work.” He raised our hands. “Let your Light shine forth into the world now!”

I visualized Divine Light shining down on my body and emanating from it in a spreading wave until Earth was entirely illuminated.

Tanner said, “We are here to spread our Light into the world.

Let us embrace one another.” We did. “And now we will dance.”

He shook his rattle and as he danced, I spread my arms and became Gold Eagle, circling around in one direction and then another as I moved clockwise around the center. Tanner sang his power song, I sang with him, imitating his words and movements. He took three 342

or four steps, turned to the right, paused for a few beats, sang a few notes and repeated those steps to the left. We circled the center three or four times, while Amy did her own dance.

It was nearly dark, and the smudge was almost out when the ceremony was completed. We gathered our things, went inside, and dressed. Tanner had withdrawn.

Marjie said, “I was mentally participating and aware of everything that happened with Tanner. Thank you for doing what I asked. I needed that experience.”

Amy left for the cottage. Alta Sha said, “Alta Sha is happy that you went through the ritual without any difficulty. How did it feel to you?”

“I enjoyed the freedom of being naked. I think it brought us closer and I feel at peace about our situation.”

“Alleluia.”

I encouraged Nuke to spend the night in the cottage with Amy.

He responded, “I appreciate the hospitality you have shown my lady. I will leave Marjie with you tonight.” He gave me a strong hug and withdrew.

At bedtime Adam said, “I have been assigned to help instruct you.”

“Good! I have always enjoyed working with you. What are you supposed to help me with?”

“To develop your psychic abilities.”

“Okay. What do you want me to do?”

“I suggest that you listen without any criticism while I read from The Shaman’s Body. Just accept what you can and make use of it.”

We took turns reading a few pages and he asked for my opinion of the content.

“I think much of it is useful but a lot of it I already know.”

“I suggest another trip to the underworld. Tell me what you find.”

“Alright.” I described going into the cave and becoming a fish who had learned when to be passive and when to swim harder to maintain the position it desired, always following the path of least resistance in the luminous green river. At the base of the waterfall, 343

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I emerged from the river and was transformed into a man. Golden arches rose high above, showing I had entered Metatron. A black scarab beetle much larger than I appeared in front of me, face to face. I was not afraid of its lethal mandibles, for I didn’t think anything in Metatron would harm me.

Adam said, “Try to become the beetle.”

I became the giant dung beetle and was aware of its patience and determination to perform its parental duties no matter what obstacles it might encounter. I wondered if it was also a power animal, for I shared some of its traits. I was about to fall asleep when Adam asked, “What is happening now?”

“It felt as if someone touched my leg.”

“Explore that feeling fully to learn what it could be.”

“I am a female gazelle. I have a baby who wants to nurse.”

“Experience being the baby gazelle and growing into an adult.”

I became an exuberant young gazelle, jumping around and kicking up my heels. Then I rapidly went through the process of growing, mating and dying of old age. I had always enjoyed games that required running and jumping. Was this another power animal? I wondered about the spiritual significance of having several power animals and if that was common. Then I said,

“ Thank you, Adam. I learned a lot about myself with your guidance, but I’m so sleepy now I think it’s time to stop.”

“Thank you for letting me help, Father. I love you.”

“And I love you, very much.”

When Amy came for another overnight visit it was agreed that Nuke would channel and spend the night with her, but Marjie’s consciousness would remain with me. I read aloud at bedtime for the benefit of everyone who listened, and when Marjie physically returned in the morning, she remembered the content.

Nuke thanked me for allowing him to channel all night and said,

“I saw two Indian spirits hanging around the cottage. Are they the same ones that were here before you took your trip?”

“I don’t think so. I think they all went with us.”

“They were here when we got back from out west. One of them has a Mohawk-type hair cut and is painted yellow. He’s wearing a 344

breechclout and has small shields on his legs and upper arms. The other one looks like a wild man. He wears hides and he’s very dirty and his hair is a mess. He sits around laughing all the time.”

“Do you know their names or what tribes they come from?”

“I don’t know their names, but Adam thinks they’re Tanner’s people.” They did not enter Marjie.

After decades of non communication, Robert (a pseudonym), a college friend who lived in Houston, Texas, called and invited us to come and visit with him and his wife Jenny(a pseudonym), whom we had never met. While there, we told them about our relationships with channeled entities, about the healing work we had done, and about our experiences in other dimensions. Robert was openly skeptical about the independent existence of the individuals who channeled through Marjie, but Jenny was very receptive and asked us to attempt a healing of her tongue cancer and to help her find her power animal. Although results of the healing efforts were not immediately available, finding her power animal was a success. Not long after our visit, Robert and Jenny visited with us for a few days, sleeping in the cottage. The day after they arrived, our friends Isabel, her husband David, and Amy also joined us. Marjie, Amy and Isabel had a healing session with Jenny; when they had finished, Marjie summoned me. She handed me a plastic zip lock bag, saying that it contained the negative energy they had removed from Jenny’s body and that I was to take it outside and bury it, being careful not to open it.

