Using cars as weapons and hiding from piggers in underwear.
First published – Aug 8 2007.
Just a few stories from way back when.
Hiding from piggers, using cars as weapons and other stuff of that nature.
1) “False alarm”
This one is hilarious.
I just got home from a busy day of running around doing the smoko drops.
I didn‟t let people meet me at home for deals, I always went through my phone and met them somewhere else to be safe.
Basically nobody except my mates new where I lived.
It had gone 11pm so I had switched of the phone.
I had one more deal to do a young lad named Pete I had been doing bizzo with for years.
He lived up the street and was a mate so I said come past.
So me this Pete, V(dog ex best mate) and my mate Ken are sitting in my lounge room smoking some pipes and Im counting up my cash.
I was doing really well at this stage so there are a number of piles of cash on the coffee table.
I decide to weigh up my stock so I could evaluate my position as it had been a busy few days so I had all the ganja laying around to.
Next thing there is a huge bang at the front door and a yell “POLICE” open up.
I just look at everything lying around and in an instant my situation flashes before my eyes.
Im on a bond and on bail for armed robbery charges so I figure fuck this and just grab two big hand fulls of cash and run!
Straight up and out of the back door and through my court yard.
I look around and think damn how stupid are these pigs not covering the back door as Ken and Pete race past me and down through the footy oval across the street.
I wasn‟t heading the same way as them, fuck that, so I turn left and run to this building.
I had to scale a barb wire fence in bare feet but I made the get away.
So I get over the fence and lay in the long grass between some heavy machinery and a building.
I stash the cash and just lay there…and lay there…and lay there.
No cops go by on the street so I realize shit that wasn‟t a raid!
I jump up and run back just in time to meet Ken and Pete at the door.
We go in and my mate Tim is in the lounge room laughing.
I gave him what for but after a few minutes I had to laugh and give him ten out of ten.
He got me good.
Mate‟s aye!
2) “Bad memory”
This next mis hap is purely my fault; I have no one to blame here lol.
I was about 19 and had to report to the old Woden police station each day before 8pm due to some court matters for dealing drugs etc.
I was still dealing with a mate of mine but basing it from a girl‟s flat I was seeing to play it safe.
She lived at a flat in Mawson a suburb in Canberra.
Smoking a lot of hooch had me both forgetful and slightly paranoid at times as you will see.
So Im at this chick‟s flat with my mate and a bunch of other people.
I was pretty tired so I was just relaxing in the bedroom watching tv while the others drank and played music out in the lounge.
Next thing I hear a loud knock at the door and the stereo goes down.
In the loungeroom the front door opens and I hear the guys talking to the coppers!
I realize at this point I haven‟t reported to the cop shop!
I have a burst of weed paranoia, I figure shit my bag of cash and weed is in the cupboard in the lounge room.
They have come for me and there is nothing I can do about it except go out the window!
PROBLEM - we are on the second story!
I grab my car keys; don‟t worry about cloths and scale out the window in my boxers.
The unit we are in is right next to the entrance which has this concrete roof display thing hanging over the entry hall way and with a short bound I go from the bedroom window on to this concrete thing.
It is even further to the ground from here so I just lay flat so I can‟t be seen from the ground or the carpark.
Five minutes go by the cops leave and hey presto.
Safe!
Then everyone has a look out the window and they all realise what has happened!
Good laugh for everyone and I came back inside.
The cops were just there for a noise complaint!!
We raced down to Woden and since it was the first time I had been late to report they let me off.
I jumped the gun on that one!
3) “A car is a weapon”
Looking back on this over a beer with my mates and it always gets a laugh as we go over what happened.
I think it was 98 so I would have been 19 and running fairly wild.
I was having a real busy afternoon running the weed around it was about 5pm and I had hours worth of drops to do so I was racing everywhere in my piece of shit white telstar.
I had several drops in Kambah and several in Wanniassa two suburbs next to each other down in Canberra.
I was racing up Athlon drive and when I got to the round about that leads to these suburbs I was on the mobile and trying to pen down some more bookings at the same time.
A round about snuck up on me.
I had decided to go to Kambah first but I was in the left lane during peak hour traffic and it was a right turn to Kambah.
I briefly glanced right and swerved into the right lane and made it through to the Kambah road.
As I did I heard a horn start sounding like crazy as I was nearly running a 4wd of the road!
I looked in my rear view and there is this crazy lookin tank of a dude in a beat up 4wd ute right up the ass of my car screaming and telling for me to pull over.
I was only a skinny young bloke so I wasn‟t stopping for this nightmare!
I just flipped him the bird and kept driving but he stayed on my tail all the way to the shops at Kambah still going off his brain “PULL OVER YA LITTLE CUNT”!!@$
etc.
So I roll up to the phones at the shops where Im meeting two blokes for a drop.
I didn‟t wanna involve these poor bastards so I just roll the window down on the passenger side of my car as I slow to a roll.
I yell to em to hop in as I get there opening the doors for em as this psycho in the 4wd also rolls up and jumps out of his car.
By the time this nut job gets out of his car I‟ve got the two other lads in my car and Im off again.
Of course the nut job is back in his car quickly and on my tail again.
I do the deal in the car and drop these guys off on the fly.
In between this drop and my next destination I managed to lose the nut job and all was forgotten….briefly.
So flash to an afternoon a few days later and Im pulling in to a service station in Wanniassa to fuel up.
I fill my tank and head in to pay.
The line at the register was long so Im standing in line and after a while Im near the front and I can hear a voice behind me chatting.
OH SHIT I know that voice!
It was the crazy lad in 4wd that had chased me!
I paid for my shit and walked out past the line that had formed behind me.
I look and yep it is the nut job!
I don‟t know if I was bitching out or what but he looked bigger and more psycho up close aye!
As I walk past this guy I see him do a double take at me as I look at him.
I didn‟t look back again I just kept moving.
As Im getting in my car I hear him screaming and running out of the servo toward me.
As he comes up the rear of my car I just think stuff it and slam the car in reverse straight at him.
As the car impacts this bloke jars backward and goes flying on to his ass on the floor.
I hit the brakes and wait to see what he does, after a few seconds he slowly gets up looking pretty injured.
Then he just says I wanted to ask you about why you cut me off yesterday and then he tells me Im a lunatic..lol
I just kinda laughed and drove off.
Some how I don‟t think he was just looking to talk with me.
Anyway let me say - a car makes a good weapon.
Back soon.