Damn Yankees by Edward Drobinski - HTML preview

Damn Yankees

Page 7

player's true identity. Applegate implies that Joe is actually Shifty McCoy, a corrupt minor leaguer playing under a pseudonym. By the end of the tribute, newspapers arrive accusing Joe of being Shifty. He must meet with the baseball commissioner for a hearing or else be thrown out of baseball on the day he plans to switch back to being Joe Boyd.

At the hearing, Meg and her female neighbors arrive as material witnesses, attesting to Joe's honesty and falsely claiming he grew up with them in Hannibal. The commissioner acquits Joe, but as everyone celebrates, midnight strikes and Joe realizes he is doomed.

Applegate has planned for the Senators to lose the pennant on the last day of the season, resulting in thousands of heart

attacks, nervous breakdowns and suicides of Yankee haters across the country. He is reminded of his other evil misdeeds throughout history.

Following the hearing, Lola lets Joe know she's drugged Applegate so that he will sleep through the last game. They commiserate over their condemned situation at a nightclub.

Late the next afternoon, Applegate awakens to find the Senators/Yankees game well underway. Realizing Lola has tricked