I did as directed. When I returned Marjie said she had used crystals for healing, Isabel had used Reiki, and Amy had done her own thing. “Spirit told me where to put the crystals and warned me to step away. When Isabel was moving her hands I saw ashes completely cover Jenny’s body with my third eye and for a moment she looked so much like a corpse I was afraid she was dead!”

Isabel said, “My hands were glowing white after I worked on Jenny’s head and throat. That has never happened before.”

Amy had perceived a mass of negativity in the form of a black claw that extended from Jenny’s throat down into her reproductive organs. With one hand, she had pushed the black energy up to 345

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Jenny’s throat and with the other had drawn it out of her mouth and put it into the bag.

I asked, “What good does it do to bury energy in a plastic bag?

What’s to stop it from getting loose?”

Amy replied, “It’s sealed in the bag forever.”

When we were alone Marjie described the healing in more detail.

“Before we started the healing session we went for a walk outside and tried to sing up a faery for Jenny to see. I sang, Amy sang, Nuke sang, Jenny sang, and we saw one! It was the first time Jenny saw a faery Light and Quincy (Jenny’s golden retriever) saw it too. He pricked up his ears and looked at it.

“After the healing Jenny did a lot of sobbing. She released a great deal of suppressed emotion that’s been accumulating for many, many years. I could tell it was happening at the cellular level as well as the psychological level.”

“Do you know where all those negative feelings came from?’

“A lot of bad experiences, some due to her relationship with Robert.”

The longer Marjie was around Robert, the more uncomfortable she became. Although Nuke and Robert conversed several times, she knew he didn’t believe 8 was real and that meant he must think she was either faking it or was mentally ill. She also thought his skepticism might interfere with the continued benefit Jenny would receive from the healing. Marjie had quickly become very attached to Jenny and was sad when she left but was relieved that Robert was gone. She had developed a persistent headache due to the strength of his negative energy traces, so we held a healing session for her. In it, she initially became quite anxious as she fell from a precipice. She met an old, foul-smelling man who refused to eliminate his odor. I asked if she could see Alta Sha. “Yes.”

“Does he have advice about how you can help yourself heal?”

“He says to rest. Traces of negativity are clinging to me. You need to purify the house. Smudge it and me and especially smudge the trailer. He says you are to go to my altar downstairs and select the items you need. Do not use your mind to select them. If you do, you will pick the wrong ones. Just follow your heart.”

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At the altar I selected sage, bits of cedar, a dove’s wing and a small silvery rock she had said was Nuke’s Rock. Using the rattle/drumstick I struck the Tarahumara drum a few times before I took the items to her. I lighted the smudge ingredients, fanned the smoke over her body with the dove’s wing, and said, “Here’s Nuke’s Rock. Put it where it will do the most good.”

“Alta Sha says you should smudge.” I smudged myself and the whole room. Acting the part of shaman, I shook the rattle to chase away any negative traces near her and smudged the rest of the house before going to the trailer. Spiritual chills ran down my spine when I entered. As I smudged it, I prayed for Divine Light to fill the trailer and erase all traces of darkness, leaving only purity and goodness within.

I joined Marjie, who said, “I don’t want to be Robert’s friend. He will never allow it. I think he’s hiding from me. He has always avoided having a direct conversation with me. I know now why his traces had such a strong effect on me; I made the mistake of caring about what he thought of me. He reminds me of Ralph (her abusive ex’s pseudonym). He’s big, his hands are big, and he stares at people to intimidate them. He’s an abuser and a manipulator.”

“Express the anger you feel toward him.”

She screamed, “You pompous ass, you have no right to judge me! Who are you to say that Nuke is not real?” She cursed him vehemently for a minute or two before the grief resulting from his rejection of her and the beautiful reality she wanted to share with him emerged with deep sobbing.

I said, “If his opinion mattered so much to you because you think he’s my friend, you can forget that. Spending time with him reminded me of why I backed away from our relationship in the first place. We didn’t see eye to eye concerning spiritual realities then and we still don’t. He hasn’t changed.” Marjie calmed down after several minutes of venting. Her headache was gone.

The next time I spoke with Amy she said that the dark energy she removed from Jenny’s body resulted from Robert’s abusive behavior. Marjie said, “We didn’t tell you about his abuse before because his friendship seemed so important to you. We didn’t want 347

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you to think you had to end it.”

“I suspected as much when you said some of the dark energy was caused by Robert but I didn’t press for information Jenny might consider confidential. Do you really think I would want to be friends with someone who abuses his wife? That kind of information is too important to hide.”

Jenny’s sessions had introduced her to her power animals, released massive amounts of negative energy, exposed the depth of her psychological pain, and led her to change the course of her life.

In order to feel safe, to obtain inner peace and to continue her growth, she divorced Robert, moved back to the area where her family still lived, married a compatible mate, and was still cancer free several years later.

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Chapter Twenty-two:

Tanner’s

Redemption

Amy introduced Nucleus 8, Marjie and me to friends of hers who channeled spiritual beings. After we had several conversations with them, Nuke suggested that Marjie and I begin having group meetings with Nelda, Guy (pseudonyms) and Isabel on Sunday afternoons, which we began to do at Nelda’s apartment. Nuke said the group’s purpose would be to collectively project positive energies to individuals, groups, and to Mother Earth. He named us his Star Five Group, emphasized that we were equals, avoided naming a leader, and encouraged us to discuss our individual spiritual experiences and goals in our gatherings.

Marjie and I occasionally spent the night at Nelda’s apartment after meetings and she would sometimes stay at our house when Amy also came to visit. Nelda had some Indian ancestors and was interested in our work with such spirits and in Tanner’s stones.

When she held the crescent-shaped moon rock to her chest Nelda saw him with her mind’s eye and asked me to count her down in order to enhance their connection.

I described the respectful behavior an elder of Tanner’s tribe expected to receive, said a prayer, and induced the trance. Nelda said, “I am with him. He is quite old. He is inviting me into his teepee. He says he is my grandfather. I asked him on which side of my family but he says it doesn’t matter.”

I said, “All the elder males in his tribe were called grandfather by a younger person.”

“He’s putting a necklace on my neck that has a large piece of turquoise hanging from it. The string that holds it is black. I feel a type of energy I have never felt before where the pendant lays over my heart.” She began to weep. “I have received a healing! He is leading me outside. I have become an eagle. I am flying ever 349

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upward until I become a free spirit.” She felt very peaceful when she emerged from the trance. “I knew I had been an Indian in another lifetime and now I have actually experienced some of that life.” In view of Tanner’s interest in her welfare, I thought it likely that the Alliance was already quite familiar with her and had decided it was time for her enlightenment.

There was a lot of discussion about spiritual beliefs and the nature of reality in our meetings but little emphasis on identifying specific actions our group could take to help others. Without leadership, that goal seemed very elusive and I wanted us to define our objectives.

One Saturday afternoon Amy joined us at Nelda’s apartment.

We planned to spend the night there before attending church and the group meeting. When the subject of tomorrow’s meeting came up, Marjie said she was having intense feelings of anxiety and guilt because she did not agree with Isabel’s beliefs and was afraid it might cause the group to fall apart. I was silent while Nelda and Amy attempted to calm her through logical reasoning but, as I anticipated, that approach did not work, because her irrational fear was based on an unresolved trauma. When they had exhausted all the logical reasons why she shouldn’t be anxious without success, I asked Marjie if she wanted to have a trance session and she agreed. I politely asked Nelda and Amy not to intervene during the trance so that I would be able to control the process without interference. Marjie was easily entranced and her fear was quickly eliminated, which I thought was worthy of a celebration. Instead, Nelda and Amy were infuriated with me for being a male chauvinist who belittled their feminine skills by asking them to quietly listen! They would not accept that my request had nothing to do with their gender and everything to do with my very successful technique. Their rigid, aggressive and inaccurate perception of my motives was so unreasonable I was ready to leave and never come back, but Sarah, Perithnea, and Marjie privately persuaded me to wait until morning because there would be some unspecified and unexpected developments. My pride and intense anger over being falsely accused made it very difficult to stay, but 350

I decided to think of the situation as a lesson in patience and worked hard to be calm.

After a restless night I found Nelda weeping at the dining table.

She apologized, saying it was because of the overwhelming love she had been receiving from various ETs, especially Tanner, who told her he wanted to channel through her in future group meetings! Nuke had shown no prior interest in Tanner/Mishaka’s participation in his Five Star Group, so I wondered what was going on. It was against Board of Twelve protocol for one member to intervene in another member’s activities without an invitation.

When the group meeting came to order, Nuke was clearly not expecting it when Nelda began to channel Tanner/Mishaka, but he did not object, possibly giving Mishaka a chance to justify his serious breach of ethics. Instead, Mishaka dictated how meetings would be conducted in the future and assigned responsibilities to each group member. Having had enough of that, Nuke scolded Mishaka/Tanner for his intrusion. He apologized and withdrew.

Although no one criticized Nelda for channeling Tanner, she was not interested in the group unless she, channeling Tanner, could lead it. I had previously noted her interventions in Amy’s Sunday classes and her extreme reaction to being told to stay silent during Marjie’s session also revealed control issues, especially with men. She was so offended by Nuke’s reaction that she withdrew from the group, which ended the Memphis meetings. Guy also backed out of the group.

Several weeks elapsed without hearing anything from Tanner, which was unusual. When Nuke and I discussed his possible reasons for withdrawing Nuke exclaimed, “I just realized something! Tanner channeled through Nelda to expose a weakness in the group that would eventually destroy it. Nelda envied how easily Star One channeled. Tanner knew she wanted the spotlight on herself and would jump at a chance to upstage Star One. I couldn’t understand why Tanner did that until just now. I owe him my humble apology. You know, not once did Tanner explain his actions or complain about the criticism he received from the Board.

Because I misjudged him, I will have to wear orange and brown.

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It’s important for me to go and apologize to him right now, but I have no idea where he might be.” Nuke located Tanner and apologized for reprimanding him.

Nuke said he was missing Amy, so I suggested that he and Marjie go visit her while I stayed at home doing some important chores. Nuke channeled the entire time they were there, but Marjie’s independent consciousness visited the western bank of the Mississippi River, where she enjoyed viewing boats, barges, waterfowl, and so on.

Sarah said she also went to Memphis. “I watched 8 and Amy while they were sitting by the swimming pool in her backyard.

When Amy started talking about Tanner, the branches in the top of one of the big trees began to sway back and forth even though there was no wind or squirrels or birds to cause it, and a little branch fell off it right into the middle of the pool.”

“Was Tanner in the tree?”

“Yep.”

I was glad to know that Tanner had appeared at Amy’s house, but he had still not spoken to me until Marjie channeled 8 during our nighttime stroll. I said, “I wonder what Tanner is doing.”

“He’s walking right behind you.”

“He is? Welcome, Tanner! I have missed you.”

“Tanner is back,” he answered.

“It’s good to have you back. I’ve been thinking a lot about you lately. Did you come on the vessel 8 said was nearby?”

“Yes.”

A low-flying craft with a flashing red light and the sound of an airplane approached us. Tanner pointed at it and said, “Phony baloney.”

“I still want to hear the stories of the rocks. We’re going to visit with Shadow (Isabel’s nickname) and Amy this weekend. Would you be willing to share the stories with us? We could invite Eddie Middleton too, if that would be alright.”

“Four.”

“Four?”

“Tanner will share only with four.”

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“Alright. Thank you. That will be a good birthday present for me.”

“Birthday?”

“Yes. We celebrate the anniversary of our births every year.”

“Ahh.”

“Have you seen the improvements we made to our property?”

“No.”

“Over here and over there we have new fences that 8 helped me to put up. We have horses now.”

“Horses! Uh!”

“We might be able to see them when we get to the top of the hill.”

“Tanner old, walks slow.”

“The fence has barbs on the wire,” I pointed out.

He touched one. “Bite.”

“Yes.”

“Why fence bite?”

“The animals stay away from the fence because it will bite them.”

“Good.”

The horses were waiting for us at the top of the driveway.

Dreamer stuck her head over the fence and puckered her lips as if to give us a kiss. She snorted and we petted her. He said, “Good horse. Catching scent. Sign of contentment. Good horse.”

“Star One is training her for riding.”

“Tanner must go soon.”

“Would you like to see the barn we built before you go, or wait until another time?”

“Tanner see.” We walked over to it. When he saw the hay stacked in the barn, he said, “Store food.”

I showed him the stalls and the tack room and the open area for parking the tractor. He said, “Blue pony go here?”

“Right.”

I showed him the horses’ exercise ring and said, “Eight helped me build all of these things.”

“Eight have mind like Trojan.”

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“Why do you say that?”

“Many hidden places in mind. Secret. Try prosper. Make land work. It is good. Tanner must go.”

I patted him on the back. “Thank you for coming.”

Nuke channeled. I said, “Tanner said you had the mind of a Trojan.”

“A Trojan?”

“Yes. It seemed odd that he knows about Trojans.”

“He may act like he doesn’t, but that old man knows a lot about an awful lot of things.”

A couple of days had passed when Alta Sha pointed at several rocks lying on the fireplace hearth and said, “These are the rocks Tanner has chosen to talk about with your group.”

I said, “I’m surprised by his choices. He didn’t pick the ones I’m most interested in.”

“Perhaps you will have to talk to him about that.”

When Tanner returned he asked, “You not like Tanner’s rocks?”

“I was hoping you would tell me the stories of the newest rocks.”

“Which rocks?”

“The ones we drove so far to get on our last trip.”

“Show me.” I collected them. He refused to discuss the biggest and most interesting Newfoundland rock and the small container rock from Chaco mesa but agreed with most of my choices.

Our group was gathered at Isabel’s house when Tanner told me to get fire for smudging. I had not brought the ingredients, so he told Amy and me to find substitutes. Amy stripped the tobacco from one of 8’s cigarettes while I went outside to gather cedar leaves. At first, they wouldn’t ignite and Tanner said, “This bad omen.” They smoldered long enough for smudging when a second match was used.

Tanner said a prayer before arranging the selected rocks and a single feather on a piece of rabbit fur. Holding up the feather, he said, “Feather of bird sacred. Use for decoration on top of head, on top of teepee, on clothing. It show place in tribe and more.”

Taking a small, hollow rock, he said, “This like egg from which life springs. Man and woman come out of egg.”

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He picked up the fish rock. “Two fish. One in water, one on land.

Fish plentiful. Good to eat.”

Next was a rock shaped like a mesa with a valley below it. “High cliff good place to build home. Can see when enemies come. Have protection. Have water. Out of rain and wind. Man and woman come and build teepee.”

He held up the teepee rock. “Warm home.”

In order from left to right he arranged the small red, yellow, white and black rocks, a piece of charcoal, and the mortared fingerprint he had retrieved from the ruins of a pueblo he had helped to build centuries ago. He rubbed his thumb on the charcoal, made a black mark on our foreheads, and said, “This from Tanner’s home fire of many years ago. Fire good. Keep warm. Cook food.

Smoke good. Purify.” He held each of the colored stones up in turn and said, “Red is for living things, flesh, Earth, fertile woman.

Yellow for corn, good to eat, and light of sun, make things grow.

White for frozen water, purity, spirit. Black for death, rebirth.”

He then picked up the infinity stone. “Number 8 on side like life, never ending circle, going back and forth, moving, changing, always coming back, like Tanner’s dance. Spin to right, spin to left, go around number.” To Amy he said, “You know this is number of Trojan?”

“Yes.”

Pretending he couldn’t believe it, he said, “Trojan make you happy?”

“Yes.” He shook his head with a smile and grasped the fingerprint. “Tanner’s fingerprint from house of sun god.”

When he couldn’t fit the three pieces of the buffalo heart together he said, “Man to Come, help. Tanner old.” I put them together. We passed it around the circle as he said, “Buffalo very sacred. Give warmth. Give shelter. Give dried meat to eat in winter when no game. Give sinew from long muscles for sewing. Give skin for clothing, blankets. Give bones for tools. Glue from hooves. All sacred.”

About the snake rock he said, “Tongue of snake sacred. You eat, make potent, fertile.”

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Holding the half white half black rock from Newfoundland he said, “Bear important animal. Strong. Wise. Very brave. Provide many things for people.”

He picked up the tortoise rock. “Turtle wise. Withdraw into self if threatened by those who not respect and love it. Mother Earth does same as turtle.”

He arranged small pieces of petrified wood from the Chaco Wash mesa around a large one, extended his arms in a gesture to include all of us and said, “Pick one.” We each chose a small piece.

He picked up the large piece and asked Shadow, “What is this?”

“Petrified wood. Part of a tree that turned to stone.”

“Right. Very old, maybe even older than Tanner. You all timid, leave big rock for Tanner.”

Isabel answered, “I wasn’t being timid. I picked the one I thought would best fit my hand. I thought the biggest one belonged to you. I certainly wouldn’t take your rock.”

“Watch.” He re-arranged the pieces so that the bigger ones were closer to us. “If I put stones like this, I show I do not think I should have bigger stones. You likely to take big one. You timid. Tanner finished with rocks.”

He sat straight up. “What gifts you have for Tanner?” While we tried to think of something appropriate he said, “Tanner like money.” I gave him eight dollar bills, which emptied my wallet.

Amy gave him a dollar and Isabel gave him a crystal. Smiling, he counted the eight dollars and gave them back to me. Handing Amy her dollar, he said, “Tanner has no use for this.” He kept the crystal.

“Now Tanner answer questions.”

I asked, “How did you know where the rocks would be found?”

“Tanner is old and Tanner is wise. The 8 rock hid to avoid capture, so Tanner had to search for it. Tanner is old and tired. Time for him to go.”

I hugged him and said, “Thank you for sharing your words.”

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Chapter Twenty-three: Sharing Spiritual Energy

I woke up at four a.m. unable to sleep, I went downstairs and picked up the wrinkled piece of gray metal from a damaged ET

craft that was deposited in the middle of our driveway a few years earlier. Although very light and thin, the crushed and scorched metal was very rigid. I wondered where and how the craft was damaged and when able, I said to Nuke, “I was looking at that piece of metal from the damaged craft this morning. Do you know where it was when it was damaged? I thought about Tanner when I was holding it. Did it happen in our southwest?”

“It was over the Soviet Union. The missile they fired at it exploded nearby, which is how it got burned. I’ve been thinking about Tanner, too.”

“What’s he up to these days?”

“I don’t know. He rarely says anything.”

“At least he explained the rocks to us.”

“Yes, but that was very elementary.”

“I don’t understand why he didn’t want to say anything about the main Newfoundland rock. I wonder if he plans to tell us more about it later.”

“I don’t know what he has in mind.”

Sarah, our young, adopted Teglinlin who wanted to become an archangel like Metatron, said,“I went to see Tanner. I made him open his door and told him I had something to tell him whether he liked it or not. He said I should not speak to my elders like that and I told him that if he didn’t watch out, I would hang him on a tree and turn him into an elderberry. I told him to come into my office and lifted his heels off the floor to make him move. When we got there, he said, Do you realize who I am? And I answered, Do you know Who I represent? I told him he was too self absorbed, had 357

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withdrawn from everyone, and was withholding vital information that should be shared with certain people. I said he was getting too technical, needed to get back to his roots, and that I was going to check on him from time to time to see what progress he has made.”

I replied, “It seems to me that Tanner is a bit confused about his identity. He seems to be overly identified with the Indian who wants to be a chief and wise man that others bow down to instead of being a member of the Board that serves I AM. Maybe he has forgotten that when he first came to Earth he wasn’t an Indian.”

“He has distorted some teachings and twisted things around some.”

“When he had us choose pieces of petrified wood he scolded us for being humble. I don’t think he’s right about that.”

“I agree. The Mothers (archangels) told me to talk to him about that.”

“I’m glad they did. I’ve been concerned about him.”

Amy came for another visit. Nuke channeled as we drove to Reelfoot Lake. I stopped at the Eagle Tree Gallery across the street from the lake so Amy could see the beautiful Native American creations for sale there. Amy’s family had once owned a shop that featured such items. Amy and I wanted to hold some of the items for closer examination but obeyed the Do Not Touch signs. It was like touring a small museum, filled with all sorts of hand made artifacts.

Driving by the lake, we enjoyed the sight of several bald eagles.

At his request, I pulled off the road so that 8 could gather a large armful of Pampas grass for Marjie to use for decorations. The strands were as tall as her.

When we got back home Marjie said, “Alta Sha is telling me to ask you what significant thing happened today that caused 8 to keep on channeling.”

“We went to the lake.”

“He says you have touched upon it.”

“We had a great time at the gift shop.”

Suddenly weeping, Marjie said, “Alta Sha says it’s extremely 358

important for you to touch the things that attract you.”

“Should I touch everything that appeals to me at Walmart?”

“Don’t make fun.”

“I’m not. I just want to know if there are limits to this rule.”

Still crying, she added, “He says it’s important that you touch things that have emotional significance. I can’t explain why. It just is.”

“I didn’t touch several things I really liked because the signs said not to.”

Amy said, “I didn’t physically touch a lot of things because of the signs but I did touch them with my energy.”

Marjie said, “It’s important that you touch them with your hands. You leave traces, and someone will go there who needs to feel those traces.”

I said, “I wonder who that might be?”

“I don’t know. I just know it will be someone who needs to feel your traces. I can’t stop from crying for them.” I hugged her.

“Isn’t it good to know someone will receive what they need?”

“I’m weeping because of the reasons why they need to feel that energy and because of what might happen to them if they don’t.”

She sobbed as if grieving for a lost child.

I said, “I was thinking last night that it’s important for the five of us to go to certain sacred places around the world and power up there.”

“It’s a very important part of the healing process,” Marjie said.

“Alta Sha is saying it will be the completion of the wheel.”

“That’s what I thought. Going to Egypt would complete a circle and going around the world would make a circle, too. I felt it was the answer as to why we are here and what our ultimate mission is.” Amy seemed frightened by the idea of traveling around the world and said she would be satisfied if we sent the energy with our minds. I thought Alta Sha meant we needed to physically be there and I was looking forward to more meaningful journeys.

Marjie was washing the supper dishes when she said, “Amy is going to spend the night and I’m going to have a long talk with her about personal stuff in the morning. Alta Sha wants to speak to you, 359

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but he doesn’t want to wash dishes.”

Alta Sha took my arm when she finished and led me to sit beside him on the sofa. He said, “Eight will appear at intervals during the day but Marjorie will be with you most of the time. Her spirit will be with you during the night. I have noticed that you are more comfortable with Amy. Why is this so?”

“She’s respecting my space and isn’t being so intrusive. If Marjie doesn’t channel 8 most of the time, I’m afraid she’ll worry about Amy being alone in the trailer and will want us to go and see if she’s okay, like she has done in the past.”

“She will not do this.”

“That’s reassuring.”

“Pearl took an important step when she asked Amy to stay so she could talk to another female for a change. Amy was a catalyst in helping her to receive the revelation about the importance of touching things.”

“How did that happen?”

“You will have to ask I AM. It is too intricate for Alta Sha.”

“Was Amy conscious of her catalytic effect?”

“No. She is often not conscious of her true powers.”

“I have also thought that about her now and then.”

“You and Marjorie came to an awareness of steps you are to take without Alta Sha’s help. I AM is pleased with this.”

“When I understood what we are supposed to do, I realized we had come to that conclusion without your help. There was no need for you reveal it to us; I AM knew we would become aware.”

“Alleluia.”

“If I’m right we’ll be doing a lot of traveling, but I wonder if Amy will go with us. She thinks it’s not necessary to be physically present.”

“She has insight into all the possibilities through which this could be accomplished. She is not unaware of any alternative.”

“I thought perhaps all five of us needed to be present at those locations.”

“I AM will make this clear when the time comes.”

“I’m curious as to how we will do this traveling.”

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“The design is not yours. Curiosity is a good thing but you should not be impatient. You might miss one of the steps.”

“I am confident that I AM will provide whatever is necessary to complete our journeys and will not be impatient. I will wait and I will see. At least, now, I have an idea of what I am waiting for.”

“You have been preparing yourself.”

“A few minutes ago I was writing about a time when I was angry because you wouldn’t answer one of my questions. I thought you weren’t being very friendly.”

“Alta Sha will always be your friend.”

“Do you sometimes speak your own words, or do you only transmit the words of I AM?”

“It is my desire to become that. When Alta Sha has given his opinion it has been labeled as such.”

“I had forgotten that you do that. Thanks for reminding me.”

“It will always be so.”

“I’m looking forward to taking the steps I AM has prepared for us. Now I understand more fully why I am here.”

“Alleluia.”

“Alleluia.”

Nuke asked me, “Do you enjoy taking these steps?”

“Yes. To me, there is nothing more enjoyable than being up there on the West Spanish Peak feeling the energy of the place and blending with it, surrounded by beauty and feeling I’m doing something significant.”

“You didn’t enjoy the last trip very much.”

“I didn’t enjoy not finding the things I expected to find, but when Amy and I got near the place where I thought the craft would be and I saw that big hollow place in the ground, I knew I was supposed to get in it and just be one with the mountain. I think when we made physical contact with the mountain we might have activated a process that will cause secrets to be revealed, but I still don’t understand why I was told about the UFO and the Viking ship in so much detail if I wasn’t supposed to find them. I would have gladly gone back to the Peaks only to help Tanner find his stones. I don’t want them for myself; they belong to him. If he came 361

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to get them tomorrow, I would be happy to give them to him.”

Eight said, “Tanner won’t come and get those stones.”

“Why not?’

“Because you are the keeper of stones.”

“Tanner said I wanted to be famous and didn’t care if the sacred ground would be contaminated by hordes of people, but that’s not true. I thought I AM wanted us to find undeniable proof of contact among Indians, Vikings and ETs. The publicity might have provided enough money to finance a trip around the world. For six months, I believed we were going to find those things. Alta Sha didn’t tell me we might not find the caves until only a day or two before we left. I thought I AM should have cautioned me much sooner than that. Maybe my failure was always intended to be another lesson in not jumping to conclusions, but I thought all the information we had been given pointed in that direction.”

Nuke said, “I don’t like it when you’re disappointed.”

“Neither do I.”

“Then why do you choose to be disappointed?”

“I didn’t choose to be disappointed. I had great expectations that weren’t fulfilled. I couldn’t help being disappointed.”

“That was up to you. You can control your own emotions.”

“True, but some things are just disappointing. For example, it disappoints me that humanity chooses to burn fossil fuels as fast as they can instead of using alternate energy sources.”

“You are focusing on the exterior. We are talking about what goes on inside of you. Why do you think things should turn out the way you want them to?”

“I didn’t think they should turn out that way, I just thought they would, based on the information Tanner commanded Candace to give us and the other information I had about Viking and ET

contact with Indians. I had no reason to believe things should turn out that way.”

“Then why are you disappointed?”

“If you think you’re going to receive a wonderful gift but you don’t, it’s normal to feel disappointed. I don’t know what you’re driving at. What I have learned from all this is not to expect that 362

things will turn out the way I want them to. Nothing major in my entire life has turned out exactly the way I hoped it would.”

“You are the one who chooses to get your hopes up only to have them dashed by trying to anticipate I AM’s plan.”

“I know now I need to go with the flow instead of anticipating how things will turn out and trying to make things happen that way.”

“Don’t look to me, Alta Sha, or anyone except I AM for your answers.”

“Alta Sha praised Marjie and me for realizing it was our task to activate certain places on Earth without being told.”

Nuke said, “I felt like I was ordered to make myself your target on the last trip. I did things I didn’t want to do because I was afraid they would strain our relationship to the breaking point, but I also knew it was I AM’s will, so I did them anyway. I don’t want to have to do that again.”

“Why do you keep hammering on about my disappointment?”

Tears welled in his eyes. “It’s important, brother. I don’t want you to be disappointed.”

“I have gotten used to the idea that things will not happen the way I hope they will. It became very obvious on that trip.”

“How do you know it will be like that?”

“What I expect to happen doesn’t happen.”

“How do you know that it won’t?”

“I guess we could still find those vessels someday. I’m not ruling it out.”

“That’s important. Don’t eliminate any possible outcome.”

“Perhaps playing, singing, and dancing on the mountain were the most significant things we did, although I didn’t think so at the time. I thought we were there to acquire something concrete and physical, but now I see it was about being part of a process instead of reaching a specific goal. I can accept that because ninety percent of my work is like that. Psychotherapy is a process and you don’t know what ultimate effect your actions will have on another person. You do something you believe is a good thing to do and feel good about doing it even if you don’t know the final result.”

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“That is true for everyone.”

“I can deal with that. Now that I know how important using our energy is, we can deliberately leave traces and activate sites and set a chain of events in motion that may benefit others. We might not see the effects with our physical eyes, but I can visualize them in my mind’s eye.”

When I came home from work the following day Marjie said,

“Amy already left. We didn’t talk as much as I wanted to. My arm has been hurting me a lot today, and I can’t grip very well with my hand, so I didn’t get the laundry and the dishes done.”

“Did you go to the Station for healing?”

“It helps temporarily when I go there, but it keeps getting weaker and weaker.”

“We need to work on it.” Entranced, she spoke to 22, the Medical Director of the treatment unit, who said he could only relieve the pain temporarily because having the illness was part of her Life Plan and he was not allowed to interfere with it.

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Chapter Twenty-four:

Sacred Tablets

Nuke’s hybrid Egyptian father lived to be approximately 10,000

Earth years old. Upon his death, he left Nuke ten stone tablets written in obscure languages that the Station’s System could not easily translate. I had learned how to mentally travel to other dimensions by using my mind’s eye during meditation. In one such session, I contacted the inhabitants of a previously unknown planet and invited them to consider joining the Alliance. I didn’t think much about it after that session and hadn’t discussed it with Nuke when he said, “The people you invited to join the Alliance have a language very similar to the one which begins in the last part of the fourth tablet and continues through the rest. We are going to have a more detailed discussion with them about joining the Alliance and hope to obtain a translation. Haggabatha, Lyryn, 22, Warton 4, and possibly Agenti are going with me to their home planet.

(Haggabatha and Agenti were Board of Twelve members; Warton 4 was Chief Engineer of the Alliance.) Do you want to go?”

“Certainly.”

“Then you will be first officer to Haggabatha, who will assist in the interpretation of the tablets.”

“What is Haggabatha’s specialty?”

“Physics and numbers.”

“I don’t understand why you’re appointing me first officer over him.”

“You’re a Board member too.”

“I thought I was only Counselor to the Board, not a member.”

“You counsel us, but we don’t always do what you suggest.”

“When do you want to go?”

“Whenever you’re ready. I have sent the others ahead.”

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I finished what I was doing and sat on the sofa near 8, who was sitting in the recliner holding a book. I said, “I thought you were going with me.”

“I am.”

“Aren’t you going to hold my hand like you usually do?”

“You don’t need that.”

“What’s the name of this planet?”

“Right now it only has a number.” I gave him a skeptical look; every civilization I was familiar with had a name for its home planet. “Oh, alright, but it’s so absurd you won’t believe it.”

“What is it?”

“Murcury, but they spell it with a u, Mu. They call themselves Muans.”

I had recently read in Secret Places of the Lion by George Hunt Williamson that the lost country of Mu had been inhabited by ancestors of the Mayans, who claimed they had come to Earth from Murcury, a planet in a different solar system! I told 8 then he ought to use the lost language of Mu to translate the tablets. This delightful synchronicity made me laugh.

Nuke said it was time to go. I decided to travel in my personal craft but Nuke didn’t enjoy being in its womb-like interior, so he used his own sleek, hyper fast craft. With my third eye, I entered my craft, thinking that its intricately decorated, gold exterior would impress the Muans if they were the ancestors of the gold loving Mayans.

Murcury was similar to Earth, having large oceans, several continents with varied geography, and a moderate climate. I ordered my shining craft to loudly play Joseph’s favorite song, a lilting crescendo of joyfully tinkling music, as it settled on a flat plaza paved with huge hexagonal tiles of white stone situated at the top of a pyramid bigger than any discovered on Earth. Striving to make a notable first impression, I was wearing a golden robe over a deep blue, form fitting uniform and projected an aura of brilliant spiritual Light as I disembarked. I briefly bowed, held my hands in an attitude of prayer and then opened them in a gesture of sharing. A small delegation dressed in costumes with golden 366

accessories and long, multicolored feathers walked toward me exuding an aura of peace and serenity. Their prominent noses, receding chins and elongated skulls looked exactly like the people depicted in Mayan works of art. They clearly lived in harmony with each other and all life on their planet. They were entirely self sufficient and I doubted that anything the Alliance could offer them would be considered an improvement over their contented way of life.